Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!
by Ilvhstry
Summary: A fun place to hang out to see all of your favorite, and dispised, characters from FMA to be tortured and dared! People get quite OC, but if you read it then you will know that I have reasons! Some spoilers in here!
1. Introduction

**IT'S BACK! It may or may not have been put back up with the approval of the people who run this website… -shifty eyes- I won't say anything if you won't. So, here it is again. I will try to update it daily. But, who am I kidding? I might not…**

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, any of the Fullmetal Alchemist movies, or any of the characters. The only thing that I own is myself.**

Lexxa (Me!): Hello, and welcome to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Edward: What? When did you get here?

Lexxa: …When did _you_ get here?...

Edward: -stares off into space-

Lexxa: To the readers out there in the fanfiction world… I WANT YOUR REVIEWS!

Alphonse: …Excuse me, scary lady?

Lexxa: Yes, Alphonse?

Alphonse: What's fanfiction?

Lexxa: -evil grin- You don't want to know.

Alphonse: Okay…

Lexxa: Anyway, onto what the reviews will be for! I WANT DARES! Give me your best dares and I will make them happen! NO DARE WILL BE TURNED AWAY! Unless, of course, it violates the rules that I will express now!

**RULE ONE:**

**Absolutely no yaoi.**

Lexxa: Sorry, yaoi fans, but I don't want to make this into something that can be disturbing…

**RULE TWO:**

**I will only do the dares that I can understand.**

Lexxa: Meaning, if you send me a bunch of gibberish, I will not use it. I don't feel like trying to decipher whatever it is that you tried to send…

**RULE THREE:**

**The dares can only be for the people in Brotherhood.**

Lexxa: Well, I might do extra chapters where the dares are for the original, but that'll only happen if it's mentioned in an author's note at the beginning of the story. I've read way too many fanfictions where it wasn't clear if it was for the Brotherhood or original cast…

**RULE FOUR:**

**Make sure that whatever you submit won't scar anyone for life. Please.**

Lexxa: It's happened many a times for me before… scary mental images… -crawls into emo corner-

**RULE FIVE:**

**Keep things on a rated T for teen level!**

Lexxa: No disturbing scenes for the young mind!

Alphonse: -looks confused- Are you saying that people are going to dare us to do stuff?

Edward: -regains his senses- NO WAY IN HELL AM I GOING TO DO THAT!

Roy: -smirks- Why not, Fullmetal. Are you chicken?

Edward: I AM NOT A CHICKEN!

Roy: Oh, right. You're just short.

Edward: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE GOT CONFUSED FOR AN ANT AT A PICNIC AND ALMOST GOT SQUASHED BY A GIANT HAND?

Alphonse: Brother! He didn't say anything like that! And Winry apologize! Let it go!

Lexxa: You know, those short rants kinda say a lot about you, Ed…

Edward: -grumbles- -stomps off into the emo corner-

Roy: -smirks- Well I'm ready for any dare as long as it gets me out of paperwork!

Riza: -shoots bullet next to Roy's head- Sir. Paperwork. Now.

Roy: -grumbles- -joins Ed in the emo corner to do his paperwork-

Lexxa: Don't forget to review!


	2. Fairy Princesses and Hair Cuts

Lexxa: Hello, and welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: Wait, you got reviews already?

Lexxa: No… But I thought of some myself and I'm bored, so I'm going to put them up here.

Al: Um… okay?

Roy: YEAH! LET'S DO THIS THING!

Lexxa: Roy… why are you shirtless?

Roy: BECAUSE –starts singing- I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT SO SEXY IT HURTS!

Lexxa: Are you drunk?

Roy: -giggles- No... –giggles again-

Lexxa: ON WITH THE DARES!

**I dare Ed to drink a gallon of milk and in between each gulp he has to say he's short.**

Ed: NO WAY IN HELL!

Lexxa: You have to do it.

Ed: Or what?

Lexxa: Or else I'll creep into your dreams every night and find out your darkest secrets and expose them to the world! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Ed: I think I'll drink the milk now… -drinks milk- I'm… short –drinks milk- I'm short –drinks milk- I'm short… -cycle continues for a long time until gallon of milk is gone- -Ed passes out-

Al: …I think you broke Brother…

Lexxa: Don't worry, he'll be fine. And ROY! PUT ON A SHIRT ALREADY! YOU'RE SCARING THE CHILDREN!

Roy: But fangirls love me shirtless…

Lexxa: Well, in case you haven't noticed, you're basically flashing five year olds who don't even know what a fangirl is. SHIRT ON NOW!

Roy: Fine… –puts on shirt-

Lexxa: Well, now that you have a shirt on, you can do your dare!

Roy: What dare?

**I dare Roy to do his paperwork without complaining.**

Roy: Awww… do I have to do it with a shirt?

Lexxa: Let's let Riza decide, since she is the one who's going to be watching over you. Riza?

Riza: Sir, if you even try to take off your shirt while doing paperwork, I'm going to shoot your hand and make you sign with your own blood.

Roy: -sulks into emo corner with paperwork-

Lexxa: While Roy is doing that, next dare!

**I dare Alphonse to yell at a kitty.**

Lexxa: Alphonse! Tell the kitty that it's ugly and it needs to get away from you before it spreads it ugliness!

Al: What? I can't do that! All kitties are adorable! Besides, you don't even have a kitty.

Lexxa: -reaches into drawer and pulls out an adorable kitty- DO IT NOW OR ELSE I'LL THROW IT OUT THE WINDOW!

Alphonse: No! Don't do that to the kitty!

Lexxa: THEN YELL AT IT!

Alphonse: …I'm so sorry for having to do this kitty… YOU'RE SUCH AN UGLY BEAST! GET AWAY FROM ME BEFORE YOU SPREAD YOUR UGLINESS! I'M SO SORRY KITTY! COME HERE! LET ME LOVE YOU! –snuggles with kitty-

Lexxa: Good job. As a reward, you get to keep the kitty, and if Ed says no, I'll just have to invade his dreams…

Roy: -crawls out of emo corner- Finally…done…

Riza: Good job, Sir.

Lexxa: Good thing you're out here, Riza, because the next dare is for you!

**I dare Riza to dress up like a fairy princess.**

Riza: No. Just no.

Lexxa: Yes you will or else I'll start taking Roy's side and make sure that you do his paperwork for him.

Riza: …Fine. Where's the outfit?

Lexxa: In that room over there. –points to a room-

Riza: -goes into room and closes the door-

Lexxa: Roy! Get away from the room!

Roy: -holding a camera- Aw, why?

Lexxa: …Sicko…

Riza: -comes out in sparkly fairy princess costume- Can I change now?

Lexxa: Yes. Yes you may.

Riza: -goes back into room-

Lexxa: FINAL DARE TIME!

**I dare Armstrong to cut off his one curly lock of hair.**

Lexxa: Here are some scissors. –hands Armstrong scissors-

Armstrong: But this curl has been passed down the Armstrong family for generations!

Lexxa: I'll kidnap your family.

Armstrong: No! Not my family! –cuts off hair- There. I did it. –same exact hair pops into place-

Everyone: -stares in shock-

Lexxa: …How did he do that?

Al: I don't know…I'm scared…

Lexxa: Well then…I STILL WANT YOUR REVEIWS! I NEED THEM! Just send a review with a dare for any of the cast members (even the ones that died in the series because here, ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE!) and I will make them do your bidding by threatening them! UNTIL NEXT TIME!


	3. Kitty Giving and Bunny Explosions

Lexxa: Hello, and welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Edward: Do you need to announce that every time?

Lexxa: Why, yes. Yes I do.

Roy: Hey…q-quit yelling in there…I-I got a headache.

Lexxa: Meaning, he's got a hangover.

Roy: Sh-shut up…

Lexxa: Anyway, first dare from my friend, Nameless!

**I dare Lexxa to give Alphonse a kitty.**

Lexxa: Yeah, this is her reaction to me making Alphonse yell at a kitty the other day…Here Alphonse! Have a kitty! –gives a kitty who is foaming at the mouth-

Alphonse: …Is this kitty safe?

Lexxa: Alphonse! You're going to hurt its feelings! HUG THE KITTY!

Alphonse: NO! I DON'T WANT TO HURT IT'S FEELINGS! LET ME LOVE YOU! –hugs cat that tries to bite him-

Edward: NO, AL! DON'T DO IT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO GET RABIES!

Lexxa: EDWARD! DON'T BE MEAN TO THE KITTY AND DENY IT HUGS! Alphonse, I just want you to keep hugging that kitty…

Edward: DEMON! YOU ARE A DEMON!

Lexxa: SHHHH! That was supposed to be a secret!

Everyone: -takes a step away from Lexxa-

Lexxa: Onto the next dare from-

Scar: -runs into the room and puts hand on Mustang's forehead- YOUR FACE EXPLODES! (watch the outtakes if confused)

Roy: MY _HEAD_ IS EXPLODING BECAUSE OF YOU! NOW GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!

Scar: -pulls hand away from forehead- I just wanted to explode some face…

Lexxa: SCAR! –hits with frying pan- WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

Scar: I just wanted to explode some face…

Lexxa: THEN I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU DO ONE OF MY OWN DARES, AND IT WON'T BE FUN!

**I dare Scar to make an adorable bunny explode.**

Scar: But I love adorable bunnies…

Lexxa: I don't care what you love. EXPLODE THE BUNNY!

Scar: Do I have to?

Lexxa: Yes, you do. It's your punishment for trying to explode Roy's face. DO IT!

Scar: Or what?

Lexxa: I'll show everyone..._the picture._

Scar: NO! NOT THE PICTURE!

Lexxa: YES THE PICTURE! Now it's bunny explosion time. –pulls out a realistic stuffed animal-

Scar: Aw, but it's so cute…

Lexxa: -starts waving a camera around-

Scar: FINE! –puts hand on fake bunny's head- DIE, BUNNY, DIE! –bunny explodes- -starts crying- I LOVED IT SO MUCH!

Al: -whispering to Lexxa- He knew that it was fake, right?

Lexxa: -whispering to Al- I have no idea…let's not tell him and call him a bunny killer!

Al: -nods- -whispers to Ed-

Ed: -nods- -whispers to Riza-

Everyone except Scar: -gets whispered to and nods before passing it on-

Scar: What's happening?

Lexxa: BUNNY KILLER!

Scar: Wha-

Everyone: -chanting- BUNNY KILLER! BUNNY KILLER!

Scar: I HAD TO DO IT!

Lexxa: As a punishment for killing a bunny, next chapter I'm going to reveal your picture!

Scar: BUT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T!

Lexxa: Well, I changed my mind. Everyone reading at home, remember to review! I WANT TO PUT YOUR DARES ON HERE! And, until next time, remember that turtles do not wear socks. You only make that mistake once…


	4. Mini Skirts and Barbie Girl

Lexxa: Okay, so as promised in last chapter, here's the picture of Scar! –shows picture of Scar in a Little Bo Peep costume-

Scar: The shame…

Lexxa: Hey! Look who's over their hangover!

Roy: -stumbles in with bed-head- Never… again…

Edward: That's what you said last time.

Roy: Yeah, well I mean it this time!

Hughes: Let's test it! –pulls out Vodka-

Roy: AHHH! I THOUGHT YOU DIED!

Lexxa: I brought him back to life through my awesome authoress powers!

Hughes: Thanks for that, by the way! –jiggles Vodka- Come on, Roy! You know you want it!

Roy: Yeah…yeah I do want it… -grabs Vodka and takes a huge gulp-

Lexxa: Hurry up and get drunk! You need it for this first dare! Oh, and enjoy it while it lasts… -evil knowing smile-

Roy: What?

Lexxa: OH, I DON'T CARE IF HE'S DRUNK ANYMORE! I got my first review and I'm so happy about it!

Alphonse: So people actually read this?

Lexxa: YES! AND I'M BUZZING WITH JOY!

Edward: Oh, man, does that mean I have to put up with some crazies?

Lexxa: Yes. Yes you do. All of the dares in here are from Chameleon52!

**Ed and Roy: Sing Barbie Girl very loudly.**

Edward: No.

Roy: What?

Lexxa: JUST DO IT ALREADY BEFORE I ALLOW YAOI!

Edward: NO!

Roy: What's yaoi?

Edward: Please don't ask… Just sing…

Roy: Okay. –whips off shirt-

Edward: Must you do this shirtless?

Roy: Yes.

Edward: Fine…

Roy and Ed: I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN A BARBIE WORLD! LIFE IN PLASTIC IS FANTASTIC! –sings the rest of the song-

Lexxa: -clapping- YEAH! That was an awesome dare, Chameleon52! NEXT DARE!

**Riza: Wear a mini-skirt.**

Riza: What's with all of this stupid outfits?

Lexxa: I don't know… BUT YOU MUST DO IT!

Roy: DO IT NOW!

Lexxa: Excited enough?

Riza: Fine… -walks into room with miniskirt-

Roy: SHE IS JOINING MY MINISKIRT ARMY!

Riza: -from inside room- NO I'M NOT!

Lexxa: HURRY UP IN THERE!

Riza: -walks out of room in miniskirt- There.

Roy: -nosebleed-

Lexxa: Okay, now go change back while we do the next dare!

Riza: Thank you. –goes back into room- -comes out in usual attire-

Lexxa: NEXT DARE!

**Roy: Don't drink for a week.**

Lexxa: ROY! GIVE ME YOUR VODKA!

Roy: NO!

Lexxa: Now, or I'll tell you what yaoi is!

Ed: GIVE HER THE VODKA! JUST DO IT!

Roy: Fine… -hands over Vodka-

Lexxa: All other alcoholic beverages, too.

Roy: Fine… -hands over a bunch of alcoholic beverages-

-One week later-

Lexxa: Never… again…

Edward: That was terrifying…

Roy: I don't think it was that bad…

Alphonse: -shoves beer at Roy- DRINK IT NOW!

Roy: But I like being sober…

Riza: Please, Sir… I beg of you…

Roy: Fine…

-Five minutes later-

Roy: -drunk and shirtless-

Lexxa: How he gets drunk so fast, I'll never know…

Edward: Hey, aren't there any more dares?

Lexxa: YOU'RE RIGHT! And, Ed, you'll like the next one!

**Winry: Let Ed break your wrench.**

Winry: MY BABY!

Lexxa: Let Ed break it or else we'll go into that room over there and only one of us will come out.

Winry: …Fine… -hands Edward wrench-

Edward: YEAH! –throws it on the ground (I THREW IT ON THE GROUND!) and breaks it-

Winry: …

Lexxa: Good job, Ed! NEXT DARE! –whispers into Alphonse's ear-

Alphonse: Do I have to?

Lexxa: Yes.

Alphonse: Fine… -walks over to Ed and slaps him-

Edward: W-why did you do that?

Alphonse: THE MAGIC ROBOT UNICORNS FROM FAIRYLAND TEAMED UP WITH THE AMAZING HORSE AND TOOK OVER MY BODY!

Edward: …What?

Lexxa: It was his dare.

Edward: What do you mean?

**Al: Slap your brother. If he asks why you did that say the magic robot unicorns from fairyland teamed up with the amazing horse and took over your body.**

Edward: Some people are messed up…

Lexxa: -hits Ed with wrench she borrowed from Winry- DON'T YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY REVIEWERS!

Edward: What? It's true…

Lexxa: -hits again- I APPRECIATE EVERYTHING THAT THEY WRITE ABOUT MY STORIES AND THEY MAKE ME FEEL ACCOMPLISHED! SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT THEM AGAIN AND MAYBE _WE'LL _BE THE ONES IN THE ROOM!

Ed: Sorry…

Lexxa: Well, until next time! REMEMBER TO REVIEW! I love it when you review! I literally ran around my house doing a happy dance when I saw reviews! And, DoctorWhotaliaantheOlympians , your dares will be in the next chapter! I had too many for one chapter… UNTIL NEXT TIME, REVIEW!


	5. Palm Tree Peeing and Edwards Battle

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Roy: It hasn't even been a day…

Lexxa: I DON'T CARE! I promised that hers would be next chapter, and I want to post it ASAP! Oh, and thanks for the punishment tool. –winks-

Edward: What does she mean, 'punishment tool'?

Lexxa: Don't do the dare and you'll find out.

Edward: -starts backing away-

Lexxa: FIRST DARE!

**The dare is that Envy shall turn into a palm tree and Black Hayate and Den shall pee on him!**

Envy: NO!

Lexxa: YAY! PUNISHMENT TOOL TIME!

Mary-Sue: Hello, Envy!

Envy: What?

Mary-Sue: I'm sure that we'll be perfect together! LET'S GET MARRIED AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!

Envy: NO! I'LL DO THE DARE! I'LL DO THE DARE!

Lexxa: Good. Mary-Sue, go back into the closet.

Mary-Sue: But-

Lexxa: GO IN THE CLOSET!

Mary-Sue: -runs into the closet-

Lexxa: -locks closet door- Okay, Envy. PALM TREE TIME!

Envy: -turns into palm tree-

Lexxa: Riza and Winry, may I borrow Black Hayate and Den?

Riza: Sure. BLACK HAYATE!

Black Hayate: -runs into room-

Winry: No problem. DEN!

Den: -runs into room-

Lexxa: -in baby voice- Do the puppies have to tinkle? Yeah, you have to tinkle. Do you wanna tinkle on the tree? Go tinkle on the tree!

Black Hayate and Den: -go over to Envy and pee-

Lexxa: RUN AWAY PUPPIES! RUN AWAY!

Black Hayate and Den: -run away-

Envy: -back to normal- WHERE DID THOSE MUTTS GO?

Lexxa: Envy, temper.

Envy: NO! I SHOULD KILL YOU ALL!

Lexxa: Do I need to get the Mary-Sue out here?

Envy: …No…

Lexxa: Then shut up.

**Lexxa: Bring in all other Edwards in to have a battle of manliness! **

Lexxa: Okay, I'll do my best, but I don't get out much and don't know many Edwards… -calls in Edward Cullen, Edward Scissorhands, Ed, Edd, Eddy (from Ed, Edd, n' Eddy), Ed Wood, and Mr. Ed- -locks all of them including Edward Elric in a room-

Al: Is Brother going to be okay?

Lexxa: I don't know… -goes to microphone- ATTENTION VARIOUS EDS AND EDWARDS! You are all in there to fight to the death. HINT! You kill the Cullen guy by cutting him up and burning him. NOBODY LEAVES UNTIL THERE IS ONLY ONE SURVIVOR! Don't worry Edward Elric. If you die, I can bring you back. BUT THEN YOUR NEW NICKNAME WOULD BE WIMP TO ME! And… BEGIN!

-three hours later-

Mr. Ed: -walks out of room-

Lexxa: …The horse won?

Roy: How is that even possible?

Riza: I don't like him.

Lexxa: You can shoot him.

Riza: -shoots Mr. Ed-

Al: YOU NEED TO BRING BACK BROTHER!

Lexxa: Relax! –Edward Elric pops into room-

Edward: Thanks, Lexxa…

Lexxa: No problem, Wimp.

Edward: …

Lexxa: PLEASE GIVE ME REVEIWS! If you have a dare in mind, then submit it! Oh, and if this is a concern for you people, I'm not one of those authors that forbids reviews from people without accounts. I think that the people without accounts are just as amazing. REVIEW!

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Lexxa: …Hey, Scar, can you get something from that closet for me?

Scar: Sure. –walks into closet-

Lexxa: -closes door and locks it-

Closet: -various screams are heard from inside it-

Lexxa: The Mary-Sue strikes again… THANK YOU SO MUCH DOCTORWHOTALIAANDTHEOLYMPIAN S!


	6. Gluttony Starvation and Fanny Packs

**No children were harmed in the making of this fanfic.**

Lexxa: Hello, and welcome back to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: Again? This is the third time today…

Lexxa: Well I like to respond to reviews immediately because I'm not like those other fanfiction people who disappear for long times with no reason. Even when I didn't get reviews I posted often. ((Note from the future: ...I abandoned them for a long time and multiple times...))

Ed: And it frustrated us all to no end.

Lexxa: Stop being a bad sport before I sic my Mary-Sue on you!

Ed: -backs away slowly-

Lexxa: So these dares are from my amazing friend Andromeda!

**I want Gluttony to NOT eat anything for a week,**

Lexxa: Gluttony, YOU WILL NOW FAST FOR A WEEK!

Gluttony: But I'm so hungry…

Lexxa: Would you rather face my Mary-Sue?

Gluttony: Can I eat her?

Lexxa: No.

Lust: Gluttony can do what he wants.

Lexxa: Agree with me or else you'll face my Mary-Sue yourself. And she'll have a spork.

Lust: What can she do with a spork?

Lexxa: -whispers in Lust's ear-

Lust: -shudders- GLUTTONY, NO EATING!

-one week later-

Gluttony: Can I eat now?

Lexxa: Yes. There's a school over there.

Gluttony: IT'S LIKE AN ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET!

-one hour later-

Gluttony: I'm full.

Lust: I'd hope so. You ate the building as well!

Gluttony: But I was so hungry…

Lexxa: Well then…NEXT DARE!

**Greed to admit that he doesn't want something,**

Lexxa: LING! LET GREED TAKE OVER!

Ling: Fine…but only for a second…I want to continue running up the room service bill…I MEAN I WANT TO CONTINUE PERSUING IMMORTALITY! –nervous laugh-

Lexxa: Whatever you say...

Ed: HEY!

Greed: What do you want?

Lexxa: Admit that you don't want anything.

Greed: But I want everything.

Lexxa: Would you rather see my Mary-Sue with a spork?

Greed: …No…

Lexxa: Then say it.

Greed: …I…I don't want anything…

Ed: NOW LET LING TAKE CONTROL SO I CAN BEAT HIM UP!

Lexxa: NO TIME! Next dare!

**Salim to sing 'I'm A Little Teapot' while standing on one leg,**

Lexxa: Selim! DO IT NOW!

Selim: …Fine… -stands on one leg- I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT! HERE IS MY HANDLE HERE IS MY SPOUT! WHEN YOU TIP ME OVER HEAR ME SHOUT TIP ME OVER AND POUR ME OUT!

Ed: -giggling- Manly, dude…

Selim: -starts reaching out with shadows-

Lexxa: NO SHADOWS! Unless you want to get personal with Mary-Sue…

Selim: Fine. She doesn't scare me.

Lexxa: IN THE CLOSET!

Selim: -walks into closet-

Lexxa: -locks door-

Closet: -screams come from it-

Lexxa: -opens closet door-

Selim: -runs out of closet covered in cuts- WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Lexxa: Mary-Sue. That's what just happened.

Selim: -goes into emo corner and sulks-

Lexxa: NEXT DARE!

**And for Armstrong to give up the secret of where his shirt goes.**

Lexxa: Spill it.

Armstrong: It's a disappearing act! Magic was passed down the Armstrong line for generations!

Lexxa: I don't believe it.

Armstrong: BUT IT'S TRUE!

Lexxa: Nope. Don't believe it. ROY! Search him!

Roy: -makes a disgusted face- NO! Get the Mary-Sue to do it!

Lexxa: Okay. MARY-SUE!

Mary-Sue: Yes?

Lexxa: Search Armstrong for any hidden pockets where he might hide his shirt.

Mary-Sue: -giggles- If you insist…

Lexxa: AND ONLY SEARCHING!

Mary-Sue: Aw… -starts searching Armstrong- FOUND IT!

Lexxa: Where is it?

Mary-Sue: He has an invisible fanny pack!

Lexxa: …Really?

Mary-Sue: Yep.

Lexxa: Okay… RETURN TO YOUR CLOSET!

Mary-Sue: -goes into closet-

Lexxa: Until next time! And, sorry to have to keep preaching this, but REVIEW! And that's all.


	7. Eating Contests and Automail Breaking

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or Garfield…**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Greeling: You update this way too much…

Lexxa: NO! YOU CAN NEVER UPDATE TOO MUCH!

Ed: Yeah, yeah. Who reviewed?

Lexxa: DoctorWhotaliaantheOlympians . But, from now on, she is known as Doc.

Al: Wait, are you talking about the same person who gave you the Mary-Sue?

Lexxa: Yep!

Everyone: -steps away-

Lexxa: Now, before I get into Doc's dares, I would like to do something. This guy at my school made me mad, so I am going to punish him here!

Ed: What? Can you do that?

Lexxa: YES I CAN! DON'T DOUBT MY AWESOME POWERS! Anyway, he will be known in this fanfiction as KittyK.

Ed: Why KittyK?

Lexxa: Because he hated it. ANYWAY! KITTYK MUST NOW APPEAR IN THIS FANFICTION!

KittyK: Where am I?

Lexxa: I told you I would torture you with my Mary-Sue.

KittyK: What's a Mary-Sue?

Lexxa: Oh, yeah… I forgot you don't read fanfiction… NO MERCY! GET IN THE CLOSET! –throws him into closet and locks door-

Roy: Is he going to be okay?

Lexxa: No. No he is not. FIRST DARE!

**Winry: Break your Ed's automail. It was the first thing that came to my head.**

Lexxa: WINRY! BREAK THE AUTOMAIL!

Ed: WAIT, DON'T I GET A SAY IN THIS?

Lexxa: No. BREAK IT NOW!

Winry: BUT IT'S MY BABY!

Lexxa: Then maybe I'll have to use one of the other two tools that Doc gave me…

Al: What are they?

Lexxa: A flamer and a troll!

Ed: What do they do?

Lexxa: I'm not sure… Do you want to be my test subject?

Ed: No….

Lexxa: WINRY! BREAK THE AUTOMAIL ALREADY!

Winry: -whispers to automail- -takes out wrench- AHHHHHH! –beats automail to smithereens-

Lexxa: Good girl!

Ed: WHY DID YOU DO THAT, WINRY!

Winry: I can make you more automail. I can't make my innocence to the flamer and troll…

Lexxa: She's right… NEXT DARE!

**Envy: Admit your gender! Because I think I know it!**

Envy: No problem. I'm a hermaphrodite.

Everyone: -stares-

Envy: What?

Lexxa: …Nothing…

Envy: Seriously, what?

Lexxa: Doc… you were right…

Ed: H-how did she know?

Lexxa: SHE'S MAGIC! And now here's her next dare!

**Scar: FIX MARCOH'S FACE!**

Scar: Good thing that I got the construction arm from my brother… -walks up to Marcoh- YOUR FACE REFORMS!

Marcoh: -face fixes- HOLY CRAP!

Scar: I don't think that crap can be holy…

Lexxa: Good job, Scar. NEXT DARE!

**Gluttony: Eating contest with Ling, Lan Fan, and GARFIELD!**

Gluttony: I'm going win.

Ling: NU UH!

Garfield: Where am I?

Lexxa: Hello Garfie- ALPHONSE! PUT HIM DOWN! HE'S HERE ON BUSINESS!

Al: But he's so cute…

Garfield: LET ME GO!

Al: …Fine…

Lexxa: As I was saying, Garfield, you're here for an eating contest.

Garfield: Is there lasagna involved?

Lexxa: …Sure! –gestures to a table stocked with lasagna-

Ling: What's lasagna?

Garfield: THE MOST AMAZING FOOD EVER!

Ling: …Okay…

Lexxa: BEGIN!

Gluttony, Ling, Lan Fan, and Garfield: -eat a lot of lasagna-

-three hours later-

Lexxa: Are they done yet?

Riza: Lan Fan's out…

Lexxa: Yeah, but she got out at the one hour mark… these people must be bottomless…

-three more hours later-

Lexxa: I think that we should move on…

Roy: I AM SO BORED RIGHT NOW!

Lexxa: Then let's torture Armstrong!

**Armstrong: NO SPARKLES! I will have Gluttony eat them.**

Lexxa: EATING CONTEST PAUSE! PUT DOWN THE TRAYS!

Gluttony, Ling, and Garfield: -puts down lasagna reluctantly-

Lexxa: So now, I decided that the contest was a tie. You guys can still eat, but I'm not going to make Ed keep track anymore. He looks like he needs a nap…

Armstrong: BUT THESE SPARKLES WERE PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!

Lexxa: And now Gluttony will eat them Gluttony!

Gluttony: -eats sparkles-

Armstrong: I AM NOTHING WITHOUT MY SPARKLES!

Lexxa: And that's how I like it. Goodbye everyone! PLEASE REVIEW!

Ed: I feel like we're missing something…

Lexxa: OH YEAH! We need to see if KittyK lived! –opens closet-

KittyK: -crawls out of closet cut up and bruised- I'm… sorry… DON'T MAKE THAT HAPPEN AGAIN! PLEASE!

Lexxa: Don't make me mad and we'll see. But, first… TELL EVERYONE TO REVIEW!

KittyK: PLEASE REVIEW! I VALUE MY LIFE!

Lexxa: Goodbye, all!


	8. Mustangs and Gun Taking

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or Pokemon.**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Kimblee: How come I haven't been in here yet?

Lexxa: BECAUSE NOBODY LIKES YOU!

Riza: Who's the reviewer?

Lexxa: It's Doc again! I'm seriously loving her dares! –quieter- And the fact that she gave me more weapons.

Edward: What weapons?...

Lexxa: A portal to the land of Sues and an Icee machine!

Edward: …Just say what the dares are…

Roy: Oh, no… I'm not in there, am I?

Lexxa: Why, yes. Yes you are. FIRST DARE!

**Riza: I shall take your guns because I don't want to get shot for this.**

Lexxa: Before I continue, guns, please.

Riza: -hands over guns-

**Riza, you shall put on cute, sexy outfit and put on fashion show for Roy. He deserves it for what I'm about to do to him**

Riza: WHAT? GIVE ME MY GUNS!

Lexxa: No. You and Roy go into the room over there and do the dare.

Roy: I LOVE YOU, DOC!

Lexxa: -quietly- Not for long…

Roy: What?

Lexxa: Nothing! Go do the dare!

Roy and Riza: -goes into room-

Lexxa: Poor Riza…

Winry: I feel no sympathy.

Lexxa: Why not?

Winry: She was in a war. She has to be prepared for anything.

Lexxa: …True…

Roy and Riza: -walk out of room-

Roy: -nosebleed-

Lexxa: Okay, Roy, I hope you enjoyed that!

Roy: Oh, yeah… I did… THANK YOU DOC!

Lexxa: Don't get too excited, now!

**Roy: You're useless. But you could prove me wrong by a) being in the same room as a herd of wild mustangs and become one with the herd, b) turning into a My Little Pony of Elicia and Nina, or c) Go for a while in a cage full of hyped up kids.**

Lexxa: I'm feeling nice today, so Roy, you get to pick your poison! But, if you choose c, then you can't use your flame alchemy!

Roy: …I HATE YOU, DOC!

Lexxa: BE NICE TO DOC! She's officially awesome.

Roy: NO SHE'S NOT! PEOPLE WHO WANT OTHERS TO TURN INTO A MY LITTLE PONY ARE NOT AWESOME!

Lexxa: Yes they are. At least, when their desires are pointed at you.

Roy: …Do you hate me, or something?

Lexxa: OF COURSE NOT! I love all of the characters in Fullmetal Alchemist! It's just fun torturing you! Now, stop putting things off and choose an option!

Roy: I don't know… a?

Lexxa: Good choice! Go into that room over there! –points to a room-

Roy: -walks into the room-

Lexxa: Gather round, children! It's story time!

Edward: What do you mean by story time?

Lexxa: I mean that I have a camera in that room so that we can watch what happens in there as he becomes one with the mustangs! –turns on a computer-

Everyone: -watches the video on the screen-

Roy: ATTENTION ALL HORSES! I AM YOUR NEW MASTER!

Mustangs: -look at Roy with nothing but disgust in their pony features-

Roy: NOW, BRING ME SOME GRAPES!

Mustangs: -start trampling Roy-

Roy: OWWWW! STOP IT! OUCH! AS YOUR LEADER I COMMAND YOU TO STOP TRAMPLING ME!

Mustangs: -continue to trample Roy-

Lexxa: Okay then… -closes computer- Why don't we move on and check on him in a little bit…

**Winry: Here's new automail. I made it myself. *hands Winry new automail* sorry if I'm awful at it…-.-**

Lexxa: Winry, what do you say?

Winry: OH MY GOD! IT'S THE MOST FABULOUS AUTOMAIL I'VE EVER SEEN! YOU'RE A MASTER AT MAKING AUTOMAIL! PLEASE TAKE ME ON AS YOUR APPRENTICE!

Lexxa: Aren't you Dominic's apprentice?

Winry: …I changed my mind on Dominc…

Lexxa: Okay then… NEXT DARE!

**Alphonse: You shall sing the Disney song, "everybody wants to be a cat" from the Aristocats.**

Lexxa: YAY! SINGING TIME!

Alphonse: …Really?

Lexxa: Sing it or else you'll hurt her feelings!

Alphonse: I DON'T WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS! Everybody wants to be a cat because a cat's the only cat who knows where it's at. –sings the rest of the song-

Everyone: -applauds-

Lexxa: Alphonse, you're really good at singing…

Alphonse: Why, thank you.

Lexxa: We should check on Roy… -opens computer-

Roy: I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR WIFE!

Lexxa: -closes computer quickly-

Lexxa: …Let's wait a while longer…

Everyone: -nods slowly-

**KittyK (because Lexxa thinks you deserve it): You shall test ou the flamer and troll.**

Lexxa: YEAH! I GET TO FIGURE OUT WHAT IT DOES!

KittyK: I thought I was only in that chapter!

Lexxa: Well, if the reviewers want it, you'll be in every chapter!

KittyK: WHAT?

Lexxa: TESTING TIME! –uses flamer-

KittyK: WHAT'S WITH ALL OF THESE BAD COMMENTS GOING THROUGH MY MIND? HOW DID THESE VOICES LEARN THESE THINGS ABOUT ME? THE PAIN! –falls to the ground clutching head-

Lexxa: …That was… AWESOME! I didn't think that it would actually flame the person! NOW THEY WILL KNOW HOW AUTHORS FEEL IF THEY GET FLAMED!

KittyK: Make…it…stop…

Lexxa: Fine, but that's only because I need to check out what the troll does! –uses troll-

KittyK: I FEEL LIKE I'M ADHD NOW! So… many… random… thoughts… so… off… topic…

Lexxa: And that, boys and girls, is what trolling is.

KittyK: I GOT A PASSION IN MY PANTS AND I AIN'T AFRAID TO SHOW IT SHOW IT SHOW IT I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!

Lexxa: See? Trolling.

KittyK: MAKE IT STOP!

Lexxa: No. We'll just lock you in a soundproof room. MARY-SUE!

Mary-Sue: Yes?

Lexxa: Go lock KittyK in the soundproof room and then go back into your closet.

Mary-Sue: Can I get a reward this time?

Lexxa: Yes. Later you can do what you want with a person of your choosing.

Mary-Sue: EDWARD! I CHOOSE YOU!

Edward: What, am I a Pokemon now?

Lexxa: If the Mary-Sue wants it so, yes.

Mary-Sue: YAY! –locks KittyK in soundproof room and drags Edward with her into closet-

Alphonse: …Will Brother be okay?

Lexxa: I don't know, Alphonse. I just don't know… LET'S CHECK ON ROY! –pulls out computer-

Roy: Hey, you guys! The grass over here is awesome!

Mustangs: -walk over to eat some of the grass being mentioned-

Lexxa: ...He ate grass?

Riza: I think he really has become one with the herd…

Alphonse: Who's going to go get him?

Hughes: I'll do it!

Lexxa: Okay then… Just be careful.

Hughes: Don't worry! –goes into room- -on computer- Roy! Come here, boy!

Roy: AHHHH! HUMAN!

Hughes: -pulls out carrot- Come here! Come on! Do you want the carrot? Come on! Get the carrot!

Roy: -carefully walks over to Hughes-

Hughes: Come on!

Roy: -starts nibbling carrot-

Hughes: -slowly walking backwards towards door-

Roy: -follows while continuing to nibble on carrot-

Hughes: -finally out the door- Good Roy! –slams door shut-

Lexxa: WE MUST REHABILITATE HIM TO ACT HUMAN!

Roy: -shakes head- What just happened?

Lexxa: Maybe not…

Roy: Did I win the dare?

Lexxa: Yes. Yes you did, Roy.

Roy: …Sweet.

Lexxa: Roy, would you like to do the honors of requesting reviews?

Roy: Sure. Lexxa wants reviews.

Lexxa: You've got to make it more spectacular than that!

Kimblee: Like this! –throws things into the sky and blows them up to read "REVIEW"-

Lexxa: Kimblee… That… Was… AWESOME!

Kimblee: Thanks.

Lexxa: But, yeah, REVIEW!


	9. Only Dating

Lexxa: Hello, and welcome back to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: AGAIN? I think that you need to get a life…

Lexxa: I have one. It just so happens to be one that revolves around anime and fanfiction.

Winry: Is it from Doc again?

Lexxa: No. Actually, it's from Andromeda again! And she gave me use of Nikolas Shadows, so he is now my co-host!

Nikolas: Hello.

Lexxa: And BEWARE! He can _also_ be used as a weapon! I'm getting so many! But, before we get into the dares, Nikolas, would you like an Icee?

Nikolas: Sure.

Lexxa: -hands Nikolas Icee- And to Andromeda, YOU GET AN ICEE, TOO! –gives Icee-

Al: Please don't tell me Icees make you hyper…

Lexxa: YES THEY DO!

Roy: …

Lexxa: Anyway! Only one dare, really, but Andromeda really wants it!

**Mustang has to go on a date with me, and Havoc with my friend Fan(: and they both have to be nice, respectable gentlemen and treat us like princesses and give us a night we won't forget(:**

Roy: YEAH! MINISKIRT ARMY!

Lexxa: Personally, I'm a Resembool Ranger.

Ed: HA! BEAT THAT! Wait…

Lexxa: Yep!

Ed: THEN WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SO MEAN TO ME?

Lexxa: NO FAVORITISM! That's my policy!

Ed: …

Havoc: Is Fan cute?

Lexxa: I'm not sure… I don't think I know her… But I'm sure she's adorable!

Al: So that was the dare?

Lexxa: Yes!

Roy: I would love to go on a date with a member of my Miniskirt Army!

Havoc: Sure. I'm always looking for a girlfriend.

Lexxa: Have fun on your dates!

Havoc and Roy: -disperse to go on their dates-

Lexxa: Andromeda, make sure to tell me if I need to punish them or not! And to the rest of the fanfiction readers, sorry that this was a short chapter! I just don't want to follow them on their dates because then it wouldn't be special!

Nikolas: And stalkerish.

Lexxa: Yes. Very stalkerish. REVIEW! Tell me what you think of Nikolas! To the females out there, Resembool Ranger or Miniskirt Army? I AM CURIOUS!


	10. More Mini Skirts and Fangirls

Lexxa: Welcome back to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: This episode's reviewer is xxDangerousPiexx.

Ed: I think this is the quickest that you've ever gotten to the point…

Lexxa: You ruined it!

Nikolas: -dumps Icee on Ed-

Ed: COLD! I THOUGHT THAT YOU FAVORED ME, LEXXA!

Lexxa: NO FAVORITISM IN THE SHOW! Outside of the show, however, I become like your little stalker…

Ed: …

Nikolas: First dare.

**I dare Roy to wear a miniskirt…:D**

Lexxa: I knew that it would happen at some point!

Roy: …

Lexxa: What, no reaction?

Roy: Well, I'm thinking of which could be worse, the dare or your torture devices…

Lexxa: Well, I've been itching to try Nikolas out on someone…

Roy: DO IT TO KITTYK!

Lexxa: Okay then! KittyK!

KittyK: Oh, no. Not this again!

Lexxa: NIKOLAS! MAKE HIM FEEL UNCONTROLABLE FEAR!

Nikolas: Okay. –closes eyes-

KittyK: AHHHHHH! MAKE IT STOP!

Lexxa: Okay Nikolas. You can stop.

Nikolas: Okay. –opens eyes-

Lexxa: Want another Icee?

Nikolas: Yes. –gets two Icees and hands one to Lexxa-

Lexxa: Ha! And I didn't even have to ask! Anyway, Roy! Wear the miniskirt!

Roy: Fine… -walks into changing room- -comes out in miniskirt- Can I change now?

Lexxa: No. You have to stay like that for the remainder of the show.

Roy: WHAT?

Lexxa: Don't make me use Nikolas on you!

Roy: …Can I at least have an Icee?

Lexxa: Sure, why not. –hands Roy Icee-

Ed: Hey, what about me?

Lexxa: AFTER YOUR DARE!

**I dare Edward to be locked in a closet with all his Fangirls for one minute. **

Lexxa: xxDangerousPiexx, I'm just saying that I'm not going in there with those rabid fangirls… I need to be alive to host the show.

Ed: WHAT?

Lexxa: GO IN THERE, EDWARD!

Ed: -grumbles as he walks into room-

Lexxa: Nikolas, can you make Edward an extra large Icee for when he comes back out?

Nikolas: Sure. –makes extra large Icee-

Lexxa: By the way, Doc, THE ICEE MACHINE WAS THE BEST GIFT EVER!

Nikolas: Seriously. Thanks.

Lexxa: Nikolas, you don't get excited much, do you?

Nikolas: Not particularly…

-timer goes off-

Lexxa: LET HIM OUT!

Ed: -stumbles out with clothes torn and hair unbraided- That…was…torture…

Nikolas: Here. –hands Icee-

Ed: -takes Icee- …Thanks…

Lexxa: Nikolas, would you like to do the honors?

Nikolas: Please review.

Lexxa: And I would like to add a new option to the people who can receive dares. NIKOLAS AND I WILL ACCEPT DARES! Dare us to do anything you'd like! I will not say no! And I don't think that Nikolas will say no to anything…

Nikolas: I will not deny the reviewers right to dare me to do things.

Lexxa: …Deep man…


	11. Explosions and Musicals

Nikolas: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom.

Lexxa: I couldn't have said it better myself.

Ed: Who is it this time?

Lexxa: None other than our favorite Doc! And let me just comment on something… the first few chapters of this I wasn't getting any reviews and I was nervous that I would have to scrape my way along trying desperately to keep my sinking ship afloat, but right now it's 10:07 at night and I'm still up writing chapters! YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!

Nikolas: And this chapter will be long. There are a lot of dares.

Lexxa: Indeed. FIRST THING! Even though it's not a dare…

**Winry: I'm glad you like my automail, but I suck at teaching, so I'll have Domonic do it! Heheh…**

Winry: Aw…

Lexxa: Nikolas! Use your awesome power to make Winry feel happy!

Nikolas: Okay. –closes eyes-

Winry: I'm okay now!

Lexxa: Good job, Nikolas!

Nikolas: -opens eyes- Thanks.

Lexxa: Second thing! And this one's a dare!

**Roy: good boy! Here's an apple! The dare is wether or not you can survive the poison apple~**

Lexxa: Roy! Eat the apple!

Roy: But what if I die?

Lexxa: Then you will be missed. Enjoy.

Roy: What?

Lexxa: Eat the apple already!

Roy: -takes bite of apple- Not bad, actually…

Lexxa: And we will find out if you live or not at the end of the chapter because I need you!

Roy: WHAT?

Lexxa: Relax. Doc gave me a machine to bring you back to life between shows.

Roy: …

Nikolas: Next dare.

**Kimblee: Blow up stuff. I'll pay for the damages.**

Kimblee: Then I hope you're rich. –runs through Central blowing up everything in sight-

Nikolas: I don't think that I can imitate what he's feeling right now…

Lexxa: I'm sorry if your credit score goes bad after this, Doc. NEXT DARE!

**Riza: you may now shoot me.**

Riza: Okay then! –starts shooting at Doc- -m&ms come out of gun- What?

Lexxa: Oh, yeah, Doc replaced your bullets with m&ms…

Nikolas: Shall we move on?

Lexxa: Yes. Yes we shall.

**Mei: I darez you to show everyone your secret Alphonse collection~ I have eyes everywhere~ I know these things~**

Mei: NO!

Al: Wait, what?

Lexxa: SHOW US NOW!

Mei: … -takes everyone to a room-

Everyone: -looks around with mouths agape-

Al: Mei… Is there something you want to tell me?

Mei: …No…

Lexxa: Wow… MOVING ON!

**Anyone: Get an Icee from the new machine and dump it on Scar, then blame it on Rose.**

Rose: Why would you blame it on me?

Lexxa: BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY PAIRINGS BETWEEN YOU AND EDWARD!

Ed: Really?

Lexxa: Yeah.

Hughes: I WANNA DO IT!

Nikolas: Knock yourself out…

Hughes: -gets Icee and dumps it on Scar- ROSE! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?

Scar: IT WAS YOU, HUGHES!

Hughes: I don't know what you're talking about! –walks away whistling-

Scar: GET BACK HERE!

Lexxa: While they settle that, let's go on to the next dare!

**Scar: Blow up Rose, because she dumped an Icee on you!**

Hughes: See? It really was her!

Lexxa: -chanting- BLOW HER UP! BLOW HER UP!

Rose: DON'T HURT ME!

Scar: I'm sorry Rose… I don't want to face Mary-Sue…

Rose: …I understand…

Scar: -blows up Rose-

Lexxa: THAT WAS AWESOME!

Nikolas: Next bunch of dares. They are similar.

**Mei: Act like the Sour Kangaroo. I had to.**

**Alphonse: You are Horton the Elephant.**

**Xiao Mei: You are the Young Kangaroo.**

Edward: You are the Jojo.

Roy and Ling: You are the Wckersham brothers.

Envy: You are Vlad Vladdikof.

Hohenheim: You are the Mayor of Who.

Lexxa: Have them do Horton Hears a Who! :D

Lexxa: Gladly. ALRIGHT, PEOPLE! PLACES!

-one play later-

Al: I just want to know why _I _was the elephant…

Lexxa: Because Doc told you to. Next dare!

**Olivier: Spray paint your sword pink.**

Olivier: No! Pink is too girly!

Lexxa: Just do it… I don't want to have to use my flamer…

Olivier: … -spray paints sword pink-

Armstrong: MY SISTER IS FINALLY TAKING INTRESTS IN GIRL TOPICS!

Olivier: -stomps on Armstrong's foot- Talk about this to anyone and I'll kill you.

Armstrong: Of… course… dear… sister…

Nikolas: Next dare.

**Father: *pepper sprays your eyes* GO AWAY YOU HEARTLESS FREAK!**

Father: Is that really a dare?

Lexxa: Yes. It is clearly daring you to go away. NOW LEAVE!

Father: -leaves-

Ed: IS THAT REALLY ALL WE HAD TO DO?

Lexxa: Pretty much… you're not that bright sometimes, are you…

Nikolas: Next dare.

**Greed: … No comment. Just whack yourself with a chicken Then eat it. Not raw of course. Drop it off at McDonalds. Then come back for your Happy Meal.**

Greed: …Random…

Lexxa: THAT'S THE POINT! Now, HIT YOURSELF WITH A CHICKEN!

Greed: -takes chicken and hits himself with it-

Lexxa: …I'm surprised that you didn't put up a fight.

Greed: Eh, I've always wanted to hit myself with a chicken.

Lexxa: …Really?

Greed: Yeah.

Lexxa: …Okay then… DROP IT OFF A MCDONALDS AND LEAVE!

Greed: -leaves with chicken and comes back without chicken-

Lexxa: GO BACK FOR YOUR HAPPY MEAL!

Greed: -leaves and comes back with Happy Meal-

Lexxa: Why can't it be this easy to control the rest of you?

Ed: BECAUSE WE HAVE SOULS!

Greed: That hurt, man…

Lexxa: … NEXT DARE!

**Miles and Buccaneer: Go work for Mustang for a while. And make him do his paperwork! XD**

Lexxa: You heard the Doc… GO DO IT!

Miles and Buccaneer: MUSTANG! PAPERWORK! NOW!

Roy: I thought that you were working for me?

Riza: I work for you and tell you to do paperwork.

Roy: … -does paperwork in emo corner-

Lexxa: NEXT DARE!

**All homunculi: … How about you all take a nice vacation to happy land? *sedates them* have fun~**

Lexxa: I like your way of thinking, Doc. HOMUNCULI! IT'S VACATION TIME!

Lust: Where are we going?

Lexxa: Wherever you want. Here's a credit card and passports. Have a blast. *winks at Doc*

Greed: YEAH!

-at the airport-

Envy: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS CARD DOESN'T HAVE ANY MONEY ON IT?

Lexxa: Seems like you'll be spending your vacation in Mary-Sue Land!

Homunculi: NOOOOO!

Lexxa: -sends them to the Land of Mary-Sues- HAVE FUN!

Nikolas: Final dare.

**Everyone: Sing me a song. Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Seussical Musical, sing.**

Everyone: -starts singing-

Lexxa: Wow… I think that's the most cooperation that I've gotten out of these people!

Nikolas: Remember to review!

Lexxa: You have no idea how happy I am that I'm able to put up five chapters a day because of all the reviews! Every day I rush home from school just to see if I got any reviews! THANK YOU SO MUCH TO ALL REVIEWERS!

Nikolas: Farewell.


	12. Suits and Forced Friends

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Icee, anyone?

Everyone: -raises hand-

Nikolas: -passes out Icees-

Lexxa: This chapter's reviewer is xxDangerousPiexx. Oh, and by the way, your penname is awesome.

Nikolas: -nods-

Lexxa: First dare!

**Riza, I'm sorry but I dare you to dress in a suit and tie.**

Riza: I SWEAR THAT PEOPLE ARE ADDICTED TO ME DRESSING UP!

Lexxa: Yes. Yes they are.

Riza: -saunters off into room to change-

Roy: I bet she'll look hot.

Lexxa: …Roy, you're a pervert.

Roy: Why thank you!

Riza: -walks out in suit and tie- There. I'm going to change _now_.

Lexxa: Fine. You served your purpose. –evil grin-

Riza: -shocked face-

Nikolas: Last dare.

**Lexxa, I dare you to hang-out with the Mary-Sue for one day. **

Lexxa: …

Ed: HA!

Lexxa: Shut up before I become a member of the Miniskirt Army.

Ed: …

Lexxa: Okay then… Mary-Sue!

Mary-Sue: Yes?

Lexxa: Come on. We're going to hang out.

Mary-Sue: YAY! Where are we going?

Lexxa: To pet the horses that Roy had to become friends with.

Mary-Sue and Lexxa: -walk into room-

-24 hours later-

Mary-Sue and Lexxa: -walk out of room-

Lexxa: -giggling like a mad person-

Ed: SHE'S BEEN POSESSED! NIKOLAS! DO SOMETHING!

Nikolas: -closes eyes-

Lexxa: -stops giggling- -collapses-

Nikolas: She'll be okay, she just needs to be kept away from all Mary-Sues.

Mary-Sue: But I'm okay, right?

Everyone: -evil glare-

Nikolas: Since I'm the co-host, I have majority over you. YOU ARE BANISHED TO YOUR CLOSET, DEMON!

Mary-Sue: -goes into closet-

Nikolas: Since she can't say it, please review.


	13. Hugs and Palm Tree Hair

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom! This chapter's dares are provided by everyone's favorite kind of pie, xxDangerousPiexx!

Ed: Glad to see that you've recovered.

Lexxa: Thank you! And thank _you_, Nikolas! You saved my life!

Nikolas: No problem.

Lexxa: First dare!

**My sweet, sweet Alphonse…I dare you to dress up like a kitty cat.**

Al: YAY!

Lexxa: You can change in that room over there.

Al: -walks into room-

Ed: …You know, your reviewers actually _are_ kinda awesome when they're not daring me to do stupid stuff…

Lexxa: YOU ADMIT IT!

Ed: …

Al: -comes out of room dressed kitty cat-

Lexxa: Good Alphonse. You can change now.

Al: NO! I wanna stay like this…

Lexxa: …Okay…

Nikolas: Next dare.

**Scar, I dare you to give a hug to everyone, including Mary-Sue.**

Scar: Must I hug that demon?

Lexxa: Yes.

Scar: -hugs everyone-

Nikolas: Now was that so bad?

Scar: Yes. It was torturous.

Lexxa: …Over-exaggerator…

Nikolas: Final dare.

**Envy, I dare you to cut off all of you're palm tree hair.**

Lexxa: CUT OFF YOUR HAIR!

Envy: NO! MY PRECIOUS!

Lexxa: …Really dude?

Envy: Yes. Really.

Lexxa: Fine. TROLL, GO!

Envy: NOOOO! –falls to the ground- The… pain…

Lexxa: NOW CUT OFF YOUR HAIR!

Envy: JUST TURN IT OFF!

Lexxa: Oh, now it's just Nikolas having some fun!

Envy: I'LL DO THE DARE! JUST MAKE IT GO AWAY!

Lexxa: Nikolas, we're getting him to cooperate. CHILL THE MIND ATTACKS!

Nikolas: Very well.

Envy: -takes scissors and cuts hair- It's gone… It's all gone…

Ed: Hey, Baldy!

Envy: WHO ARE YOU CALLING BALDY?

Lexxa: You. Now, that's all for this chapter! Thank you everyone who's reviewed so far and keep them coming!

Nikolas: This is quite enjoyable.

Lexxa: See? Even Nikolas likes it!

Nikolas: Until next time.


	14. Riza Taunting and Chicken Dancing

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom! Before we get into the dares that Doc sent me (Doc, you're AMAZING!), I just talked to Andromeda and I have the results of the dates!

Roy and Havoc: -hold breath-

Lexxa: They both passed! But, Roy, you barely passed. Work on your people skills!

Roy: No!

Nikolas: -steps forward-

Roy: -quivering- Okay… okay…

Lexxa: Now, Havoc, Fan said that you were awesome. Good job!

Havoc: HA! TAKE THAT, MUSTANG!

Roy: IT'S NOT A CONTEST!

Lexxa: It could be…

Nikolas: Why don't we get into the dares?

**Lexxa: I'm on Resembool Rangers, because Ed's awesome. And you're welcome. Icee Machines are truly a gift from God.**

Ed: …So I have two crazies on my side?

Lexxa: -dumps Icee on Ed- DON'T CALL HER CRAZY! Me, on the other hand… -goes a little cross eyed-

Al: …Her eyes aren't pointing in the same direction…

Scar: -runs up to Lexxa- YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Lexxa: -makes evil monster face- RAWR!

Scar: -runs into bathroom-

Lexxa: And, Doc, you're right… THEY ARE A GIFT FROM THE HEAVENS!

Nikolas: Let's move on, shall we?

**Kimblee: *pays for damages* Now go have fun! *whispers* in a hula skirt.**

Kimblee: What was that last part? I didn't hear it…

Lexxa: Go in that room and you'll find out! –points to room-

Kimblee: -walks into room- -comes out in hula skirt- I LOVE THIS FASHION!

Lexxa: …Really?

Kimblee: Yeah! Skirts are so comfortable!

Nikolas: …

Lexxa: Okay then… GO HAVE FUN!

Kimblee: -skips out of room to outside world-

Lexxa: Doc… I think we just learned a little something about our dear Kimblee…

Nikolas: …Can we move on?

Lexxa: …Sure…

**Riza: *eats the m&ms* Want some?**

Riza: NO I DO NOT WANT SOME!

Lexxa: Chill… be like a turtle…

Riza: …What?

Lexxa: Turtles are so chill! They're just like, hey, I'm gonna eat some lettuce now…

Nikolas: …I think we're starting to lose her…

Ed: IT MUST BE A SIDE EFFECT OF OVER EXPOSURE TO MARY-SUE!

Mary-Sue: Did someone call me?

Everyone: NO!

Mary-Sue: -sulks back into closet-

Lexxa: Last dare!

**Roy: I'm dressing YOU up. Pretty princess, or a chicken. Take your pick. If you do pretty princess, I will let you have a bullet candy. (it's an actual bullet) If you choose chicken, you must do the chicken dance.**

Lexxa: PICK YOUR POISON TIME!

Roy: Please, please don't let this be anything like the horses…

Lexxa: No.

Roy: Well… in that case… CHICKEN!

Lexxa: Really?

Roy: -nods-

Nikolas: Reasoning?

Roy: Well, chickens are awesome.

Lexxa: …Okay then…

Nikolas: -points to room-

Roy: -skips happily into room and comes out in chicken costume- I DON'T WANNA BE A CHICKEN I DON'T WANNA BE A DUCK SO KISS MY BUTT! –claps three times-

Everyone: …

Lexxa: You can change…

Roy: NO!

Nikolas: Please… for the love of God… change…

Roy: …Fine… -stomps off into room to change-

Lexxa: …Well we learned a lot about our favorite characters this chapter…

Roy: -walks out of room and into emo corner-

Lexxa: -walks over to Roy and comfort pats his head-

Nikolas: Please review.

Lexxa: I LOVE IT WHEN I GET REVIEWS! It makes me so happy!

Roy: I loved that chicken costume…

Lexxa: …Sure you did, Roy. Sure you did…


	15. Chicken Man and Dr Suess

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Does it get annoying to have to introduce it every time?

Lexxa: Nope!

Ed: Let me guess… Doc?

Lexxa: Good boy! –gives cookie-

Roy: Do I get a cookie?

Lexxa: No.

Roy: Aw…

Lexxa: So, yeah, since Doc is made of awesome, she reviewed again! Here is the first thingy!

**Roy: If you loved that costume so much, then here you go. *gives Roy a chicken* you may put it on your head and pretend that you are Chicken Man! Leader of the chicken!**

Roy: AWESOME! –puts live chicken on head-

Chicken: -tries to get off head-

Roy: NO! AS CHICKEN MAN, LEADER OF THE CHICKEN, I COMMAND YOU TO STAY ON MY HEAD!

Chicken: -jumps off head and falls-

Lexxa: …Poor chicken.

Nikolas: Roy, keep an eye on your chicken. Make sure it doesn't accidentally wander into the kitchen…

Roy: DON'T YOU DARE HARM MY CHICKEN SUBJECT!

Lexxa: …I think that Roy lost some of his mind when he got locked away with the horses…

Nikolas: Next thing.

**Edward: I am very crazy, but if you call me annoying, I will sic Gluttony and Ling on you. And the rabid cat. *holds up rabid cat***

**Cat: *foaming at the mouth and snarling***

Ed: …

Al: KITTY!

Ed: NOT THIS AGAIN! LEAVE THE CAT ALONE!

Lexxa: Don't hurt it's feelings, Edward! Alphonse, just hug the kitty…

Nikolas: …

Lexxa: Oh, yeah… He wasn't here… I'll fill him in later.

Nikolas: Next thing.

**Everyone: Does anyone know why their childhood sucked? I do. It's because you people didn't read Dr. Seuss books! Now read them and make your lives better!**

Lexxa: DR. SEUSS IS MY FAVORITE POET EVER!

Everyone: …Who's Dr. Seuss?

Lexxa: …You are all a sad bunch… GO INTO THE ROOM AND READ ALL OF HIS BOOKS! –points to room-

Everyone: -files into room-

-five hours later-

Riza: …

Roy: I AM SAM! SAM I AM!

Ed: ONE FISH, TWO FISH, RED FISH, BLUE FISH!

Lexxa: …I think we broke them…

Nikolas: Indeed.

Lexxa: NEXT!

**Nina and Elicia: I'm exposing you two balls of sunshine to the magic of Disney World! All expenses paid, on me. I have nothing else to do with my money.**

Lexxa: …You must be rich or something…

Nina and Elicia: DISNEY WORLD!

Lexxa: Okay, so you guys go have fun!

Nina and Elicia: -goes to Disney World-

Hughes and Tucker: HAVE FUN!

Everyone: SHUT UP, TUCKER! WE STILL HATE YOU!

Tucker: But that's all in the past…

Lexxa: We don't care. You're responsible for killing Nina. YOU, SIR, ARE A JACKWAGON!

Tucker: What's a jackwagon?

Lexxa: Geico commercial…

Nikolas: …Next?

Lexxa: Next.

**Ling: I will NOT buy food for you. End of discussion. That goes for you too, Gluttony.**

Ling: No problem! I'll just get Ed to buy me food!

Ed: NO WAY IN HELL!

Ling: -sheepishly hands over room service bill-

Ed: LING! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Lexxa: No you're not! We're moving on!

**Kimblee: Since you liked the skirt so much, here, have mine. I prefer pants.**

Kimblee: WOO HOO! –puts on skirt-

Everyone: …

Kimblee: I FEEL SO FREE!

Lexxa: …Glad to hear that…

Nikolas: …He would do well in Scotland…

Lexxa: Why, yes. Yes he would…

Kimblee: SKIRT POWERS!

Roy: Please don't tell me that he joined my Miniskirt Army…

Lexxa: I'm not sure…

Kimblee: -runs around room in skirt-

Nikolas: …Did someone give him chocolate?

Lexxa: I don't think so… wait, what happened to my Fundraising Chocolate?

Ed: Uh oh…

Lexxa: DID YOU EAT MY CHOCOLATE?

Kimblee: …No…

Lexxa: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Kimblee: BUT IT WAS SO GOOD!

Lexxa: I DON'T CARE! WHERE AM I GOING TO GET THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT?

Kimblee: …

Nikolas: While Lexxa kills Kimblee, I will appoint Ed to beg for reviews.

Ed: What?

Nikolas: Beg for reviews.

Ed: …Review…

Nikolas: I didn't mean say the word review. I meant beg for them.

Ed: …PLEASE REVIEW! LEXXA LOVES YOUR REVIEWS!

Nikolas: Better. And Lexxa was going to say that you can request who introduces the show and who begs for reviews now. If you don't then the default will be either Lexxa or me. Until next chapter!


	16. Chicken Murdering and Kitty Dress Up

Nikolas: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom.

Lexxa: -faking British accent- Jolly good show.

Ed: …What?

Lexxa: -regular accent- Nothing…

Winry: …Why British?

Lexxa: Because… I wanted to be British… Anyway! This chapter's reviewer is from xxDangerousPiexx!

Al: Did anyone else notice that so far we've only gotten four different reviewers?

Lexxa: Well, that just makes the people who review all the more awesome.

Nikolas: Shall we start?

Lexxa: Yes we shall.

**Roy, I am joining the Miniskirt army. BUT, before I do, I dare you to kill a chicken…:D**

Roy: NO! NOT ONE OF MY FAITHFUL FOLLOWERS!

Chickens: -start walking away from Roy-

Roy: DON'T ABANDON ME!

Lexxa: Just kill one of them. I want dinner.

Roy: -shocked look- HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK OF EATING A CHICKEN!

Lexxa: Dude, people do it all the time. It's not like eating a hamster, or anything.

Roy: …But hamsters are delicious…

Everyone: …

Lexxa: …Just kill the chicken…

Roy: ...Fine… -walks over to a chicken and snaps his fingers-

Chicken: -catches on fire-

Everyone: NOT LIKE THAT!

Roy: …But I like burning things…

Lexxa: …Next?

Nikolas: …Yeah…

**Edward, I dare you to dress up like a kitty cat. I made Al do it so it's only fair that you have to as well.**

Lexxa: Isn't there fanart with this kind of stuff?

Nikolas: I think so…

Ed: What's fanart?

Lexxa: It's art done by the fans.

Ed: …Like?

Lexxa: Depends. It can be innocent, or it can be yaoi…

Ed: NO YAOI!

Roy: …I still don't know what yaoi is…

Lexxa: Well, then maybe you can ask the reviewers nicely.

Roy: Reviewers, what's yaoi?

Lexxa: Maybe you'll get a response within the next few chapters.

Roy: Yay!

Lexxa: Anyway, Nikolas! Force Edward into the kitty costume!

Nikolas: Okay. –drags Ed into room-

Ed: -comes out of room in kitty costume- Can I change?

Lexxa: No. Alphonse stayed in it the whole time, so you must stay in it the whole time.

Ed: What?

Lexxa: Quit complaining before I teleport you to the Land of Sues.

Ed: …I'll be good.

Nikolas: Last one.

**Winry, you haven't got many dares. I dare you to say you "hate auto-mail with all your soul".**

Lexxa: I like that dare…

Winry: Do you hate me or something?

Lexxa: …Well I'm a Ranger, so it's only natural. SAY THAT YOU HATE AUTOMAIL!

Winry: I… hate automail with all my soul…

Lexxa: Good girly.

Winry: -takes out wrench-

Lexxa: -takes out flamer- Throw the wrench and I'll use the flamer.

Winry: -puts down wrench-

Nikolas: Until next time, people of the fanfiction world.

Lexxa: And why don't we see what we can do with Roy's lack of knowledge when it comes to yaoi… -winks-

Nikolas: In short,

Lexxa: REVIEW!


	17. Awesomesauce and Quotes

Lexxa: Welcome back to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Only one dare today.

Roy: Is it that pie girl again?

Lexxa: Nope! Doc!

Nikolas: And the reason why it's only one dare is because she was really tired.

Lexxa: But, before we get into the dare, I'd like to comment on something in her review.

**XD You are truly made of awesomesauce.**

Lexxa: Funny that you said that because at school I'm in NJHS (National Junior Honor Society) and we have t-shirts. On the back of them we had to have a nickname, but I couldn't think of one. I asked the person who was in charge of taking down the names and she then deemed me Awesomesause. I know, not spelled the same, but still. Irony!

Nikolas: That was a long comment.

Lexxa: Yes it was. THE DARE!

**Winry: I'm introducing you the Hetalia.**

Lexxa: Can you introduce it to me, too? I've really been meaning to watch it!

Winry: What's Hetalia?

Lexxa: An anime where the people are personifications of countries.

Nikolas: Should we lock her in a room and force her to watch all of the episodes?

Lexxa: I think we shall… I'll watch them on my own time later.

Winry: What? How did we take something so innocent and turn it into something where I'm essentially being held hostage?

Lexxa: Think about. What show are you on right now?

Winry: …Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom…

Lexxa: And what do we do here?

Winry: …Torture people…

Lexxa: Good girl.

Ed: THIS IS MY ONLY LINE!

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Lexxa: Must you say that all the time?

Scar: …You do…

Lexxa: …How did you know that?

Scar: Your brother told me.

Lexxa: Yeah… he hates it when I say that…

Nikolas: Since this chapter was so short, shall we do some quotes from the outtakes?

Lexxa: That's a great idea!

**Scar: We're getting close.  
Ed: You can feel it too, huh.  
Riza: You guys can sense their presence?  
Ed: No. I'm a man. I'm good with directions.**

**Winry: Hey, Ling. How you doin'?  
Greed: Wha?**

**Al: I've been thinking  
Ed: Me, too. Let's bring Mom back.**

**Al: How about I push you off this roof and break the arm you just got back?  
Ed: Yeah…**

**Greed: You can say he's claimed the power of God for himself. Now would you please put on a fucking shirt.  
Armstrong: -sad face-**

**Young Winry: Grandma said she's making stew tonight!  
Young Al: Fuck yeah!  
Young Ed: Alright.**

**Scar: Chimeras, huh? Aw shit.**

**Scar: Chimeras, huh? Fucking sweet.**

**Hohenheim: So you're the one in charge? Then how about leaning over here and giving me a kissy?  
Greed: Sure!**

**Izumi: God, I'm sorry. You must find this dull, being a soldier and all.  
Armstrong: Quite the contrary. The homunculi refer to those unfortunate enough to have unfortunately unfortunately have unfolded the portal of… happiness… whatever the fuck it was…**

**Mustang: I know it's a little late, but congratulations on heading the Armstrong family. –hands flowers-  
Olivier: -takes flowers- Flowers suck ass.**

**Izumi: Stand back a few steps.  
Olivier: Then it's time for us to part ways.  
Izumi: Huh?  
Olivier: We're staying. We can't turn our backs on this fight now.  
Armstrong: We're on a pathway leading directly to the heart of the enemy. We didn't come all this way just to stop the chance to pass up my balls in the hallway!**

**Father: Let's talk for a moment. How are you able to use your powers?  
Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!  
Father: Hmm…**

**Armstrong: Let's look at the door.  
Everyone: -looks at the door-**

**Truth: So, your soul has entered you, huh. But will he be coming back for you?  
Al: He won't. That's the end.**

**Scar: I don't need a name. Call me anything.  
Olivier: Fair enough. Now I'm going to go take the longest, hottest fucking bath in the whole world.**

**Scar: But when I saw the enormity of what was at stake and what I could do, I relented. I bought that Shake Weight you see on TV. TEN MINUTES A DAY, EVERY DAY!**

Lexxa: And that's all I'm showing for now! Remember to review!


	18. Old Brothers and Picture Burning

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: MY MOMMY'S HERE!

Lexxa: …Chill, dude…

Ed: What does he mean his mommy?

Lexxa: ANDROMEDA!

Al: …She's his mommy?

Lexxa: Not exactly… but she _is _his creator… and Andromeda, I'M SORRY! I'm just not that familiar with how he should act… but I'll make sure he's meaner too. I just really wanted him to call you Mommy.

Nikolas: But she _is_ my Mommy…

Lexxa: Sure she is… FIRST DARE!

**I dare Envy to turn into Nicola (Niks older brother, watch out, Nik will be ready to murder him!xD)**

Envy: What does he look like?

Lexxa: -shows picture-

Envy: -turns into Nicola-

Nikolas: NICOLA! –tries to kill Nicola-

Lexxa: Somebody has anger issues…

Envy: IEEEE! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME! LET ME CHANGE BACK!

Lexxa: No way! I'm enjoying this way too much!

Ed: I don't think that Envy's supposed to bend that way…

Lexxa: Moving on!

**I dare Hughes to burn his pictures.**

Hughes: MY PRECIOUS! –crawls into corner with flames in his eyes- -huddles over pictures and swats with imaginary claws-

Lexxa: …Do it or Roy burns your real family.

Hughes: NO! –burns pictures- DON'T HURT MY GRACIA OR ELICIA!

Lexxa: Envy! Turn back! I need you for this last one!

Envy: -turns back- What do you mean?

Nikolas: WHERE DID HE GO?

Lexxa: …Chill… Become one with your inner turtle…

Ed: Not this analogy again!

Lexxa: Just eat some lettuce, man!

Nikolas: …No thank you…

Lexxa: Final dare!

**I dare everyone to try out for color guard and put on a half-time performance**

Lexxa: Yay color guard!

Ed: What's color guard?

Lexxa: The people who spin flags.

Everyone: …

Lexxa: INTO THE ROOM WHERE I KEEP THE FLAGS!

Everyone: -goes into room-

-three hours later-

Everyone: -comes out with sparkly outfits and golden flags-

Lexxa: THIS IS THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DARE SHOW OF DOOM FIRST EVER COLOR GUARD ROUTINE!

Everyone: -does color guard routine-

Lexxa: Good job, guys!

Nikolas: Review!

Lexxa: Oh! An exclamation point! I'm finally turning him to the hyper side!

Nikolas: …

Lexxa: But, yeah, review!


	19. Yaoi and Teddy Bears

Nikolas: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Lexxa: Yay exclamation points!

Nikolas: Chill…

Lexxa: …I think he's becoming like me… SNAP OUT OF IT! I NEED TO USE YOU TO TORTURE THEM! YOU CAN'T GET SOFT ON ME NOW!

Nikolas: …

Lexxa: This chapter is brought to you by xxDangerousPiexx for all of your Dangerous Pie needs.

Nikolas: …Why?

Lexxa: I don't know… FIRST UP!

**Roy, Yaoi is hot. You would enjoy it. ;D That's all I'm saying…**

Roy: Now I really want to know what yaoi is…

Lexxa: Fine! Go into that room and read everything on the computer!

Roy: -prances happily into room-

Lexxa: While he does that…

Nikolas: NEXT!

Lexxa: …All caps…

**Scar, I dare you to say that you love teddy bears.**

Scar: Gladly. I LOVE TEDDY BEARS!

Lexxa: …Really?

Scar: Yes.

Lexxa: Why?

Scar: Because they're awesome.

Nikolas: …I was expecting a bit more badass from someone who exploded faces…

Lexxa: Yeah, but no matter how badass you think you are, if a little kid hands you a ringing toy phone, you're going to answer it.

Nikolas: Yes. That is the story of my life…

Lexxa: Next!

***Gives Al a kitty cat* Enjoy. That's all I gotta say.**

Al: KITTY!

Nikolas: …I think he would answer the phone no matter who gave it to him…

Lexxa: Yes. Because he's awesome like that.

Nikolas: NEXT!

Lexxa: …I'm so proud of you!

**Lexxa, I dare you to pretend to be a Mary-Sue for a day.**

Lexxa: …Where do you come up with these?

Nikolas: Become a Mary-Sue!

Lexxa: -looks at Nikolas- You've changed since Andromeda was here…

Nikolas: MOMMY!

Lexxa: -uses Little-Miss-Perfect voice- Oh, Edward!

Ed: Aw, hell…

Lexxa: Hello, Ed! I missed you so much!

Nikolas: While they do…that… let's move on.

**Edward, I dare you to cover yourself with glitter and say "I'm Edward Cullen."**

Ed: But I'm way more sexy than him…

Lexxa: Yes you are…

Ed: I'LL DO IT IF IT GETS ME AWAY FROM HER!

Lexxa: But Edward-Poo…

Ed: PLEASE! –flings himself to Nikolas's feet- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PROTECT ME!

Nikolas: …Sure… but only if you do the dare.

Ed: I'LL DO ANYTING! –grabs can of sparkles and dumps it on himself- I'M EDWARD CULLEN!

Lexxa: …Meanie… OH ALPHONSE!

Ed: NO! NOT AL! HE'S JUST A BOY!

Lexxa: Hello, Alphonse!

Al: …Hey?

Lexxa: You're so nice!

Al: …Okay?

Ed: DON'T YOU POISON HIM!

Lexxa: Oh, Eddy-Poo, you're so ridiculous! What can _I_ do to him that'll harm him?

Al: …

Ed: DON'T FALL FOR IT, AL! STRANGER DANGER TIME! STRANGER DANGER!

Al: …But she isn't a stranger…

Ed: JUST RUN AWAY!

Nikolas: And that's all the time we have!

Lexxa: What? Can I still play with my little Alphonse?

Nikolas: …xxDangerousPiexx, YOU HAVE CREATED A MONSTER!

Lexxa: I'm not a monster, am I Alphonse?

Ed: IT'S A TRAP! DON'T ANSWER!

Nikolas: REVIEW!

Roy: THE WIND!


	20. Pasta and the Flying Mint Bunny

Nikolas: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Lexxa: Today's reviewer is petaltailify97, and might I just say, creative screen name!

Nikolas: Pretty awesome. –nods-

Lexxa: And, in response to your first comment, I try to update as soon as I get a review. I think that it makes everyone happier that way.

Nikolas: Including her because she's the kind of freak who locks herself in her room just to write…

Lexxa: Yep!

Ed: My first line!

Lexxa: …Okay then…

Nikolas: First up!

**I dare Roy,Riza,and Hughes to go out in public for 3 hours with Roy holding a chicken screaming the word PASTA! with Riza following behind him in a tomato costume and Hughes being drunk from too much vodka with nothing on but an apron and necktie carrying photos of Elicia dressed as the flying mint bunny!**

Lexxa: …Were you on something?

Nikolas: Nevertheless, it is still a pretty awesome dare…

Lexxa: Indeed…

Roy: MY CHICKEN!

Lexxa: No! You're supposed to yell _pasta_!

Roy: Oh… PASTA!

Lexxa: But not yet! First we need Riza and Hughes to change!

Hughes: …I don't wanna wear that… What if my precious Elicia sees me like that?

Lexxa: We will laugh our asses off.

Hughes: …

Riza: Why a tomato?

Lexxa: Because petaltailify97 told you to.

Nikolas: Don't we need a picture of Elicia dressed as the flying mint bunny for this?

Lexxa: You're right! Hughes! Give me your camera!

Hughes: -hands over camera-

Lexxa: Elicia! Can you come here for a moment?

Elicia: Hello!

Lexxa: -holds out costume- I wanna see if this costume fits! Can you try it on for me?

Elicia: Okay! –runs off into room with costume-

Hughes: Thanks for keeping her blind to this situation…

Nikolas: Well, we don't want any lawsuits on our hands…

Hughes: !

Elicia: -comes out dressed as the flying mint bunny-

Lexxa: You look so pretty! Let me take a picture!

Elicia: -starts giggling while Lexxa takes pictures-

Lexxa: Do you wanna change?

Elicia: No! I'm the flying mint bunny! Weeee! –starts running around the room-

Lexxa: …Must…not…be…like…Hughes…

Nikolas: Resistance is key!

Ed: Can we move on now?

Lexxa: -stares at Ed- How are you not tempted by all this cuteness?

Ed: If I can turn down 20 kitties in one day, I can resist Elicia.

Lexxa: …I almost forgot about that… ANYWAY! Riza! Wear the tomato costume!

Riza: … -goes into room-

Lexxa: HUGHES! Change into this while Al takes all small children to another room!

Hughes: -walks into different room-

Al: …

Lexxa: Hurry! Before Hughes gets out!

Al: Right! –takes Elicia and Nina to yet another room-

Lexxa: Okay… now to print the pictures… -goes to computer and prints out pictures-

Nikolas: I think that we have all the preparations besides… Roy! Grab one of your chicken subjects!

Roy: Yes! –grabs a chicken at random- COME WITH ME, MY LITTLE CHICKEN! I WILL KEEP YOU SAFE AND AWAY FROM HARM! TRUST ME!

Chicken: -starts pecking head-

Roy: Yes!

Lexxa: …I swear he's only been insane since the mustang incident…

Roy: Yes!

Everyone: …

Riza: -comes out dressed as tomato- There. Let's just get it over with.

Lexxa: No! We must wait for Hughes!

Nikolas: …Where is he… He should've been out already…

Lexxa: …I don't know… SCAR! Go see what's taking Hughes so long!

Scar: -walks up to door- YOUR DOOR EXPLODES!

Lexxa: …Wrong room…

Scar: …Oh… -walks up to next room- YOUR OTHER DOOR EXPLODES!

Hughes: -jumps out from behind the door to hide behind wall-

Lexxa: We know that you're dressed, so just come out!

Hughes: No! I look…disturbing…

Lexxa: Just get out here already! We need to get this show on the road! …Literally…

Hughes: -cautiously steps out of room-

Everyone: -tries to hold back laughter-

Gracia: -gasps-

Hughes: I'M SO SORRY, GRACIA! I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT!

Lexxa: Well, you had to do it.

Nikolas: Gracia, let me just tell you that this does not say anything about him as a person.

Gracia: -nods-

Lexxa: Hughes! Vodka! Drink!

Hughes: … -drinks vodka-

Lexxa: …I wonder how long it's going to take for him to get drunk…

Hughes: -already drunk- W-where am I? AH! THE CHICKEN FROM MY DREAMS! IT'S GOING TO EAT ME!

Lexxa: …Because that's what chickens do…

Hughes: L-let's go…

Lexxa: Wait! Take these pictures!

Hughes: -takes pictures- AH! THE FLYING MINT BUNNY IS COMING TO GET ME!

Lexxa: …Sure…

Nikolas: Leave! Go out into the town!

Roy, Riza, and Hughes: -go into town-

Roy: PASTA!

Riza: …Kill me now…

Hughes: AH! I LOST MY THUMB!

Riza: -uncurls Hughes' thumb-

Hughes: IT'S FRIGGEN MAGIC! WITCHCRAFT!

Riza: …It's going to be a long three hours…

Roy: PASTA!

-three hours later-

Roy, Riza, and Hughes: -walk back into building-

Lexxa: So how was the walk?

Riza: …You would be dead if Doc hadn't exchanged my bullets for m&ms…

Lexxa: …Can I have some?

Riza: No.

Lexxa: …Aww…

Nikolas: Next thing!

Lexxa: And, so I don't get sued for plagiarism, or something like that, the stuff in bold are petaltailify97's words.

**Roy's Intro to Yaoi:**

**Winry: -gets out of room from watching non-stop Hetalia and is transformed  
into a USUK fangirl.-**

Ed & Al: So, how was it?

Roy: Will somebody just tell me what yaoi is! I MUST KNOW!

Winry: Shut up you! Trust me, you'll know what it is in just a moment -evil  
grin towards Ed and Al- Here! You two! -Pulls out America and England cosplay  
and a magic marker-

**I dare you to wear these, and Ed,draw a bunch of lines on your forehead for  
Iggy's eyebrows! Then, imitate what you see in this photograph here!-takes out  
very inimate pic of USUK Yaoi and laughs menacingly-**

Ed: EEEWWWW! NO WAY IN HELL! You sick-minded freak! What has that show done to  
you!

Al: ...

Ed: AL! Aren't you gonna say something!

Al: Well...I...

Ed: Don't tell me you would have been okay with doing that!

Roy:-grabs the photo and saves Al from responding- AAAUUUGHHH! SO THIS IS WHAT  
YAOI IS? MY EYES CANNOT UNSEE WHAT I HAVE JUST SAW!-runs and sulks in emo  
corner with a chicken-

Lexxa: HEY! Weren't you paying attention at the beginning! I clearly stated  
that there was to be ABSOLUTELY NO YAOI on this show!It was the very first  
rule!

Winry:-makes a pouty face- Aww, can't you just make an exception?

Lexxa: NO MEANS NO! C'mon,back me up,Nikolas!

Nikolas:-makes an evil fiery death stare- NO YAOI.

Winry: -Joins Roy in corner-

Lexxa: -laughing her ass off- That…was…GREAT!

Ed: …I will not participate in that activity…

Al: …

Lexxa: And, since this was really awesome, and I did ask for people to send in how Roy gets introduced to yaoi, I allow it.

Nikolas: I liked that fiery death stare…

Lexxa: You know, petaltailify97, you are awesome at this… -runs to computer to see if petaltailify97 has written anything- You haven't? Well, you would be really awesome if you had!

Nikolas: -nods-

Lexxa: So, you guys know by now. Review.

Nikolas: You guys are the ones writing these chapters.

Lexxa: Quite literally. All that I do is do exactly what the dare says, maybe a little randomness sprinkled in between, and you have your chapter!

Nikolas: Well, petaltailify97 really _did_ write a part of this chapter…

Lexxa: But it was awesome!

Nikolas: The wind!

Lexxa: …Don't turn into Roy…

Roy: MY CHICKEN FAMILY, OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!

Lexxa: …I don't wanna know…

Ed: Review!


	21. Girl Scout Cookies and Brother Murders

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Today's reviewer is Doc.

Lexxa: Because Doc is amazingness.

**Lexxa: I shall introduce you to Hetalia too.**

Lexxa: Yay! Nikolas, take over while I watch it!

Nikolas: Sure.

Lexxa: -runs off into room-

Nikolas: Now everybody shut up! I'm running the show, and things are going to be different. –cracks knuckles-

Ed: …This is how he really acts?

Nikolas: EDWARD! DID I NOT JUST COMMAND YOU TO SHUT UP?

Lexxa: -poking head out of room- NIKOLAS! YOU'RE BEING LOUDER THAN THEM! I CAN BARELY HEAR HETALIA! NOW SHUT UP BEFORE I HAVE TO COME OUT HERE AGAIN!

Everyone: …

Nikolas: First dare.

**Gluttony: Climb a tree. Stay there. See how long it lasts.**

Nikolas: GLUTTONY!

Gluttony: …I don't like this scary man…

Nikolas: Climb the tree!

Gluttony: -climbs tree-

Nikolas: Edward! Time this!

Ed: -takes out stopwatch-

-three seconds later-

Tree: -breaks-

Gluttony: -falls-

Nikolas: TIME!

Ed: Three point twenty-six seconds.

Nikolas: Pitiful…

Lexxa: -comes out of room-

Al: You're done already?

Lexxa: No, the projector's on the fritz, so I'll just have to watch it a little later.

Nikolas: …

Lexxa: Oh, and Nikolas, -slaps- HOW DARE YOU BE MEAN TO MY CHARACTERS!

Nikolas: …Ow…

Lexxa: Next dare!

**Everyone: I brought GIRL SCOUT COOKIES! You may all feast on the deliciousness~**

Lexxa: But not you, Nikolas!

Nikolas: …Aw…

Lexxa: -walks everyone to a room fully stocked with Girl Scout Cookies-ENJOY!

Everyone: -eats a ton of cookies-

Lexxa: Yay! Next dare!

**Nikolas: Get on a sugar high. I wanna see what happens~**

Nikolas: -eats a ton of sugar-

Lexxa: And now we wait…

Nikolas: DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, MY LITTLE TACO BEAR!

Lexxa: …Taco bear?

Nikolas: I'M OFF TO NARNIA!

Lexxa: …Bye?

Nikolas: -jumps into closet- OW!

Lexxa: What happened?

Nikolas: -holds up shoe- IT ATTACKED ME!

Ed: …I'm scared…

Everyone else: -nods in agreement-

Nikolas: EAT TACO PASTE, VILLIAN!

Lexxa: What's taco paste?

Al: …I don't wanna know…

Lexxa: …Moving on…

**Envy: I realiza that I forgot about a few dogs, so I'll have them pee on you now. **

Envy: What?

Lexxa: Come here, doggies!

Envy: …Palm tree form?

Lexxa: No!

Dogs: -pee on Envy in usual form-

Envy: Why?

Lexxa: Because it's funny. Moving on!

Nikolas: DON'T EAT MY BURRITO, MR. BUNNY!

Lexxa: …This is your doing, Doc…

**Lust: I wanna know, how many guys you have killed or dated. Then go out with my brother and kill him, please? Just for the chapter? BEcause I know he'll (unfortunately) come back…**

Lust: Too many to count. But, if I had to guess… three hundred.

Lexxa: Dang, girl…

Lust: And, sure I'll go out with your brother. Then kill him. No problem.

Lexxa: Have fun on your date!

Lust: -leaves-

Nikolas: MILK WAS A GENUIS IDEA!

Ed: NO WAY! IT'S JUST WHITE LIQUID SECRETED FROM A COW!

Lexxa: Gather 'round children, because that last comment made me think of a story.

Everyone: -sits around Lexxa-

Lexxa: So, one day, I decided to post on Facebook the fact that whenever I drink milk, I think of Ed's reasoning for hating milk, i.e., Who wants to drink white liquid secreted from a cow. My friend, who I now name HyperChick, was eating cereal when she saw my status. Needless to say, she refuses to eat cereal now.

Everyone: …

Lexxa: So, review! And, for you people who like my weirdo stories, you can friend me on Facebook as Zoey Anderson (fake name, and Facebook wouldn't accept Lexxa) with the picture of a stick figure and a caption that says, "Stand back, I'm going to try science" and you may hear more stories!


	22. Color Guard and Hunger Games

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Lexxa, why don't you tell all the people why you were pretty much dormant today?

Lexxa: Yes! That would be great if they knew! So, since tomorrow is Easter, my parents dragged me and my brother off to see my grandmother!

Nikolas: With the best intentions, of course.

Lexxa: Yep! And, Nikolas, I think that you'll like our reviewer… -shows paper-

Nikolas: MOMMY!

Lexxa: Yes! It's Andromeda again!

Ed: …She must really like your fanfiction…just like Doc…

Lexxa: Yep! She's really awesome and supportive! Thus, I feel the need to advertise a little!

-cut to commercial-

Announcer: Are you a writer? Do you like RPGs? If so, look no further than the Maze Trials! Yes, the Maze Trials! Created by Andromeda as a cross between the Hunger Games, Percy Jackson, and Maze Runner! If you are interested, then go to .com!

-back to show-

Lexxa: Had to do it!

Nikolas: Yes.

Ed: …Really?

Lexxa: Yes. FIRST DARE!

**that was a lovely routine, but why was it only flags? There's supposed to be dance! And rifles! And sabres! I demand a rerun!**

Lexxa: Okay! Everyone! Back in the room!

Everyone: -grumbles and goes into room-

-one week later-

Everyone: -comes out of room carrying lots of props and wearing sparkly outfits- -does an awesome routine- -you can see what it was based off of here watch?v=8eDaiIeD65g (Andromeda had me include it because she wants to join them)-

Roy: …Never…again…

Al: …Why? Doesn't Andromeda love us?

Lexxa: Of course she does! She's just really obsessed over color guard and wanted you to join the awesomeness!

Nikolas: Next!

**I dare everyone to join in a Hunger Games!:D It must have reaping and all(:**

Ed: Hunger Games?

Lexxa: Yes. Hunger Games. And, to the people reading this at home, the book, not the movie. Even though they're really similar, it's going to be the book.

Nikolas: DISPERSE!

Everyone: -disperses-

Lexxa: Yay! I get to be Effie Trinket!

Nikolas: ..Then who am I?

Lexxa: …Haymitch…

Nikolas: …Do I get to drink then?

Lexxa: No.

Nikolas: Bu-

Lexxa: Just no. REAPING TIME! –reaches into crystal ball and pulls out paper- RIZA HAWKEYE! –reaches in crystal ball and pulls out another paper- LING YAO! –does this for every character-

Everyone: …Now what?

Lexxa: LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!

Everyone: Wha?

-huge trapdoor opens in floor-

Everyone: -lands in the middle of a vast landscape-

Lexxa: BEGIN!

Everyone: Rushes to cornucopia-

Riza: -grabs gun and a lot of amo-

Roy: -grabs ignition cloth gloves-

Scar: -grabs Shake Weight-

Ed: -grabs red coat-

Everyone else: -grabs something that they use on a regular basis-

Lexxa: The Hunger Games have begun! SUSPENSE! Find out who wins next chapter!

Nikolas: I have been told to do the disclaimer… LEXXA DOES NOT OWN ANYTHING MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER, PREVIOUS CHAPTERS, OR FUTURE CHAPTERS TO COME!

Lexxa: REVIEW!


	23. Ice Cream and Bullet Returning

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Welcome back, Doc!

Ed: …Again?

Al: Does Doc not have a life?

Lexxa: NO! I'M SURE THAT DOC HAS A LIFE! It's me who has no life…

Everyone: …

Lexxa: First up!

**How many of you like ice cream? *stolen ice cream truck appears* enjoy~**

Lexxa: I LOVE ICE CREAM! –runs for the truck-

Nikolas: ICE CREAM! –runs towards truck-

Everyone else: …What's ice cream?

Lexxa: -stops dead in her tracks- You…don't…know…what…ice cream is?

Nikolas: WE MUST SHOW THEM THE JOY THAT IS ICE CREAM!

Everyone: … -starts backing away-

Lexxa: COME HITHER!

Everyone: -slowly comes forward-

Lexxa: ROY! YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO EXPERIENCE THESE JOYS!

Roy: WHY ME?

Lexxa: Because you love chickens.

Roy: Well that makes sense. –tries ice cream- …THIS IS AMAZING STUFF!

Ed: …Really? Let me try some. –tries ice cream-… THIS IS THE CHIZZ!

Everyone: -tries ice cream-

Lexxa: And now you're addicted, right?

Everyone: …Yes…

Nikolas: Good! Next thing!

**Roy: So, I messed you up by sending you to the mustangs? Cool~**

Roy: …The terror…

Lexxa: Chill dude. Be like a turtle.

Roy: BUT I HATE TURTLES!

Lexxa: …Then be like a chicken…

Roy: MY CHICKENS!

Nikolas: …Next.

**Riza: Here's your bullets back.**

Riza: ABOUT TIME!

Lexxa: But I can still take them away! –snatches bullets-

Riza: -death glare-

Lexxa: -returns death glare-

Nikolas: …I smell PMS…

Lexxa: NIKOLAS! WHERE DID YOU EVEN LEARN ABOUT THAT?

Nikolas: Well, taking my age into account, it makes sense that I know about this stuff.

Lexxa: …You win this round…

Nikolas: Review!


	24. Ballroom Dancing and Mutism

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Today's excuse for being dormant is Lexxa was helping her dad's friend beat up a concrete porch.

Lexxa: It's not an excuse if it really happened!

Nikolas: Sure…

Lexxa: xxDangerousPiexx, I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T DO YOUR REVIEW YESTERDAY! I just got really tired and I didn't want to make it crap, so here we are!

Nikolas: But, wait, didn't Nameless have another dare?

Lexxa: Why yes she did! It's only one, so I'm going to throw it in here. ATTENTION ALL PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM! ALL CURSING IS HERE BY FROWNED APON AND ANYONE WHO VIOLATES THIS RULE WILL HAVE TO SUBMIT A FINE OF ONE DOLLAR TO THIS JAR!

Nikolas: Meaning, say a swear word and put a buck in the jar.

Lexxa: Active for the next five chapters!

Ed: …Dammit…

Lexxa: -shoves jar in his face-

Ed: -pulls dollar out of pocket and stuffs it into the jar-

Lexxa: And, since there isn't much profanity in this fanfiction anyway, ANYTHING THAT ISN'T APPROPRIATE FOR SMALL CHILDREN IS PROHIBITED!

Al: …So where does the money go?

Lexxa: …The…Help An Author Foundation!

Roy: ..meaning to you?

Lexxa: …Yes…

Nikolas: She's very needy.

Lexxa: Hey! –hits Nikolas on shoulder- Now, the first thing from xxDangerousPiexx!

**Lust…you're a hoe ._.**

Lust: What? You're a hoe!

Lexxa: -shoves jar in face-

Lust: -pays dollar- WHY DOESN'T XXDANGEROUSPIEXX HAVE TO PAY ANYTHING?

Lexxa: Because it doesn't apply to my awesome reviewers. Next thing!

**Roy, Edward and Alphonse, I dare you to learn Ballroom dancing.**

Roy: …Can my chickens join?

Lexxa: No.

Roy: Bu-

Lexxa: Just no.

Ed: …With each other?

Lexxa: Yes.

Al: But… do we take turns or something?

Lexxa: …HERE'S THE ARRANGEMENT! First it's Roy and Edward, then Edward and Alphonse, then Alphonse and Roy. GOT IT?

Roy, Ed, and Al: YES MA'AM!

Lexxa: NOW GO GO GO!

Roy, Ed, and Al: -runs off into ballroom-

Lexxa: Camera time! –turns on computer-

Instructor: You must be my new students!

Roy: WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY CHICKENS?

Instructor: How did you know that I had chicken for lunch?

Roy: AHHHH! –starts freaking out-

Ed: -leaning into Instructor- Don't say anything about eating chicken around him… He's paranoid…

Instructor: Ah, did I say chicken? I meant… horse…

Roy: -stops running- Oh, okay then. Horse tastes good.

Everyone: …

Lexxa: -turns off computer- …Let's go back there later…

Everyone: -nods in agreement-

Lexxa: Next!

**Winry, I love USUK as wel. I dare you to NOT look up any USUK pictures for a week. Have fun.**

Winry: NOOOOO! I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE AGAIN!

Lexxa: …GET OVER IT!

Winry: -goes to emo corner-

Lexxa: LAST!

**I dare Nikolas to not speak for 3 hours.**

Nikolas: -nods- -evil stare-

Lexxa: …Don't give me that stare, man…

Nikolas: -evil stare continues-

Lexxa: … COMPUTER! SAVE ME! –turns it on-

Ed: DON'T TOUCH ME THERE, DAMMIT!

Instructor: -holds out jar-

Ed: -puts dollar in jar while grumbling-

Instructor: And again!

Ed and Al: -dances-

Lexxa: …He's not that bad…

Nikolas: -nods-

Instructor: Now then, switch off!

Ed: -goes to side-

Roy: -stands near Al-

Instructor: Begin!

Al and Roy: -fail at trying to dance together-

Lexxa: Well, there you go! –turns off computer-

Nikolas: -evil glare at camera-

Lexxa: …Don't be creepy…

Maes: MY LINE!

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Lexxa: STOP THAT NOW!

Scar: …Fine…

Lexxa: Review!


	25. Personality Switching and Debates

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: In this world, it's been over three hours!

Lexxa: …You gave me the evil eye the entire time…

Nikolas: It's my gift.

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Lexxa: …No.

Scar: Aw…

Lexxa: Hello again, petatailify97!

Nikolas: We are honored that we were the ones who eventually made you make an account, even if you were going to do so anyway…

Lexxa: THANK YOU!

Nikolas: First!

**Ed/Armstrong and Scar/Hughes: Switch personalities for a whole day. (Sparkles included)**

Lexxa: Here you go, Edward! –hands bucket of sparkles-

Hughes: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Scar: ISN'T MY DAUGHTER BEAUTIFUL?

Armstrong: I must get my brother's body back to normal!

Ed: -rips off shirt- THESE MUSCLES WERE PASSED DOWN THE ELRIC FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS!

Lexxa: …They're good at this…

Nikolas: …Makes you wonder…

Scar: LOOK AT MY WONDERFUL WIFE!

Lexxa: …And we have to deal with this all day?

Nikolas: …Unfortunately…

Lexxa: NEXT!

Ed: -sparkle-

**Al, Roy, and May Chang:Debate on which animal is the best: cats vs. dogs(chickens?) vs. pandas.**

**Ed and Armstrong: co-judges for debate!**

**Olivier: is the lady who goes around holding a card to announce each round of debate and has to wear sparkly revealing outfit.**

Lexxa: Roy! Dogs or chickens?

Roy: I LOVE MY CHICKEN ARMY!

Lexxa: …Chickens it is! Now, DEBATE!

Al: Cats are adorable!

May: But pandas like Shao May are way more awesome!

Roy: CHICKENS!

Al, May, and Roy: -start yelling over each other over which animal is better-

Ed: SILENCE, CHILDREN! WE ARE NOT HERE TO BICKER!

Armstrong: Shut the hell up!

Lexxa: -holds out swear jar-

Armstrong: -puts dollar in jar-

Olivier: -comes out in revealing sparkly outfit- Round one…

Ed: YOU STOLE SOME OF MY SPARKLES!

Armstrong: -chuckles-

Ed: THIS IS MOST UNFORTUNATE!

Al: CATS ARE AMAZING!

May: PANDAS ARE AMAZINGER!

Roy: CHICKEN!

Armstrong: Roy wins.

Ed: BUT ALPHONSE CLEARLY HAD BETTER DEBATE TACTICS!

Armstrong: Roy wins.

Lexxa: Yes he does. Roy! You win another chicken! –hands chicken-

Roy: YAY!

Lexxa: Last!

**Hetalia is nextly (is that a word?) introduced to …**

**Ling: forced to watch Hetalia and wonder why his voice sounds so similar to Italy's. After watching, he must eat nothing but pasta and talk in an Italian accent for a week while wearing a big bushy MOOSTACHE!**

Lexxa: …Awesome. LING! INTO THE ROOM!

Ling: -enters room-

-two days later-

Ling: -stumbles out of room- HOW ARE WE SO ALIKE! AM… CRAVING… ITALIAN FOOD!

Lexxa: …Nice accent. And mustache…

Ling: …Wha?

Lexxa: …Nothing…

Hughes: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Scar: ISN'T MY FAMILY JUST SO ADORABLE?

Lexxa: …That's all, folks!

Nikolas: Review!


	26. Nigahiga and Shakespeare

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: And who's our little awesome reviewer?

Lexxa: DOC!

Nikolas: And, Al, she has something to say to you…

**Al: actually, I have a life. Not really. But this is a major part of it. Like, 98%. I get waaaaaaay too obsessed with stuff…**

Lexxa: GO NO LIFERS!

Nikolas: …First dare!

**I am daring all you to watch nigahiga videos! The big bouncy inflatable green ball!**

Lexxa: I LOVE NIGAHIGA! He's amazing, even though he barely posts videos anymore! YOU MUST ALL WATCH HIM!

Everyone: …

Lexxa: When I grow up I want to be just like you! –deeper voice- I thought you wanted to be like big lamp –different voice- Just let it go…

Everyone: …

Lexxa: NIGAHIGA FOREVER!

Nikolas: …Let's get you off the sugar…

Lexxa: INTO THE ROOM!

Everyone: -goes into room-

-three hours later-

Everyone: -laughing their asses off-

Lexxa: See? He's amazing.

Ed: I loved the Skitzo where they had to make the PSA!

Lexxa: We all did.

Al: SHAM WOO-HOO!

Lexxa: -satisfied smile-

Nikolas: Next!

**I'm also daring a huge Disney movie marathon~**

Lexxa: Back into the room!

Everyone: -back into room-

-three days later-

Everyone: -stumbles out of room-

Ed: IT BURNS!

Al: THE LIGHT!

Lexxa: … -puts on sunglasses-

Nikolas: …Next…

**Now I bore you all with Shakespeare.**

Lexxa: -groans- I hate Shakespeare… Edgar Allen Poe's where it's at!

Ed: Dude, that guy's creepy…

Lexxa: YOU'RE CREEPY!

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Lexxa: …No.

Nikolas: …Since you're not actually here to bore us with Shakespeare, we're moving on to what you wanted Sheska to say.

Sheska: What?

**Sheska: Look! It's the aliens! *point to tardis* the doctor will save us from the evil daleks!**

Lexxa: …You like Doctor Who, don't you?

Nikolas: It's not murder. It's pest control!

Lexxa: EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Ed: …What?

Lexxa: My dad likes that show. I've been meaning to watch it, as well. I've seen that episode, though. And the one with the Siren…

Nikolas: That episode was creepy…

Lexxa: …Yeah… UNTIL NEXT TIME, SEND LOTS OF REVIEWS! AND EVEN AFTER NEXT TIME! AND THE TIME AFTER THAT! KEEP 'EM COMING!


	27. Chicken Dressing and Pig Riding

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Greetings, xxDangerousPiexx!

Lexxa: HAPPY EASTER TO YOU, TOO! The best part of my Easter is my mom's Easter Pie… Or it can be called Sheppard's Pie… Whatever tickles your peach.

Ed: Tickles your peach?

Lexxa: Yes. FIRST!

**Good job Ed, Al and Roy. Roy I dare you to dress up your chicken in a dress and dance with it. This shouldn't be hard for you.**

Roy: COME HERE, CHICKY CHICKY!

Chicken: -steps away from Roy-

Roy: What did I do wrong? TELL ME, BABY!

Lexxa: …He's dating a chicken?

Nikolas: It was inevitable…

Roy: Yeah, just put on the dress…

Chicken: -pecks Roy's eye-

Roy: OW! No! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell! Don't run away from me! I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL!

Lexxa: …While he solves his emotional problems…

Nikolas: Next.

**Envy, you haven't got many dares. I dare you to say you love Humans.**

Lexxa: -leans into Envy-

Envy: I…love humans…

Lexxa: -bats eyes innocently- I'm sorry? I didn't quite hear that…

Envy: I SAID I LOVE HUMANS! –crawls into emo corner-

Lexxa: That's what I thought. Roy! How the chicken situation?

Roy: -proudly holding a chicken in a dress in his hands-

Lexxa: Good. Now dance!

Roy: Glad I learned ballroom dancing! –dances with chicken-

Lexxa: …He still sucks…

Roy: Hey!

Chicken: -pecks his knee-

Roy: Ow!

Nikolas: Next!

**Lexxa, I dare you to ride a pig… Don't ask me how I came up with that.**

Lexxa: …Okay… -mounts pig- RIDE, MY SUIDAE FRIEND!

Pig: -runs trying to get the crazy lady off its back-

Lexxa: THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!

Nikolas: …Wow…

Lexxa: WOO HOO!

Al: Aw, she made a new friend!

Nikolas: Next!

**Riza, I dare you to make Roy a Easter Egg. ^_^**

Lexxa: -still on pig- RIZA! EASTER EGG TIME!

Riza: But I don't have an Easter Egg…

Nikolas: -hands hardboiled egg- Make one.

Riza: Dye?

Nikolas: -hands over dye-

Riza: …Okay then… -makes Easter Egg- -hands it to Roy-

Roy: Thanks, Riza! Here, Chicken! Do you want an egg?

Chicken: -bites Roy-

Nikolas: Um, Roy? That was your chicken's egg…

Roy: FETUS KILLER!

Nikolas: What?

Lexxa: HOW DARE YOU KILL ROY'S SOON TO BE BABY!

Nikolas: IT WAS A CHICKEN EGG!

Lexxa: BUT HE WOULD'VE LOVED IT LIKE IT WAS HIS OWN SON!

Nikolas: …Crazies…

Lexxa: Until next time, enjoy your Easter Eggs and review!

Roy: MY POOR BABY!


	28. Doctor Who and Just Dance 3

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: Welcome back, Doc!

Lexxa: Nice to have you again!

Ed: This psychopath again?

Lexxa: I'm the only psychopath around here! Well, maybe Roy is one, too…

Roy: -looks up from card game with chicken- Wha?

Lexxa: …Nothing…

Nikolas: First!

**Lexxa: I do like Doctor Who. Especially the tenth. David Tennant forever!**

Lexxa: Yay Doctor Who! Even though I don't watch much… MUST WATCH IT!

Nikolas: I think you'll live…

Lexxa: NOBODY CAN LIVE WITHOUT DOCTOR WHO!

Roy: And she calls me crazy…

Lexxa: I HEARD THAT!

Nikolas: Next…

**Scar: do you have a thing for Lust? I have to know. After all, she was your brother's girlfriend. I think…**

Lexxa: You are correct if you're referring to the original. In Brotherhood, Lust was just created. So, Scar… -slides next to Scar- The question intrigues me… Do you like Lust?

Scar: …I'm a monk…

Lexxa: That's not what I'm asking. Do. You. Like. Lust?

Scar: …

Lexxa: SO IT _IS _TRUE!

Lust: SCAR, YOU SICK BASTARD!

Lexxa: -holds out jar-

Lust: -puts dollar in jar-

Nikolas: There you go, Doc.

Lexxa: Next!

**Lust: I challenge you to a round of Just Dance 3, California Girls!**

Lust: You're on!

Lexxa: Okay, just head on in there in that room where Doc is and have your competition!

Lust: -goes into room-

-four minutes later-

Lust: -comes out drenched in sweat- She…she won…

Lexxa: GO DOC!

Nikolas: Next!

**Envy: no I challenge you to a cooking contest. Object: brownies!**

Lexxa: I already have some of Doc's brownies, so go make some!

Envy: …I wasn't made to make brownies… -goes into kitchen-

-half hour later-

Envy: -comes out with hot brownies-

Lexxa: -tries both brownies- First off, you both are awesome cooks… How did you learn that, Envy?

Envy: -blushes-

Lexxa: But Doc wins again.

Envy: -turns red with anger- -snatches brownies- Let me try that! –takes bite of brownie- -eyes go wide- HOLY CRAP!

Lexxa: -holds out jar-

Envy: -puts money in jar-

Lexxa: Man, I'm getting rich!

Envy: …How can she make such awesome brownies?

Lexxa: Magic. Next!

**Greed: I challenge you to a competition of building tree houses!**

Lexxa: Go outside and have fun!

Greed: -goes outside-

-two days later-

Lexxa: Judging time!

Everyone: -goes outside-

Lexxa: -inspects both tree houses- I think that Greed wins this one…

Greed: BOO YAH!

Lexxa: …Yeah…

Nikolas: Next!

**Wrath: Wii sports resort: fencing!**

Wrath: But I'm so old…

Lexxa: Get in the room, Old Man!

Wrath: -grumbles as he walks into room-

-one hour later-

Wrath: -walks out drenched in sweat- How? I'm…invincible…

Lexxa: Doc beat you, huh? Guess that you're not as good with that sword as you thought.

Nikolas: Next!

**Sloth: Super Mario Bros!**

Sloth: Such a pain…

Lexxa: Well, Mr. Pain, go in the room and play!

Sloth: -trudges into room-

-three hours later-

Sloth: I won.

Lexxa: Then why aren't you excited?

Sloth: Such a pain…

Lexxa: …Doc? Really? You lost against that?

Nikolas: Next.

**Gluttony: I challenge you to an eating contest!**

Gluttony: I'm going to win!

Lexxa: Well, then go win!

-five and a half hours later-

Gluttony: …I lost…

Lexxa: …Doc…you never cease to amaze me…

Nikolas: Well, that's all!

Lexxa: To all of the people that have reviewed, enjoy Icees! –hands out Icees-

Nikolas: To all of you who haven't reviewed… NO ICEE FOR YOU!

Lexxa: By the way, people, reviewing doesn't have to be only dares, if that's what's holding you back. I love reviews of all kinds! If you review, then you, too, can enjoy Icees!

Nikolas: Review!


	29. Foreign Languages

Lexxa: Hello, and welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: MOMMY'S BACK!

Lexxa: Yes she is.

Ed: That Andromeda chick?

Lexxa: No, I was talking about Santa Claus.

Al: SANTA!

Roy: Doesn't he only come around Christmas?

Nikolas: …Sarcasm people…

Lexxa: Let's see what Andromeda wants us to do!

**First, Nik, love, always remember Mommy loves you, no matter what(: But I dare Nik to speak in only Latin for every chapter you do for the next week(:**

Nikolas: …Bene, mammam.

Lexxa: He just said, "Okay, mommy." I'm going to have a lot of translating to do…

**And Lexxa, I dare you to use Google Translate to put everything you say into Greek for the next three chapters(: You may provide subtitles**

Lexxa: Υπότιτλοι δικό μου!

Subtitles: My own subtitles!

Nikolas: Ego adepto subtitles?

Lexxa: Απλά ρώτησε αν θα μπορούσε να έχει υπότιτλους, και η απάντηση είναι ΟΧΙ! Υπότιτλοι μου!

Subtitles: He just asked if he could have subtitles, and the answer is NO! My subtitles!

Ed: …This is going to be a long week…

Lexxa: Δικό μου είναι μόνο για τρία κεφάλαια ... Τότε μπορώ να μεταφράσω στα αγγλικά Νικόλας χωρίς υπότιτλους.

Subtitles: Mine's only for three chapters… Then I can translate Nikolas to English without subtitles.

Al: Still going to be long…

Lexxa: Επόμενη!

Subtitles: Next!

**I dare Mustang to carry me up 20 flights of stairs, and back down, princess style(: it's to make up for the date(: and no mention of chickns or anything else weird, he has to be a perfect gentleman all the while(:**

Roy: …But my chickens…

Lexxa: Ξέρω ότι ο οποίος προσφέρθηκε να σας στην πραγματική ζωή! –knowing smile-

Subtitles: I know who offered that to you in real life!

Ling: This whole Greek thing is weird…

Nikolas: Non ut Ridiculum ut Latina! Cum ego Latine loqui, Lexxa habet transferre pro me, et cum facit loquendi Greek ita translationem ad per duo linguis ...

Lexxa: Είπε, «Δεν είναι τόσο παράξενο Λατινική μου! Όταν μιλώ λατινικά, Lexxa πρέπει να μεταφράσει για μένα, και όταν κάνει αυτή είναι μιλούσαν ελληνικά, ώστε η μετάφραση πρέπει να περάσει δύο γλώσσες ..." και να ήθελα να προσθέσω, ότι η αλήθεια ...

Subtitles: He said, "Not as weird as my Latin! When I'm speaking Latin, Lexxa has to translate for me, and when she does she's speaking Greek so the translation has to go through two languages..." and might I just add, true that...

Roy: I'm getting a headache…

Ed: I'm taking over for now since I don't like reading! Roy! Carry the girl up and down the stairs!

Roy: …Too much work…

Ed: I don't care! I want to go home!

Roy: …Fine… -carries Andromeda up twenty flights of stairs- -panting- Couldn't it have been just twenty stairs? Not twenty flights?

Ed: Hurry up and get your butt down here with Andromeda!

Roy: -carries Andromeda back down stairs- -collapses on the floor-

Riza: Don't take it personally, Andromeda. Roy's just gotten out of shape since he's been in the hospital.

Roy: …Shut…up…

Lexxa: Επόμενη!

Subtitles: Next!

**And what happened to the end of the Games? You never finished! I demand the end of the Games!**

Lexxa: Δεν μπορώ να πιστέψω το ξέχασα! Λυπάμαι! Ναι, Ριζά ότι κέρδισε ... Αυτή είναι ανίκητος όταν έχει τα όπλα της ...

Subtitles: I can't believe I forgot! I'm sorry! Yeah, Riza won that... She's invincible when she has her guns...

Nikolas: Devium, mammam!

Lexxa: Είπε, «Γεια σου, μαμά!" Μέχρι την επόμενη φορά, οι άνθρωποι της γης φαντασίας ανεμιστήρα! Αναθεώρηση! Ουάου ... Αυτό είναι πραγματικά πολύ στα ελληνικά ...

Subtitles: He said, "Bye, Mommy!" Until next time, people of fan fiction land! Review! Wow... That's really long in Greek...

Nikolas: Turpis populus ex omnibus linguis peregrinam pro ...

Lexxa: Είπε, "Συγνώμη σε όλους τους ανθρώπους εκεί έξω για τις ξένες γλώσσες ..."

Subtitles: He said, "Sorry to all the people out there for the foreign languages..."

Roy: Oh, the complication!

Lexxa: …Νομίζω ότι πρόκειται να αφήσει τον Edward χειριστεί την εμφάνιση επόμενη φορά ...

Subtitles: …I think that I'm going to let Edward handle the show next time…

Ed: SENIORITY!

Lexxa: -nods-

Ed: REVIEW!


	30. Cannabalism and Stuffed Cats

Lexxa: Καλώς ήλθατε στο Fullmetal Alchemist τολμήσω Εμφάνιση της μοίρας!

Subtitles: Welcome to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: I'm taking over again!

Lexxa: Ναι! Αλλά, επιτρέψτε μου να είναι ο ένας να πει ότι σήμερα κριτής είναι Doc!

Subtitles: Yep! But, let me be the one to say that today's reviewer is Doc!

Nikolas: Lorem iterum, Doc!

Lexxa: Είπε, "Γεια σας και πάλι, γιατρέ!"

Subtitles: He said, "Hello again, Doc!"

Ed: …Complicated…

Al: Brother! Can I be your co-host?

Ed: Sure, why not?

Al: Yay! Our first dare!

**Envy: if you're a palm tree, does that make it cannibalistic when you have anything with coconuts in it? I have to know. **

Envy: …I'M NOT A FREAKING PALM TREE!

Lexxa: -holds out jar-

Envy: -puts money in jar-

Ed: Yes you are. Now answer the question!

Envy: But I'm not a palm tree!

Al: Oh, yeah, Brother! Remember? He was the talking dog!

Envy: …Shut up…

Al: Let's just go with yes…

Envy: NO!

Ed: Yep.

Envy: NO FREAKING WAY!

Lexxa: -holds out jar- Ο φθόνος, ακριβώς παραδεχτώ ότι είσαι ένας φοίνικας ώστε να μπορέσουμε να προχωρήσουμε. Εκτός αν ... θέλετε να αντιμετωπίσει flamer μου ...

Subtitles: Envy, just admit that you are a palm tree so we can move on. Unless… you want to face my flamer…

Envy: …I'm a palm tree…

Ed: And…?

Envy: …It's cannibalistic when I eat anything with coconuts in there…

Al: Next dare!

**Edward: how many books do you read, on average? Mine is close to 365-730 books per year. Maybe more.**

Ed: …I don't know…

Al: Well, you _do_ read alchemy books all the time…

Ed: …Maybe a thousand?

Lexxa: …Πόσο χρόνο ανάγνωση έχετε;

Subtitles: …How much reading time do you have?

Al: A lot.

Ed: You have to take into account all the times on the train when I wasn't writing in my travelogue and all the times I was in a library…

Al: Next!

**Alphonse: here is a kitty. And Ed will not know because it can turn into a stuffed kitty so Ed will think that you a carrying around a stuffed cat. :3**

Al: Yay!

Kitty: Merrow

Ed: Did I just hear a cat?

Kitty: -turns into stuffed animal-

Al: No…

Ed: …Why do you have a stuffed cat?

Al: …Because…

Ed: …Okay then…Well, that's all we have for this chapter!

Lexxa: Το επόμενο κεφάλαιο είναι το τελευταίο που έχω να μιλούν ελληνικά! Επανεξέταση γρήγορα έτσι ώστε να μπορώ να μιλήσω αγγλικά και πάλι!

Subtitles: Next chapter's the last one where I have to speak Greek! Review fast so that I can speak English again!

Ed: Review!

Roy: Chicken!

Riza: …Sir…

Roy: What?

Riza: …I don't want your chicken on my head…

Chicken: -pecks Riza's head-

Roy: Aw… Come on, Hawkeye…

Riza: -death flames- GET THIS THING OFF OF ME NOW!

Roy: -grabs chicken-

Ed: …Review!


	31. Golden Retrievers and Face Explosions

Lexxa: Γεια σας και καλώς ήρθατε πίσω στο Fullmetal Alchemist τολμήσω Εμφάνιση της μοίρας!

Subtitles: Hello, and welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: …Where's Nikolas?

Lexxa: Πήρε άρρωστος, έτσι είναι ακριβώς εγώ.

Subtitles: He got sick, so it's just me.

Al: …Okay then…

Ed: This is a special chapter because it's the last one where Lexxa has to speak Greek and the last one that I get to host!

Al: So it's nice that we get to introduce a brand new reviewer who has an awesome name.

Ed: Hey, Al, do you think Riza should say the reviewer's name?

Al: -snickers- Yes.

Ed: -hands Riza paper-

Riza: …Sushi Hawkeye…

Everyone: -laughs-

Ed: Don't take it the wrong way, Sushi Hawkeye! Your name really is awesome! It's just the fact that Riza hates sushi that makes this hilarious!

Al: Okay, okay… First dare.

**Roy: flame your chicken and serve it to your date for the night. Roasted!**

Roy: MY CHICKEN!

Ed: Just do your snappy thing and roast it.

Roy: …I'm sorry, my love… -snaps fingers-

Chicken: -catches on fire-

Roy: I'M SO SORRY! I'LL SEE YOU AGAIN IN THE AFTERLIFE! I SWEAR!

Ed: …So, Roy... Go set up for your date.

Roy: Who's my date?

Al: You'll find out soon enough.

Roy: But I'm still grieving over Camilla…

Ed: …Isn't that a Muppet?

Roy: HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH BLASPHEMY!

Al: Chill out, Roy…

Ed: Your date's in fifteen minutes.

Roy: So?

Ed: So set out the chicken!

Roy: …My poor Camilla…

Al: Hey, Roy… I think Camilla was cheating on you with Gonzo…

Roy: WHO'S THIS GONZO?

Ed: -snickering- This really cool dude with super hero powers.

Roy: HOW DARE CAMILLA! SHE SHALL BE EATEN!

Riza: …Boys, that wasn't nice…

Ed: But it was funny as hell…

Roy: Gotta go set up for my date! WE'RE GONNA EAT CAMILLA!

Ed: …Scary…

Al: Next!

**Riza: gimmie you guns.**

Ed: Riza…

Riza: …Fine. –hands over guns-

**Now, go on a date with Roy. Enjoy!**

Riza: …NOOO!

Ed: You'd better hurry up. Don't wanna keep Roy and Camilla waiting.

Riza: You. Quiet. Now.

Ed: I'm not scared! –dangles guns in front of face-

Al: Brother…

Ed: GO HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE!

Riza: -stomps off into room-

-two hours later-

Roy and Riza: -come out of room-

Ed: How was the date?

Roy: Camilla was delicious.

Al: …Okay…

Ed: …Next…

**Ed: turn into a golden retriever.**

Ed: What? How am I supposed to do that? Envy's the one with the transforming powers!

Envy: -whispers-

Ed: Really? That's the secret to shapeshifting? THAT'S SO EASY!

Envy: TELL ANYONE AND I'LL KILL YOU!

Ed: Okay… -turns into golden retriever-

Al: Next!

**Al: leash hum up and let your kitties maim him if they want. (I'm sure they will)**

Al: But that's so mean!

Winry: Sorry, Al, but I don't think you have a choice…

Al: …I'm sorry, Brother… -ties Ed up-

Ed: BARK!

Al: I said I was sorry!

Ed: BARK BARK BARK!

Al: MY APOLOGIES, BROTHER! –sends cats loose on Ed-

Cats: -maul Ed-

Ed: BARK! BARK! BARK!

Al: I'M SO SORRY!

Ling: I think that's enough…

Al: -gathers up cats-

Winry: -unhooks Ed-

Ed: -transforms back into human- WHAT THE HELL, AL?

Al: I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE, BROTHER!

Winry: ED, DO NOT YELL AT AL OR ELSE I'M GOING TO TELL NIKOLAS!

Ed: …Tattletale…

Al: …Next?

**Roy(again): *fires raygun* now that your back to normal (or worse, in case this is that 13%) for this chapter, and you love dogs and miniskirts again, do with Ed as you wish. But put him in a miniskirt.**

Roy: Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Ed: -tries to get away from Roy-

Roy: -holding up miniskirt- YOU HEARD THE REVIEWER! PUT ON THE MINISKIRT SO THAT YOU CAN DO MY PAPERWORK!

Lexxa: Και Roy λέει ότι, επειδή, όπως είπα, δεν τα yaoi. Έγγραφα επιτρέπεται, εν τούτοις.

Subtitles: And Roy is saying that because, like I said, no yaoi. Paperwork is allowed, though.

Al: Thank you for protecting Ed… If he's in the closet, I'd like for him to _not_ find out from Roy raping him…

Lexxa: Κανένα πρόβλημα.

Subtitles: No problem.

Ed: -walks into room blushing and in miniskirt-

Roy: Fullmetal, paperwork.

Ed: -goes to emo corner and does paperwork-

Al: Guess I'm the main host now! Ling, do you wanna co-host?

Ling: Sure, why not?

Al: Next dare!

**Ed: *slides a bowl of milk* drink up.**

**Sorry shortsuff, I get sadistic tendencies. ^^**

Ed: …First miniskirt…Then paperwork…Now milk? WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO? –drinks milk-

Al: …If I knew that it was this easy to get him to drink milk, I would've asked to be on a dare show a long time ago…

Ling: Next!

**Scar: you always say "your *something* blows up", try "my *something* blows up"**

Ling: Scar?

Scar: …MY FACE EXPLODES! –his face explodes-

Al: …Who's going to clean that up?

Lexxa: Ας ο τύπος νύχτα να το πάρει.

Subtitles: Let the night guy get it.

Ling: Okay.

Al: Last!

**Envy: let Ed um…do what dogs do to mark their territory. ;) don't hit him. Or else Nikolas can do what he wants and you have to pay Lexxa ten bucks. **

Al: Since Nikolas isn't here, he can do what he wants next chapter.

Ed: …I DON'T WANNA PEE ON THAT THING!

Ling: You have to.

Ed: Shut up, Ling.

Ling: No.

Al: Envy, could you please turn into a tree again?

Envy: I DON'T WANT THE TWERP TO PEE ON ME!

Ling: Then do you want to answer to Nikolas?

Envy: …No…-turns into tree-

Al: Now, Brother, it's simple. Just pee on Envy…

Ed: NO WAY IN HELL!

Al: Brother…

Ed: I AM NOT GOING TO PEE ON HIM!

Ling: JUST TAKE A WIZ ON THE DEFECTIVE PALM TREE SO WE CAN MOVE ON!

Envy: DEFECTIVE PALM TREE?

Ling: Yes. NOW TAKE A PISS!

Al: Ling! Mind your language! And Ed, just pee…

Ed: …Fine…BUT ONLY BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF NIKOLAS! –pees on Envy-

Lexxa: -laughing- Καλύτερο τολμούν ποτέ ... ΣΑΣ ΑΓΑΠΩ HAWKEYE SUSHI!

Subtitles: Best dare ever... I LOVE YOU SUSHI HAWKEYE!

Ling: And that's all except… -hands out candy- That's from Sushi Hawkeye.

Al: Remember to review!


	32. Greece and Ed Torturing

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom! Man, am I happy to be speaking English again…

Nikolas: Ego adhuc adhæsit cum Latine usque dominica ...

Lexxa: He just said, "I'm still stuck with Latin until Sunday…" I'm sorry, Nikolas. But there's nothing I can do… BLAME YOUR MOTHER!

Ed: …So, what did you think of my hosting skills?

Lexxa: I'm way better than you.

Ling: Pwnd.

Lexxa: …Really?

Al: So… Who's the reviewer?

Lexxa: petaltailify97!

Nikolas: Grata retro! Confido vobis mirabilia audet.

Lexxa: Nikolas just said, "Welcome back! I trust that you have wonderful dares." And, Nikolas, I'm passing down my subtitles. They're all yours.

Nikolas: Proin! Subtitles!

Subtitles: Yay! Subtitles!

Lexxa: So, first up is this!

**Since you're speaking Greek, Lexxa you must summon Greece from Hetalia and have him hang out with Al for a week! (Kitty-Loving Alphonse will LOVE him!)**

Lexxa: Well, I quit my Greek, but I'm going to speak it again just for this purpose! Ελάτε, εδώ Ελλάδα! Σας commandith!

Subtitles: Come here, Greece! I commandith you!

Greece: …Where am I?

Lexxa: The Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Greece: …Wha?

Lexxa: Go hang out with Al!

Al: Hi, Greece!

Greece: HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?

Al: I just do… COME! LET'S TALK ABOUT KITTIES!

Greece: …Okay…

Lexxa: Continuing!

**I dare Ed to be locked in a room with Fred and the Nyan cat for a whole day!**

Lexxa: Ed! Get in the closet!

Ed: Isn't that where you keep Mary-Sue?

Lexxa: I meant the other closet!

Ed: …Okay… -goes into closet-

Lexxa: Computer time! –turns on computer-

Fred: HI, ED!

Ed: AHH! WHO ARE YOU?

Fred: I'M FRED!

Nyan Cat: NYAN! NYAN NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN NYAN! NYAN! NYAN! NYAN NYAN! NYAN!

Ed: WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT THING?

Fred: IT'S NYAN CAT!

Ed: I HATE CATS!

Lexxa: -turns off computer- Nice. Next!

**Scar: You must immediately shout the phrase "DUMBLEORA THE EXPLORA!" everytime the Subtitles, Al, or Roy say the word "the".**

Scar: …Crap…

Lexxa: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE THAT DARE!

Roy: This is going to get annoying…

Lexxa: For the remainder of this chapter, since Scar hasn't had to say the phrase yet, we will be talking to Mary-Sue because it seems like we've forgotten her. MARY-SUE!

Mary-Sue: HELLO!

Al: Hi!

Scar: …Hi…

Nikolas: Placuit ad te.

Subtitles: Pleased to see you.

Mary-Sue: I've been locked in that closet for so long! It feels so good to be out of it!

Roy: …She came out of the-

Scar: DUMBLEDORA THE EXPLORA!

Roy: -closet.

Al: -sighs-

Lexxa: Fun!

Mary-Sue: What was that about?

Lexxa: Nothing.

Al: So, Mary-Sue, how was the-

Scar: DUMBLEDORA THE EXPLORA!

Al: -closet?

Mary-Sue: SOMEBODY TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?

Lexxa: NOTHING!

Scar: I hate my life…

Roy: Don't worry. We hate your life, too.

Scar: HEY!

Roy: Just speaking the-

Scar: DUMBLEDORA THE EXPLORA!

Roy: -truth…

Al: GOD HELP US!

Lexxa: Sorry, that Scar didn't have to say it many times, but we're out of time! Remember to review!

Roy: THE-

Scar: DUMBLEDORA THE EXPLORA!

Roy: -WIND!


	33. Tummy Rubbing and MarySue Fights

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: Today's chapter is brought to you by poptarts.

Al: Brother! That's wrong! It's from petaltailify97!

Lexxa: …Sorry in advance for all of the stuff that's going to be weirder than usual… I was just watching abridged series of Bleach and Fullmetal Alchemist…

Ed: Wait, we have an abridged series?

Lexxa: Yes! And now Al must say a line from it! –hands Al paper-

Al: -reading off of paper- Brother, they looked at my horn funny. I must break their necks.

Ed: -laughing-

Al: WHAT KIND OF BLASPHEMY IS THIS?

Lexxa: It is the power of fans! And now the dares!

**Roy and Riza: Play Target Practice with Roy's Chickens.(Riza, you may shoot as many of Roy's chickens as you want.)**

Riza: Revenge time.

Roy: CAMILLA MUST DIE!

Ed: I thought that you already killed Camilla…

Roy: …Hey, where's Nikolas?

Lexxa: Visiting his mommy.

Riza: CHICKEN SHOOTING TIME! –shoots like, fifty chickens-

Roy: -shoots a poptart-

Al: …Where did the poptart come from?

Ed: THE POPTART! (sorry everyone! In the Fullmetal Alchemist abridged series I was watching, the taboo was toasting a poptart with alchemy…)

Lexxa: Moving on!

**Ed: Go out to random people in Central wearing smexy cat ears and a tail with Greece and Al taking pictures while holding up his shirt asking people to rub his tummy and offer them a dollar if they do so. (I will supply the money ^-^)**

Lexxa: Another rich person, I see… ED! Put on these cat ears and tail!

Ed: …What kind of word is smexy?

Lexxa: It's better than saying sexy. NOW PUT ON THE SMEXY OUTFIT!

Ed: …Okay…-goes into room- -comes out in cat ears and tail-

Lexxa: Okay, so you guys have fun!

Ed, Al, and Greece: -go out into Central-

Lexxa: Now that they're gone…

**Envy: Secretly follow them into Central and shapeshift into different people that will rub Ed's tummy, and you must give the money to Lexxa and Nikolas when you return.**

Lexxa: Ha! I get free money!

Envy: …Do I really have to rub his tummy?

Lexxa: Yes.

Envy: -grumbles- -goes into Central-

Lexxa: Well, now I regret not making Envy bring a camera… We can now only hear tales about it… Oh well. Last dare!

**Mary-Sue: Have a fight to the death with the Annoying Orange, Pikachu, and Darth Vader in your closet!**

Mary-Sue: Alright! Some Mary-Sue action!

Lexxa: …You alright?

Mary-Sue: It just feels great coming out of the closet!

Lexxa: …Yeah… BACK IN YOU GO!

Mary-Sue: -goes into closet-

Lexxa: Camera time! –turns on computer-

Mary-Sue: ALRIGHT, PIKACHU! YOU WANT SOME OF THIS!

Darth Vader: Even I don't want any of that…

Annoying Orange: Yeah!

Mary-Sue: -beats the crap out of Pikachu, Annoying Orange, and Darth Vader-

Lexxa: …Well then… Review! –runs off to go watch more abridged series-

Riza: Wait! Will we find out what happened in the boys' romp in Central?

Lexxa: Next chapter!


	34. Ballet and RPing

Nikolas: Salue, et suscipiat ad Fullmetal Alchemist audet Ostende de Adeptus!

Lexxa: He just said, Hello, and welcome to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: PLEASE TELL ME THAT I DON'T HAVE TO PEE ON ENVY AGAIN!

Lexxa: …No…No you do not…

Al: …Ominous…

Lexxa: Anyway, the following is a product of me writing a fanfiction right after watching Bleach abridged series…

Ed: THE WIND!

Roy: THAT'S MY LINE!

Ed: …Then say it…

Roy: THE WIND!

Lexxa: Ah, yes… commentaries… Anywho, Nameless has another dare!

**I dare Kimblee to not blow up anything.**

Kimblee: What?

Lexxa: NO BLOWY UPPY!

Kimblee: BUT I'LL GO INSANE!

Ed: You're already insane.

Lexxa: And now, the rest of the dares are from Andromeda!

**I dare Ling to pay for everything he eats on his own for a week(:**

Ling: Wha? What is that even supposed to mean?

Lexxa: IT MEANS STOP BEING A FREE LOADER!

Ling: But, it's not like a choice! IT'S A WAY OF LIFE!

Lexxa: Well, it's an annoying one. PAY FOR YOUR OWN FOOD!

Ling: …Aw…

Lexxa: Next!

**I dare Hawkeye to join ballet**

Riza: What?

Roy: YEAH! BALLERINA OUTFIT TIME!

Lexxa: What happened to your chickens?

Roy: …It just hasn't been the same since I learned about Camilla and what she did…

Lexxa: …Anyway-

Kimblee: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I MUST BLOW SOMETHING UP!

Lexxa: HEY! I WAS TALKING! Anyway, Riza! Go take ballet lessons!

Riza: …Fine… -goes into room-

Lexxa: Next!

**I dare everyone ot join the wonderfulness that is roleplaying! And to use themselves as their face claims(: and Roy must play a gentleman who is dating my character**

Roy: …Obsessed much?

Lexxa: Yep, she sure is. But, that's only because she's in your Miniskirt Army.

Roy: MINISKIRT ARMY!

Lexxa: Everyone! Into computer lab!

Everyone: -goes into computer lab-

Lexxa: Now, while you make your characters, I'm going to explain something new to the people out there in fanfiction world! So, everyone, in this dare I saw an opportunity. So now, at the end of each chapter, in italics, there is going to be an excerpt from their chat box conversations!

Ed: …Really?

Lexxa: Yep!

Kimblee: MUST EXPLODE CHILDREN!

Lexxa: NO HURTING CHILDREN! You can hurt snakes, though.

Kimblee: Boom?

Lexxa: No boom.

Kimblee: …Aw…

Lexxa: Remember to review!

_Roy: Is this the chat box?_

_Ed: I think so…_

_Kimblee: BOOM GOES THE CHILDREN!_

_Al: That was irrelevant…_

_Roy: …What are we supposed to do on here?_

_Al: …I don't know, talk?_

_Winry: I think that it's going to get better once we start role playing…_

_Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!_

_Roy: IS NOWHERE SAFE FROM THIS TYRANNY?_

_Scar: Nope._


	35. Killing Sprees and Inappropriate Picture

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: Welcome back, Doc.

Al: Yay! Doc's here!

Lexxa: …When did you guys get so buddy buddy with Doc?

Ed: We're hoping that if we're nice to her then she'll be nice to us.

Lexxa: Well, never fear! This chapter has absolutely no dares! Well, at least nothing that nobody will hate. There's only really one, and that one shall be expressed now!

**Yo, Barry! You, me, Slicer, killing spree. Let's hop to it!**

Lexxa: Go have fun!

Barry and Slicer: HELL YEAH!

Lexxa: Next!

**Lexxa: Not to fear, because I was stalking the boys and brought back pictures! Here you go! *hands Lexxa the pictures***

Lexxa: SWEET!

Ed: WHAT?

Roy: Nice.

Al: -looking at one of the pictures- …Brother…that doesn't look like that person was rubbing your be-

Ed: -takes picture away from Al- NO MORE PICTURES FOR YOU!

Lexxa: Next!

**Scar: Does your face hurt? Because it's killing me! Hahaha! Yeah, I get it, my face explodes. *Doc's face blows up***

Scar: …Now, not only are my feelings hurt, I can't blow up any face…

Lexxa: …You can blow up your own face…

Scar: It wouldn't be the same…

Lexxa: …Next!

**Roy: I'll send a message to Camilla in the afterlife.**

Roy: FUCK YEAH!

Lexxa: …Language…

Roy: Oh, sorry… **** YEAH!

Lexxa: Ah, the magic of beeping things out… it can turn this-

Al: I stubbed my pinky toe!

Lexxa: Into-

Al: I stubbed my ******* toe!

Lexxa: Magic! Now, review!

_Roy: Okay, who tried to kill my character?_

_Ed: -whistles-_

_Roy: YOU'RE GOING TO PAY! DON'T YOU DARE HURT LEEROY!_

_Ed: …Why would you name him Leeroy, anyway?_

_Roy: …It has Roy in it…_

_Winry: Yeah, Ed, because Grimmjow Jabberjack is a better name. _(Anyone who knows where that's from gets a cookie)

_Ed: It's an awesome name!_

_Al: Brother, were you the one who commented on my thread, "Yeah, real original jackass"?_

_Ed: …No…_

_Al: BROTHER!_

_Granny Pinako: SHUT THE HELL UP, TWERPS!_

_Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A TWERP?_

_Winry: You!_

_Ed: …_


	36. Dark Chocolate and Fourth Wall Breaking

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: Is it Doc?

Al: Is she not going to kill us?

Lexxa: Yes and yes!

Ed and Al: -sigh of relief-

Lexxa: And you get gifts!

**AL GET'S A KITTY AND ED GETS… He gets… How about some dark chocolate? And a shield.**

Al: KITTY!

Ed: I LOVE DARK CHOCOLATE! –starts nomming on chocolate-

Lexxa: Don't forget your shield!

Ed: Awesome shield!

Lexxa: And what do we say?

Ed and Al: THANK YOU, DOC!

Roy: …I want some dark chocolate…

Ed: -hissing- MINE!

Lexxa: Moving on!

**Roy: So I went to the afterlife, and I saw Camilla, and she told me to tell you that she's hurt that you killed her, because she has no idea who this "Gonzo" person was. In short, you was lied to. So, I brought back Camilla. Now she will peck you.**

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Roy: OH, CAMILLA! I'M SO SORRY THAT I EVER DOUBTED YOU!

Ed: …Shit…

Lexxa: You just got pwnd.

Al: What does that even mean?

Lexxa: Were you not paying attention during nigahiga's word of the day pwnd edition?

Ed: Oh, yeah… SWOG!

Lexxa: Yes, swog. Moving on!

***wipes blood off of face* Spree was fun. I brought back organs! And a brain! Those Mary-Sues didn't stand a chance~**

Mary-Sue: YOU KILLED MY SISTERS?

Lexxa: What do you care? Now that they're gone you have a better chance of getting the characters to fall in love with you or whatever it is that's a Mary-Sue's life dream.

Mary-Sue: MORE CHICKEN POT PIE FOR ME!

Roy: DON'T EAT MY CHICKENS!

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Winry: I LIKE TO YELL, TOO!

Everyone: -simultaneous yelling-

Lexxa: SHUT UP!

Everyone: -shuts up-

Lexxa: Good. Now, review!

_Winry: Is anyone else confused on what the purpose of role playing is? Why would I want to go to some other anime?_

_Al: Winry! You're breaking the fourth wall!_

_Winry: The fourth what?_

_Ed: The fourth wall. Now shut up before we all get killed!_

_Lexxa: Who's breaking the fourth wall?_

_Winry: ED!_

_Ed: What? You're the one breaking the walls here, Missy!_

_Lexxa: NO FOURTH WALL BREAKING! Now, continue with your role play. Remember, I'm the moderator here…_

_Ed: …Of course you are…_


	37. Amusement Parks and USUK

Nikolas: Suscipiat ad Fullmetal Alchemist audet Ostende de Adeptus!

Subtitles: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Lexxa: Hello, again, Doc!

Ed: I LOVE YOU, DOC!

Lexxa: More sucking up?

Ed: -nods-

Lexxa: Okay, then.

Nikolas: Nos exprimere primum audet?

Subtitles: Shall we express the first dare?

Lexxa: I believe we shall. FIRST THING!

**Roy: Since you groveled so nicely, here you go. *gives Roy dark chocolate***

Roy: Yay! Omnomnomnomnomnom

Lexxa: …That reminds me of something that Nameless does to me occasionally…

Ed: What is it?

Lexxa: -sniffs Ed's shoulder- -whispering without moving head from shoulder- You smell like melted cheese… Omynomynomynomynomynomy

Ed: …

Lexxa: -moves away from Ed- You're the one who wanted to know.

Ed: …You're friends with weirdos…

Lexxa: Pretty much. Next thing!

**I love you all, so I'm banishing you all to an amusement park for a day!**

Armstrong: OH, THE AMUSEMENT!

Lexxa: …That's why it's called an amusement park…

Everyone: -teleports to amusement park-

Al: HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

Lexxa: Magic!

Armstrong: THAT WAS A MOST AMUSING TRICK!

Lexxa: …Yeah… GO HAVE FUN!

Everyone: -disperses into groups to go have fun-

Lexxa: …Now to stalk them.

Nikolas: Ut ego coniungere in?

Subtitles: May I join in?

Lexxa: Sure, the more the merrier! –runs off in the direction that Envy and Lust went-

Envy: How could they call me a deformed palm tree?

Lust: Get over it. I'm just happy that nothing terrible has happened to me.

Lexxa: -whispering to Nikolas- We should prank them.

Nikolas: -nods-

Lexxa: …I know!

-pasta falls from the sky-

Nikolas: …Quomodo facere quod?

Subtitles: …How did you do that?

Lexxa: Magic. Come on, let's see what Roy and Camilla are doing! –runs off to find Roy and Camilla- -stops by tunnel of love where Roy and Camilla are- …Really? Now all they need to do is get married…

Nikolas: Non dant eis ideam.

Subtitles: Don't give them any ideas.

Lexxa: …Good thinking. Well, I think that everyone's had enough fun.

Everyone: -fall into usual room-

Ed: …What just happened?

Lexxa: The magic of fanfiction. Continuing!

**Winry and Mei: You guys get to obsess over whatever you want, and no one can stop you!**

Winry: USUK! USUK!

Mei: Alphonse… -stares at Al-

Al: …Shit.

Winry: USUK! USUK!

Lexxa: And now we're done!

Winry: USUK! USUK!

Lexxa: …Yeah… USUK… Well, anyway… Review!

_Winry: USUK!_

_Ed: Don't bring that shit on here, too._

_Winry: USUK! USUK!_

_Al: God, save us all…_

_Granny Pinako: I thought you boys didn't believe in God._

_Ed: Doesn't mean that he can't save us!_

_Winry: USUK!_

_Roy: Okay, to whoever's been commenting on my thread, quit it._

_Ed: What are they saying?_

_Roy: They're…calling me Flaming Pony…_

_Ed: …_

_Lexxa: Roy, suck it up._

_Al: I thought that this was for us only!_

_Lexxa: I pop in once in a while. Sue me._

_Ed: I'm too scared to._


	38. Sushi Hating and Nutcracker

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: …That gets really old.

Lexxa: EL PANTELONES DE FUEGO!

Ed: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: That loosely translates to the pants are on fire.

Ed: …Did you really just try to make my pants catch on fire?

Lexxa: Yeah… It didn't work… ROY! CATCH HIS PANTS ON FIRE!

Roy: OKAY! –snaps fingers-

Ed: AHHHH! –runs around like an idiot-

Lexxa: I win. Anyway, welcome back, Sushi Hawkeye!

Riza: …Hate…sushi…

Lexxa: Get over it.

Riza: -aims guns at her-

Lexxa: Good luck with that. I'm invincible to your bullets!

Riza: …Wha?

Lexxa: I took a little each day and now I'm immune!

Ed: …I don't think it works that way…

Lexxa: Then try shooting me.

Riza: -shoots Lexxa-

Lexxa: -is fine- See? Told you!

Al: …How?

Lexxa: First up!

**Really, Riza? You hate sushi? Okay…and you hate Roy, too? Why do you hate the two mentioned?**

Riza: Sushi is for demons!

Lexxa: Hey, I like sushi!

Riza: My point exactly.

Lexxa: -slaps Riza's wrist- Bad girl! No!

Riza: -pulls away- As for why I hate Roy, one day he got drunk and almost raped me.

Roy: …Wha?

Lexxa: …And you're still his Lieutenant?

Riza: What can I say?

Lexxa: ...The dreams of Royai fans are crushed…

**Btw, how was your date?**

Riza: Well, he didn't try to rape me again, so fairly well, I suppose.

Lexxa: Seriously, how can you work for him?

Roy: I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO TRY TO RAPE YOU!

Al: …My view on you just drastically changed.

Ed: I knew it.

Lexxa: …I think I need to take you down a notch.

Ed: What do you mean?

Lexxa: You're too cocky. Maybe you should read Elricest after this…

Al: …What's that?

Lexxa: Ask Edward later. And, Edward, you're going to read some after the show.

Ed: I'm ready for everything!

Lexxa: More for Riza!

**And now that you know how to dance ballet, I dare you to perform the Nutcracker. Surrender your guns to Ed, I don't trust an angry trigger happy lieutenant with not shooting. For the show, you can drag a few extra people in. Except Ed and Al.**

Ed: Safe!

Riza: LEXXA, I CHOOSE YOU!

Lexxa: …Shit…

Riza: And Ling.

Ling: FUCK YEAH!

Lexxa: …Really, dude?

Ling: I love a chance to perform!

Lexxa: Of course you do…

Ling, Lexxa, and Riza: -go into a room to rehearse-

Nikolas: Etiam cum id, lets moventur erimus?

Subtitles: Well, while they do that, let's move on, shall we?

**Hey, Ed! *high fives Ed***

Ed: Yeah!

**I see you have survived the miniskirt and the milk. What was the color of the skirt Roy gave you?**

Ed: …Pink…

**And, congratulations, for not reacting to me, calling you shortstuff, Shortsuff. ^^ here's the largest block of my favorite dark chocolate that I could find! Enjoy!~~**

Ed: FUCK YEAH!

Nikolas: Tam sordida verba in hoc ostende ...

Subtitles: Such dirty words on this show…

Ed: FUCK YEAH!

Al: You already said that!

Ed: So? –noms on chocolate-

Nikolas: ... Prosequens ...

Subtitles: …Continuing…

**Al: want me to get him to drink milk again?**

Al: FUCK YEAH!

Ed: COPY CAT!

Roy: Does it really matter who said fuck yeah first?

Ed: GET AWAY FROM ME, RAPIST!

Roy: SHHH! Don't let Camilla hear you!

Al: …Isn't it illegal to date a chicken?

Roy: …Five bucks says that you won't tell the Feds.

Al: …But aren't you the Feds?

Roy: Five bucks.

Al: …I'll take it. –takes five bucks-

Nikolas: Lac tempore, Edwardi.

Subtitles: Milk time, Edward.

Ed: …Shit. –drinks milk-

Al: He did it!

Nikolas: Deinde.

Subtitles: Next.

**Lust: I always wondered how it would turn out if you were more childish than not. I dare you to be childish, for the next week!**

Lust: …Crap…

Ed: KIDS DON'T SAY CRAP!

Lust: YOU DO!

Al: Lighten up. Kids don't yell like that.

Lust: …BUBBLEGUM!

Ed: …Bubblegum?

Lust: Bubblegum.

Al: …Okay then…

Lexxa: -comes out of room- HEAR ME, HEAR ME! THE MARCH OF THE NUTCRACKER IS ABOUT TO BEGIN! –goes back into room-

Ed: …Was Lexxa wearing a tutu?

Al: I think so…

Roy: We'd better get in there…

Ed and Al: SHUT UP, RAPIST!

Roy: I was drunk! I wasn't responsible for my actions!

Lust: DANCE DANCE TIME! –runs into room-

Everyone else: -goes into room-

Riza: -in ballerina outfit- -dances-

Ling: -comes out in costume- -dances-

Lexxa: -comes out in costume- -kicks Ling in the nuts-

Ling: -doubles over in pain-

Lexxa: I HOPE THAT YOU ENJOYED OUR PRESENTATION OF THE NUTCRACKER!

Ling: I DON'T THINK THAT THE NAME LITERALLY MEANS TO CRACK SOMEONE'S NUTS!

Riza: -laughing-

Everyone: -goes out of room-

Lexxa: Here's an ice pack, Ling. –hands Ling ice pack-

Ling: Fuck…you…

Lexxa: Well, Ling, you have a present from Sushi Hawkeye.

Ling: Present?

**Ling: lol, defective palm tree. You get a 24hour all you can eat buffet for that, wherever you want.I'm paying. Take the Elric brothers with you. ^^**

Ling: FOOD! –runs out of the room-

Lexxa: That cleared his mind of all the pain I caused him!

Ed and Al: -follow Ling-

Lexxa: I have a comment!

**Lexxa: thanks! It seems my revenge on the defective palm tree is enough, for now. *snickers***

Lexxa: Ohh… Now I want a Snickers…

Lust: Candy!

Winry: Here. –hands over a lot of candy-

Lexxa: Next!

**Olivier and the Pirate King: swordfight! The winner can order the loser around for the next 5days.**

Lexxa: Olivier! Come hither!

Olivier: What? –comes hither-

Lexxa: You have a secret message!

**Psst Liv! Here, use my sword with yours. Mine is strong enough to double as a shield, even against Bradley. I temporarily tweaked yours so it stays sharp, so sharp that even a glance at it might cut you. But it won't cut you, because you own it. **

Olivier: Sweet. –takes sword- PIRATE KING, YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING DIE!

Pirate King: I don't even know who I am!

Lexxa: I'm serious! Who is this dude?

Olivier: -chases Pirate King with swords- COME HERE, YOU FUCKING COWARD!

Lexxa: Someone's gonna get it! But, while they duke it out, last thing!

**smores! Here. Ingredients enough for all of you, including Gluttony and Ling, even after the buffet. Roy provides the flame for your smores creations. Eat up! The one who eats the most cleans up the mess! ^^**

Lexxa: Isn't it supposed to be the one who eats the least?

Gluttony: I like that one better…

Lexxa: GLUTTONY! SINCE WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOING TO EAT THE MOST, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE ONE TO CLEAN UP! There, now we can all eat with ease.

Lust: I FREAKING LOVE SMORES!

Lexxa: Yes you do.

Everyone: -SMORE PARTY!-

Lexxa: Remember to review!

_Roy: I think I overdid it with the smores…_

_Ed: Quit your whining._

_Roy: Where did you go for the buffet?_

_Ed: …Al and I couldn't find Ling…_

_Ling: I GOT LOST!_

_Al: …_

_Roy: How did you get lost?_

_Ling: DON'T TALK TO ME, RAPIST! STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!_

_Roy: Ling…_

_Ling: I NEED AN ADULT!_

_Ed: …Roy _is_ an adult…_

_Ling: THEN I NEED A DIFFERENT ONE!_

_Winry: I'LL BE YOUR ADULT!_

_Al: …Crazies…_


	39. Ugly Man Hugging and Friday

Lexxa: Welcome back to yet another chapter of Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: …I think that you've only had this thing for about a week…

Al: And you already have thirty-nine chapters…

Lexxa: That's just because my reviewers are amazingly awesome. Or awesomely amazing. Whichever you prefer.

Ed: Who's our reviewer?

Lexxa: xxDangerousPiexx!

Roy: Will she be nice to me?

Ed: RAPIST!

Roy: Lexxa, I'm begging you, HELP ME!

Lexxa: …Fine… SPECIAL WIPE MEMORY MOVE NUMBER TWO!

Everyone except Riza, Roy, and Lexxa: -forget about Riza/Roy's raping story-

Lexxa: Now, Roy, don't forget that Riza and I have something to hold over you. Now, onto the dares! First thing!

**Poor Roy, people are so mean to you. –Hugs Roy-**

Roy: Wow, that really works…

Lexxa: It's because she hasn't seen the last chapter. Just give her a few chapters to get caught up.

Roy: …

Lexxa: Continuing!

**Everyone: I dare you all to sing, 'I'm a little tea pot.'**

Everyone: I'M A LITTLE TEAPOT SHORT AND STOUT!

Ed: HERE IS MY HANDLE

Lexxa: HERE IS MY… other handle? HOLY SHIT, I'M A SUGAR BOWL! WHY DIDN'T YOU GUYS TELL ME?

Everyone: …

Lexxa: I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT MY SO CALLED FRIENDS WOULD JUST LET ME LIVE LIFE THINKING THAT I'M A TEA POT, MEANWHILE I'M A FUCKING SUGAR BOWL!

Ed: …Sorry?

Lexxa: …It's okay. Next!

**Envy: Say you 'Love' humans.**

Envy: I see what you did there…

Lexxa: So does everyone else. Now just say it.

Envy: Okay, okay. I _love _humans.

Lexxa: Next!

**Lust: Go out into the streets of central and hug an ugly man.**

Lust: No! I don't wanna.

Lexxa: Do it or no desert!

Lust: NO! DON'T TAKE AWAY MY DESERT!

Lexxa: THEN GO HUG AN UGLY GUY!

Lust: …Fine… -goes and hugs Scar-

Scar: HEY!

Lexxa: Oh, what do you care. You're a monk. And, Lust, the dare says to go out into Central. SO GO OUT INTO CENTRAL!

Lust: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!

Lexxa: Wha?

Lust: -runs outside-

Lexxa: …Anyway…Next!

**Al: Listen to the song 'Friday' by Rebecca Black for 3 hours.**

Lexxa: Oh, the torture!

Al: It can't be that bad, right?

-three hours later-

Al: MY EARS! THEY BURN!

Lexxa: Tried to warn ya.

Al: TOMORROW IS SAT-UR-DAY!

Ed: He's finally lost it!

Lexxa: That's just what Rebecca Black's goal was. Just be thankful that he didn't have to watch the music video.

Ed: …There's a music video?

Lexxa: Yep! Now, to everyone at home, BEWARE FRIDAY AND REVIEW!

_Al: Which seat should I take?_

_Roy: The trunk. Now shut up._

_Ed: Don't say that to my brother! Only I can threaten him! And, Al, you can take the seat under my wheels._

_Riza: It's not the poor boy's fault, so leave him alone…_

_Winry: Did anyone see my lotion?_

_Ed: …That was yours?_

_Winry: Ed…What did you do with my lotion?_

_Ed: …_

_Winry: ED!_

_Ed: IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT IT SMELLED SO GOOD!_

_Roy: I don't want to know…_


	40. McDonald's Prank and Pirate King

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Winry: I never get any dares!

Lexxa: Well, do you want to be tortured like everyone else?

Winry: …No…

Lexxa: Then shut up. Today's reviewer is petaltailify97!

Al: Wait, why didn't you do anything yesterday?

Lexxa: I wrote this, but my internet was being weird and not letting me upload it…

Al: Oh…

Ed: Wait, what happened to the whole Olivier vs Pirate King thing?

Lexxa: …Weird… petaltailify97 asked that same question…

Olivier: I won. But, was there every any doubt?

Lexxa: …Yes…

Olivier: -death glare-

Lexxa: -death glare-

Ed: AH! CHICK FIGHT!

Roy: -runs into room- WHERE?

Al: …What's wrong with you people?

Olivier: -continuing death glare- They think that somehow the girls will stop fighting and start kissing. And then fall for them. Even though they're lesbians.

Lexxa: -continuing death glare- Well, actually they could be bisexual…

Roy: KISS! KISS! KISS! KISS!

Lexxa and Olivier: -point death glares at Roy-

Roy: -crumples under death glares-

Lexxa: Anyway, Olivier! You won, so you get to have the prize that petaltailify97 says you can!

**Whoever won gets a year's supply of free ice cream, and make the loser massage their feet with the ice cream as if it was lotion.**

Olivier: …Does he have to massage my feet with ice cream?

Lexxa: Yes he does. PIRATE KING!

Pirate King: I still don't know who I am!

Lexxa: Very nice, now FOOT MASSAGE TIME!

Pirate King: JACKPOT!

Lexxa: …Yeah, since I don't know who he is, he's just going to be the weirdo that mothers hide their kids from.

Pirate King: BOO YA!

Lexxa: …Next…

**Riza: You must eat a whole 5 pounds of sushi on another date with Roy, who has to eat a chicken of Riza's choosing.**

Riza: …Hate…sushi…

Lexxa: Yeah, we got that.

Roy: Eat…chicken?

Lexxa: Yep! Riza, pick a chicken!

Riza: THAT ONE! –points to chicken-

Roy: NO! THAT'S CAMILLA AND I'S ADOPTED CHILD!

Lexxa: And now it's dinner. Have fun with your sushi, Riza!

Riza: -scowl-

Lexxa: INTO THE ROOM!

Roy and Riza: -go into room-

Lexxa: Next!

**Scar: Since Lust has to act as a child, go to McDonald's and order her a kids meal by using the drive-thru and talking in a cross between Canadian and a German accent, and I don't care how long it takes for them to understand what you're saying!**

Lexxa: …Awesome dare…

Scar: …Why?

Lexxa: Because she (I'm assuming that petaltailify97 is a she, based on her profile. Sorry if I'm wrong!) told you to.

Scar: …Fine… -turns to leave-

Lexxa: Wait! –grabs video camera- I'm coming with you.

Scar: …Why me?

Lexxa: Because it's hilarious.

Scar and Lexxa: -go into car- -drive to McDonald's-

Scar: -at drive thru- -in weird accent- I WANT A KID'S MEAL!

Lexxa: -snickering-

Drive Thru Lady (DTL): …What?

Scar: KID'S MEAL!

DTL: …What?

Scar: I WANT A KID'S MEAL!

DTL: …Sir, there's no need to yell…

Scar: KID'S MEAL! KID'S MEAL! I WANT A FRIGGEN KID'S MEAL!

Lexxa: …He cursed…

DTL: Stop yelling at me!

Scar: THEN GIVE ME MY MUTHAFUCKING KID'S MEAL!

Lexxa: …Potty mouth…

DTL: Did you just curse at me?

Scar: YEAH, NOW WHERE'S MY KID'S MEAL?

DTL: Sir, I don't have to take this.

Scar: WHERE THE HELL IS MY KID'S MEAL?

DTL: I'm calling the manager.

Lexxa: Shit! Peel out, man! PEEL OUT!

Scar: -drives away from McDonald's _very_ fast-

Lexxa and Scar: -arrive back at the studio-

Lust: Where's my kid's meal?

Scar: …

Lexxa: Well, we _had_ it, but then some man came up and mugged us. Thankfully, all they took was the kid's meal. Sorry, sport.

Lust: …

Ed: What the fu-

Lexxa: Moving on!

**Envy: Go to the park for the whole course of the day and turn into your freaky lizard form and offer to let little kids ride on you for a quarter, and no using any of them as ingredients for the philosophers stone.**

Envy: Not even one?

Lexxa: No.

Envy: Aw… -goes to park-

Lexxa: Lust! Take my camera and video tape it for me!

Lust: No! I never got my kid's meal!

Lexxa: I'll go back later and get you a new one.

Lust: But I wanted the old one!

Lexxa: …This one will have a toy.

Scar: But didn't the other one-

Lexxa: Shh!

Lust: Yay! –runs after Envy with video camera-

Lexxa: You don't just tell a kid that when you're making them bend to your will!

Scar: …You make it sound so evil…

Lexxa: Because it is. Moving on!

**Hohenheim: You never get any dares, so I dare you talk and act like Tarzan for the next 3 chapters and take Ed with you when you swing around on a convenient jungle vine that was recently installed in the room.**

Lexxa: YOUR NAME IS SO LONG!

Hohenheim: Yes.

Lexxa: You are known as Van when it's your line now, because I'm too lazy to type Hohenheim all the time.

Van: …Did you just break the fourth wall?

Lexxa: …Shit. Wait, aren't you supposed to be Tarzan?

Van: …Me Hohenheim.

Lexxa: Good boy. Now, TAKE EDWARD AND SWING!

Van: -grabs Ed-

Ed: -screams at Van-

Lexxa: Shut up, Ed! Take it like a man! While they do that…

**Al: take Greece with you into the role playing thingy, make a separate account for him, and make pretend characters to prank Winry by pretending to be America and Britain!**

Greece: Role play?

Al: Come on! –drags Greece with him into computer lab-

Lexxa: I hope that they have fun.

Van: Ed heavy.

Ed: WHAT THE HELL? YOU'RE MY DAD!

Van: Hohenheim has no kids.

Ed: Did you just disown me?

Lexxa: I would.

Ed: WHY?

Lexxa: Just to say that I disowned my child.

Ed: …You're creepy.

Lexxa: Yep. So, yeah, review! Next chapter we're going to watch the highlights of Envy's rendezvous!

_Winry: OH MY GOD, PEOPLE! BRITIAN REPLIED TO MY THREAD!_

_Ed: …_

_Al: …_

_Greece: …_

_Winry: What?_

_Al: Nothing._

_Riza: Absolutely nothing._

_Greece: You don't by chance remember the last dare, do you?_

_Winry: No… Should I?_

_Ed: No…_


	41. Introducing Ichigo and Chicken Marriage

Lexxa: Welcome yet again to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ed: …Am I the only one who's noticed that Nikolas hasn't been here for a while?

Lexxa: Yeah… He got a girlfriend, so he's spending his time with her instead of here…

Al: That makes sense.

Lexxa: …DITCHER!

Ed: …Then who's going to be your co-host?

Lexxa: Do I really need one, though?

Al: Things are better with co-hosts.

Lexxa: …Okay then. To everyone reading this, fear not if you do not know this character! You do not need to know this character or his role in the anime/manga. EVERYONE, PLEASE WELCOME ICHIGO KUROSAKI FROM BLEACH!

Ichigo: AH! HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?

Lexxa: The power of fanfiction.

Ichigo: …Fanfiction?

Lexxa: Yes, fanfiction.

Ichigo: …Wha?

Lexxa: For this chapter, you must go watch Fullmetal Alchemist and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood so that you can understand who's who. Now, go into the theater.

Ichigo: …Theater?

Lexxa: -points to room-

Ichigo: -goes into room-

Lexxa: There's my new co-host!

Ed: …Nikolas will live on in our hearts.

Lexxa: Oh, no. He's going to be guest starring in future chapters. When he's not with his girlfriend.

Al: Yay!

Ed: Al! Why are you cheering?

Al: …I liked Nikolas…

Lexxa: I did, too. Anyway, today's chapter is brought to you by Doc!

Ed: Doc!

Lexxa: Yes, it is Doc!

Ed: Is she going to be nice again?

Lexxa: I don't know. Let's see! First up!

**You all are so awesome, here, we all go to Carmines! That super fancy Italian place in NY!**

Lexxa: Yay! New York! It's going to be so great being back home!

Ed: …You're from New York?

Lexxa: Yeah, but my family moved down here to Texas…

Al: That's a huge move…

Lexxa: Yeah… Hey, I wonder… Where are all of my readers from? While I wait for answers, TO CARMINES!

Everyone: CARMINES! –goes to Carmines-

-three hours later-

Everyone: -returns from Carmines-

Lexxa: Amazing. Just amazing.

Ichigo: -poking head out of room- What's going on out here?

Lexxa: Did you finish watching Fullmetal Alchemist?

Ichigo: …No… -goes back into room-

Lexxa: Next!

**Roy: Marry Camilla. It would be funny, and would make my day.**

Roy: CAMILLA! WILL YOU MARRY ME?

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Roy: IT'S A YES! OH, I AM SO HAPPY!

Lexxa: …Right…

Roy: We must start planning the wedding right away!

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Lexxa: …Have fun with that. Meanwhile… NEXT!

**Edward: You… Um… I can't think of anything at the moment, so how about oyou and Al just play Calvinball, okay? The rules are anything you make up.**

Ed: …Calvinball?

Al: What's Calvinball?

Lexxa: Whatever you want it to be. Did you not hear Doc?

Ed and Al: -goes into Calvinball room-

Lexxa: Next!

Ichigo: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DAMN NOISE?

Lexxa: FINISH WATCHING FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST, ALREADY SO YOU CAN JOIN IN ON THE FUN!

Ichigo: -goes back into room-

Lexxa: As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, next!

**Mei and Winry: You are the cheerleaders.**

Winry: WE'RE THE WHAT?

Lexxa: Cheerleaders. Now, go put on the outfits.

Mei: Outfits?

Lexxa: -points to room-

Mei and Winry: -walk curiously into room-

Winry: OH, HELL NO!

Lexxa: OH, HELL YES!

Mei and Winry: -come out in cheerleading outfits-

Lexxa: Go into the Calvinball room and cheer. Winry, Edward. Mei, Alphonse.

Mei and Winry: -go into Calvinball room-

Lexxa: The last dare's for everyone, so we must wait.

-three hours later-

Ed, Al, Mei, and Winry: -come out of Calvinball room all sweaty-

Lexxa: Ew, you're stinking up the joint. –hands cologne/perfume- Spray.

Ed, Al, Mei, and Winry: -spray themselves with cologne/perfume-

Ichigo: -comes out of room- Finally finished.

Lexxa: Already?

Ichigo: The DVD player has this thing where it can be fast forwarded and still hear everything that's going on.

Lexxa: Okay then.

Ichigo: …HOLY CRAP! THE PEOPLE FROM THE SHOW ARE HERE!

Lexxa: …Yeah…

Ichigo: THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!

Lexxa: And, not only are the people here, you're on a dare show where people can send in dares and the people have to do them. Even better, the people can dare _us_ to do stuff.

Ichigo: …Sweet!

Lexxa: Now, Ichigo, your first duty is to go get Roy from that room. –points to room-

Ichigo: -goes over to room and opens door- Hey, Roy, you need to AHHH!

Lexxa: What?

Ichigo: HE WAS MAKING OUT WITH A CHICKEN!

Lexxa: Oh, yeah, that's Camilla, his finance.

Ichigo: WHAT KIND OF WEIRD CRAP HAPPENS ON THIS SHOW?

Lexxa: I'll make you read the chapters later. But now we need Roy. GO GET ROY!

Ichigo: NO WAY!

Lexxa: Baby. –goes into room- ROY! GET YOUR FIANCE AND GET OUT HERE NOW!

Roy: Wha?

Lexxa: WE HAVE ANOTHER DARE! NOW GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE BEFORE I CONFUSE CAMILLA FOR MY LUNCH!

Roy: NOOOO!

Ichigo: …Wha?

Ed: You get used to it.

Al: -nods-

Lexxa: -dragging Roy who's clutching Camilla- Now, we can get onto the final dare.

**When we're all done, EASTER EGG HUNT!**

Ichigo: AH! BOLDED LETTERS!

Lexxa: …That was the dare…

Ichigo: …Oh…

Lexxa: And you broke the fourth wall.

Ichigo: …?

Ed: We really break the fourth wall a lot on here…

Lexxa: EASTER EGG HUNT TIME!

Everyone: -teleports to field-

Ichigo: HOW'D WE GET HERE?

Lexxa: Ah, Ichigo. There is much you need to learn about this show. Anyway…

Everyone: -Easter basket appears in their hands-

Lexxa: BEGIN!

Everyone: -spends rest of day looking for Easter eggs-

Lexxa: That was so much fun!

Ed: I don't know why we don't get dares like these more often!

Lexxa: Maybe it's because it's more fun to torture you. Anyway, review!

Ichigo: Wha?

Lexxa: Review. How do you think we get all these dares?

Ichigo: Oh.

Lexxa: You seriously need to read the other chapters. Anyway, review!

Roy: The wind!

Ichigo: …The wind?

Lexxa: That's it. –drags Ichigo back to studio and into computer lab-

_Ichigo: Can someone explain why I need to be on here?_

_Ed: Yeah, someone dared us to be on a role playing site. _

_Ichigo: Oh._

_Winry: Ed… That reply on my thread… WHY IS IT THERE?_

_Ed: I thought you wanted people to reply so that it could keep going._

_Winry: My post was about a girl that was about to die. Yours was about clowns._

_Ed: So?_

_Winry: IT'S TOTALLY IRRELEVANT!_

_Ed: Who says irrelevancy is a bad thing?_

_Winry: It's bad on a forum. _

_Ichigo: …Wha?_

_Lexxa: Ichigo, did you finish reading the chapters?_

_Ichigo: …No…_

_Lexxa: Go finish the chapters._


	42. Envy Rides and Kids Meals

Ichigo: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Lexxa: And now Ichigo actually knows what's happening!

Ichigo: -hugs Roy- I am so sorry that the horses ruined your mind.

Roy: …Wha?

Lexxa: Yeah, Ichigo actually has sympathy…

Ichigo: These dares are brought to you by Doc!

-advertisement-

Announcer: Yes, it's Doc! Doc is your go to person for awesome fanfictions and awesome dares.

-end advertisement-

Ichigo: …What just happened?

Lexxa: An advertisement!

Ed: …I've only seen this once before…

Lexxa: Yes, only once before.

Ichigo: …First dare!

**First off, can I see the feed of Envy at the park? I wish to use it as blackmail. For my brother.**

Lexxa: I knew I forgot about something! Anyway, YEAH!

-on computer-

Envy: Ride me for a quarter.

Kid: Mommy! Can I ride the scary dragon thing?

Mom: Now, Billy, what have I told you about riding strangers?

Kid: …It's not good to ride strangers…

Mom: Good.

-later-

Envy: HEY, KID! I'M NOT A TISSUE!

-later-

Envy: Ride me for a quar-

Random person: -sprays pepper spray in Envy's eyes-

-off computer-

Lexxa: That was awesome!

Everyone except Envy: -laughing-

Envy: SHUT UP!

Lexxa: Okay… okay… next…

**Since Ichigo just go here and deserves some dare time, how about this, make out with Camilla.**

Ichigo: I DON'T WANT TO DIE A FIREY DEATH!

Lexxa: Don't worry. Unless if Doc dared it, which the odds are not in favor of, I won't let Roy kill you.

Ichigo: …Still… It's a chicken…

Lexxa: A beautiful chicken.

Ichigo: … -makes out with Camilla-

Lexxa: Next!

**Roy: BURN THE F***ING POSER WHO DARED TO KISS YOUR CHICKEN!**

Ichigo: I THOUGHT YOU SAID DOC WOULDN'T DARE HIM!

Lexxa: Incorrect. I said that the odds weren't in favor of it. I never said that it wouldn't happen. Roy, BURN HIM!

Roy: HOW DARE YOU KISS MY CAMILLA! –snaps fingers-

Ichigo: -running around on fire-

Lexxa: -laughing her ass off- Okay, next… before I die…

**Lust: Here's a Happy Meal. For a girl. Enjoy the Squinkie-thing!**

Lust: KID'S MEAL!

Ichigo: IS NOBODY GOING TO HELP ME?

Lexxa: Nope.

Ed: You shouldn't have kissed his fiancé.

Ichigo: I WAS DARED TO!

Al: Yeah, but, dude. That's just not something that you do.

Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: Moving on!

**Whomever wants to take this: GO JOIN A CIRCUS!**

Armstrong: I WILL JOIN THE CIRCUS!

Lexxa: Really?

Armstrong: IT HAS BEEN MY DREAM SINCE I WAS A BOY.

Envy: -thinking for a moment- You weren't always a boy?

Armstrong: What?

Envy: You said since you were a boy. Does that mean that you used to be a girl?

Lexxa: AHA! I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT LIKES TO TAKE APART SAYINGS!

Armstrong: I'M LEAVING! I'M SURE THAT THEY'LL APPRECIATE ME AT THE CIRCUS WAY MORE THAN YOU APPRECIATE ME HERE! –runs into Central-

Lexxa: …

Ichigo: HEY! I'M STILL BURNING HERE!

Lexxa: Oh, yeah, Roy! Cut it out!

Roy: BUT HE KISSED MY CAMILLA!

Lexxa: I'll throw you to the Mary-Sues.

Roy: -stops-

Ichigo: -is no longer on fire- Ow…

Lexxa: Then don't kiss his chicken.

Ichigo: Bu-

Lexxa: MOVING ON!

**Edward: A Homunculus is a little person, so technically, wouldn't you be considered a homunculus? Now join you homunculi brothers! **

Lust: Hey!

**And sister!**

Lust: Better…

Ed: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: You're a homunculus now. Deal with it.

Al: You mean Brother's one of the people that we've been fighting?

Ichigo: -nods-

Al: I TRUSTED YOU! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THAT?

Ed: AL! I SWEAR THAT I'M NOT A HOMUNCULUS!

Lexxa: But you're a little person.

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE!

Lexxa: You!

Greed: Come here, Brother!

Al: HE'S MY BROTHER!

Gluttony: AND OURS!

Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: …Nothing…

Ed: I'M NOT A FREAKING HOMUNCULUS!

Lust: What? Are you ashamed of us?

Ed: What?

Lexxa: Gosh, even I don't hate my family enough to disown them.

Ichigo: Same here, and my dad wakes me up by kicking me in the face!

Ed: AT LEAST YOU HAVE A DAD!

Van: That hurt…

Ichigo: Look at what you did now!

Lexxa: Yeah, so please review!

_Hohenheim: …Why, Ed?_

_Ed: You weren't there for most of my life, so you are not my father._

_Winry: Paternity tests beg to differ._

_Ed: There's a difference from being the father, and being a father!_

_Al: …Wha?_

_Ed: Nothing._

_Lexxa: Are you guys bringing your problems on the chat box again?_

_Ed: …No…_

_Ichigo: Don't lie to us…_

_Al: I'm not. I'm just confused over what Ed said…_

_Lexxa: Van, you're the one who started this. Into the cellar._

_Hohenheim: The cellar?_

_Ichigo: Yeah, the cellar. Have fun._


	43. Yoruichi and Elricest

Lexxa: Welcome to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome back, Sushi Hawkeye!

Lexxa: RIZA! I SWEAR IF YOU SAY YOU HATE SUSHI ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR TONGUE OUT!

Riza: …But I hate it…

Lexxa: -lunges at Riza-

Ichigo: -holds Lexxa back- Relax!

Lexxa: -relaxes-

Ed: …I think she finally snapped…

Al: It was bound to happen some time.

Lexxa: I didn't snap… -goes a little cross eyed-

Ichigo: …What the hell?

Ed: We must put her in a mental hospital!

Ichigo: Okay… -puts Lexxa in mental institution-

Winry: I hope that you know that nobody respects you on this show. You're not forceful enough.

Ichigo: It's okay. I'll bring in Yoruichi.

Yoruichi: What am I doing here, Ichigo?

Ichigo: You need to help me. If the people don't do their dares, do your punishment force stuff on them for me, please?

Yoruichi: …Sure, why not?

Ichigo: Yay! First from Sushi Hawkeye!

**Riza: . .demons. Why? Because I like sushi. My friends like it. Otakus like it. So there. I can't believe I used to hate that stuff. But not anymore.**

Riza: But sushi is awful!

Ichigo: Lexxa likes sushi…

Riza: BUT IT SUCKS ASS!

Yoruichi: Don't disagree with… what was her name? Sushi Hawkeye?

Ichigo: -nods-

Yoruichi: So, yeah. Don't disagree with Sushi Hawkeye unless if you want to see my skills.

Riza: …I will not disagree with Sushi Hawkeye…

Yoruichi: That's right.

Ichigo: Next!

**If that's what happened, why, just why, are you still his lieutenant? ARE YOU CRAZY?**

Riza: …I don't know why I'm still his lieutenant…

Ed: Wait, what happened?

Roy: Nothing!

Al: Bu-

Roy: Absolutely nothing happened!

Ichigo: …I'll have to ask Lexxa later…

Yoruichi: Next?

Ichigo: Next.

**Al, you don't want to know Elricest. Trust me. It might be worse than 'Friday'.**

Al: Nothing can be worse than Friday…

Ed: …Yes…There is something worse than Friday…

Al: Is Elricest really that bad?

Ed: Yes! It was so horrible! –starts crying hysterically-

Ichigo: …Must ask Lexxa about Elricest later…

Yoruichi: Why don't we just ask this Lexxa person now?

Ichigo: Because she's mentally unstable. Next!

**Ed: before anything, I dare you to sing Barbie Girl. Then say, "I'm too sexy for my automail, so sexy it hurts." With actions and emotions for both shortstuff.**

Ed: WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT THAT HE'S CONSIDERED A MIDGET AMONGST THE OTHER MIDGETS?

Yoruichi: …What?

Ichigo: He does that sometimes… just leave it alone…

Yoruichi: …Okay.

Ichigo: Now, Edward, you need to sing Barbie Girl…

Ed: I swear I've done this before…

Ichigo: Yeah, but this time you don't have Roy. Now sing.

Ed: …I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN A BARBIE WORLD! LIFE IN PLASTIC IS FANTASTIC! –sings rest of song-

Yoruichi: …This is a messed up show…

Ichigo: I know, I know. Now, Ed, do the second part of the dare…

Ed: -sighs- …I'm too sexy for my automail, so sexy it hurts.

Yoruichi: -holds back laughter-

Ed: HEY! WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

Yoruichi: Nothing, nothing…

Ichigo: Let's move on.

**Get revenge on Mustang. Make him wear a bubblegum pink miniskirt. Don't forget this indestructible camera for blackmail.**

Ed: NOBODY WANTS TO SEE THAT!

Yoruichi: Revenge?

Ichigo: Earlier Roy was dared to put a miniskirt on Edward.

Yoruichi: …Cross dressers.

Roy: …What do you mean, nobody wants to see that?

Ed: I mean that you're going to scar everyone for life!

Ichigo: No he won't now, Roy, just put on the miniskirt.

Yoruichi: You approve of this cross dressing?

Ichigo: Not really, but it's a hell of a lot easier to agree than to disagree.

Roy: -takes miniskirt into room- -comes out in said miniskirt-

Ichigo: Edward, take pictures.

Ed: Wha? Why?

Yoruichi: Because Sushi Hawkeye gave a camera to you for this purpose.

Ed: No! I will not expose the camera to something so hideous!

Yoruichi: -steps closer to Ed- Then do you want to play a game?

Ed: …What game?

Yoruichi: A game called Don't Do the Dare and I'll Whoop Your Ass.

Ed: …Please tell me that it's a card game…

Yoruichi: Nope.

Ed: -takes pictures-

Yoruichi: Good.

Ichigo: Next.

**You really know Elricest? And you sure you can take it? Since you're being proud and reckless, read a few Elricest fanfics in that room. **

Ed: Okay. –goes into room-

Yoruichi: Elricest?

Ichigo: -whispers into Yoruichi's ear-

Yoruichi: DO PEOPLE REALLY DO THAT ON THIS SHOW?

Ichigo: NO! I swear that it's just in fanfiction. In the show Edward proposes to Winry. Nothing to do with Alphonse. I swear.

Al: I wanna know!

Yoruichi: No you don't… You do not want to know…

Ed: -comes out of room shaking- WHO THE HELL THINKS OF THAT CRAP?

Ichigo: I don't know… but there's more.

**Don't want Alphonse to know don't you? Sorry shorty. **

Ed: DON'T TELL AL!

Al: But I want to know!

Ed: No you do not!

Yoruichi: You're too young to be exposed to such terror.

Ichigo: Well, Ed, you have one question.

**WHAT DID YOU DO TO WINRY'S LOTION?**

Yoruichi: What?

Ichigo: Earlier Edward did something to Winry's lotion.

Yoruichi: I kinda figured.

Ichigo: Now, Edward, tell us all what you did to her lotion.

Ed: …

Yoruichi: Edward…

Ed: FINE! I'll tell you. I…I…

Winry: He rubbed it all over himself and said that he was the King of the Fairies.

Ed: WINRY!

Winry: What? They would've found out anyway.

Ichigo: …Really, Edward?

Ed: …Yes…

Guy from Psych-ward: TAKE HER BACK! –throws Lexxa in room-

Ichigo: Is she better?

Lexxa: Yeah.

Guy from Psych-ward: NO SHE ISN'T! SHE'S EVEN MORE INSANE THAN WHEN SHE CAME IN!

Yoruichi: What exactly did she do?

Guy from Psych-ward: She said that she had a Mary-Sue with a spork and threatened to use it on the other patients!

Ichigo: Yeah, she's better.

Lexxa: Bye bye!

Guy from Psych-ward: -runs away-

Lexxa: Wait a second… YORUICHI! –hugs Yoruichi-

Yoruichi: WHO IS THIS PERSON?

Lexxa: I'm Lexxa!

Yoruichi: So you're the one who's known as Lexxa?

Lexxa: Yep! And you're my favorite person on Bleach!

Yoruichi: Bleach?

Lexxa: Oh, yeah… Sorry. I can't tell you without breaking the fourth wall.

Yoruichi: Fourth wall?

Ichigo: It's almost broken way too much on this show.

Yoruichi: Ichigo, wasn't there something you wanted to ask Lexxa?

Ichigo: Oh, yeah! What happened between Roy and Riza?

Lexxa: …Nothing… Absolutely nothing… -menacing glare pointed at Roy- And nothing's going to happen… Right?

Roy: Right! Right, right. Nothing's going to happen. And nothing did happen. Absolutely nothing.

Lexxa: Now, let's move on.

**Lust: you sound so cute! Contest between you and Eliscia. The cuter one wins a happy meal, candy, and whatever a kid **

**Hughes! No bribery!**

Hughes: Aw…

Lexxa: Elicia and Lust! Into the cuteness ring!

Ichigo: We have a cuteness ring?

Lexxa: We do now.

Elicia and Lust: -go into cuteness ring-

Lust: I WANT A TURTLE!

Elicia: DOLLY!

Lexxa: It's so cute!

-one cute competition later-

Lust: -faints-

Ichigo: Elicia won.

Elicia: Don't challenge the best!

Lexxa: Vicious…

Yoruichi: I like it.

Ichigo: Here you go, Elicia! –hands Elicia prizes-

Elicia: Yay!

Lust: NOO! I WANT A KID'S MEAL, TOO! I WANT A KID'S MEAL! I WANT A KID'S MEAL! –throws temper tantrum-

Lexxa: No. You didn't win, so you don't get one. End of story.

Ichigo: Hey, Lexxa, the next one's for you.

**Lexxa: nice one. Now, when I think about Nutcracker, I think about poor Ling. XD here's a few Snickers bars. And the Pirate King is the Fuhrer aka Wrath.**

Lexxa: That makes sense!

Bradley: So I'm the one that lost to Olivier?

Lexxa: Guess you're not as manly as you thought.

Bradley: -goes to emo corner-

Lexxa: Let's move on, shall we?

**Poor Ling. How in Amestris did you get lost? Can't you just follow your gut or something? XD or were you in the part of town where there were a lot of restaurants and you couldn't decide where to done?**

Ling: Hey! It's not my fault that some people decided to mug me!

Yoruichi: Weakling.

Ling: I'm not weak! They just caught me off guard…

Lexxa: Well, if they caught you off guard, then you're weak.

Ed: -sneaks up behind Lexxa-

Lexxa: -hits Ed in the face- See? I'm on guard.

Ichigo: I just gained some new respect for you.

Yoruichi: Same here.

Lexxa: Yay! Now, let's move on!

**Now a treat for everyone. I hate summer heat even though I like summer so I dare all of you to go to a waterpark resort. Have fun!~~ Ed! Don't drown! And so that Al will enjoy, he gets his body back if he hasn't already. ^^**

Al: …But I have my body…

Lexxa: Well Sushi Hawkeye didn't know that! She just wanted to make sure that you had fun.

Ichigo: TO THE WATERPARK!

Everyone: -teleports to waterpark-

Lexxa: Okay, so while we enjoy this water, review!

_Ichigo: Who hacked my account?_

_Ed: What do you mean?_

_Ichigo: Somebody hacked my account and posted yaoi. Now who was it?_

_Roy: …_

_Ichigo: ROY! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!_

_Roy: I'M SORRY! I JUST COULDN'T RESIST!_

_Lexxa: Yay! Physical violence!_

_Al: …Shouldn't you, as the moderator, say no to physical violence?_

_Lexxa: …No…_


	44. Dates and Numa Numa Song

Ichigo: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Yoruichi: Am I going to be a regular on here, now?

Lexxa: Why don't we let the readers decide?

Ed: No! Not the crazy chick!

Ichigo: At least that you knew that she was a chick before she transformed into human form!

Yoruichi: -chuckles- You act so innocent.

Lexxa: …You're awesome.

Ichigo: …Anyway…

Yoruichi: Who's the reviewer?

Lexxa: xxDangerousPiexx!

Yoruichi: …That name is awesome…

Lexxa: -nodding-

Nikolas: Ego visitans!

Subtitles: I'm visiting!

Lexxa: Yay! Now everyone's here!

Yoruichi: …Who's he?

Nikolas: Sum Nikolas.

Subtitles: I'm Nikolas.

Lexxa: He's my old co-host.

Yoruichi: …Why does he have subtitles?

Lexxa: His mother dared him to speak Latin for a week and for me to speak Greek for three chapters. I got subtitles, but he didn't. After my three chapters were up, I gave him my subtitles.

Yoruichi: …His mother asked him to do this?

Lexxa: Yes.

Ichigo: First dare?

Lexxa: Sure!

**Ed & Winry: I dare you guys to go on a date…and have a good time! *Takes Winry's wrench* No hitting.**

Winry: But I love hitting people with my wrenches…

Yoruichi: I now have some kind of respect for you.

Lexxa: Edward Elric and Winry Rockbell, GO ON YOUR DATE!

Ed and Winry: -go into room-

Yoruichi: They're kinda cute together.

Lexxa: Not to the Risembool Rangers. They want to kill Winry.

Ichigo: …Didn't you say that you were a Risembool Ranger?

Lexxa: Yeah, but not to that extreme. I'm just talking about the hard core ones.

Yoruichi: …What?

Roy: JOIN MY MINISKIRT ARMY!

Yoruichi: -kicks Roy in the nuts-

Lexxa: YAY! A SEQUEL TO THE NUTCRACKER!

Yoruichi: What?

Ichigo: …You have to read the earlier chapters to understand.

Nikolas: Quin transeundum?

Subtitles: Why don't we move on?

**Roy: Listen to the "Numa Numa" song for three hours. Enjoy~**

Roy: …What kind of name is Numa Numa?

Lexxa: A name. INTO THE ROOM OF DOOM!

Nikolas: Es nominando mansiunculas nunc?

Subtitles: You're naming the rooms now?

Lexxa: Sure, why not?

Roy: -goes into Room of Doom-

Lexxa: Now, just leave him in there with the song on loop, and maybe he'll be even more traumatized!

Yoruichi: …You're kinda evil…

Lexxa: Nah, I've just been watching abridged series.

Ichigo: Which are the equivalent of raw evil.

Lexxa: Yeah…

Yoruichi: Moving on!

**Al: You really don't want to know what Elricest is…it'll steal your innocence**

Al: BUT I WANT TO KNOW!

Lexxa: …No you don't.

Al: PLEASE! EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS WHAT IT IS!

Lexxa: …Fine. But you asked for it. Ichigo, do you want to take this one?

Ichigo: …Sure… Al, have you ever had the birds and bees talk?

Al: …Yeah…

Ichigo: Well, Elricest is basically you and your brother having some birds and bees stuff between each other.

Al: GROSS!

Lexxa: Tried to warn you.

Al: WHO WOULD THINK OF THAT?

Lexxa: Nameless has accidentally came across one where you were raping your brother…

Al: -covering his ears- I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Yoruichi: …

Lexxa: I love this show. But… I feel kind of bad for traumatizing the poor boy…

Yoruichi: …Bitches be trippin.

Lexxa: What?

Yoruichi: Bitches be trippin.

Ichigo: WHY MUST THE BITCHES ALWAYS BE TRIPPIN?

Lexxa: Yeah, while you guys are having fun being high on your stupid juice, I'm going to move on to the next dare.

**Lexxa: I'm glad you're out of the mental place. *Shifty Eyes* I dare you to pull a prank on Yoruichi**

Lexxa: Yeah!

Riza: What are you going to do?

Lexxa: It involves everyone on this show and the chat box...

Riza: Nice. I'll make sure that everyone cooperates.

Lexxa: Then remember to review…

_Lexxa: Are all of the sacrifices available?_

_Ed: Yes, Dark Mistress._

_Lexxa: Excellent. Our plans can now be put into motion._

_Al: But what will we do with the other?_

_Lexxa: Ah, yes… That Yoruichi girl… Throw her in the dungeon._

_Yoruichi: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?_

_Lexxa: Why nothing, Yoruichi. May I ask why you're eavesdropping on our conversation?_

_Yoruichi: WHAT ARE YOU GUYS PLANNING?_

_Lexxa: Oh, just the destruction of all mankind._

_Winry: But now that you know this…_

_Ichigo: We have to kill you._

_Yoruichi: THEY GOT YOU TOO, ICHIGO?_

_Ichigo: Of course not. I'm the one who gathered them all together._

_Lexxa: And he said that I was now the head of all operations._

_Riza: And you're in our way._

_Yoruichi: WHY?_

_Al: But there's one last thing you should know…_

_Yoruichi: …_

_Lexxa: This._

_Ichigo: Is._

_Ed: A._

_Al: Prank._

_Hohenheim: GOTCHA!_


	45. Crossdressing and Tamaki

Ichigo: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Lexxa: Doc's back!

Al: Doc sure does review a lot…

Lexxa: Yep!

Ichigo: First thing!

**I'm bringing in my friend, Tamaki, from Ourons High School Host Club. *throws Tamaki in* have fun, Tama-chan~**

Tamaki: Where am I?

Lexxa: Why don't we let Armstrong say this one?

Armstrong: THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DARE SHOW OF DOOM! –sparkles-

Tamaki: Okay then…

Ichigo: I'm not from Fullmetal Alchemist!

Lexxa: No, you're from Bleach. Why is it named Bleach, anyway?

Ichigo: I don't know. Maybe the person was bleaching their hair when they thought of the idea…

Lexxa: Interesting…

Ichigo: Moving on!

**Everyone except Envy, CROSSDRESSING TIME!**

Envy: Why am I excluded?

Lexxa: Because you already crossdress.

Envy: Not true! I don't have a gender!

Ichigo: If you don't have a gender, then how can you crossdress?

Envy: …

Lexxa: I WIN!

Ichigo: Everyone needs to crossdress now, don't we…

Lexxa: Yep!

-one hour later-

Everyone except Envy: -crossdressed-

Lexxa: CROSSDRESSERS!

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: Oh, whenever I see a crossdresser, I yell crossdresser at them. Same thing with jaywalkers.

Ed: …Good to know…

Lexxa: Says the man in the dress.

Ed: -blushing- But it's comfortable…

Lexxa: That's what everyone says. Just be thankful that you don't have to wear the heels.

Ichigo: …Anyway…

Lexxa: That's all for this chapter!

Ichigo: Review!

Scar: I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS!

Lexxa: …Sure you are…

_Scar: Pretty princess!_

_Ed: Shut up about being a pretty princess already!_

_Scar: You really think I'm pretty?_

_Ed: …I set myself up for that one._

_Al: Yes you did, Brother._

_Winry: You know, crossdressing for girls isn't nearly as bad as it is for boys. At least if you're a girl crossdresser everyone just assumes that you're tomboy or something. _

_Ed: You could be considered lesbian._

_Winry: Yeah, but guys like lesbians._

_Al: …What?_

_Ed: YOU RUINED HIS INNOCENCE!_

_Lexxa: No ruining innocence! That's my job._


	46. Russian Orders and Lexxa Mobile

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Are you going to remember to post this chapter?

Lexxa: Yes! I'm so sorry! –thinks of the irony that would come if Lexxa forgot to post chapter-

Ed: …How many times have you forgotten to post a chapter?

Lexxa: Only two!

Ichigo: Two too many.

Lexxa: -shifty eyes- Anyway…

Ichigo: Hello again, xxDangerousPiexx!

Al: I LOVE PIE!

Roy: 3.14159265-

Lexxa: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Roy: Al said that he liked pi…

Lexxa: PIE! P-I-E, NOT P-I!

Roy: …Oh…

Al: I like pi, too…

Roy: HAHA! 3.14159265-

Lexxa: SHUT UP! Let's go to the first thing.

**WINRY. Stop ruining people's lives! *Hits Winry with a hammer* That's Lexxa's job.**

Winry: THAT HURT!

Lexxa: Then don't ruin others' lives. It's not nice.

Winry: You're one to talk about not being nice.

Lexxa: WHAT WAS THAT? –steals Ichigo's zanpakuto (which is the equivalent to a huge ass sword)-

Winry: NOTHING! –cowers in corner-

Ichigo: GIVE ME BACK ZANGETSU! (the sword's name) –takes back zanpakuto-

Lexxa: Next!

**Hey Tama-Chan! *Hugs Tamaki***

Tamaki: At least I know what's going on around here now…

Lexxa: Did you make an account on the role playing site?

Tamaki: …What?

Lexxa: INTO THE COMPUTER LAB! –throws Tamaki in computer lab-

**Envy you got burned. Anyway, I want you to go to Burger King and talk in Russian while ordering your food. Have fun Envy~**

Envy: …How'd you know that I speak Russian?

Lexxa: Magic. And, here, you get your very own subtitles!

Envy: SWEET!

Subtitles: SWEET!

Lexxa: TO THE LEXXA MOBILE!

Ed: …Isn't it Bat Mobile?

Lexxa: No. That's Batman's. I'm Lexxa, thus Lexxa Mobile.

Ed: …Oh…

Lexxa: -drags Envy into car with camera-

Envy and Lexxa: -arrive at drive thru-

DTL (Drive Thru Lady): Hello and welcome to Burger King. May I take your order?

Envy: ДАЙТЕ ПИТАНИЯ!

Subtitles: GIVE ME FOOD!

DTL: …What?

Envy: ДАЙТЕ ПИТАНИЯ!

Subtitles: GIVE ME FOOD!

DTL: …I can't understand your accent.

Envy: ДАЙТЕ ПИТАНИЯ!

Subtitles: GIVE ME FOOD!

DTL: If you don't stop yelling I'm going to get the manager.

Envy: Дерьмо!Пух!

Subtitles: Shit! The fuzz!

Lexxa: Okay… Let me order for you…

DTL: Thank you so much!

Lexxa: GIVE ME FOOD!

DTL: …What kind of food?

Lexxa: GIVE ME FOOD!

DTL: That's all well and fine but-

Lexxa: WHERE'S MY FOOD?

DTL: I'm calling the manager.

Envy: Вы никогда не будете ловить меня в живых, котлы!

Subtitles: You'll never catch me alive, coppers!

Envy: -peels out-

Lexxa and Envy: -arrive back at studio-

Scar: Not so fun, is it Envy?

Envy: No. I enjoyed myself.

Scar: But-

Envy: I enjoyed myself.

Lexxa: Envy knows how to have fun.

Ichigo: …Next…

**Al, I dare you to get Pop Rocks and drink pop with it. They will make your mouth feel like a fire work. xD**

Al: …Pop Rocks? What's that?

Lexxa: -evil grin- This is going to be fun. –hands Al Pop Rocks and Dr. Pepper (because Dr. Pepper is the chizz)- Put these in your mouth at the same time.

Ed: Is this anything like the third chapter where you made him hug the rabid cat?

Lexxa: …No…

Al: -puts Pop Rocks and Dr. Pepper in mouth- AHHHH! WHAT KIND OF WITCHCRAFT IS THIS?

Lexxa: My kind of witchcraft.

Ed: AL! STAY AWAY FROM TRUTH! I SWEAR THAT GUY MIND RAPED ME!

Lexxa: Ahhh… Truth…

Al: -calms down- …I think it's done… -sits for a moment- AHHHH! IT'S BACK!

Lexxa: Why yes it is.

Ichigo: …Can I have some Pop Rocks?

Lexxa: Sure. –hands over Pop Rocks-

Ichigo: -eats Pop Rocks- Sweet.

Lexxa: Final!

**Ed…I just wanted to give you a hug. *Hugs Ed* And some dark chocolat…*Gives Ed chocolate***

Ed: …CHOCOLATE! –eats chocolate like Cookie Monster would devour cookies-

Lexxa: …I'm surprised that he's not fat…

Ichigo: I FUCKING LOVE POP ROCKS!

Lexxa: …Good to know…

Al: THEY ALMOST KILLED ME!

Lexxa: …New weapon against Alphonse…

Ed: What?

Lexxa: Nothing. Review!

Ichigo: POP ROCKS ARE THE CHIZZ!

Lexxa: Nope, that's Dr. Pepper.

Al: …Yeah, Dr. Pepper is the chizz…

Lexxa: Until next time, remember that snakes can kill you.

Tamaki: …What?

Lexxa: Snakes can kill you.

Tamaki: …

_Tamaki: Hello?_

_Ed: I'M HIGH ON CHOCOLATE!_

_Al: POP ROCKS WERE CREATED BY THE DEVIL!_

_Ichigo: NO WAY! POP ROCKS ARE THE AMAZING!_

_Tamaki: …Is this normal?_

_Lexxa: Yes. Yes it is. _

_Hohenheim: …Who gave Ed chocolate?_

_Ed: XXDANGEROUSPIEXX!_

_Hohenheim: …There's a reason why you didn't get chocolate as a kid…_

_Ed: I LOVE YOU, XXDANGEROUSPIEXX!_

_Lexxa: xxDangerousPiexx isn't on our role play site…_

_Ed: Doesn't change the fact that I love her._

_Winry: I thought you loved me!_

_Lexxa: Stop being whiny. _

_Ichigo: POP ROCKS!_


	47. Nullmetal Alchemist and the Shuffle

**Disclaimer: I just want you to know, half of the jokes in here are from Nullmetal Alchemist by faulerro. I suggest you watch it, because it is the most epic abridged series for Fullmetal Alchemist I've seen. Just letting you know.**

Lexxa: THIS IS THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DARE SHOW OF DOOM!

Ichigo: …Why are you yelling?

Lexxa: IT'S FUN!

Armstrong: I AGREE!

Ichigo: …Are you sane?

Lexxa: -slaps Ichigo with shoelace-

Ichigo: …Yeah. You're good.

Lexxa: I WIN!

Ed: …Are you hyper?

Lexxa: …Maybe…

Ichigo: Or did you just watch more Nullmetal Alchemist?

Lexxa: IT'S LIKE THE BEST ABRIDGED SERIES EVER!

Ichigo: Yeah, she just watched Nullmetal Alchemist.

Lexxa: WHAT IS GOING ON? I DON'T HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CLUE. I JUST SLAPPED A COW!

Al: …What?

Lexxa: Theme.

Ichigo: …Welcome back, petaltailify97!

Lexxa: MAJHALL?

Ichigo: …No… petaltailify97…

Lexxa: AL. GET ME MY TOP HAT.

Al: What?

Ichigo: I think she's spitting off quotes from Nullmetal Alchemist…

Lexxa: THEN I'LL MAKE ONE! –claps hands- MAGIC JUST GOT REAL!

Ichigo: If you're going to quote it, then at least do the advertisement!

Lexxa: ADVERTISEMENT!

-advertisement-

Announcer: Do you want to watch the most epic abridged series of Fullmetal Alchemist? Then go to You Tube and watch Nullmetal Alchemist!

Warning Guy: Warning: Not approved for small children or people allergic to British accents.

-end of advertisement-

Lexxa: FIRST FROM PETALTAILIFY97!

**Ed and Roy: You are hereby forced to take hosting lessons from Tamaki and put what you learned from him to use on Winry and Camilla at the end of the chapter by taking them out for dinner and dancing(at least your ballroom dance training will be put to good use) on a double date, and you have to be perfect gentlemen the entire time.**

Lexxa: INTO THE ROOM OF TRAINING! –throws Ed and Roy into Room of Training- YOU TOO, TAMAKI! –throws Tamaki into room as well-

Ichigo: …Let's move on before she quotes Nullmetal Alchemist again…

**Homunculi: Learn how to do the shuffle dance and perform it for everybody during the dinner date while playing the Party Rock Anthem song by LMFAO.**

Lexxa: EVERYDAY I'M SHUFFLING!

Ichigo: …Do you know how to shuffle?

Lexxa: …No…

Envy: …What's shuffling?

Greed: Card shuffling?

Lexxa: NOPE! TIME FOR THE DANCE ROOM! –throws Lust, Gluttony, Envy, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, and Pride into Dance Room-

Ichigo: …Holy shit…

Lexxa: What?

Ichigo: …I forgot that Pride was here…

Lexxa: …I did, too…

Armstrong: MOST UNFORTUNATE!

Lexxa: MOVING ON!

**Winry: NO WRENCH BRINGING! Or bringing up anything USUK related.**

Winry: But USUK is my life…

Lexxa: NOT TONIGHT!

Winry: …Must you keep yelling?

Lexxa: YES! NEXT!

**Ling: You have to pay for all of their date, and I don't care how you come up with the money!**

Ling: Man, I thought that my mugging days were over…

Everyone: …

Ling: TIMES WERE TOUGH! Don't be hatin…

Lexxa: DON'T HURT ME!

Ling: I'm not going to hurt you! I'm just going to harm innocent bystanders! –goes out into Central-

Lexxa: NEXT!

**Scar: You can borrow Xiao Mei for a week if you keep your pretty princess dress on are the wartress for their date. And you cannot yell the phrase "YOUR FACE EXPLODES!" for the rest of the week.**

Scar: …I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS!

Lexxa: EXPLODING LADIES!

Ichigo: …More quotes…

Scar: I'M A PRETTY PRINCESS!

Ichigo: Am I surrounded by insane right now?

Lexxa: YEP!

Ichigo: …Next…

**Al: I have found something even worse than Friday or Elricest! You must listen to Baby by Justin Bieber, Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley, and Barbie Girl at the same time while watching the music video for Friday for 5 hours!(and you are allowed to cuddle a kitty to console you at any time during the dare.)**

Al: Why do I always get the ones involving music?

Lexxa: BECAUSE YOU DO. HERE'S YOUR KITTY! –throws kitty at Al's face-

Al: AHHH! –catches kitty- WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

Lexxa: FOLLOW THE RIGHTEOUS PATH OF GOD OR ELSE HE WILL BREAK YOUR PELVIS!

Ichigo: …What the hell?

Lexxa: YOUR FACE!

Scar: …Must…resist…urge…

Lexxa: EXPLODES!

Ichigo: …Alphonse, just go into the Room of Doom and do your dare… please…

Al: Anything to get away from Lexxa… -goes into Room of Doom-

Lexxa: NEXT!

**Kimblee: You are the must person who must watch all the episodes of Hetalia and have to act just like America (Eat burgers all the time, call yourself the Hero, etc.) for the rest of the week. (Eric Vale voices both of them, btw)**

Lexxa: BTW STANDS FOR BY THE WAY!

Ichigo: Good girl! Do you want a cookie?

Lexxa: -nods-

Ichigo: Does the Lexxa want a cookie?

Lexxa: -nods-

Ichigo: Here! Lexxa gets a cookie! –hands Lexxa cookie-

Lexxa: -snatches cookie and huddles in corner- MINE!

Ichigo: …Note to self: Don't bother Lexxa when she's hyper and has a cookie…

Roy: That sounds safe…

Kimblee: …America?

Ichigo: Into the Screening Room!

Kimblee: -goes into Screening Room-

Lexxa: -has cookie crumbs all over mouth- NOW THAT THAT'S ALL DONE, DATE TIME!

Winry: …

Camilla: -pecks ground-

Lexxa: ICHIGO! GET EDWARD, ROY, AND TAMAKI OUT OF THE ROOM OF TRAINING!

Ichigo: -retrieves Ed, Roy, and Tamaki-

Ed: …Date time, isn't it?

Lexxa: YOU KNOWZ IT!

Ed: …Knowz?

Lexxa: Knowz.

Ichigo: Now to the Date Room!

Lexxa: …When did we get a Date Room?

Ichigo: Right after you decided to name all of the rooms.

Lexxa: …MAJHALL!

Ed: Not this again!

Lexxa: …The British are hilarious.

Ichigo: Yes. Yes they are.

Lexxa: GET THE OTHERS!

Ichigo: -gets the others- ONTO THE DATE!

Everyone: -goes into Date Room-

Ed and Winry: -sit at one table-

Roy and Camilla: -sit at a different table-

Scar: -walks up to Ed and Winry in pretty princess dress- I'm Scar, your waitress for the evening. What may I get you to drink?

Ichigo: Holy shit… He's actually good at this…

Ed: Water.

Winry: Water.

Lexxa: BUT DR. PEPPER IS THE CHIZZ!

Ichigo: Shut up!

Lexxa: -death glare-

Ichigo: -crawls into emo corner

Scar: -goes to Roy and Camilla's table- I'm Scar, your waitress for the evening. What may I get you to drink?

Roy: Dr. Pepper.

Camilla: Bawk.

Roy: But, dear, don't you think that it's too early for wine?

Camilla: Bawk.

Roy: She'll have water.

Scar: -goes into kitchen-

Lexxa: -goes up to microphone- HELLO, EVERYONE! BEFORE I MAKE MY ANNOUNCEMENT, ISN'T MY MICROPHONE AMAZING?

Ichigo: JUST ANNOUNCE IT ALREADY!

Lexxa: Fine. PLEASE WELCOME THE HOMUNCULI AS THEY PREFORM TO PARTY ROCK ANTHEM BY LMFAO!

Homunculi: -come out and shuffle-

Ed, Winry, Roy, and Camilla: …

Homunculi: -finish dance and leave-

Scar: HERE'S THE WATER AND DR. PEPPER!

Lexxa: DR. PEPPER IS THE CHIZZ!

Ichigo: -facepalm-

Kimblee: -bursts into room- I AM THE HERO!

Lexxa: Well, you may be the Hero, but you're not the chizz.

Kimblee: WHERE'S MY BURGER?

Lexxa: YOUR FACE IS YOUR BURGER!

Kimblee: -tries to eat face-

Ichigo: Okay, let's just wrap this up.

Lexxa: Fine. Okay, so while you guys finish up your date, I'm going to preach at my readers!

Ichigo: …I hope that you're not going to get on your soap box…

Lexxa: -steps on top of soap box- I AM! NOW, READERS, I WANT REVEIWS! REVIEWS WERE INVENTED BY GOD, SO THERE FOR, THEY ARE AWESOME. THAT IS ALL.

_Ling: God, you people eat a lot!_

_Ed: Says the man who eats anything and everything!_

_Ling: I had to mug fifty people to cover your bill!_

_Al: Ling, that's not something that you admit…_

_Winry: …WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? WE COULD'VE MUGGED TOGETHER!_

_Ling: Next time I'll keep that in mind._

_Lexxa: REMEMBER THAT NULLMETAL ALCHEMIST IS AMAZING!_

_Ed: We get it!_

_Lexxa: No, you don't get it. You won't get it until you start threatening to eat Father Cornello!_

_Cornello: What?_

_Lexxa: My point exactly._


	48. Pop Rocks and Pi Pie

Lexxa: This is the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Have you wound down?

Lexxa: Yes…

Ichigo: Good girl.

Lexxa: -growls-

Ichigo: …Bad girl!

Lexxa: -attacks Ichigo-

Ichigo: GET HER OFF ME!

Lexxa: Anyway, Doc is back!

Ed: Ah, yes, Doc. Doc the person that takes pleasure in ruining our lives.

Lexxa: Yes. Doc and I share the same interest. Making you all want to go to the loony bin.

Al: I thought that _you_ were the one that went to the loony bin…

Lexxa: ONE TIME! THAT ONLY HAPPENED ONE TIME!

Ichigo: Chill!

Winry: Become like that turtle that you used to preach about.

Lexxa: Hey, man. I'm gonna eat some lettuce. –starts munching on lettuce-

Ed: Where did she get the lettuce?

Ichigo: I think that it's better if we don't ask…

Lexxa: FIRST DARE!

**Ichigo: You love Pop Rocks, huh? I personally don't like them, but I'll send you a years supply if you do one thing. *evil glint* I want you to… (omg suspense!) DRESS LIKE A GIRL! **

Lexxa: Ichigo! Come hither!

Ichigo: -comes hither- What?

Lexxa: Secret dare!

**Haruhi to be exact, and without anyone knowing that you're you, give Tamaki a kiss. Because I say so.**

Ichigo: NO FUCKING WAY!

Lexxa: Be quiet before people hear you! Now you're going to do the dare. Into the Room of Changing!

Ichigo: …Weird name… -goes into room-

Lexxa: While he changes, NEXT!

**Ed: So I've found your weakness. *evil glint and thoughtful face* Be sure to know that I'm going to hold that against you. Same with Al and Pop Rocks.**

Ed: -looks defeated-

**Don't give me that look. It's my nature.**

Ed: …How did she know that I was going to look that way?

Lexxa: You're just predictable like that.

Ed: -shrinks into emo corner-

Ichigo: -comes out of room dressed like Haruhi-

Tamaki: HARUHI!

Ichigo: -walks up to Tamaki- -gives a kiss-

Tamaki: -kisses back-

Ichigo: WAIT!

Tamaki: …When did your voice get so manly?

Ichigo: DOESN'T THIS COUNT AS YAOI?

Lexxa: Nope. I mean, it would if it got any more serious than kissing, but I'm not a homophobe. KILL THE HATE, MAN!

Tamaki: …What do you mean by yaoi?

Ichigo: -rubs off makeup and takes off wig- I'M ICHIGO, DAMMIT!

Tamaki: AHHH! –rinses mouth very thoroughly-

Ichigo: -runs into the Room of Changing-

Lexxa: Next!

**Roy: You like pi, huh? So does my brother. Now I dare you to make a pie (p-i-e) using pi abount of each ingredient. This I gotta see.**

Roy: PI!

Lexxa: Have fun with your pi pie.

Al: Pi pie?

Lexxa: Pi pie.

Ichigo: -comes out of room- NOW LET'S MOVE ON BEFORE I GO INSANE! AND, TAMAKI! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!

Tamaki: …You betrayed me…

Lexxa: Don't take it personally. He was forced to do it.

Tamaki: But he kissed just like he-

Ichigo: MOVING ON!

Lexxa: …Kisses like a girl…

**Envy and Scar: So Envy likes languages, huh? And Scar hates them? Well I'm daring them both to speak only in Japanese. With subtitles. ^^**

Envy: ああファック！

Subtitles: Fuck yeah!

Scar: ...くそ...

Subtitles: …Dammit…

Lexxa: Yay! I love Japanese!

**Icee machine: I dare you to squirt everyone walking by you with Icee syrup!**

Lexxa: YEAH! THE ICEE MACHINE GETS A DARE!

Roy: -comes out with pi pie- What?

Lexxa: …That pie… It looks deformed…

Roy: Yeah, apparently it needs more than just pi amount of certain things… Like crust… And filling…

Lexxa: I know what will make you feel better! Have an Icee!

Roy: Okay! –goes to Icee machine-

Icee machine: -squirts Roy-

Roy: I LOVE THIS THING!

Lexxa: …Roy, I think that you're even more mentally disturbed than I am… I like it…

Al: Well I don't!

Lexxa: NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU DO AND DON'T!

Ichigo: Until next time!

Lexxa: Review your face off!

Scar and Envy: はい！

Subtitles: Yes!

_Scar: I don't like speaking in Japanese…_

_Lexxa: Hey! Did I tell you to speak English?_

_Scar: …__なし…_

_Subtitles: …No…_

_Lexxa: AWESOME! WE GET SUBTITLES ON HERE, TOO!_

_Al: Is that even possible?_

_Ed: Don't question it!_

_Ichigo: …I will never forgive you, Lexxa._

_Lexxa: Eh, worse things have happened._


	49. Underpants and Lederhosen

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: And today we are very lucky because…

-sirens start going off- -confetti falls to the ground-

Lexxa and Ichigo: IT'S A NEW REVIEWER!

Lexxa: DinRose, to be exact.

Ichigo: And she has some awesome dares…

Ed: …Torturous ones?

Lexxa: Yes. First!

**I dare Ed to get up on stage in his underpants singing "I'm too sexy for my shirt"**

Ed: Didn't Roy do this already?

Lexxa: Yep!

Ichigo: But it'll happen as many times as the reviewers want.

Ed: … -jumps on stage in underpants- I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT! TOO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT! SO SEXY IT HURTS!

Lexxa: Yay! Next!

**I dare Roy to dress up in leiderhosen (those outfits the Swiss wear) and sell girl scout cookies. It makes perfect sense.**

Lexxa: Agreement.

Roy: LEDERHOSEN! –goes into Room of Changing-

Ichigo: …I wouldn't trust that man around my kids…

Lexxa: When did you get kids?

Ichigo: Figure of speech, Lexxa. Figure of speech.

Roy: -jumps out of Room of Changing in lederhosen- I'M BACK!

Lexxa: And we're all happy for you. Now, INTO THE STREETS OF CENTRAL!

Roy: -jumps into streets of Central-

Lexxa: -follows Roy with camera- Shh!

Roy: DO YOU WANT MY GIRLSCOUT COOKIES?

Lady: …No…

Roy: HEY, YOU! MISTER! DO _YOU_ WANT ANY GIRLSCOUT COOKIES?

Guy: No…

Roy: HELLO, MA'AM! DO YOU WANT ANY GIRLSCOUT COOKIES?

Lady With Handbag: GET AWAY FROM ME, FREAK! –hits Roy with purse in nuts-

Roy: -falls to the ground- These…lederhosen…provide…no…protection…against…hags…with…handbags…

Lady With Handbag: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HAG? –kicks Roy in nuts-

Roy: -face twists with pain-

Lexxa: …Let's get back to the studio… SCAR! DRAG ROY WITH YOU!

Scar: -picks Roy up from ground-

Everyone: -back in studio-

Lexxa: …Bad idea… NEXT!

**I dare each of the characters to say "Katelyn is awesome!" in their own special way.**

Ed: Why?

Lexxa: Because her name is Katelyn, and she's awesome.

Ed: Fine. Katelyn is AWESOME!

Al: Katelyn is the most awesome person ever!

Roy: Katelyn…is…awesome…

Scar: KATELYN IS SO AWESOME THAT I WON'T BLOW UP HER FACE!

Armstrong: KATELYN GAINS EXTREMELY HIGH POINTS IN THE TOPIC OF AWESOMENESS!

Father: Katelyn has an awesome quality to her…

Kimblee: KATELYN WOULD MAKE AN AWESOME BOMB!

Lust: I must admit, Katelyn does seem awesome…

Gluttony: Can I eat her? She sounds like she would taste awesome…

Envy: YOU CAN'T EAT HER! She's too awesome.

Greed: She's so awesome that I bet she has everything.

Sloth: She's…awesome…such a pain…

Wrath: Katelyn's so awesome that I bet she can beat me at a duel.

Pride: Katelyn's awesome…So I won't use my shadows…

Izumi: …I bet that she's so awesome that she can beat me at hand to hand combat.

Van: She's so awesome that I wouldn't have abandoned her.

Ed: HEY!

Lexxa: SHUT UP, ED! Marcoh, your turn.

Marcoh: She's so awesome that I would give her my Philosopher's stone.

Tucker: I bet she would make an awesome chimera…

Lexxa: TUCKER! THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING!

Olivier: She's so awesome that I would treat her as an equal.

Breda: She's just flat out awesome.

Brosh: She's awesomesauce.

Ross: She's so awesome that I bet she would help me escape the country that one time…

Sheska: She's so awesome that I bet she's read all of the most amazing books!

Falman: She's awesome just because.

Fury: She's so awesome that I bet she would take my dog…

Lexxa: Nope, she hates dogs.

Ed: How do you know this?

Lexxa: I read her profile…

Havoc: She's so awesome that I would hit on her every day!

Roy: And I would steal her.

Riza: She's so awesome that I would…let her borrow my guns…

Hughes: She's so awesome that if I knew her I would brag about her and not my daughter!

Yoki: She's so awesome that I bet she wouldn't have kicked me out of my town…

Ed: ONE TIME, MAN! IT WAS ONE TIME!

Fu: She reeks of awesome.

Lan Fan: I can sense her awesomeness a mile away.

Ling: She's so awesome that I bet she would buy me lunch…

May: SHE'S AWESOME!

Barry the Chopper: She sounds like she would be fun to cut up, and that's awesome!

Rose: She sounds so awesome that she would convert to Letoism!

Ed: But we exposed that phony!

Rose: Doesn't mean that I can't still believe in it…

Winry: She's so awesome that I would let her borrow my wrench.

Lexxa: Okay, I think that was everyone, and, just for the hell of it, Ichigo! Tell her how awesome she is!

Ichigo: She's so awesome that she's allowed to hide in my closet!

Lexxa: …That's just creepy…

Ichigo: But Rukia did it…

Lexxa: BUT SHE'S NOT RUKIA! AND I DON'T EVEN THINK SHE WATCHES YOUR SHOW! But, DinRose, I recommend it. It's called Bleach.

Ichigo: And I have no idea why!

Lexxa: Katelyn is so awesome because she has awesome dares.

Nikolas: I'm visiting!

Lexxa: Good, because you have a dare!

**I dare Nikolas to let me be his sidekick.**

Nikolas: I GET A SIDEKICK!

Lexxa: Sure do! Have fun!

Nikolas: -runs off to find his sidekick-

**I dare Ed to slap a kitten in front of Al**

Lexxa: Here you go! –hands over fake kitty upon DinRose's request-

Ed: But it's-

Lexxa: Shhh… just slap it.

Al: DON'T HURT THE KITTY!

Ed: But, Al, it's-

Lexxa: JUST SLAP IT!

Ed: -shrugs- -slaps kitty-

Al: NO! ED, HOW COUD YOU?

Ed: Here. –tosses kitty to Al-

Al: -catches kitty- IT'S FAKE!

Lexxa: Nope, you just caught it wrong and killed it.

Al: NO!

Lexxa: Yep. Be more careful next time!

Ichigo: …Moving on…

**Ed, I dare you to hang out with Prussia, France, and Spain for a whole week. I'm sure they'll drive you nuts.**

Lexxa: …So much Hetalia…

France, Prussia, and Spain: Where am I?

Lexxa and Ichigo: THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DARE SHOW OF DOOM!

France: …Okay…

Lexxa: You are all hereby ordered to hang out with Edward. Have fun!

Prussia: HOW DARE YOU ORDER ME AROUND!

Lexxa: -grabs Ichigo's zanpakuto- BRING IT!

Ichigo: DAMMIT! GIVE ME BACK ZONGETSU ALREADY!

Lexxa: I MUST FIGHT THIS POSER!

Ichigo: …He's not a poser, he's just a man with the name of a country…

Lexxa: POSER!

Ichigo: -grabs zanpakuto- DON'T TAKE MY ZANPAKUTO WITHOUT ASKING, DAMMIT!

Lexxa: …Next!

**Ed and Al: both deliver Easter to small Scottish children including Kimblee, because we all know he likes skirts. And skorts.**

Kimblee: It's true.

Ed: Okay, where's the Easter crap?

Lexxa: Here! –hands over bag-

Ed: Al and I are off to a Scottish orphanage. See ya!

Lexxa: Next!

**Roy, sit through a sappy film about dying chickens. The movie is ten hours long and you can't complain. Enjoy~**

Roy: NOT DYING CHICKENS!

Lexxa: Yep! INTO THE SCREENING ROOM! –throws into Screening Room-

Ichigo: Oh, yeah, by the way, Lexxa tends to rename the rooms all the time…

Lexxa: Yep! Well, that was it! Until next time shampoo squirrels!

_Ed: Man, Scottish orphans are vicious…_

_Al: I think that one peed on me…_

_Winry: Aw! That's so adorable!_

_Lexxa: No it's not! It's gross!_

_Scar: Seriously, Winry… What's wrong with you?_

_Winry: …I don't know…_


	50. King of the Fairies and the Chizz

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?

Lexxa: …Practicing for color guard…

Ed: HOW DARE YOU ABANDON US ALL!

Lexxa: …But I made it…

Al: So it's okay to abandon us with Ichigo?

Ichigo: Hey!

Lexxa: …Sorry?

Ichigo: No! Sorry doesn't cut it!

Lexxa: …I have pie…

Ed: PIE! –grabs pie-

Ichigo: …All is forgiven…

Lexxa: Good because Sushi Hawkeye is back!

Riza: …

Lexxa: So you've learned.

Ichigo: First!

**Riza, you are hopeless.**

Riza: HEY!

Lexxa: Don't interrupt the bold words!

**If Lexxa had said, "I SWEAR IF YOU SAY NEGATIVE STUFF ABOUT SUSHI ONE MORE TIME, I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR TONGUE OUT!", you would've ended up without a tongue. **

Lexxa: True that.

Riza: …

Lexxa: Moving on!

**Anyways, no plan on quitting? Or maybe have him court martialed if possible?**

Riza: …I've forgiven him…

Al: WHAT DID HE DO?

Lexxa: Nothing!

Roy: I never did anything…

Riza: …Absolutely nothing…

Ichigo: …Anyway…

**Ed: I swear you didn't react this badly to being called shortstuff before. *shrugs* I thought you'd do anything to get revenge on Mustang for being a jerk to you. Oh well. More blackmail material for me. :) If you don't behave, well, I don't know what to do with these horrible doujins I found online…maybe make Al read'em? so behave yourself. **

Ed: …You wouldn't dare…

Lexxa: I think she would dare…

Al: I thought that the reason she was on here was because she had dares…

Lexxa: …Bad joke, dude… Just a bad joke…

Ichigo: …Let's move on before she's motivated to use them…

**Since you're fine, I assume you didn't drown?**

Ed: …

Lexxa: He almost did.

Al: After that we made sure he wore a life jacket.

Roy: Kinda funny considering that Al's the one who would have an excuse for not being a strong swimmer.

Ed: SHUT UP ALREADY! AREN'T THERE MORE DARES?

Lexxa: Yes, but there's still something for you.

**But, really. The King of Fairies?**

Ed: …

Winry: -nodding-

Lexxa: …I guess that he wanted to be Edward Cullen for a while.

Ed: -sulks in emo corner-

Lexxa: Next!

**Wow Elicia. Congratulations champ!**

Elicia: I _always_ win.

Lust: NOT FAIR!

Lexxa: …

Ichigo: NEXT!

**See Hughes? No need to waste precious money. Now throw your bribery money around for everyone.**

Hughes: -throws money-

Everyone: -grabs money-

***snags a few bills***

Lexxa: SHE WAS PREPARED!

Ichigo: Scary!

Al: Shall we continue?

Lexxa: Yeah! And, Ling, you're up next!

**Ling. Weakling. Weak Ling. Weak.**

Ling: SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

Lexxa: I think that she's highly educated in the field.

Ichigo: …Did she just say something smart?

Lexxa: I can be intelligent when I choose to. It's just I'd rather be the unpredictable character that I most usually am.

Roy: THE WORDS! THEY HURT!

Riza: …And you're only thirteen?

Lexxa: Yes…

Ichigo: …What the hell?

Lexxa: MOVING ON!

**Caught off guard? You're the prince! How can you be caught off guard with all your supposed training and stuff?**

Ling: SO WHAT? I CAN'T HAVE AN OFF DAY?

Lexxa: Chill…Become one with your inner turtle…

Ichigo: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Lexxa: Come on, let's go eat some lettuce…

Roy: LETTUCE!

Ichigo: …How did I even end up here?

Lexxa: I made you.

Ichigo: …Moving on…

***turns to random tough guys* great job, you saved me a fortune.**

Ling: HEY! THEY'RE THE PEOPLE WHO JUMPED ME!

**Hey, you weren't supposed to remember them!**

Lexxa: MAGIC!

Ichigo: It just got real.

Lexxa: Indeed.

Al: …What?

Lexxa: Don't you remember when I was making all those references to Nullmetal Alchemist?

Roy: I get it!

Random Tough Guys: -beat up Ling again-

Ling: STOP!

**Ah, continue beating him up if you guys want. Those 50 people he mugged paid me for payback.**

Ling: HOW DOES SHE KNOW THIS STUFF?

Lexxa: I told you! Magic!

Al: …I actually don't feel bad right now.

Roy: POPTART!

Lexxa: Your face is a poptart!

Ichigo: Let's just move on…

**Al, you can take beatings from Izumi but you can't handle pop rocks and soda together in your mouth? It's one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard!**

Al: BUT IT'S WORSE THAN TORTURE!

Ichigo: DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ABOUT MY PRECIOUS POP ROCKS!

**In fact, I want you to swallow pop rocks. Don't let them pop in your mouth. Let's see if your throat can handle this awesomeness. *evil laugh***

Al: I'm so scared… -swallows pop rocks- AHHH!

Ichigo: I WANNA DO THAT! –swallows pop rocks- THIS IS AWESOME!

Lexxa: But that's because they're pop rocks.

Al: THESE WERE MADE BY THE DEVIL!

Ichigo: BUT THEY'RE AMAZING!

**And yes, Ichigo, pop rocks are amazing.**

Lexxa: WITCHCRAFT!

Ichigo: …

Lexxa: BURN HER! BURN HER!

Al: I'M FREAKING OUT, MAN! FREAKING OUT!

Ed: I don't know what the big deal is… -swallows pop rocks- AHHH! WHAT THE HELL? WHO WOULD LIKE THIS EVIL?

Ichigo: IT'S THE CHIZZ!

Lexxa: Indeed. Until next time, review and remember that pop rocks are the chizz.

Ichigo: CHIZZ!

_Ed: I'm still hearing the popping noise!_

_Ichigo: Me too! Isn't it sweet?_

_Al: NO!_

_Roy: You two are wimps._

_Lexxa: Aw, does the Roy want pop rocks?_

_Roy: Sure, why not?_

_Lexxa: I'll get you some later._

_Roy: Can I have some extra for Camilla?_

_Ed: I don't think that'll work out so well…_

_Lexxa: Let him do what he wants! Sure, Roy, you can have extra._


	51. Cop Chases and China

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Doc is back!

Tucker: Doc!

Ed: Shut up, Tucker!

Lexxa: You turned your daughter into a chimera, so shut up.

Ichigo: NOBODY LIKES YOU!

Nina: But I love Daddy!

Lexxa: Of course you do, Nina. Because you're faithful like that. Unlike _some_ people. –pointed glare at Tucker-

Tucker: Oh, come on! That was such a long time ago!

Lexxa: I don't care! Let's just move on with what Doc wants to say.

**Me: *laughs* you all are worthy people. And if you wish to call the loony bin, don't. I just escaped.**

**Cop: Where is she?**

**Cop #2: There!**

Lexxa: RUN AWAY, DOC! RUN AWAY!

**Me: Crud! Better get on with this!**

**Ed- eat Roy's Pi Pie.**

Ed: But it looked so _gross!_

Roy: Hey! I put my blood, sweat, and tears into that!

Lexxa: …Not literally, right?

Roy: …No… -shifty eyes-

Ed: NOW I REALLY DON'T WANT TO EAT IT!

Lexxa: Too bad. Eat it!

Ed: … -takes a bite of pi pie- IT'S SO GROSS!

Roy: Yep! My secret recipe!

Lexxa: …Not weird at all…

Ichigo: …Next…

**Al- You too. I put in pop rocks ~**

Al: NO! IT'S THE DEVIL'S FOOD!

Lexxa: -shoves spoonful of pi pie into Al's mouth-

Al: THE POPPING! IT'S BACK!

Lexxa: Next!

**Tamaki- *laugh* You are so gullible. But here's some instant coffee. *gives Tamaki instant coffee that was replaced with dirt.**

Tamaki: COFFEE! –drinks coffee- -coughs- THIS IS THE WORST COFFEE I'VE EVER HAD!

Lexxa: That's because it was dirt.

Tamaki: EW! I DRANK DIRT!

Ichigo: Yes you did. Next!

**Mei- I'm introducing you to China from Hetalia. *throws China in* Have fun~**

**China: What the hell aru?**

**Me: Shush. Go play with the tiny panda-lover.**

**China: YAY!**

Mei: CHINA!

China: PANDA-LOVER!

Lexxa: Ah, love at first sight…

**Cop: you're surrounded!**

**Me: well that was short.**

Lexxa: Like Edward.

Ed: Wait, wha-

**Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!**

**Cop #2: *uses sedative***

**Me: Ha, ha hazzzzz..**

**Cop: We got her!**

**Me: I'l…be…back… *falls asleep***

**Cops: *leave and take me with them***

**Cop#3: Hey, isn't that the girl from before? *points to Lexxa***

Lexxa: SHIT! –runs away-

**Cop #4: You can't escape!**

Lexxa: YES I CAN! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!

Cops: -start chasing Lexxa-

**Cop#2: Get the chicken man, too!**

Roy: NO! THEY'VE LEARNED ABOUT CAMILLA! HIDE HER! DON'T LET THEM GET AHOLD OF HER!

Ed: …What's wrong with Camilla?

Ichigo: I remember Roy telling me that Camilla was an illegal alien, or something.

Al: …Can chickens even be illegal?

Ichigo: I don't know…

Lexxa: YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! I MUST BEG FOR REVIEWS!

Ichigo: I got your back! So, yeah, review!

_Winry: …Did they ever catch them?_

_Lexxa: No, I siced my Mary-Sue on them._

_Roy: How did they learn about Camilla?_

_Lexxa: …Roy, I don't think that animals can be illegal aliens…_

_Roy: CAMILLA IS A PERSON, TOO!_

_Ichigo: …Okay then…_


	52. Domo and Dog Speeches

Ichigo: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Lexxa: And this time we actually have a male reviewer!

Ed: MALE POWER!

Lexxa: But female is still dominate.

Ed: Aw…

Al: What's his name?

Ichigo: Talon Graveshadow.

Lexxa: Epic name.

Winry: It is…

Lexxa: Here are his dares!

**Al: Make friends with Domo.**

Al: I'm good at making friends!

Domo: Hey.

Al: Hello!

Lexxa: YOU TWO! INTO THE FRIENDMAKING ROOM!

Ichigo: When did we make one of those?

Lexxa: Last Tuesday.

Al and Domo: -go into Friendmaking Room-

Lexxa: Next!

**Ed: Hmmm… I got it! Admit that alchemy is evil and goes against the lows of nature, while at Central, in a miniskirt, and then say Mustang's I LOVE DOGS speech.**

Ed: …What are you on, and where can I buy some of it?

**P.s. No, Im not on anything Ed. You too Scar!**

Scar: What?

Lexxa: You'll see after Edward does his dare. NOW DO IT!

Ed: … -goes into Central in miniskirt- …ALCHEMY IS EVIL AND GOES AGAINST THE LAWS OF NATURE!

Passersby: -give Ed strange looks-

Ed: …I LOVE DOGS! DOGS EMBODY LOYALTY! THEY FOLLOW THEIR MASTER'S COMMANDS ABOVE ALL ELSE! BE A JERK TO THEM AND THEY WON'T COMPLAIN AND THEY NEVER ONCE BEG FOR A PAYCHECK! THEY'RE THE GREAT SERVANT OF MAN! OH YOU CANINE HOW WE SALUTE THEE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Lexxa: …How did he remember everything?

Roy: Not even _I _remember everything…

Ed: …Just move on… Please…

**Scar: Kill jacob from Twilight in front of his fangirls.**

Scar: BUT THAT'S A SUICIDE MISSION!

Lexxa: Yes it is.

Jacob: …How did I get here?

Fangirls: OHMIGOD IT'S JACOB! I LOVE YOU, JACOB!

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES! –blows up Jacob's face-

Fangirls: -death glare at Scar- GET HIM! –chase Scar around-

Scar: NO! SPARE ME!

Lexxa: I don't think they will. You just killed a key point of their existence.

Scar: NO!

Ichigo: Moving on…

**IGHIGOOOOOOOO!: You havent gotton many dares, so… Dye your hair blond, put on an obnoxiously bright orange and blue jumpsuit, put three whisker marks on each cheek, and end every sentence with "BELIEVE IT".**

Ichigo: …What's wrong with you?

Lexxa: What's wrong with him what?

Ichigo: …What's wrong with you…believe it…

Lexxa: That's a good boy! Now go put on the jumpsuit and draw on your whiskers!

Ichigo: -goes into the Room of Changing- -comes out in jumpsuit and wearing whiskers on his face- This is torture…believe it…

Lexxa: I like that dare. Next!

**Winry: Go to Rush Valley and assassinate all automail mechanics there.**

Winry: But then I'll get killed!

Ichigo: BELIEVE IT!

Lexxa: Perfect timing!

Winry: … -goes to Rush Valley and kills all automail mechanics-

Lexxa: RELEASE THE HOUNDS!

Everyone else in Rush Valley: -chase Winry around-

Winry: AHHH!

Lexxa: Next!

**Van: Heres a question. Where are you on the badass meter?**

Van: …On the what meter?

Lexxa: Badass meter. Are you badass?

Van: …Sure, why not?

Ichigo: …You're not badass, believe it.

Lexxa: Next!

**Envy: Do a dramatic Time Lord-like transformation into David Tennant. DOCTAH WHO FTW!**

Envy: …Who?

Lexxa: -shows picture-

Envy: -turns into David Tennant-

Ichigo: CAN WE GO TIMETRAVELING, BELIEVE IT?

Lexxa: No. Well, that's all for now! Remember to review so you can get your dares put in here!

_Ichigo: How long do I have to talk like this, believe it?_

_Lexxa: For as long as I tell you to._

_Ichigo: Crap, believe it._

_Ed: That's really irrelevant…_

_Lexxa: Yeah, sure is._

_Ichigo: Believe it._


	53. Candy Mountain and Robot Unicorns

Ichigo: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom, believe it!

Lexxa: And our reviewer is somebody that we haven't seen in a long time.

Ichigo: Chameleon52, believe it!

Ed: …Isn't that the one who made Al slap me?

Lexxa: Yeah! Now, before we go into the first dare, Roy, you must leave.

Roy: …Why?

Lexxa: …Because…um…I WANT TO GIVE YOU ICE CREAM!

Roy: ICE CREAM! –runs into Ice Cream Room-

Lexxa: Okay, now first dare.

**Ed Riza and Hughes: Kidnap Roy and take him to CandyMountian the entire time calling him Charle. Then steal his kidney. Don't tell Roy any of this.**

Ed: …Why would we want to steal his kidney?

Lexxa: I don't know! Ichigo! Get Roy!

Ichigo: -gets Roy-

Hughes: -wraps arm around Roy- Come on, Charlie! We're going to Candy Mountain!

Roy: Who's Charlie?

Riza: You are, Charlie!

Ed: We're going on a field trip to Candy Mountain!

Roy: FIELD TRIP!

Ed, Riza, Hughes, and Roy: -leave-

Lexxa: -pulling out camera- Stalker time! –follows Ed, Riza, Hughes, and Roy-

Roy: So, where is Candy Mountain?

Ed: …My gut says this direction! –runs off in random direction-

Riza, Hughes, Roy, and Lexxa: -run after Ed-

Roy: HOW LONG?

Riza: Nobody knows, Charlie. Nobody knows.

Roy: Wha? Oh yeah… I'm Charlie…

Hughes: Of course you're Charlie, Charlie!

Ed: I FOUND IT! –points to a huge mountain-

Riza: How do you know that's it?

Ed: The sign.

Sign: _This is Candy Mountain_

Hughes: What are we waiting down here for? Onward, ho! –starts hiking up mountain-

Ed, Roy, Riza, and Lexxa: -follow Hughes-

Roy: We're at the top!

Ed: Hey, can I see your kidney for a moment?

Roy: What?

Riza: We want to see your kidney.

Roy: Why do you want my kidney?

Hughes: …No reason…

Roy: …Okay then… -lays down on operation table that conveniently appears- Go ahead.

Ed: I CALL SURGEON!

Riza: I CALL NURSE!

Hughes: I CALL THE PERSON THAT DOESN'T THINK HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT!

Roy: WHAT?

Hughes: OH, CHARLIE! YOU WERE SO YOUNG! HE CAN'T DIE, DOC, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMEHTING!

Ed: GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN! –slaps Hughes- I'M AN EXPERT! THERE WILL BE NO FATALITIES ON MY WATCH!

Hughes: You really mean it?

Riza: We will do everything that we can.

Roy: …What the hell?

Ed: SURGERY TIME! –takes out surgery tools-

Riza: What do you need first, Sir?

Roy: I THOUGHT I WAS SIR!

Ed: Shut up, Charlie. I need the scalpel first.

Riza: Scalpel. –hands scalpel-

Ed: Scissors.

Riza: Scissors. –hands scissors-

Hughes: Be careful.

Ed: Shut up. Taco.

Riza: Taco. –hands taco-

Ed: Hot sauce.

Riza: Hot sauce. –hands hot sauce-

Hughes: …Why do you need hot sauce?

Ed: Do you expect me to eat my taco without hot sauce?

Hughes: …What do you need the taco for?

Ed: I'm hungry.

Roy: JUST GET THE DAMN KIDNEY OUT!

Ed: Alright, alright, sheesh. I need the scalpel again.

Riza: Scalpel. –hands scalpel-

Ed: Scissors…

Riza: Sciss-HUGHES! GIVE ME THE SCISSORS!

Hughes: HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT! HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT! –cries hysterically-

Ed: He _will_ make it if you would just hand me the damn scissors!

Hughes: Bu-

Roy: GIVE HIM THE SCISSORS!

Hughes: -hands scissors-

Ed: Okay…I need the stitching tool things…

Riza: Stitching tool things. –hands stitching tool things-

Ed: And…Okay. He's done.

Hughes: IS HE OKAY?

Ed: Nope. He's going to die.

Hughes: I KNEW IT! NO! HE WAS SO YOUNG! –goes next to Roy- DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME!

Roy: Hughes…I'm fine…

Hughes: ZOMBIE!

Riza: So it was a success?

Ed: Yes. I have the kidney! –holds up kidney-

Riza and Hughes: Ooh. Ahh.

Roy: …What the hell?

Ed: By the way, you're never getting this back.

Roy: NO!

Riza: Let's go back to the studio.

Roy, Riza, Ed, Hughes, and Lexxa: -go back to studio-

Ichigo: They're back, believe it!

Ed: I HAVE THE PRIZE! –holds up kidney-

Roy: …

Tucker: MINE! –steals kidney-

Ed: GET BACK HERE WITH MY KIDNEY!

Roy: BUT IT'S MINE!

Tucker: NO! I WANT IT!

Lexxa: Let's move on!

**Ed and Roy: Lock them in an elevator together. I just wanna see what'll happen.**

Lexxa: Edward! Roy! Elevator, now!

Ed and Roy: -go into elevator-

Roy: …I can't believe you took my kidney.

Ed: I can't believe you let me.

Roy: …Good point…

Ed: …Why are we in here?

Roy: We were dared to.

Ed: Oh.

Roy: Is it me or did you get shorter?

Ed: Is it me or did you get more annoying?

Roy: …I wonder how Camilla's doing.

Ed: Camilla's a chicken. How do you think she's doing?

Lexxa: God, this is boring! Here, we'll just do the next thing and find out what's happening.

**Lexxa: Your awesome. Here is a robot unicorn. Use it as you wish or to take over the world.**

Lexxa: WORLD DOMINATION!

Al: …Isn't that the thing that supposedly took over my body?

Lexxa: -nods- And the amazing horse.

Al: …

Lexxa: Let's see how you're brother's doing!

Roy: ONE TIME, MAN! THAT ONLY HAPPENED ONE TIME!

Ed: Yeah, but it still happened.

Roy: At least I didn't memorize the dog speech word for word.

Ed: …So…

Lexxa: …Okay…I think that's as weird as it's going to get. Ichigo! Get them out of the elevator!

Ichigo: Okay, believe it! –gets Roy and Ed out of the elevator-

Ed: Thanks.

Lexxa: One last thing!

**Yes I am really messed up thank you for pointing out the obvious Ed.**

Ed: You're welcome.

**Your still hotter than Roy though.**

Roy: HEY!

Lexxa: …It's true…

Ed: RISEMBOOL RANGER!

Ichigo: Believe it!

Lexxa: …So that's all for this chapter! Remember to review!

_Ed: Hello, everyone. Don't mind me, I'm just being hotter than Roy over here._

_Roy: SHUT UP! YOU ARE NOT HOTTER THAN ME!_

_Lexxa: Yes he is._

_Roy: NO!_

_Ed: RISEMBOOL RANGERS FOREVER!_

_Roy: MINISKIRT ARMY!_

_Ed: RISEMBOOL RANGER!_

_Roy: MINISKIRT ARMY!_

_Lexxa: Nope. Edward wins._

_Ichigo: Believe it!_

_Ed: HA! AND I STILL HAVE YOUR KIDNEY!_

_Roy: GIVE IT BACK! HOW ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DRINK?_


	54. Setting Fire to the Rain and Dancing

Ichigo: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom, believe it!

Lexxa: Everyone, give a warm welcome to Storm Dryu!

Ed: …Storm Dyru?

Lexxa: Storm Dyru.

Ichigo: Storm Dyru, believe it.

Al: Storm Dyru.

Lexxa: Now that we've said her (I'm assuming here! Sorry if I get it wrong, and please correct me!) name enough, let's go onto her (again, just an assumption!) dare!

**roy: sing and perform adele's "set fire to the rain" and attempt to DO set fire to the rain while riza makes a snide remark.**

Roy: I FREAKING LOVE ADELE!

Riza: Nobody wanted to know that about you.

Roy: Aw…

Lexxa: Just sing.

Roy: Okay! I LET IT FALL! MY HEART! AND AS IT FELL, YOU ROSE TO CLAIM IT! –sings rest of song while snapping fingers at rain outside-

Riza: You know that it's futile. –looks outside- HOW THE HELL DID HE DO THAT?

Everyone: -looks outside and sees that the rain was now on fire-

Lexxa: …This makes the last dare a little complicated.

Ed: What do you mean?

Lexxa: Nothing. You'll see later. Now, onto the next dare!

**riza: sing and dance hatsune miku's song "world is mine" wearing a similarly slutty outfit and using that hight pitched tone, in from to EVERYONE (roy included)**

Riza: …

Lexxa: Go get changed.

Riza: -goes into the Room of Changing-

Roy: -gets popcorn-

Camilla: -pecks Roy furiously-

Roy: Oh, come on! You've gotten so controlling!

Camilla: -continues to peck Roy-

Riza: -comes out in slutty outfit-

Roy: -nosebleed-

Camilla: -pecks Roy even more feverously-

Riza: …Sekai de ichi-ban ohime-sama sou iu atsukai kokoro-ete yo ne? –sings rest of song-

Roy: …What did she say?

Lexxa: I would put the translation, but I'm too lazy. The readers can look it up themselves.

Ichigo: Next, believe it!

Lexxa: Well, for this one I need Alphonse and Ichigo to come into this room with me! –drags Ichigo and Al into room-

Al: …Why?

Lexxa: Because this is a hard dare, so Ichigo and I are going to help you out a little.

Al: I'm scared now…

Ichigo: What is it, believe it?

**Alphonse: Convince everybody, including edward, that you are NOT Ed's little brother.**

Al: What?

Lexxa: That's why Ichigo and I are going to help you!

Ichigo: TEAMWORK, BELIEVE IT!

Lexxa: …Yeah… Let's go! –drags Al and Ichigo back out-

Ed: What was the dare?

Lexxa: He had to say he liked dogs better than cats.

Ed: Then why was he in another room?

Lexxa: Because he had to do it in front of a camera so that I could use it against him.

Roy: That's nice.

Ed: …Okay then…

Riza: So, Al, while you were gone, your brother-

Al: What brother?

Ed: Me!

Al: You're not my brother.

Ed: What? Come on, Al, you know that you're my brother!

Lexxa: …No he's not…

Ichigo: What are you talking about, believe it?

Roy: Al and Ed are brothers…

Al: No…

Lexxa: You _wish_ he was your brother.

Ed: WE ARE BROTHERS, DAMMIT!

Ichigo: Woah there, man, believe it… Calm down, believe it…

Ed: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN UNTIL AL ADMITS THAT HE'S MY BROTHER!

Al: But I'm not your brother!

Riza: …What's going on here?

Al: Ed and Roy keep on making false accusations. Like I would really be Ed's brother.

Ed: …That hurt…

Lexxa: …And?

Ed: We're brothers…

Al: NO WE'RE NOT!

Ichigo: Why do you keep saying that, believe it?

Ed: …Was it all a dream then?

Al: Must've been.

Havoc: BUT YOU'RE HIS BROTHER!

Lexxa: Why do you guys keep saying that?

Riza: I'm fairly certain that you're his brother, Al…

Al: But I'm not!

Roy: …You know, I've been getting drunk at night and it _is_ a possibility that I dreamt all of that…

Riza: …Is it possible that all of us could have had the same dream?

Al: Apparently.

Ed: But…but…You're my brother…

Al: No I'm not.

Ed: …You're not?

Lexxa: He's not.

Ichigo: -shakes head- Believe it.

Winry: …Well then…

Lexxa: And the best actor award goes to, ALPHONSE ELRIC!

Al: -bowing- Thank you!

Ling: What just happened?

Lexxa: That was his real dare.

Ichigo: He had to make you all believe that he wasn't Ed's brother, believe it.

Ed: That was cruel, Al.

Al: I'M SORRY, BROTHER!

Lexxa: Next dare!

**Edward: Let's see…I dare you to dance to "matryoshka" with mustang (cuz i just really wanna piss of mustang)**

Roy: LET'S DO THIS THING!

Ed: …But I'm still hurt that Al would do that to me…

Roy: -drags Ed to stage-

Ed and Roy: -dance to Matryoshka-

Camilla: -pecks ground-

Lexxa: Now for the complicated last dare!

**Everyone: If roy DOES succeed in stting fire to the rain, you all have to dance under that rain.**

Roy: How is that complicated?

Lexxa: Well, not complicated so much as difficult.

Riza: LET'S GET THIS DANCE PARTY STARTED!

Ed: Wow, Riza…Way to come out of your shell…

Roy: It's the booze that I put in her soda.

Lexxa: LET'S DANCE IN THE FIRE RAIN!

Everyone: -dances in fire rain-

Ed: -catches on fire-

Lexxa: PUT HIM OUT!

Ed: -gets put out-

Lexxa: Until next time, remember that if you ever get lost, lick a puppy.

Havoc: How's that going to help?

Lexxa: …It just is…

_Ed: I'm still hurt._

_Al: How many times do I need to apologize?_

_Ed: No, I mean the burns that I got._

_Lexxa: -bad joke time- YOU JUST GOT BURNED!_

_Roy: Camilla won't talk to me._

_Riza: Sir, she's a chicken._

_Roy: AND YOU'RE A HORRIBLE LIEUTENANT!_

_Lexxa: But Camilla's literally a chicken…_

_Roy: SHE CAN'T HELP WHAT SHE IS!_


	55. Ed's Daughter and Al's Freedom

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This chapter is out of order with the reviews, but Lexxa felt that she must do it.

Lexxa: It's because I have twelve more chapters to write, so Nameless's thing is going to be more easily done this way.

Ichigo: And Tammy251 only had one dare.

Lexxa: But before we go into Nameless's thing, I have an announcement! GATHER ROUND, CHILDREN!

Everyone: -gathers round-

Lexxa: NAMELESS HAS PROCLAIMED HERSELF AS A RISEMBOOL RANGER!

Ed: POWER TO THE RANGERS!

Lexxa: Not to be confused with the sports team. Anyway, second announcement. MY FRIEND, PERSON, HAS PROCLAIMED HERSELF A MEMBER OF THE MINISKIRT ARMY!

Roy: MINISKIRT ARMY!

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Roy: Don't be jealous!

Lexxa: So, Nameless's thing is:

**Since Lexxa has been so mean to Alphonse, he does not have to do any dares for the next five chapters!**

Al: Finally!

Lexxa: But, the sixth chapter is going to be dedicated to the dares that you didn't get.

Al: Aw…

Lexxa: ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS!

Ichigo: Tammy251's turn!

**I dare Olivier to put on the tutu fake fairy wings and grab a magic wand and run around Central saying she's a Fairy Princess.**

Ed: Wait… If I'm the King of all Fairies… And she's a Fairy Princess…

Al: BROTHER! HOW IS YOUR DAUGHTER OLDER THAN YOU?

Olivier: I AM NOT HIS DAUGHTER!

Ed: HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT YOUR FATHER LIKE THAT!

Lexxa: Olivier! Into the Room of Changing!

Olivier: -goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in tutu and fake fairy wings carrying a magic wand-

Ed: My daughter is so beautiful! –takes picture- EVERYONE! LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER AND HOW ADORABLE SHE IS!

Hughes: Isn't it great to gloat about your family? EVERYONE! LOOK AT MY ELICIA!

Ed: OLIVIER'S MORE ADORABLE!

Lexxa: -facepalm-

Olivier: …Did he just call me adorable?

Lexxa: Afraid so…

Olivier: I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! –chases Ed-

Ed: WHERE DID I GO WRONG?

Lexxa: OLIVIER! JUST DO YOUR DARE ALREADY!

Olivier: -goes into Central- I'M A FAIRY PRINCESS!

Lexxa: …Edward, do you want to join your daughter?

Ed: Yes.

Lexxa: Change into your costume and go.

Ed: YEAH! –goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in Fairy King costume- -goes into Central- I'M THE KING OF THE FAIRIES! EVERYONE LOOK AT MY DAUGHTER!

Olivier: I'M NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!

Lexxa: ...Well then… Sorry that it was a short chapter! I just wanted to get those out of the way, so now I'm off to write another chapter! Wish me luck in keeping up with reviews! But, then again, this is a good problem to have.

Ichigo: …Then what would be a bad problem?

Lexxa: Not getting any reviews at all.

Ichigo: True.

Lexxa: So, DON'T PUT ME OUT OF THE JOB! I MUST HAVE YOUR REVIEWS! I would much rather be panicking about how I'm going to write all the chapters with the amount of reviews I have instead of be panicking about how I'm going to write a chapter without any reviews at all!

_Ed: Did anyone see my daughter?_

_Olivier: I'M NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!_

_Armstrong: EDWARD! THAT MEANS THAT I'M YOUR SON!_

_Al: Brother…How did you end up with all these kids?_

_Armstrong: I LOVE YOU, FATHER!_

_Olivier: HE'S NOT OUR FATHER!_

_Armstrong: I'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH DISRESPECT IN MY LIFE!_

_Ed: RESPECT YOUR FATHER!_

_Lexxa: …Edward…Would you like to explain how you got these kids?_

_Ed: …Adoption?_

_Armstrong: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I'M ADOPTED! HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME?_

_Ichigo: …_


	56. Adopted Sons and Tutus

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This is the second chapter where Alphonse does not accept any dares.

Al: Bliss…

Lexxa: Here's Icee and enjoy the show! –hands Al Icee-

Ichigo: Today's dares are brought to you by Storm Dryu.

Lexxa: Two of your dares cannot be done because they are for Alphonse, but you will see them in the sixth chapter!

Ichigo: First dare!

**Roy, I feel so sorry for you. You can have some chocolate from me!**

Roy: CHOCOLATE! –eats chocolate-

Lexxa: …

Ichigo: …Icee? –holds out Icee to Lexxa-

Lexxa: -takes Icee-

Lexxa and Ichigo: -drink Icees- -watch Roy with vague intrest-

Roy: -has chocolate all over his face- Are we going to move on?

Lexxa: Yes. And while we do, WIPE YOUR FACE!

**I will dare lust to act like she's (evil smile)…pride's mother. XDDD**

Lust: PRIDE! WIPE YOUR FACE!

Pride: YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!

Lust: I didn't say that I was your real mom. I told you to wipe your face.

Pride: I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER TO YOU!

Lust: LIKE HELL, YOU DON'T!

Lexxa: …Wow…

Ichigo: They dove right into that one…

Lust: HOW DID YOU GET A STAIN ON YOUR SHIRT?

Pride: OH, I DON'T KNOW, USING IT?

Lexxa: Pride is a bratty kid.

Lust: DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET THAT OUT OF WHITE? (sorry! Reference to a Bleach fanfiction that I read that I couldn't resist making!)

Lexxa: ...Next…

**I dare Ichigo to give Lexxa Zangetsu for the next 5 chapters.**

Lexxa: I LIKE THAT DARE!

Ichigo: I DON'T!

Pride: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU HAG!

Lust: DON'T YOU TALK TO YOUR MOTHER THAT WAY!

Lexxa: -takes Zangetsu-

Ichigo: HEY!

Pride: I WANNA PLAY WITH THE SWORD! –dives for Zangetsu-

Lust: THAT'S NOT YOURS!

Lexxa: GET AWAY FROM MY PRECIOUS!

Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON AROUND HERE?

Al: …I'm glad that I don't have to participate…

Pride: -dives at Ed- PROTECT ME FROM THE SCARY LADY!

Ed: GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!

Lust: STOP BOTHERING PEOPLE, PRIDE!

Pride: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Lexxa: GETSUGA TENSHOU!

Zangetsu: -does the weird move where a long black strip shoots out and destroys everything in its path-

Lexxa: NOW SHUT UP SO WE CAN MOVE ON!

Everyone: -sinks back-

Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL? HOW DID SHE USE GETSUGA TENSHOU? I THOUGHT THAT ONLY WORKED WITH ME AND ZANGETSU!

Lexxa: Maybe Zangetsu likes me. NEXT!

**I dare the fuhrer and major armstrong to dance to "world's end dancehall" in pink ballerina tutu's.**

Lexxa: BRADLEY AND ARMSTRONG! INTO THE ROOM OF CHANGING!

Bradley and Armstrong: -go into Room of Changing- -come out in pink tutus-

Lexxa: NOW INTO THE ROOM OF DANCING!

Bradley and Armstrong: -go into Room of Dancing- -dance to World's End Dancehall-

Lust: WHY CAN'T YOU DANCE LIKE THAT?

Pride: DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

Lust: I AM YOUR MOTHER! I CAN TELL YOU WHAT I WANT!

Lexxa: Do I need to use Getsuga Tenshou again?

Pride and Lust: …No…

Ichigo: Seriously, how can you use that?

Lexxa: I don't know. Go inside yourself and ask Zangetsu.

Ichigo: …Fine. I'll be back. –goes into corner and passes out-

Lexxa: Well, that's all for this chapter! Remember to review!

_Ichigo: I feel betrayed._

_Lexxa: Why?_

_Ichigo: …Zangetsu said that he liked you more than me…_

_Pride: Pwnd._

_Lust: Pride, did you clean your room?_

_Pride: …_

_Lust: Go clean your room._

_Pride: No._

_Lust: Yes._

_Pride: No._

_Lexxa: Pride, you will clean your room and Lust, you will stop being a terrible mother._

_Lust: I AM NOT A TERRIBLE MOTHER!_

_Pride: I WILL NOT CLEAN MY ROOM!_

_Ed: Lust, even I am a better parent than you._

_Armstrong: AGREED!_

_Olivier: YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!_

_Lexxa: This is not the proper place to argue over paternity!_


	57. KFC Farms and Ichigo Hugs

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This is the third chapter where Alphonse is exempt from dares!

Ed: I wish I had that power…

Lexxa: Well, you don't. So, here are xxDangerousPiexx's dares!

**Roy, after watching that movie you probably feel sad yes?**

Roy: THE TORTURE! HOW DARE THEY DO THAT TO THE POOR CHICKENS?

Lexxa: …It happens every day…

Roy: SHUT UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!

Pride: -kicks Roy-

Lust: PRIDE! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO NOT KICK ANYONE?

Pride: Never.

Lust: DON'T YOU USE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME! GO TO YOUR ROOM!

Pride: But all I did was tell you that you never told me to not kick anyone…

Lust: DON'T YOU DARE ARGUE WITH ME! GET TO YOUR ROOM, NOW!

Lexxa: …Sounds like my mom…

Lust: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Lexxa: It means that you can't handle the truth, either.

Pride: PWND!

Lust: I SAID TO YOUR ROOM, MISTER!

Pride: When did I become Mister?

Lust: DO I NEED TO GET OUT THE PADDLE?

Lexxa: WOAH, THERE! There will be no child abuse.

Lust: It's not child abuse if they deserve it.

Lexxa: No child deserves it.

Pride: …Pwnd…

Lexxa: …Next!

**Go to a farm and see how they keep their KFC chickens. No crying.**

Roy: …What's KFC?

Lexxa: -evil smile- Let's go there for lunch. They have something that's perfect for you…

-after lunch-

Roy: That was pretty good… What type of meat was it?

Lexxa: CHICKEN!

Roy: NOOO!

Lexxa: Okay, now to see how they are held captive!

Roy: Wha?

Lexxa: …FIELDTRIP!

Everyone: -somehow goes to KFC farm-

Ichigo: How did we get here?

Lexxa: …I thought that you knew…

Everyone: …

Lexxa: Anyway, ROY! You're the reason why we're here, so look around!

Roy: HOW DARE THEY KEEP THE CHICKENS IN CLOSED PENS! THAT'S SO CRUEL! ANIMAL CRUELTY! ANIMAL CRUELTY!

Lexxa: …But they're chickens…

Roy: THEY'RE MORE THAN JUST CHICKENS! THEY'RE ALL MY FRIENDS! AND I, CHICKEN MAN, LEADER OF THE CHICKEN, AM OBLIGATED TO SAVE THEM! CHICKEN POWERS ACTIVATE! –charges at chicken pens-

Lexxa: …He does realize that the wire will cut him up, right?

Roy: OW! THEY SEEM TO HAVE PUT A FORCEFEILD! YOU WIN THIS ROUND, KFC!

Lexxa: Let's leave before we're sued.

Everyone: -back in studio-

Lexxa: NEXT!

**Ichigo… *Hugs* Just wanted to do that…**

Ichigo: -hugs back-

Lexxa: …Ichigo accepts hugs? –step towards Ichigo with open arms-

Ichigo: -steps away from Lexxa- Not from you.

Lexxa: Why?

Ichigo: Because I see that note that you were going to stick on my back.

Lexxa: …You foiled my plans…

Ichigo: -nods-

Lexxa: Anyway…Moving on!

***Gives everyone a cell phone* Now you can text each other…or call, whatever.**

Ed: …How does it work?

Lexxa: Oh, wow. I don't have one, but I still know how it works. You guys are hopeless.

Roy: -puts on head- CELL PHONE POWERS, ACTIVATE!

Al: Is it working?

Lexxa: -facepalm- Great. Now I need to teach them how to use it. Well then… REVIEW! –steps towards Ichigo-

Ichigo: No hugs.

_Lexxa: Why won't Ichigo hug me?_

_Ichigo: Because I fear for my life._

_Lexxa: You shouldn't fear for your life. I mean, if I wanted to kill you I would use a knife, or something._

_Ichigo: And that makes me feel better._

_Ed: Lexxa! I forgot how to text!_

_Lexxa: Oh my God… Like I said…You tap the reply button…_

_Ed: Okay…_

_Lexxa: Then you type your message…_

_Ed: HOW DO I DO THAT?_

_Lexxa: …I'll meet you in the studio in five minutes._

_Ed: Okay._

_Ichigo: …Idiots. Even I know how it works now._


	58. Cupcakes and Dirt Brownies

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This is the fourth chapter where Alphonse does not accept any dares.

Lexxa: And our male reviewer is back!

Ed: Talon Graveshadow?

Lexxa: Yep! Let's see what he's going to have you do!

**Everyone except Tucker: You all get cupcakes!**

Tucker: Why not me?

Lexxa: Because you killed your daughter!

Ed: These cupcakes are amazing!

Lexxa: -nod-

Ichigo: Wait, I think that Tucker gets something special…

**Tucker: You get a dirt brownie.**

Tucker: I don't want a dirt brownie…

Lexxa: Too bad. EAT IT!

Tucker: -takes bite- -spits it out- THERE WAS SOMETHING SQUISHY IN THERE!

Ichigo: I think it was a worm.

Tucker: AHH!

Lexxa: FINISH THE BROWNIE!

Tucker: NO! IT HAS WORMS IN IT!

Lexxa: So?

Tucker: Would you eat a worm?

Lexxa: Sure. –eats gummy worm-

Tucker: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Lexxa: I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU MEANT! NO EAT THE BROWNIE!

Tucker: -eats rest of brownie-

Ichigo: …Gross…

Lexxa: Next!

**Alex armstrong: You. Edward Cullen. SPARKLE OFF.**

Lexxa: You know, Edward Cullen is just a fairy. The only person that _should _be allowed to sparkle is Armstrong.

Armstrong: -takes off shirt and sparkles- INDEED!

Edward Cullen (EC): How did I get here?

Lexxa: Magic. Now, sparkle.

EC: …Why?

Lexxa: It's a sparkle off, what else would you do?

EC: What do you mean, sparkle off?

Lexxa: It's simple. That guy with the shirt off?

Armstrong: -sparkle-

Lexxa: Yeah, he's been challenged to have a sparkle off with you.

EC: …Sparkle off?

Lexxa: It means that you sparkle while he sparkles.

EC: …Why should I do this?

Lexxa: -sigh- You see, Edward Cullen fangirls? This is why you don't fall for the sparkly fairy in the movies.

EC: Who's a sparkly fairy?

Ed: YOU, DAMMIT!

EC: Who are you?

Ed: I'm Edward Elric, and you are a fag.

EC: …Fag?

Lexxa: DAMN YOU, EDWARD CULLEN! YOU ARE GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE! NOW SPARKLE SO YOU CAN LOSE!

EC: Who says I'm going to lose?

Lexxa: Basically everyone. Nobody can win against Armstrong.

EC: Armstrong?

Armstrong: I AM ALEX LOUIS ARMSTRONG, THE STRONG ARM ALCHEMIST! –flexes- -sparkles-

EC: …What?

Lexxa: -pinches nose- Bella, how the hell did you fall in love with this jackwagon?

Bella: Hey!

Lexxa: What? He's a jackwagon who isn't capable of doing anything but ask questions.

Bella: He's not like this in the series!

Lexxa: You're right! In the series he's even more of a jackwagon! And you are, too!

Bella: Excuse me?

Lexxa: In the second book, he left you and you essentially died for about six months. You know why? Because you have absolutely no resolve or backbone. That's why.

Bella: He's the love of my life! Of course I would mourn him!

Lexxa: FOR SIX MONTHS? ANY SANE PERSON WOULD GET OVER IT WITHIN TWO! But, _no, _you have to be the jerk that plays dead until they return.

Bella: -jumps at Lexxa-

Lexxa: -pulls out Zangetsu- GETSUGA TENSHOU!

Zangetsu: -does the Getsuga Tenshou thingy-

Bella: -dies-

Lexxa: I win.

Armstrong: AS DO I!

EC: …What?

Lexxa: GETSUGA TENSHOU!

Zangetsu: -does Getsuga Tenshou-

EC: -dies- -comes back-

Lexxa: …Shit, I forgot about that. Edward Elric! You wanna handle him?

Ed: Sure, it's been a while since I kicked some ass. –attacks EC-

EC: -dies-

Lexxa: BURN HIM!

Roy: -snaps fingers-

EC: -gets lit on fire-

Fire: -is purple-

Ichigo: How did you know so much about that?

Lexxa: I actually read the books, but that was when I was all sappy and stuff. Now I'm not and I can't stand books like that.

Ichigo: …Next?

Lexxa: Next!

**Mustang: Go to space! With Camilla. And Black Hayate.**

Roy: SPACE!

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Black Hayate: -barks-

Lexxa: Into the Space Shuttle!

Roy, Camilla, and Black Hayate: -go into Space Shuttle-

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Black Hayate: -barks out window-

Roy: -pets Camilla-

Lexxa: Okay, so we have a camera, and later we can watch the highlights!

Ichigo: Next!

**Lexxa: Trade personalities with… RIZA HAWKEYE.**

Lexxa: …But she's so boring…

Riza: Hey!

Lexxa: But, if I must I must.

Riza: …I take offense to that.

Lexxa: Well, now I must act like a stick in the mud while my counterpart must act like a random hyper person. Easy for me, but I wonder how Riza will take it.

Riza: …I LIKE TURTLES.

Lexxa: …I don't think that I would say that.

Riza: BUT I'M EASILY EXCITED!

Lexxa: …

Ichigo: Riza, you suck at this.

Riza: YOUR FACE SUCKS AT THIS!

Ichigo: …No. Just no.

Lexxa: -sigh- Let's just move on before this becomes unbearably painful.

Ichigo: …Holy crap.

**Hughs: You are awesome. Have an infinite camera for picture of your family.**

Hughes: YEAH! –takes about a million pictures-

Lexxa: -sigh- -pinches bridge of nose-

Riza: -starts running around the room-

Lexxa: What are you doing?

Riza: THE VOICES ARE BACK!

Lexxa: -rubs temples-

Ichigo: …Last thing.

**Ed: I GIVE YOU MAGICAL GROWING POWERS. YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF TALLLER THAN ANYONE! ( By two inches)**

Ed: I WANT TO BE TALLER THAN ARMSTRONG! –grows to be about six foot nine-

Riza: -looks up at Ed- Woah.

Lexxa: …

Ichigo: …You don't look right when you're tall.

Ed: I AM TALL!

Lexxa: I suppose we should check out the camera on the space shuttle. –turns on computer-

Roy: CAMILLA! WHY DID YOU PEE ON MY SHOE?

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Black Hayate: -licks Roy-

Camilla: -pecks Black Hayate-

Roy: I SWEAR, HE'S JUST A FRIEND!

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Black Hayate: -licks Camilla-

Camilla: -freaks out-

Roy: NO! BLACK HAYATE, WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT DOING THAT?

Lexxa: -turns off computer- Well, that's all. Review.

Ichigo: …Man, Riza's personality is boring.

Riza: HEY!

Ichigo: IT'S TRUE!

Riza: -runs into emo corner-

Ichigo: …

_Riza: YOU HURT MY FEELINGS, ICHIGO!_

_Ichigo: Oh my God, are you really overreacting to that?_

_Riza: IT HURTS, MAN!_

_Lexxa: Riza, get over it._

_Winry: I don't like that personality switch. _

_Ichigo: Too strange._

_Riza: BUT I LIKE MYSELF THIS WAY!_

_Lexxa: No you don't._

_Riza: …I don't?_

_Ichigo: No you don't. You just think that you do._

_Riza: But…_

_Ichigo: You just think it._

_Riza: But…_

_Ichigo: These are not the droids you're looking for._


	59. Contests and More Nutcracker

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This is the last chapter where Alphonse does not accept any dares.

Lexxa: But Sushi Hawkeye has the right to tell him stuff. Since it's not technically a dare.

**Alphonse,~~**

you do NOT, by any circumstances, want to jinx yourself. Make Ed behave, okay? *sadistic grin*

Pop rocks plus soda plus your mouth isn't torture. It's one of the easiest ways to get (1) a sugar high, (2) an adrenaline rush, (3) an awesome contest. I'm sure Ichigo agrees, don't you? *swallows clumps of pop rocks* kaboom.

Al: BUT THEY WERE INVENTED BY THE DEVIL!

Ichigo: WRONG! THEY WERE INVENTED BY THE MOST AWESOME PERSON IN THE WORLD!

Lexxa: …Actually they were invented by William A. Mitchell in 1956.

Ichigo: Lexxa, did you use Wikipedia?

Lexxa: …No…

Ichigo: -sighs-

Lexxa: Next!

**Kimbley! You gotta try this. *Hands pop rocks and a can of soda***

Kimblee: -eats pop rocks and drinks soda- HOLY CRAP! IT'S LIKE MUSIC!

Lexxa: Hey, Kimblee, Nameless's favorite line was invented by you. I think that now would be a nice time to say it.

Kimblee: BOOM GOES THE CHILDREN!

Lexxa: -nods-

Ichigo: …What's wrong with Nameless?

Lexxa: Nothing.

Ichigo: Are you sure?

Lexxa: …No…

Ichigo: …Next…

**Another contest! You, Ichigo, and Lexxa have to discover the best and most painful/awesome way to make pop rocks explode in your mouth. Then it could be used as a weapon/toy of sorts.**

Kimblee: LET'S DO THIS THING!

Lexxa: Okay, here are the test pop rocks!

Ichigo: BEGIN!

Kimblee, Lexxa, and Ichigo: -experiment different ways to have pop rocks explode in mouth-

Lexxa: THIS IS EPIC!

Kimblee: BOOM GOES THE CHILDREN!

Ichigo: I _LOVE_ POP ROCKS!

Al: THEY'RE STILL INVENTED BY THE DEVIL!

Lexxa: I GOT A WAY! –puts mentos, soda, and pop rocks into mouth simultaneously- THIS HURTS LIKE HELL! IT'S AWESOME!

Riza: …Is she a masochist?

Lexxa: No. It's just epic.

Kimblee: -puts pop rocks, soda, and pure alcohol in mouth- FUCK YEAH!

Ichigo: -puts pop rocks, soda, mentos, and alcohol in mouth- I WIN!

Lexxa: …Not fair, man.

Ichigo: Yeah it is. I WIN!

Lexxa: Here! –hands Icee and pop rocks-

Ichigo: Yay!

Lexxa: Next!

**Another two shows of the Nutcracker? Courtesy of Mustang? Yay!**

Lexxa: YEAH!

Roy: NO!

Ed: -gets popcorn-

Lexxa: COME, ROY! YOU, TOO, RIZA! –drags Riza and Roy into practice room-

Ichigo: While they rehearse…

***turns to the old lady* thank you ma'am, you don't know how many people you have made happy and safe from a certain pyromaniac.**

Roy: HEY! IT'S THAT LADY!

**First Ling, now you Roy? How do you keep remembering my goons?**

Lexxa: Ohh! More spooky witchcraft!

**Short wimp Ed. I know someone shorter than me who knows how to NOT drown. And I'm about your height. But then again, we don't have that heavy automail…**

Ed: SO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU'RE SHORT!

**Hey! Don't tell me that it's like I'm calling myself short. I'm of average height where I am. So there. **

Ed: -hides in emo corner-

**I don't think I wanna know about you being a wannabe Cullen. That's just…*shudders* I'm gonna pretend it's for the height…**

Ed: …Yeah…That's it…

**Lexxa, you can't burn me. *smirks* living with flamers attacking you almost everyday does wonders for immunity to fire.**

Lexxa: I wouldn't know because I've never really gotten a flame… The worst thing that someone's told me so far is that one of my chapters was short.

Ichigo: …Is that a good thing?

Lexxa: …I'm not entirely sure…

**Ling, I once thought that when you train for martial arts or something, it would be like instinct and second nature to you. Because you have proved me wrong, I need someone to practice on. Who might be the most unfortunately lucky winner? *evil glare***

Ling: It's harder than you think!

Lexxa: Doesn't matter. You're still wimpy.

**Envy! You have been chosen by the awesome power of seafood! Someone tie he/she/it to a pole.**

Envy: WHAT?

Ichigo: -ties Envy to pole-

***practices random kicks and jabs at the palm tree***

**Glad to see I can still fight.**

Envy: …My…gut…hurts…

Lexxa: Duh!

**POP ROCKS ROCK!**

Ichigo: POP ROCKS!

**KaBoOm!**

**And here's to the awesomesauceness of pop rocks, which are a debatable second to the Philosopher's stone.**

***grabs small bag* *tears it open* *dark clouds come out* *starts raining pop rocks and soda***

***laughs insanely***

Everyone: …

Alphonse: IT'S BACK!

Edward: THE VOICES!

**What? Who wouldn't laugh at a very-useless-in-soda-rain Mustang?**

Roy: Aw…

Lexxa: Well that's all we have! Now I must work my butt off to try to make up for the many days that I was dead to everyone reading these…

_Winry: Ed, what did you mean by the voices?_

_Ed: The voices…They returned…_

_Lexxa: Oh! You're starting to sound a little like Harry Potter in the second book!_

_Al: Who's Harry Potter?_

_Lexxa: What? You've never heard of Harry Potter? DEMON!_

_Al: I'm not a demon…_

_Lexxa: DEMON!_

_Ed: Lexxa, Al's not a demon._

_Lexxa: GET AWAY FROM ME, CO-DEMON!_


	60. Al's Dares

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This is the very special chapter where Alphonse has to do all of his dares!

Alphonse: Aw…

Lexxa: It's okay. First off from Storm Dryu!

**I dare Alphonse to kiss (NOT MAKE OUT since that might be considered) with Edward.**

Lexxa: Now, Alphonse, before you do this dare, I must say something. It will affect this dare. Now, I'm all for homosexuality in this show as long as it doesn't get too graphic, but I'm not okay with incest. Sorry Elricest fans, but I'm not going to condole something like that. For people out there who are going to try to send me in dares like that, I'm not saying that I'm not going to accept them, but I'm going to make a loop hole in there somehow. So, as a loop hole, Alphonse, give your big brother Edward a goodnight kiss before he takes his nap.

Edward: …I'm going to take a nap?

Lexxa: Yes you are unless if you want to experience Elricest.

Edward: …NAP TIME!

Alphonse: Good night, Brother! –kisses on forehead-

Lexxa: Good! Now the next one is still from Storm Dryu.

**Now…I dare uh…Alphonse to give Edward his hello kitty collection (for me, alphonse is a platinum kitty, having one of every single hello kitty ever made to exist, even the ones with only 1 or 2 copies ever being made!)**

Alphonse: But Brother just went to bed…

Lexxa: -bangs frying pans in the air above Edward's head- WAKE UP YOU LAZY BUM!

Edward: AHH! –falls off bed-

Winry: -snickers- Real manly.

Edward: -blushes-

Alphonse: Brother! I bear gifts! –hands over hello kitty collection-

Edward: …Is this what happened to all of my money?

Alphonse: …No… -shifty eyes-

Lexxa: Last! From xxDangerousPiexx

**Al, I dare you to hang out with America for a day. If you can handle Ed you should be able to handle him.**

America: WHERE AM I? –takes bite of hamburger-

Lexxa: THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DARE SHOW OF DOOM!

America: …Why are you yelling?

Lexxa: …Imitating you?

Ichigo: In real life she does this a lot.

Lexxa: -nods-

Alphonse: Hello, America! I'm Al!

America: HOW DID YOU KNOW MY NAME?

Lexxa: Looks like they're going to have a lot of fun. Well, that's all for this chapter. Review!

_Al: What I want to know is how did Storm Dryu know that I had a hello kitty collection._

_Ed: And, Lexxa, thanks for that loop hole._

_Lexxa: No problem. And I have full intentions of doing the same for anything else that I feel crosses the line._

_Ichigo: Anyone else notice that the only five people in this one were Lexxa, Edward, Alphonse, and me?_

_Armstrong: LINE!_

_Roy: MONOLOGUE!_

_Nina: CUTENESS!_

_Riza: REMARK!_


	61. Puppies and Useless Roy

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This chapter is brought to you by water.

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Announcer: Have you ever been dehydrated? Well then just drink some water feel hydrated immediately!

Random customer: I love water! It keeps me alive!

Different customer: I can only go a few days without my water!

Announcer: Buy now!

-advertisement over-

Edward: …What the hell just happened?

Lexxa: An advertisement. That's what.

Ichigo: These dares are from wolfrainfreak, who, by the way, uses water on a regular basis.

Alphonse: …And how do you know this?

Lexxa: Everyone uses water! –drinks water-

Winry: …Okay…

Lexxa: First dare!

**I DARE lexxa to give roy a puppie.**

Roy: Puppy!

Lexxa: -hands puppy-

Puppy: -bites Roy-

Roy: IT BIT ME!

Lexxa: Who's a good puppy? You're a good puppy!

Alphonse: …Do you hate us?

Lexxa: No! I just can't use favoritism. Next!

**I dare Al to tell Mei she is an annoying little brat.**

Alphonse: But I can't do that!

Mei: JUST DO IT! I can handle it…

Alphonse: …Okay…

Edward: AL, NO! IT'S A TRAP!

Mei: SHUT UP!

Alphonse: …Mei…

Mei: Yes?

Alphonse: …You're an annoying little brat…

Mei: -twitch- HOW DARE YOU CALL A PRINCESS OF XING AN ANNOYING LITTLE BRAT! –chases Alphonse around with a frying pan- I SHOULD HAVE YOU BEHEADED FOR THAT!

Alphonse: THEY STILL BEHEAD PEOPLE IN THAT COUNTRY?

Mei: …Well, no…

Lexxa: Next!

**I dare Kimblee to be nice.**

Kimblee: But there's no way that I can do that!

Lexxa: Be nice!

Kimblee: …Fine…

Edward: KIMBLEE IS STUPID!

Kimblee: …You're lucky, brat.

Ichigo: Next!

**I dare Ed to call roy useless.**

Edward: No problem! Roy, you're useless!

Roy: SHUT UP!

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Roy: At least _she_ understands! –hugs Camilla-

Lexxa: …Anyway… Sorry for the short chapter! I'm trying to play some serious catch up with these reviews! Curse Harry Potter and my laziness! …Review!

_Hohenheim: I am Papa Ho-ho._

_Ed: …What the hell?_

_Lexxa: Sorry, Nameless and I were saying that in front of him. It's from a fanfiction that we've read._

_Hohenheim: Papa Ho-ho in the house._

_Al: How long is he going to do this?_

_Ichigo: We're not sure._

_Al: …Dads can be weird…_

_Ed: …But I'm not a weird dad, am I?_

_Armstrong: Of course not, Father!_

_Olivier: HE'S NOT OUR GODDAMN FATHER!_

_Ed: …That hurts…_

_Armstrong: STOP BEING SO RUDE TO OUR DADDY!_

_Hohenheim: PAPA HO-HO!_

_Lexxa: And thus, the insanity begins. Scratch that. It's been happening._


	62. iCarly Underware and Llamas

Lexxa: Welcome back to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Nameless is here to co-host so that I can go run around Central in a party hat and sunglasses. Bye! –runs out with party hat and sunglasses-

Nameless: Lexxa has forced me to do this…

Lexxa: Shut up! That's a secret! I mean…Haha…You're silly…I would do no such thing…

Nameless: You are such a bad liar…

Lexxa: …Yeah…Anyways, Doc is back! Nameless, you know who Doc is, right?

Nameless: … Yes…

Lexxa: Are you lying?

Nameless: … No…

Edward: JUST GET ON WITH IT ALREADY!

Lexxa: Fine. First up!

**Like OMG I luv Doctor Who! *glomps Envy* do the puppy dog face, do it!**

Envy: Ah, hell… -does the puppy dog face-

Lexxa: -hits Envy- HOW DARE YOU POOP IN MY ROOM!

Envy: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: BAD DOG! BAD DOG! GO IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID!

Envy: …

Lexxa: GO!

Envy: -goes to corner-

Nameless: Lexxa, don't you have more to do?

Lexxa: …Maybe… Next!

**Oh, and hey, those cop dudes are back. I escaped while in the van, stole their wallets and tied them up with their belts. Did you know that cops wore iCarly underwear?**

Lexxa: …No…Nameless?

Nameless: Yes… I did…

**Cop: Give me my wallet!**

**Me: NEVAH! But here's a bribe! *throws the cops a bribe***

**Cop: … I'll leave now.**

Lexxa: FIGHT THE POWER!

**Tucker: you will never make me into a chimera. *gets sedated by tucker* NOOOoooo…**

Lexxa: TUCKER! HOW DARE YOU DO SUCH A THING!

Tucker: … -slowly drags Doc into a room-

Lexxa: GET BACK HERE, DAMMIT!

Tucker: -closes door to room-

Lexxa: …Shit…

Nameless: …

Lexxa: DOC'S MIND IS SPEAKING TO ME!

**My mind: okay, since Ticker is turning me into a chimera for some weird reason, my mind, me will be talking to you. If that fails, then I'll give you all llamas.**

Nameless: Llamas?

Lexxa: LLAMA POWER!

Nameless: …

**Since I haven a Doctor, I will give you an artificial anus for your kidney loss. I have no kidneys, but ani (anuses?) make a great substitute! But you might be vomiting up pee…**

Nameless: ….

Roy: …But pee doesn't taste as good going up than going down…

Lexxa: …What the hell?

Edward: That's sick, man. Really sick.

Roy: …But-

Lexxa: No. Just no.

Nameless: …..

Roy: …Is she going to talk?

Lexxa: No, because you're a sick freak. TAKE THE ANUS!

Edward: …But would it really work if an anus took an anus?

Alphonse: BROTHER!

Edward: …It's true…

Lexxa: …Next.

**Envy: back to obsessing over your Doctor form. TAKE ME ON YOUR TARDIS OF MAGICALNESS DOCTOR!**

Envy: What the hell?

Lexxa: So, Envy, where did you get your doctorate?

Envy: What?

Lexxa: You're a doctor, so where did you get your doctorate?

Nameless: -whispers to Lexxa- Since when did Envy go to school?

Envy: I HEARD THAT!

Lexxa: No you didn't.

Envy: Yes I did.

Lexxa: -waves hand in Envy's face- These are not the droids you're looking for.

Envy: …These are not the droids I'm looking for.

Lexxa: IT WORKED!

Edward: …

Lexxa: Now, Envy, take Doc on your tardis of magicalness.

Envy: …But she's being turned into a chimera…

Lexxa: Oh yeah…

Nameless: … Next…

***slaps Envy because of rejection***

**You WILL take me.**

Envy: …How did a mind slap me?

Lexxa: Hell if I know.

Tucker: -comes out of room- I HAVE BEEN SUCESSFUL!

Doc: -comes out and is half wolf-

Envy: …I have to take _that_ with me?

Lexxa: Yep.

Nameless: -to Envy in scary tone- Are you saying that you reject?

Envy: …No?

Lexxa: -in robotic tone- EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

Envy: Why would you murder me?

Lexxa: -still in robotic tone- IT IS NOT MURDER. IT IS PEST CONTROL.

Doc: -tackles Envy-

Edward: You'd better take Doc.

Envy: … -goes into phone booth with Doc-

Lexxa: Well that's all! Review! Anything to add, Nameless?

Nameless: Do I have to co-host anymore?

Lexxa: Nope. Bye, fanfiction world!

_Envy: The entire time we were gone, Doc kept on licking me._

_Lexxa: Did you go in your Doctor Who form?_

_Envy: …No…_

_Lexxa: Then why was she licking you?_

_Envy: I think I had cheese puff powder on me._

_Ed: You had cheese puffs and where was I?_

_Envy: …_

_Al: Brother, you know that you're not supposed to eat cheese puffs anymore._

_Ed: BUT THEY'RE A PART OF ME!_

_Al: Brother, think of your rehab. Do you want to do that again?_

_Ed: …No…_

_Nameless: -comes back- I left my lunchbox… -looks around- Where is it?_

_Al: I got your lunch box right here!_

_Lexxa: YEAH! NULLMETAL ALCHEMIST REFERENCE!_

_Nameless: ….. Where is my lunchbox?_

_Lexxa: I teleported it to your house using my awesome powers._

_Nameless: Alright… Bye! –leaves-_


	63. Kitty Armies and Picture Burning

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Nameless is gone.

Lexxa: And… -dangles Nameless's lunchbox in air-

Edward: Didn't you say that you sent that to her house?

Lexxa: Yep!

Ichigo: …Anyway, Chameleon52 is back!

Lexxa: I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

Alphonse: Did you have chocolate?

Lexxa: …Maybe…

Ichigo: Okay then. First!

**RISEMBOOL RANGERS! I'm actually an official one and Roy Ed is hotter than you so :P.**

Roy: HE IS NOT HOTTER!

Edward: YES I AM!

Lexxa: -nods-

Ichigo: What the-WHY DO YOU CARE?

Roy: THESE PEOPLE ARE SPREADING THEIR LIES AROUND THE INTERNET!

Lexxa: It's not lies, though.

Edward: It's a proven fact.

Roy: Yeah? And by who?

Marcoh: By me! I'm a scientist, and I say that Edward has more fangirls that read this than you. Thus, he must be hotter.

Lexxa: Pwned.

**Sorry about the slapping thing. That was 3 a.m. and I had chocolate…like right now!**

Roy: Ah, hell…

**Roy-Admit Ed is hotter than you!**

Roy: NO FUCKING WAY!

Lexxa: YES FUCKING WAY!

Roy: NO! I WILL NOT LIE TO THE READERS!

Lexxa: We already went over this, IT IS NOT A LIE!

Roy: It is a lie!

Ichigo: Wrong! The cake is a lie! Now just say that Edward is hotter than you!

Roy: …Edward is…hotter…than me…

Lexxa: Who's a good Roy? Who's a good Roy? Are you a good Roy? Yes you are! Good boy!

Roy: …

Ichigo: Next!

**Ed-Take your shirt off and say 'I'm too sexy for my automail'**

Edward: Déjà vu… -shrugs- -takes off shirt- I'M TOO SEXY FOR MY AUTOMAIL!

Roy: THE HORROR!

Lexxa: -hits Roy- YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!

Ichigo: Down, girl!

Lexxa: -composes herself- Sorry. My inner fangirl escaped again. I have locked her back in her cage.

Ichigo: …Okay…

Lexxa: Next!

**Al-Create a kitty army! Invade the world with its cuteness! (idk)**

Alphonse: MY KITTY ARMY IS BETTER THAN YOUR KITTY ARMY!

Lexxa: I doubt that. –kitty army appears behind her-

Alphonse: -kitty army appears behind him-

Edward: …What the hell is going on here?

Lexxa: KITTY ARMY SHOWDOWN!

Kitty armies: -attack each other-

Alphonse: YOU'RE RUINING MY ARMY'S CUTENESS!

Scar: YOUR FACE EXPLODES!

Ichigo: No. Just no.

Scar: Aw… -sulks in emo corner-

Ichigo: Moving on!

**Lexxa: I brought you a bag of candy.**

Lexxa: CANDY! –shoves a bunch of candy into mouth-

Ichigo: You've doomed us all.

Alphonse: But who won the battle?

Lexxa: Ihh dihh.

Alphonse: What?

Ichigo: I think she said, "I did."

Lexxa: -nods-

Ichigo: Next!

**Ed- Murder Tucker the F*cker. You know you want to.**

Edward: -turns automail into his sword thingy- I'm going to enjoy this.

Tucker: AH! –runs around screaming-

Edward: -chasing Tucker- GET BACK HERE YOU MOTHER FUCKER! I'M GOING TO MESS YOU UP!

Lexxa: While they're doing that…

**Everyone-Make Ed believe that Roy adopted him so he is now his son. Roy has to act fatherly and Ed must actually believe it before you can stop.**

Roy: -smirks- This'll be fun.

Edward: Man, he got away…

Roy: It'll be okay, son.

Edward: …Wha?

Roy: Come here and hug your father.

Edward: YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!

Van: Yes he is.

Edward: Bu-but you're my father…

Roy: Edward, I am your father.

Edward: What?

Roy: I'm your father.

Edward: I don't believe this, Al?

Alphonse: -edges closer to Roy- Daddy? What's wrong with Brother?

Edward: What?

Roy: I don't know, son. I just don't know.

Alphonse: Edward, why won't you believe that he's our dad?

Edward: Because he's not our dad!

Roy: I never knew you felt that way.

Edward: YOU'RE NOT MY DAMN FATHER!

Alphonse: Daddy, he's yelling again.

Edward: Is this anything like the time when Al had to say he wasn't my brother?

Lexxa: No, nothing like that. That was acting, this is truthing.

Edward: Truthing?

Lexxa: Truthing.

Roy: Does my son need a hug?

Edward: …Yes… -hugs Roy (Calm down, RoyxEd fans)-

Lexxa: By the way, I was lying.

Edward: What?

Lexxa: I was lying about the truthing.

Edward: Lying about the truthing?

Lexxa: Lying about the truthing.

Edward: Wait…does that mean?

Roy: Good job, Fullmetal.

Edward: -jumps away from Roy- WHAT THE HELL, MAN?

Lexxa: -laughs her ass off-

Ichigo: Next.

**Riza,Hughes, and Ed-Throw Roy in a pool.**

Edward: FUCK YEAH! –grabs Roy and runs towards pool-

Riza and Hughes: -follow while eating popcorn-

Edward: -throws Roy into pool-

Roy: -swims for a while-

Lexxa: Wait, isn't he supposed to not like water?

Roy: What's wrong with water?

Lexxa: You can't use your gloves, for one thing…

Roy: …Shit…

Edward: -walks away from pool-

Lexxa: Next!

**Roy-Burn Hughes' pictures.**

Roy: But I can't use my gloves…

Lexxa: LIGHTER POWERS ACTIVATE! –hands Roy a lighter-

Roy: …Uhm…Thanks? –lights Hughes' pictures on fire-

Hughes: NO!

Lexxa: Well, that's all for this chapter!

Hughes: I miss them so much…

Lexxa: Review!

Ichigo: What she said!

_Hughes: …My pictures…My beautiful pictures…_

_Ichigo: Get over it, man. At least he wasn't dared to burn your whole family._

_Hughes: THAT'S JUST EVIL!_

_Lexxa: Hey, you have no idea what people are capable of. _

_Roy: I don't wanna burn his family…_

_Lexxa: You will burn his family if you are dared to. If not, there will be no family burning on the premises._

_Ichigo: Because that doesn't sound weird at all…_


	64. Screennames and Blackmail

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: And in this chapter and this chapter only, everyone will get random screen names, because Lexxa is tired of writing the same ones!

Lexxa: Just for the hell of it!

Ichigo: Here's the key:

**Edward=Shortypants**

**Alphonse=Whatshisface**

**Roy=Mr. Flame**

**Armstrong=Sparkle Man**

**Hughes=I'm a Ninja**

**Camilla=Super Chicken**

**Riza=Lady Banana**

**Winry=That Chick**

**Lexxa=Fishy**

**Ichigo=Your Face**

Fishy: Here we go!

Your Face: These dares are brought to you by eggs.

Fishy: …Um, no…They're brought to them by Storm Dryu…

Your Face: Not eggs?

Fishy: …No…

Your Face: Well then… First!

**I dare roy to state ALL of the FMA pairings he enjoys reading about**

Mr. Flame: Fine. WinryxEd, RoyxRiza-

Lady Banana: EXCUSE ME?

Mr. Flame: -and RizaxWinry.

That Chick and Lady Banana: WHAT?

Fishy: Next!

**Lexxa, you are a funny and awesome host, so you get a special torture device from me!**

Fishy: AW! THANK YOU! INTERNET COOKIES FOR ALL! –throws internet cookies all around-

**use it as much as you want. It is called heavy blackmail. Since after all, i have trillions of blackmail pics there, even for ichigo.**

Fishy: -evil look- This will be very fun.

Your Face: YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL, STORM DRYU!

Fishy: BLACKMAIL! –shoves heavy blackmail in Your Face's face-

Your Face: H-how did you get that picture?

Fishy: The blackmail tool.

Your Face: …Five bucks and this never happened.

Fishy: Deal. –takes money-

Your Face: Moving on!

**Armstrong, I dare you to juggle Ed, Al, Roy, Hughes and Riza all at the same time while reciting the alphabet backwards.**

Sparkle Man: COME HERE, COMRADS! –starts juggling Shortypants, Whatshisface, Mr. Flame, I'm a Ninja, and Lady Banana- A!

Fishy: Good job, Armstrong.

Your Face: Next!

**Riza, another song thing. I dare you to sing and dance Nicki Minaj's song "stupid hoe" while only wearing your underwear, fishnet leggings and gloves.**

Mr. Flame: -nosebleed-

Super Chicken: -pecks Mr. Flame-

Mr. Flame: -still has nosebleed-

Super Chicken: -jumps on Mr. Flame-

Mr. Flame: -still has nosebleed-

Super Chicken: -pecks Mr. Flame's face-

Mr. Flame: -still has nosebleed-

Fishy: I think that Camilla's pissed.

Your Face: I think so, too.

Lady Banana: Do I have to do this in front of him?

Fishy: No, just let me go in the room with you so that I know that you performed it…

Lady Banana and Fishy: -go into room together-

-a minute later-

Lady Banana: -from behind door and singing- I get it cracking like a bad back. Bitch talking she the queen, when she looking like a lab rat. –sings rest of song-

Lady Banana and Fishy: -come out of room in usual attire-

Mr. Flame: Why didn't she have to do it out here?

Fishy: We could use without all the nosebleeds.

Your Face: That's all for this short chapter!

Fishy: Review!

_Ed: We get our real names back!_

_Al: Thank God…_

_Lexxa: …You didn't like your names?_

_Ichigo: Nobody did. I was Your Face._

_Lexxa: YOUR FACE!_

_Scar: EXPLODES!_

_Lexxa: No. Just no._

_Ichigo: No._

_Ed: No._

_Al: No._

_Scar: …Fine…_


	65. Dog Kicking and Middle Schools

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Today's dares are brought to you by DinRose.

Lexxa: -nods- That's a good boy!

Ichigo: Can I have a cookie?

Lexxa: Better! You can have a warm cookie!

Ichigo: Yay! –eats warm cookie-

Lexxa: First!

**Bleach is an awesome show~**

Lexxa: Indeed. But I really can't stand Orihime.

Ichigo: What? –stares at Lexxa with shock-

Lexxa: She's whiny and you always have to save her. SHE MUST DIE IN A HOLE! Ahem. That aside, let's move on!

**I dare Roy to drown a chicken.**

Roy: …Can it be an evil chicken?

Lexxa: …Sure, why not?

Roy: COME HERE, KOUGA!

Lexxa: …First, high five for the evil chicken to be named after an arrogant fool on Bleach.

Roy: -high fives Lexxa- -drowns Kouga-

Ichigo: Good job, Roy. Next!

**I dare Ed to do the milk gallon challenge!**

Edward: Not this shit again!

Lexxa: -nods- Just be thankful that nobody's told you to drink it straight from the cow.

Edward: That's gross!

Lexxa: -holds out gallon of milk- Drink up.

Edward: … -drinks milk-

Lexxa: I WIN!

Edward: I hate you so much right now…

Lexxa: Next!

**I dare Roy to kick a puppy. A real puppy.**

Lexxa: ROY! KICK A PUPPY!

Roy: But…I love dogs…

Lexxa: We all know that. Your dog speech proved it.

Roy: I LOVE DOGS! DOGS EMBODY LOYALTY! THEY FOLLOW THEIR MASTER'S COMMANDS ABOVE ALL ELSE! BE A JERK TO THEM AND THEY WON'T COMPLAIN AND THEY NEVER ONCE BEG FOR A PAYCHECK! THEY'RE THE GREAT SERVANT OF MAN! OH YOU CANINE HOW WE SALUTE THEE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Lexxa: …We had it coming. But seriously…Kick a puppy.

Roy: -kicks a puppy-

Lexxa: Okay then…

Ichigo: Next!

**I dare Al to wear normal clothes and go to a middle school for one day. See what happens…**

Alphonse: SCHOOL!

Lexxa: I JUST LEFT THAT HELLHOLE!

Alphonse: But… Does that mean that it's over?

Lexxa: Well…Not really…I mean, my school does waiver days so there is really another week…

Alphonse: SCHOOL!

Ichigo: Go change into your school uniform!

Alphonse: -goes into the room of changing-

Lexxa: I think that he's going to hate it.

Alphonse: -comes out in school uniform-

Lexxa: ALLOW ME TO ESCORT YOU TO YOUR PRISON!

Ichigo: It's not a prison…

Lexxa: Like hell it's not. Let's go. –drags Alphonse outside and to middle school- -comes back- Okay, I made him wear a camera hat so we can watch what he's doing. I will show the highlights when he comes back.

Edward: HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO MY LITTLE BROTHER!

Lexxa: Chill out…I swear it's no worse than Chinese water torture…

Edward: AND THAT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME RELAX?

Ichigo: Well…Yeah.

Lexxa: Let's see…What takes about seven hours…

Ichigo: We can watch Full Metal Panic.

Lexxa: Okay. EVERYONE! INTO THE VEIWING ROOM!

Everyone: -goes into viewing room-

-seven hours later-

Everyone: -comes out of room-

Alphonse: -comes back- -drops on floor-

Edward: AL! ARE YOU OKAY?

Alphonse: Evil…math teacher…worse…than homunculi…

Lexxa: Yeah, she'll do that to you.

Edward: SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?

Lexxa: -steals Alphonse's hat- Video time!

Everyone: -crowds around computer-

Punk Kid: Hey, look! It's a new guy!

Alphonse: Hello!

Punk Kid: Hey, wanna play a game?

Alphonse: I love games!

Punk Kid: I have a great game. It's called give me your money.

Alphonse: I don't have any money…

Punk Kid: -to the group around him- He doesn't have any money!

Group: -various sarcastic comments-

Lexxa: I think I'm going to skip this…

Alphonse: Thank you…The horror…

Edward: -give Lexxa evil glare-

Teacher: Everyone, this is Alphonse Elric.

Random Girl: SQUEE! DO YOU MEAN THE ALPHONSE ELRIC FROM FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST?

Alphonse: Uhm…Yeah?

Random Girl: I LOVE YOU! –tackles Alphonse-

Alphonse: Help…me…

Lexxa: Moving on!

Teacher: Okay, students. These worksheets are to be done in class. Begin.

Alphonse: Okay, this is easy. I like math…Wait…What's up with the letters…

Lexxa: Okay, I think that's basically all…

Alphonse: WHY MUST THEY BRING THE ALPHABET INTO MATH?

Lexxa: Because they're evil.

Ichigo: That's all for this long awaited chapter. –pointed glare at Lexxa-

Lexxa: I…have no excuse for making you wait this long. –hangs head in shame-

Ichigo: Go in the Punishment Corner.

Lexxa: -goes into Punishment Corner-

Ichigo: Now think about what you've done. Now, review!

_Lexxa: Can I come out yet?_

_Ichigo: NO!_

_Ed: Why would you make people wait so long?_

_Lexxa: …Iono…_

_Al: TOO MANY LETTERS! THEY HAUNT MY DREAMS!_

_Scar: THEIR FACES EXPLODE!_

_Lexxa: Can letters have faces?_

_Ichigo: NO PONDERING STUPID QUESTIONS!_

_Lexxa: Aww…_


	66. Kitty Rooms and Target Practice

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Today's reviewer is Dragonlover71491.

Lexxa: I love dragons, too.

Ichigo: First dare!

**Roy, you have to act like a dog, and Riza's your owner :) And she has to let him give her "kisses"**

Roy: -instant puppy action-

Riza: -sighs- Fine, I suppose it won't hurt too much…

Roy: -acts like the most annoying dog in the history of the planet-

Riza: -looks like she's about to snap-

Roy: -starts licking Riza-

Riza: -shoots air by Roy's head- Go in the corner.

Roy: -makes puppy dog face-

Riza: Now.

Roy: -goes into emo corner-

Lexxa: Next!

**Alphonse, let's see how you handle being in a room full of the cutest, fluffiest, most huggable kittens in the world.**

Alphonse: Kitties!

Lexxa: Well then, go into the Kitty Room!

Alphonse: -runs into Kitty Room-

Ichigo: We have a room dedicated to kitties?

Lexxa: …We have a lot of spare rooms…

Ichigo: I don't think that it's possible to have this many roo-

Lexxa: LOOK, A DISTRACTION!

Everyone: Whaaat? –looks where Lexxa's pointing-

Lexxa: Hm…guess it works outside of band, too…

Ichigo: …What just happened?

Lexxa: A distraction. That's what happened. Now, to the camera!

-on the camera-

Alphonse: I LOVE YOU ALL!

Kitties: -continue being cats-

Alphonse: SO CUTE!

Kitties: -look at Alphonse and continue being cats-

-off camera-

Lexxa: Yeah, I think that's the only thing that's going to happen. Since Alphonse is awesome, he can stay in there.

Ichigo: Next!

**And Riza, you have to let Edward use yr gun for target practice, help him so he doesn't accidently shoot somebody.**

Edward: I GET TO USE BIG BOY WEAPONS!

Lexxa: Calm down there, boy…

Riza: Okay, just hold it like this, no not like that! My God, do you want to kill yourself? Okay, now aim at that over there…NO DEAR GOD, NOT ICHIGO!

Ichigo: Wha?

Edward: Oh, you wanted me to aim at the vase?

Riza: NO, DUH IDIOT! Now, when you have it aimed pull the trigger. Pull the trigger. Pull the trigger. Are you going to pull the trigger?

Edward: …Which one's the trigger again?

Riza: Oh, dear God you're going to doom us all. It's this one. No, this one. That's not it. It's over here. WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT AIMING AT ICHIGO?

Ichigo: …Wha?

Lexxa: Ichigo, I think that you should get out of the way…

Ichigo: Okay… -gets out of the way-

Riza: Now, aim at the vase again…The vase. I said the vase. Does that look like a vase to you? Okay, now…pull the trigger!

Edward: -pulls the trigger-

Vase: -shatters-

Lexxa: Not bad, Ed.

Riza: Yeah, but I don't think that it was worth the heart attack.

Edward: HEY, I LIKE THIS THING! –starts aiming it at random things and shooting-

Riza: EVERYONE GET DOWN!

Everyone: -gets down-

Riza: -pries gun from Edward's hands- THIS IS NOT A TOY!

Edward: …But it was fun…

Lexxa: Last!

**Riza, you need to give Roy some hot and heavy ;)**

Lexxa: Riza! Come hither!

Riza: -comes hither-

Lexxa: FOLLOW ME INSIDE THIS ROOM SO THAT YOU CAN GET PREPARED!

Riza and Lexxa: -goes into random room-

-inside room-

Riza: Do I really have to do that?

Lexxa: Of course not. I don't wanna have to write stuff that graphic…So instead you're going to give him this! –hands over bowl of hot chowder-

Riza: …Chowder?

Lexxa: The heaviest of all soups.

Riza and Lexxa: -leave room-

Roy: What's that? –points at chowder-

Riza: What I'm going to give to you. –hands over chowder-

Roy: Wha?

Riza: It's chowder. The heaviest of all soups.

Roy: I don't think that this is what Dragonlover71491 had in mind…

Riza: …But it's hot and heavy…

Lexxa: I love loopholes.

Ichigo: That's all for this chapter!

Lexxa: Review!

_Roy: I swear that's not what she meant…_

_Riza: Are you saying that you didn't enjoy your chowder?_

_Roy: No, not at all. It was very good._

_Lexxa: I'd hope so. I used my secret recipe._

_Roy: …Should I be worried?_

_Lexxa: Not at all…_


	67. Scar Dancing and Homunculous Hugs

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Lexxa is now going to act like a psycho trying to get caught up on all of the reviews.

Lexxa: TWENTY-FOUR, BABY!

Ichigo: Why must you procrastinate?

Lexxa: …I don't know… But by the end of the day I want it to be down to at least eighteen!

Ichigo: I wish you the best of luck with that.

Lexxa: And, before we get into xxDangerousPiexx's dares, I would like to welcome back someone we haven't seen for a while.

Nikolas: Hello, all!

Lexxa: Have you gotten more entertaining since you've been gone?

Nikolas: …I guess so…

Ichigo: Does this mean that I can leave?

Lexxa: Nope, not at all, little boy!

Ichigo: -goes into the emo corner-

Lexxa: What? Don't you like torturing these poor people?

Ichigo: It's not that…It's just…I wanted to do something…

Lexxa: Too bad! Nikolas, would you like to do the honors?

Nikolas: First up is:

**Scar, I dare you to dance to "Can't touch this" (I got it off FMAB Abridged…)**

Lexxa: I LOVE THAT ABRIDGED SERIES! INTERNET HIGH FIVE! –gives xxDangerousPiexx internet high five-

Scar: -dances like he does in the abridged series-

Ichigo: Next!

**Roy, I dare you to sing "I will always love you."**

Roy: -pulls out random microphone- If I should stay I would only be in your way. So I'll go but I know I'll think of you every step of the way. –sings rest of song-

Lexxa: Beautiful.

Nikolas: Next!

**Ed, give all the homunculus a hug. Have fun!**

Edward: OKAY, ALL YOU HOMUNCULI! LINE UP!

Homunculi: -line up-

Edward: -hugs everyone-

Nikolas: I'm surprised that none of them tried to kill him.

Lexxa: Ditto.

Ichigo: So…Is that all?

Lexxa: Yup. That was a short chapter, wasn't it?

Nikolas: But I haven't seen you for a long time…

Lexxa: You can stay for another chapter!

Ichigo: Review!

_Lexxa: That was a very short chapter…_

_Ichigo: Shouldn't you be working on more chapters?_

_Lexxa: …No…_

_Ichigo: Are you procrastinating again?_

_Lexxa: …No…_

_Ed: JUST WORK ON THE CHAPTERS!_

_Lexxa: NO!_

_Ichigo: What happened to your goal?_

_Lexxa: …Goals mean nothing to me…_

_Ichigo: Go work on chapters._

_Lexxa: But…I don't wanna…_

_Ichigo: Go._

_Lexxa: …Fine…_


	68. Yaoi and Pikachu

Lexxa: Welcome back to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Nikolas: I'm still here!

Lexxa: Yes you are, and we are being joined with my good internet buddy, ChibiNeko313!

Ichigo: Internet buddy?

Lexxa: Yup, but only because ChibiNeko is AMAZING!

Nikolas: Let's get started!

**Lexxa/Roy- I'm going to explain to The Colonel what yaoi is**

Lexxa: Roy, into the Explaining Room!

Ichigo: When did we get an Explaining Room?

Lexxa: …Your mom…

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: ROY! INTO THE EXPLAINING ROOM!

Roy: -goes into the Explaining Room-

Lexxa: I hope that ChibiNeko is blunt with him. Everything's better when you're blunt.

Nikolas: Moving on!

**Winry- Seduce Ed. No wrenches. No complaints. You may stop once you have succeeded in making him blush to the point of tomato fever!**

Winry: Do I have to?

Lexxa: Yes. Yes you do.

Winry: Fine… -turns on her charm- Hey, Ed…

Edward: -starts blushing- H-hiya Winry…

Winry: -continues to seduce Ed (this author is too losery to think of seducing lines)-

Edward: -is now entirely red-

Lexxa: Okay, that's good!

Winry: Thank God. –turns off charm-

Edward: -faints-

Lexxa: …Hm…

Nikolas: Moving on!

**Scar- Dress up as Pikachu. Allow fangirls to hug you –personally not a fan, just thought it woul be funny-**

Lexxa: INTO THE ROOM OF CHANGING!

Scar: -walks up to door- THIS DOOR EXPLODES!

Door: -does nothing-

Scar: …How is this possible?

Lexxa: I don't know…Why don't you just use it like a normal person?

Scar: -opens door- But that wasn't fun or explody…

Lexxa: Just change.

Scar: -goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in Pikachu outfit-

Lexxa: RELEASE THE FANGIRLS!

Fangirls: -almost rip Scar to shreds-

Lexxa: FANGIRLS, EXIT!

Fangirls: -continue attacking Scar-

Lexxa: I SAID EXIT!

Fangirls: -ignore Lexxa-

Lexxa: RELEASE THE MARY-SUE!

Mary-Sue: What'cha need? –sees fangirls attacking Scar- YOU BETTER LAY OFF MY SCAR! –starts attacking fangirls-

Lexxa: Never underestimate the power of a jealous Mary-Sue.

Nikolas: I forgot about how scary she was…

Ichigo: You get used to it.

Lexxa: Mary-Sue, would you be so kind as to show these fangirls the door?

Mary-Sue: YOU FANGIRLS BETTER GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE AND AS FAR AWAY AS POSSIBLE! I WILL FIND YOU, BITCHES!

Lexxa: …Passionate. Nice.

Ichigo: …I'm scared…

Nikolas: Yeah…

Lexxa: Next!

**Hughes/Ed/Roy/Lexxa- Allow me to glomp yewww! I love you guys so much! –wudda glomped Winry too but I figured she'd hit me with a wrench! You're missin out, Win! My hugs rule!-**

Lexxa: Of course you can glomp us! COME HITHER, HUGHES, ED, AND ROY!

Lexxa, Hughes, Edward, and Roy: -get glomped by ChibiNeko-

Ichigo: That's all for this chapter!

Lexxa: I promise a new one soon!

Scar: I…think...I'm…dying…

Nikolas: No you're not.

Scar: Bu-

Nikolas: You're not.

Lexxa: Review!

_Scar: I have never experienced pain like this…_

_Lexxa: Not even when your arm was blown off?_

_Scar: Not even when my arm was blown off._

_Ichigo: Damn…Even I would think that getting your arm blown off would hurt._

_Lexxa: Ichigo, you never die. Ever. WHY DON'T YOU DIE, DAMMIT?_

_Ichigo: …You want me to die?_

_Lexxa: Nameless and I agree that it's about time for you to die and stay dead for a while. It's not fair for everyone else. _

_Ichigo: Nice to see how you feel…_

_Lexxa: …Ed never dies, either…Except, you know, that one time in the original series…_

_Ed: What?_

_Lexxa: Oh, yeah… You're Brotherhood influenced Ed… Nevermind…_


	69. Horseface and Ed Pillows

Lexxa: Welcome back to Wheel of Fortune!

Ichigo: …Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom…

Lexxa: That's what I said.

Ichigo: No it's no-

Lexxa: Welcome back, Sushi Hawkeye!

Edward: But you said-

Lexxa: Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom.

Alphonse: I heard-

Lexxa: FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST DARE SHOW OF DOOM!

Ichigo: …Okay then…Chill…

Lexxa: First!

**Risembool Rangers! Go Rangers! ^w^**

Edward: Roy, I'm much better than you.

Roy: NO YOU'RE NOT!

Edward: -nods-

Roy: -shakes head-

Lexxa: Next!

**Ed is hotter than a certain useless perverted flaming horseface.**

Roy: …Horseface?

**in fact, that' probably why he was the only one on fire while dancing in Roy's flaming rain. He burned himself because he was too hot.**

Edward: Finally, someone recognizes it!

Roy: …Shut up…

Lexxa: Hmm…If I don't stop this soon a fight will break out. But the question is: Do I want to break up the fight?

Edward: Horseface would lose.

Roy: I'M NOT HORSEFACE, DAMMIT!

Edward: Fine, Ponyboy.

Lexxa: NO! JUST NO! Ponyboy is too awesome to share the same name as Roy.

Edward: Wha?

Lexxa: …The Outsiders…Anyway, let's move on!

***gasp* Ed why didn't you tell your kids they were adopted? Eep! dodge Liv's sword! *blocks attack with my own sword***

Olivier: He. Is. Not. My. Father!

Edward: It hurts that you feel that way…

***still fighting***

**Roy you don't' need both kidneys to live if you have one you should be fine. And when you drink alcoholic beverages, you do know your liver is the one to suffer right?**

Roy: I FAILED GEOGRAPHY, OKAY?

Lexxa: Anatomy.

Olivier: -in corner panting-

**congratulations on setting the ran o fire, but why did you put booze in Riza's soda? *aims with a wrench in one hand, a shotgun in the other* *glares at sword tied to waist then at Roy***

Roy: It's funny when she's drunk…

Lexxa: Let's test that hypothesis! –gives Riza booze- Drink!

Riza: No!

Lexxa: Aw, come on!

Riza: No way!

Lexxa: Look, a distraction!

Riza: -looks away-

Lexxa: -forces Riza to drink-

Riza: YOU COULD'VE KILLED ME!

Lexxa: But I didn't.

Ichigo: Next!

**Camilla! *makes a dash for the chicken with knife in hand* stay back Roy, or the chicken gets marinated. Then cooked.**

Roy: NOT CAMILLA!

**Bring out the Rooster! *handsome rooster comes out from a box* *Camilla and Rooster are shoved together* stay back Roy. I stole your glove and I'm not afraid to snap and burn them. Who wants fried chicken? And if anyone sees eggs from the chicken after this dare, cook it and eat it.**

Roy: YOU'RE EVIL!

Lexxa: And serious. I'd do what she says, man…

Ichigo: Next!

**Riza, what were you saying before you were interrupted? Edward was…?**

Riza: I…forget.

Lexxa: Way to go, Riza.

Riza: I forget stuff!

Lexxa: Sure…sure…

Ichigo: Next!

**Yay Alphonse! Such a great actor. :)) that, or everyone else isn't as smart as I thought. Oh well. *shrugs***

Alphonse: Nope, I'm just a great actor.

Lexxa: -nods- It's true.

**RED DAWN! *throws pillows designed as Ed's face and plushies of Ed that have pockets in his coat with flamel shaped black candy***

Lexxa: That's…random…

Ichigo: Remember to review!

_Lexxa: Man these reviewers get antsy…_

_Ichigo: What do you mean?_

_Lexxa: One of them sent a review telling me to hurry up…But that's just the type of incentive that I need!_

_Ed: Does this mean that you want people to yell at you in reviews?_

_Lexxa: …No…_


	70. Envy Nosebleed and Automail Replacements

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Here's Storm Dryu!

Lexxa: No hard feelings for the loop hole?

Ichigo: First!

**I dare TRUTH and Granny Pinako to join everyone here (meaning people can dare the truth now)!**

Lexxa: Wait, wha?

Granny Pinako: I've been here…

Truth: Yeah, and she's been annoying my ass off the entire time!

Lexxa: …Truth curses?

Ichigo: Next!

**next...I dare uh...ICHIGO. go shirtless for the next 5 chapter! (XD just to try giving one of the characters a nosebleed)**

Ichigo: -shrugs- -takes off shirt-

Envy: -nosebleed-

Everyone: -stares at Envy-

Envy: -tries to clean nosebleed-

Lexxa: Next!

**Its been a while since winry got any dares, so winry, i dare you to replace ed's automail with one that forces him to drink milk every few seconds.**

Winry: -evil grin-

Edward: Aw hell…

Lexxa: YOU TWO! INTO THE ROOM OF SURGERIES!

Winry and Edward: -go into the Room of Surgeries-

**Finally, this is very slightly overboard, but I dare Roy to Exchange jobs with Riza (making roy the lieutenant and Riza, his superior, or Colonel.)**

Roy: …I'm a lieutenant?

Riza: _My_ lieutenant.

Lexxa: Enjoy that. Review!

_Ichigo: I think that was the shortest chapter you've ever made…_

_Lexxa: Yeah, well I'm tired…_

_Ichigo: So?_

_Lexxa: I LOSE CREATIVITY WHEN I'M TIRED!_

_Edward: THEN NEVER MAKE ANOTHER CHAPTER WHEN YOU'RE TIRED!_

_Lexxa: …Okay…_


	71. Short Confessions and Carmelldansen

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This chapter will be short-

Lexxa: Like Ed.

Ichigo: -because Chameleon52 only has one dare.

Edward: Wait, what did Lexxa say?

Lexxa: "Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!"

Edward: No, after that…

Lexxa: I was quoting, "Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!"

Edward: THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID! YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT ME BEING SHORT!

Lexxa: So you admit that you're short!

Edward: NO I DON'T!

Ichigo: Let's just move on with the dare…

**The FMA Cast has to dance the carmelldansen for 5 minutes (or longer).**

Roy: What's the carmelldansen?

Lexxa: LET ME SHOW YOU! –dances the carmelldansen-

Roy: …

Edward: So what, do we do that out here?

Lexxa: Nope. TO THE ROOM OF DANCING!

Everyone: -goes to the Room of Dancing-

Lexxa: Okay, so here's what you do… -demonstrates the carmelldansen-

Everyone: -more or less does the carmelldansen-

-five hours later-

Everyone: -is still doing the carmelldanen-

Lexxa: Okay, so that's all for this chapter! Remember to review!

Ichigo: And I apologize for the short chapter…

Lexxa: I'm not. THIS IS FUN!

Ichigo: -facepalm-

_Ed: Why can't we dance anymore?_

_Lexxa: Because the night guy threw us out._

_Al: Can't you just tell him to go away?_

_Lexxa: Did you see his eyepatch? I think not._

_Ichigo: Just get over it. We can dance tomorrow. _

_Roy: YAY!_


	72. Chickenman Returns and Bold Cutoff

**As a forethought, I would like to apologize to Cometflare that I did not do one of the dares in the way that you would've liked, but I found my way a lot easier and if I tried to do what you asked specifically, I probably would've made it into crap.**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: We apologize for the wait.

Lexxa: Even though you've had to wait much longer…

Ichigo: Because we wanted to make sure we got something right.

Lexxa: These dares are brought to you by CometFlare.

Edward: Is she nice?

Lexxa: Find out for yourself. First!

**ENVY I LOVE YOU~ *Hugs***

Envy: Why is this chick hugging me?

Lexxa: Are you deaf? She said she loved you.

**I like Roy too.**

Roy: MINISKIRT ARMY! TAKE THAT, ED!

Edward: Yeah, but I still have way more Rangers.

Roy: SHUT UP!

Lexxa: HOW DARE YOU CUT OFF THE BOLD LETTERS! They weren't done…

**So I made him this epic chicken suit whithe some features probably not safe at all for children, let alone adults, but its Roy and he's already demented as it is. Electrical, fire, or some other failure shouldnt a problem. *Holds up feathery chicken suit* *Smothering laughter* So, I uh...dare you to go try it again against the KFCfarm again.**

Roy: -grabs suit- -runs into Room of Changing-

Lexxa: Well then…I guess that he didn't need motivation.

Roy: -runs out in chicken suit- I AM CHICKENMAN, LORD OF THE CHICKEN! –strikes dramatic pose- I AM COMING TO SAVE YOU, LOYAL CHICKEN SUBJECTS! –runs out of the room-

Lexxa: Does he know how to get back to the KFC farm?

Ichigo: Wait for it…

Roy: -runs back into room- Uh…How do you get there again?

Lexxa: -grabs car keys- I'll drive.

Ichigo: You're old enough to drive?

Lexxa: …Sure. Let's go with that. –runs out of room-

Roy: WAIT FOR ME! –runs after Lexxa-

Ichigo: I CALL SHOTGUN! –runs after Roy and Lexxa-

Edward: …So what do you guys want to do?

Winry: -shrugs- How about Scrabble?

-in the car-

Roy: No fair! I wanted shotgun…

Ichigo: Yeah, well I called it.

Lexxa: -floors gas pedal-

Car: -does nothing-

Ichigo: …You do realize that the key goes in the ignition, right?

Lexxa: Of course I know this! –puts key in ignition and turns it- -floors gas pedal-

Car: -still does nothing-

Roy: You might want to put it in drive…

Lexxa: …Yeah… -puts car in drive-

Ichigo: Do you even have a license?

Lexxa: -puts on sunglasses- You don't need a license to drive a sandwich. –floors gas pedal-

Car: -starts moving-

Ichigo: …Did you just rip off Spongebob?

Lexxa: …No.

Ichigo: Lexxa, I think that stop sign meant that you should stop.

Lexxa: It's only a suggestion.

Ichigo: Bu-

Lexxa: I SAID THAT IT'S ONLY A SUGGESTION!

Roy: It doesn't matter! As long as I can save my faithful chickens, all the law breaking in the world will be worth it!

Lexxa: WE'RE HERE! –stands on brakes-

Everyone in car: -jerks forward-

Roy: -hops out of car- I MUST GO SAVE MY CHICKEN SUBJECTS! –runs into chicken farm-

Lexxa: WAIT FOR ME! –runs after Roy-

Ichigo: I'LL WAIT WITH THE CAR! –waits with the car-

Roy: -runs through the chicken coops flapping his arms up and down- I AM HERE! I HAVE COME TO SAVE YOU FROM A TERRIBLE DEATH! BE FREE, LITTLE ONES, BE FREE!

Security guard: What the hell is he doing?

Lexxa: Trying to free the chickens.

Security guard: Why?

Lexxa: Because he's –strikes pose- CHICKEN MAN! SAVIOR OF THE CHICKENS!

Security guard: -into his radio- Yeah, I got a couple of crazy people up here. They need to be detained and transported to a mental institution.

Lexxa: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPER! –runs towards car-

Roy: WAIT FOR ME, LEXXA! COME, CHICKENS!

Roy and chickens: -run towards car-

Roy, Lexxa, and chickens: -hop into car-

Lexxa: DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE!

Ichigo: -drives like a maniac- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN THERE?

Lexxa: Oh, you know, a cop tried to arrest us, Roy captured all the chickens, same old same old.

Ichigo: …Okay.

Roy: These chickens better be grateful.

Random chicken: -pecks Roy-

Roy: ONLY CAMILLA HAS THE RIGHT TO PECK ME THAT WAY!

Lexxa: Aww! Chicken love…

Ichigo: -parks car-

Ichigo, Lexxa, Roy, and chickens: -go into studio-

Winry: IT IS _TOO_ A WORD!

Edward: HOW THE HELL CAN IT BE A WORD?

Lexxa: WE'RE BACK!

Ichigo: ON WITH THE DARES!

**ill dare Ed something next. Make friends with Luna, my bipolar cat, I want to see if this actually works out.**

**Fair warning: Isn't to fond of being held or petted on her belly, don't make sudden movements or loud noises or look like a threat or she'll kill you...And Kitty is intelligent so if you insult her she'll kill your stuff or skin. Whichever is closer..And well, the best learn from experience! All I can say, is she can be pretty violent when she wants too.**

*Gives Luna to Ed who she is glaring at distrustfully*

*Eating popcorn* Now don't hurt him to much, hes a favorite charrie...

Edward: BRING ON THE CAT!

Lexxa: -holds out Luna-

Edward: Hey, little ball of filth!

Luna: -attacks Edward's face-

Edward: WHAT THE HELL?

Luna: -rubs on Alphonse-

Alphonse: Aw, she likes me! –pets Luna-

Luna: -purrs-

Edward: WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?

Luna: -hisses-

Lexxa: Hmm…Seems like cats don't like you. At all.

Ichigo: Next!

**Alphonse,.your likeable by everyone and much more responsible than your brothers.**

Alphonse: Woah woah woah woah. Woah. Wait a second. I have more than one brother?

Lexxa: It was probably a typo.

**I trust you with Luna should anything go wrong…Your so cute! * Hugs* and nice, so Luna wont hurt you. UNKKE THE DWARF. *Waits for long rant that will provoke cat***

Lexxa: Don't give into it.

Edward: I'm kinda fearful for my life…

Ichigo: That's all for this chapter…

Lexxa: Remember to review…

Roy: And remember to make no sudden movements…

Winry: -sneezes-

Luna: -goes bazerk-

Lexxa: YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!

_Ed: It hurts to breathe…_

_Al: I don't know why Luna attacked all of you people but left me alone…_

_Lexxa: It's because that devil cat likes you._

_Ichigo: It even attacked Lexxa. You know that's bad._

_Lexxa: So scary…_

_Ichigo: IT EVEN SCARED HER! _

_Lexxa: And I've seen what Mary-Sue does in her spare time…_


	73. Mustang Wife and Mei Hating

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: These dares are brought to you by salt.

Lexxa: Not salt!

Ichigo: Not salt?

Lexxa: Not salt.

Ichigo: Are you sure?

Lexxa: There was no salt involvement.

Ichigo: Oh…

Lexxa: The dares are from Kitsune-chan'w

**ed and al do a bit from nullmetal alchemist**

Lexxa: I LOVE THIS PERSON ALREADY!

Edward: Is that the thing that you were quoting a long time ago?

Lexxa: HECK YES!

Alphonse: We're doomed…

Lexxa: Here's your script! –tosses scripts at them- You too, Cornello! –tosses script at Cornello- GO REHEARSE!

Ichigo: So you just had those scripts lying around?

Lexxa: Yeah. Is that weird?

Ichigo: …No…not at all…

Lexxa: SO how long should I give them to rehearse?

Ichigo: I think that they should be good in an hour.

Lexxa: Then…IT'S GO FISH TIME!

-one hour later-

Lexxa: IT'S BEEN AN HOUR! –goes to room- -opens door- PERFORMANCE TIME!

Edward, Alphonse, and Cornello: -come out-

Lexxa: And…ACTION!

Cornello: And your brother is a…?

Edward: Mistake. Just ask mum.

Alphonse: Ohhh…

Edward: But you can't really, considering she's dead and all.

Alphonse: Ohhh…

Edward: Which frankly I blame him for.

Alphonse: Ohhh, Brother, stop it!

Lexxa: YAY!

Ichigo: Short scene.

Lexxa: Oh, there's something else that I want them to do. –whispers in Edward's and Cornello's ears-

Edward: There's something you should know about me.

Cornello: And what the hell is that?

Edward: IT'S THAT I MAKE THE BEST MEATLOAF IN THE HISTORY OF MAN! Oh, and I'm also a cyborg.

Lexxa: Yay!

Ichigo: That's…lovely.

Winry: What the-

Lexxa: Winry, you should see what you freak out about as a kid.

Winry: What?

Lexxa: TO THE VIDEO SCREEN!

-on screen-

Young Winry: I GOT MY PERIOD!

Screen: -goes black-

Lexxa: And that's the reason why you were freaking out when you were younger instead of finding out that your parents were dead.

Winry: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: Correction: What the shite.

Edward: What?

Lexxa: Next!

**al admits he likes elricest… only admits it!**

Alphonse: But I can't stand Elricest…

Lexxa: WHIP OUT YOUR ACTING SKILLS!

Alphonse: What?

Lexxa: Your task: pretend to be a person obsessed with Elricest!

Alphonse: …I like Elricest.

Lexxa: Good enough!

Ichigo: Next!

**roy tells us what he did to that mustangs wife!**

Roy: What?

Lexxa: Flashback camera!

-flashback-

Roy: I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR WIFE!

-end of flashback-

Roy: Ohh…That…Well…Erm…

Lexxa: OUT WITH IT!

Roy: Okay. The more _sophisticated_ people might not want to hear this. Consider yourself warned. I was…I was…jacking off.

Lexxa: THAT'S GROSS, DUDE!

Roy: IT WAS TO CLAIM DOMINANCE!

Lexxa: YOU GO ON TOP OF IT TO CLAIM DOMINANCE, NOT JACK OFF ON IT!

Ichigo: Uhm…let's move on…

**and lastly AL tell mai off for beeing creepy. u dont . u hate her and tell jer pandas suck. noooooo apologizing!**

Alphonse: -takes deep breath- Mei, you're creepy. Very creepy. I never have nor will love you. I hate you, and pandas suck ass.

Mei: -slapps Alphonse-

Alphonse: It was my dare! I was acting!

Mei: Okay then!

Lexxa: And that technically does not qualify as apologizing!

**andddddd i love lexxxa!**

Lexxa: I LOVE YOU TOO, STRANGER WHO I'VE NEVER MET BUT HAS AN AWESOME USERNAME!

Ichigo: Feel the love.

Lexxa: That's all for this chapter! Review!

_Mei: Are you guys sure that Al was just faking it?_

_Al: Of course I was faking it! I love you!_

_Lexxa: Feel the love._

_Tucker: Nobody loves me…_

_Ichigo: BECAUSE YOU'RE A BASTARD!_


	74. Ed Dancing and Scar Powers

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPERS!

Lexxa: The reason why Ichigo's overreacting right now-

Ichigo: CATCH ME IF YOU CAN!

Lexxa: -is because I found out from some…sources…that this fanfic is in danger of being taken down.

Edward: Okay.

Lexxa: -smacks Edward- But never fear! Should they try to take this down, I will repost it!

Ichigo: EAT THAT SHIT, BITCHES!

Lexxa: …Okay then…

Edward: So who's the reviewer?

Lexxa: The reviewer is .

Ichigo: PROFANITY!

Lexxa: Do you hear yourself?

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: "EAT THAT SHIT, BITCHES!"

Ichigo: …Oh yeah…

Lexxa: First up!

**I belive you to be awesome, Lexxa.**

Lexxa: AND I BELIEVE YOU TO BE AWESOME, TOO, ! And I love your username.

**1. make Roy choose between killing a chicken or working at KFC for a week…as the chicken chef**

Roy: DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE!

Lexxa: YOU MUST!

Roy: …Then I'll kill the chicken.

Lexxa: Any reasoning?

Roy: Because that way I'll only have to kill one. Plus, that one over there keeps on giving Camilla looks.

Lexxa: THEN GO MURDER THE CHICKEN THAT DARES TO LOOK AT YOUR WOMAN!

Roy: -picks up chicken- I WARNED YOU, MAN! –kills chicken-

Edward: He does realize that most of the chickens here are female, right?

Lexxa: …Homosexuality?

Roy: Okay. I'm good.

Lexxa: Next!

**2. I want Ichigo… TO DANCE… wit ED ELRIC! MUAHAHAHAH! (I thought the pairning might make for some trouble considering the difference in height) oh, and it has to be a waltz, or dirty dancing. and one of them has to wear a dress.**

Edward and Ichigo: YOU'RE GOING TO WEAR THE DRESS! Me? NO WAY! DON'T DENY IT, IT'S GOING TO BE YOU!

Ichigo: THERE'S NO WAY THAT I'M GOING TO WEAR A DRESS! ESPECIALLY SINCE ENVY'S BEEN GIVING ME LOOKS!

Envy: -blushes-

Edward: AND YOU THINK THAT ENVY WON'T GIVE _ME_ LOOKS?

Envy: -blushes even deeper-

Lexxa: THIS BOTTLE SHALL DECIDE! –spins a bottle-

Bottle: -lands on Ichigo-

Lexxa: THE BOTTLE HAS SPOKEN! –shoves a dress at Ichigo- Enjoy!

Ichigo: I hate you all. –goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in dress-

Lexxa: Aw, you're so pretty! –takes picture-

Ichigo: TURN THAT CAMERA OFF BEFORE I RAM IT UP YOUR ASS!

Lexxa: Language!

Roy: IS AWESOME!

Lexxa: That's not what I meant at all…

Ichigo: Come here, dammit.

Edward: -goes to Ichigo-

Lexxa: DANCE TIME! –turns on music-

-waltz stuff starts playing-

Edward and Ichigo: -dance the waltz-

-at end of dance-

Lexxa: Good job! But, Ichigo honey, you were kinda stiff.

Ichigo: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Lexxa: No need to get so huffy…

Ichigo: I'm going to change. –stomps into Room of Changing-

Lexxa: Wow that made him mad. I like it. Moving on!

**3. I want Ed to eat poop! I have no idea why…? O.o**

Edward: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: That _is_ kinda gross…

Edward: Do I really have to do that?

Lexxa: It doesn't violate any of my rules so…yep!

Ichigo: -comes out of Room of Changing-

Lexxa: Just in time to watch your dance partner embarrass and gross himself out!

Ichigo: What?

Roy: He has to eat poop.

Alphonse: I can't watch! –turns away-

Lexxa: ALL SQUEAMISH VEIWERS ARE ADVISED TO LOOK AWAY!

Ichigo: -looks away-

Lexxa: What, you don't want to watch?

Ichigo: No, I don't want to watch!

Lexxa: -shrugs- -hands Edward bag of poop-

Edward: Why do you have a bag of crap handy?

Lexxa: It's where I put my shitty ideas.

Edward: …Bad pun…very bad pun.

Lexxa: You might say it was a _crappy_ pun.

Edward: I think it's time to eat the shit. –plugs nose- -raises poop to mouth- -hand trembles-

Lexxa: -hits Edward's hand-

Edward: -shoves poop in face due to Lexxa- -spits out crap- I'm going to be sick! –runs towards bathroom-

Lexxa: IT'S SAFE TO LOOK!

Ichigo: That sounded gross.

Alphonse: WHY DID YOU MAKE BROTHER DO THAT?

Lexxa: It was a dare.

Alphonse: But sti-

Ichigo: SPEAKING OF DARES!

**4. I demand they all become exposed to yaoi! you don't have to write anything explicit. i just want to see their reactions when they read it**

Lexxa: INTO THE COMPUTER LAB!

Everyone: -goes into computerlab-

Lexxa: Go here! –shows a website that has yaoi-

Everyone: -goes to website-

Lexxa: READ, MY CHILDREN, READ!

Everyone: -reads-

-five minutes later-

Everyone: -has disgusted look on their face-

-five minutes later-

Everyone: -is in uproar-

Edward: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT?

Roy: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO DO _THAT_ TO ED?

Envy: I DID _WHAT _TO EDWARD?

Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE GUYS ON?

Winry: WHY THE HELL WOULD RIZA DO THAT TO ME?

Alphonse: -is rocking back and forth in corner-

Lexxa: And that is what happens when you let people read yaoi.

Ichigo: That's all there is, right?

Lexxa: Well…

**[Lexxa] to show my appreciation of your awesomeness, i bequeath you with the Scar's powers! Now wreak some havoc!**

Lexxa: You know, every time I read, "wreak some havoc," I think of Havoc.

Havoc: -is going insane from yaoi-

Lexxa: I HAVE THE POWER! –starts exploding things-

Ichigo: While I try to calm Lexxa down, remember to review!

_Ed: I'm still pissed about all that Elricest. WHY MUST THERE BE SO MUCH?_

_Lexxa: Because people on the internet are sickos. _

_Ichigo: Just tell me how the hell they put me and Toshiro together._

_Lexxa: Here's something that another author on here has said: If you like each other, you'll get paired up. If you hate each other, you'll get paired up. If you're ever in the same room as each other, you'll get paired up. No matter what, you're screwed._

_Ichigo: Shit._

_Lexxa: You know that they even paired up Toshiro and your sister Karin? _

_Ichigo: No. Fucking. Way. HE BETTER NOT TOUCH MY SISTER!_

_Lexxa: Chill, chill…It's all in your head, man!_

_Ichigo: What?_

_Ed: Ah, hell, I know where this is leading…_

_Lexxa: Be one with your inner turtle. Hey man, you gonna eat your lettuce now?_

_Ichigo: No._

_Lexxa: Eat your lettuce._

_Ichigo: No._

_Lexxa: Come on, be chill!_

_Ichigo: …Fine, I'll eat my lettuce…_


	75. Fauntlaroy and Elizabeth

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Today's chapter will be very short.

Lexxa: And the reviewer is oceanthatsoars.

Ichigo: First up!

**I have a dare for Ed and Winry. First they must confess their feelings,**

Edward: Winry, I love you.

Winry: I love you, too.

Lexxa: I think I know why there was no resistance!

Ichigo: At the end of Brotherhood Edward proposed to Winry using an alchemy metaphor…

Lexxa: …And Winry shot it dead by wanting to give more than what equivalent exchange allowed, thus accepting the proposal.

Edward and Winry: -nod-

**then discuss the names of their son and daughter.**

Edward: FAUNTLAROY! Our son's name will be Fauntlaroy.

Winry: …Why?

Edward: It sounds awesome…

Winry: I want our daughter's name to be Elizabeth!

Edward: That name's so _old_.

Winry: And Fauntlaroy's so _weird_.

Lexxa: There you have it. Fauntlaroy and Elizabeth.

Ichigo: …That's not weird in the slightest…

Lexxa: Remember to review!

_Winry: I WILL NOT NAME MY SON FAUNTLAROY!_

_Ed: WHY NOT?_

_Winry: WHAT KIND OF NAME IS FAUNTLAROY? IT'S NOT A NAME, IT'S A SOUND!_

_Lexxa: Woah, take that lovers' quarrel off here._

_Ed: IT'S NOT A LOVERS' QUARREL!_

_Winry: PISS OFF, LEXXA!_

_Lexxa: …Winry, where are you right now?_

_Winry: AT MY FUCKING HOUSE! DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?_

_Lexxa: Winry, leave the door unlocked._

_Winry: Why?_

_Lexxa: JUST LEAVE IT UNLOCKED!_

_Ed: Lexxa…What are you going to do?_

_Lexxa: I'm going to go over to that bitch's house and beat the crap out of her._

_Ed: WHAT THE HELL?_

_Lexxa: Nobody tells me to piss off._


	76. Flashbacks! And Lots of 'Em!

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: And this is a very different chapter.

Lexxa: This one will not have any dares, but we will be remembering awesome moments in this story's history.

Ichigo: Lexxa, would you like to gather the people?

Lexxa: Yes I would. ALL OF THE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN THIS FANFIC! COME HERE BEFORE I KICK YOUR ASS!

Ichigo: …That's not how I was thinking you would gather them…

Mary-Sue: Even me?

Lexxa: Are you in this fanfic?

Mary-Sue: Yeah…

Lexxa: Then get your ass over here.

Ichigo: So, in case you guys didn't hear this chapter will not have dares.

Lexxa: We will be remembering stuff complete with flashbacks.

Edward: Why?

Lexxa: Because I was looking back on this story and I realized that there was a lot of messed up things in here. Oh, and Nikolas is visiting.

Nikolas: Hey.

Lexxa: He's here because he has memories of this, too.

Ichigo: SO HELP US REMEMBER CRAP!

Roy: WHEN I WENT INSANE!

Lexxa: I remember that…EVERYONE! HAVE A FLASHBACK WITH ME!

_Lexxa: Gather round, children! It's story time!_

_Ed: What do you mean by story time?_

_Lexxa: I mean that I have a camera in that room so that we can watch what happens in there as he becomes one with the mustangs! –turns on a computer-_

_Everyone: -watches the video on the screen-_

_Roy: ATTENTION ALL HORSES! I AM YOUR NEW MASTER!_

_Mustangs: -look at Roy with nothing but disgust in their pony features-_

_Roy: NOW, BRING ME SOME GRAPES!_

_Mustangs: -start trampling Roy-_

_Roy: OWWWW! STOP IT! OUCH! AS YOUR LEADER I COMMAND YOU TO STOP TRAMPLING ME!_

_Mustangs: -continue to trample Roy-_

_-later-_

_Roy: I SWEAR I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS YOUR WIFE!_

_-later-_

_Roy: Hey, you guys! The grass over here is awesome!_

_Mustangs: -walk over to eat some of the grass being mentioned-_

_Lexxa: ...He ate grass?_

_Riza: I think he really has become one with the herd…_

_Al: Who's going to go get him?_

_Hughes: I'll do it!_

_Lexxa: Okay then… Just be careful._

_Hughes: Don't worry! –goes into room- -on computer- Roy! Come here, boy! _

_Roy: AHHHH! HUMAN!_

_Hughes: -pulls out carrot- Come here! Come on! Do you want the carrot? Come on! Get the carrot!_

_Roy: -carefully walks over to Hughes-_

_Hughes: Come on!_

_Roy: -starts nibbling carrot-_

_Hughes: -slowly walking backwards towards door-_

_Roy: -follows while continuing to nibble on carrot-_

_Hughes: -finally out the door- Good Roy! –slams door shut-_

_Lexxa: WE MUST REHABILITATE HIM TO ACT HUMAN!_

_Roy: -shakes head- What just happened?_

_Lexxa: Maybe not…_

Lexxa: That was a wonderful flashback.

Roy: I WANNA GO LIVE WITH THE HORSES AGAIN!

Lexxa: Why?

Roy: …They were nice…

Ichigo: Does anyone else have a memory?

Edward: Those horrible chapters where Lexxa and Nikolas had to speak foreign languages.

Lexxa: I don't think that the people need a flashback…

Ichigo: What?

Nikolas: I had to speak Latin and Lexxa had to speak Greek.

Ichigo: That sounds torturous.

Lexxa: It was. And annoying. TOO MUCH GOOGLE TRANSLATE!

Nikolas: And my lines had to get translated several times because Lexxa was the only one allowed to have subtitles…

Lexxa: Too much translations…

Ichigo: …Okay then…

Lexxa: I WANT AN ICEE! –runs to Icee machine- -makes Icee-

Nikolas: You guys never use that thing anymore, do you?

Lexxa: Not really. Sadly.

Ichigo: Let's continue remembering stuff!

Riza: There was that one time when Doc got sent to the loony bin…

Lexxa: That was fun. FLASHBACK!

_**Me: *laughs* you all are worthy people. And if you wish to call the loony bin, don't. I just escaped.**_

_**Cop: Where is she?**_

_**Cop #2: There!**_

_Lexxa: RUN AWAY, DOC! RUN AWAY!_

_-later-_

_**Cop: you're surrounded!**_

_**Me: well that was short.**_

_Lexxa: Like Edward._

_Ed: Wait, wha-_

_**Me: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!**_

_**Cop #2: *uses sedative***_

_**Me: Ha, ha hazzzzz..**_

_**Cop: We got her!**_

_**Me: I'l…be…back… *falls asleep***_

_**Cops: *leave and take me with them***_

_**Cop#3: Hey, isn't that the girl from before? *points to Lexxa***_

_Lexxa: SHIT! –runs away-_

_**Cop #4: You can't escape!**_

_Lexxa: YES I CAN! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPERS!_

_Cops: -start chasing Lexxa-_

_**Cop#2: Get the chicken man, too!**_

_Roy: NO! THEY'VE LEARNED ABOUT CAMILLA! HIDE HER! DON'T LET THEM GET AHOLD OF HER!_

_Ed: …What's wrong with Camilla?_

_Ichigo: I remember Roy telling me that Camilla was an illegal alien, or something._

_Al: …Can chickens even be illegal?_

_Ichigo: I don't know… _

_Lexxa: YOU CAN'T CATCH ME! I MUST BEG FOR REVIEWS!_

_Ichigo: I got your back! So, yeah, review!_

Ichigo: Oh, and there was also that time when Ed, Hughes, and Riza had to go to Candy Mountain and steal Roy's kidney…

Lexxa: FLASHBACK!

_**Ed Riza and Hughes: Kidnap Roy and take him to CandyMountian the entire time calling him Charle. Then steal his kidney. Don't tell Roy any of this.**_

_Ed: …Why would we want to steal his kidney?_

_Lexxa: I don't know! Ichigo! Get Roy!_

_Ichigo: -gets Roy-_

_Hughes: -wraps arm around Roy- Come on, Charlie! We're going to Candy Mountain!_

_Roy: Who's Charlie?_

_Riza: You are, Charlie!_

_Ed: We're going on a field trip to Candy Mountain!_

_Roy: FIELD TRIP!_

_Ed, Riza, Hughes, and Roy: -leave-_

_Lexxa: -pulling out camera- Stalker time! –follows Ed, Riza, Hughes, and Roy-_

_Roy: So, where is Candy Mountain?_

_Ed: …My gut says this direction! –runs off in random direction-_

_Riza, Hughes, Roy, and Lexxa: -run after Ed-_

_Roy: HOW LONG?_

_Riza: Nobody knows, Charlie. Nobody knows. _

_Roy: Wha? Oh yeah… I'm Charlie…_

_Hughes: Of course you're Charlie, Charlie!_

_Ed: I FOUND IT! –points to a huge mountain-_

_Riza: How do you know that's it?_

_Ed: The sign._

_Sign: This is Candy Mountain_

_Hughes: What are we waiting down here for? Onward, ho! –starts hiking up mountain-_

_Ed, Roy, Riza, and Lexxa: -follow Hughes-_

_Roy: We're at the top!_

_Ed: Hey, can I see your kidney for a moment?_

_Roy: What?_

_Riza: We want to see your kidney._

_Roy: Why do you want my kidney?_

_Hughes: …No reason…_

_Roy: …Okay then… -lays down on operation table that conveniently appears- Go ahead._

_Ed: I CALL SURGEON!_

_Riza: I CALL NURSE!_

_Hughes: I CALL THE PERSON THAT DOESN'T THINK HE'S GOING TO MAKE IT!_

_Roy: WHAT?_

_Hughes: OH, CHARLIE! YOU WERE SO YOUNG! HE CAN'T DIE, DOC, YOU HAVE TO DO SOMEHTING!_

_Ed: GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN! –slaps Hughes- I'M AN EXPERT! THERE WILL BE NO FATALITIES ON MY WATCH!_

_Hughes: You really mean it?_

_Riza: We will do everything that we can._

_Roy: …What the hell?_

_Ed: SURGERY TIME! –takes out surgery tools-_

_Riza: What do you need first, Sir?_

_Roy: I THOUGHT I WAS SIR!_

_Ed: Shut up, Charlie. I need the scalpel first._

_Riza: Scalpel. –hands scalpel-_

_Ed: Scissors._

_Riza: Scissors. –hands scissors-_

_Hughes: Be careful._

_Ed: Shut up. Taco._

_Riza: Taco. –hands taco-_

_Ed: Hot sauce._

_Riza: Hot sauce. –hands hot sauce-_

_Hughes: …Why do you need hot sauce?_

_Ed: Do you expect me to eat my taco without hot sauce?_

_Hughes: …What do you need the taco for?_

_Ed: I'm hungry._

_Roy: JUST GET THE DAMN KIDNEY OUT!_

_Ed: Alright, alright, sheesh. I need the scalpel again._

_Riza: Scalpel. –hands scalpel-_

_Ed: Scissors…_

_Riza: Sciss-HUGHES! GIVE ME THE SCISSORS!_

_Hughes: HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT! HE'S NOT GONNA MAKE IT! –cries hysterically-_

_Ed: He will make it if you would just hand me the damn scissors!_

_Hughes: Bu-_

_Roy: GIVE HIM THE SCISSORS!_

_Hughes: -hands scissors-_

_Ed: Okay…I need the stitching tool things…_

_Riza: Stitching tool things. –hands stitching tool things-_

_Ed: And…Okay. He's done._

_Hughes: IS HE OKAY?_

_Ed: Nope. He's going to die._

_Hughes: I KNEW IT! NO! HE WAS SO YOUNG! –goes next to Roy- DON'T YOU DARE DIE ON ME!_

_Roy: Hughes…I'm fine…_

_Hughes: ZOMBIE!_

_Riza: So it was a success?_

_Ed: Yes. I have the kidney! –holds up kidney-_

_Riza and Hughes: Ooh. Ahh._

_Roy: …What the hell?_

_Ed: By the way, you're never getting this back._

_Roy: NO!_

Lexxa: Ahh…Good times…

Roy: Didn't Tucker steal my kidney after that?

Lexxa: I think so…

Edward: Tucker is a creepy man...

Roy: And how did Hughes acting like the person who thought I was going to die help at all?

Hughes: OH MY GOD, ROY! YOU'RE ALIVE!

Roy: I'VE BEEN ALIVE!

Hughes: -hugs Roy- -starts crying- I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH!

Lexxa: So how's that for a chapter?

Ichigo: We _would_ keep going, but we don't want to make this too long.

Lexxa: So review!

_Ed: What was the significance of that chapter?_

_Lexxa: What? You didn't enjoy it?_

_Ed: No, it's always fun reliving Roy going insane, but I think that you should've tried to catch up on reviews._

_Lexxa: …No…_

_Ichigo: Lexxa…_

_Lexxa: I'll get them done…I promise…_


	77. Chicken Murdering and Ed Awesomeness

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Chameleon52 is back!

Lexxa: I LOVE LIZARDS!

Edward: I don't think that she's a real lizard…

Lexxa: …You have to ruin all of my fun.

Edward: Bu-

Lexxa: YOU RUIN ALL OF MY FUN!

Ichigo: …Let's just see the dares.

**Roy: Kill a chicken.**

Roy: WHAT'S WITH ALL THE CHICKEN MURDERS?

Lexxa: People like making you kill chickens. What's with your obsession with chickens, anyway?

Edward: I think that the Mustang Room really damaged him.

Ichigo: Do you still have the horses?

Lexxa: Yup!

Ichigo: So you've been taking care of them?

Lexxa: Nope!

Ichigo: THEN THEY'RE DEAD!

Lexxa: Chill out! I just said that _I_ wasn't the one taking care of them. That's Yoki's job.

Yoki: I don't' understand why it must be _my_ duty.

Lexxa: Because you're a scumbag.

Ichigo: Isn't there something we're supposed to be doing?

Lexxa: Oh yeah! Roy! Kill a goddamn chicken, already!

Roy: BUT I LOVE CHICKENS!

Lexxa: I would think that you were used to it by now.

Roy: Fine. I'll kill… -picks up random chicken- Pablo.

Lexxa: His name is Pablo?

Roy: Of course his name is Pablo!

Lexxa: …Okay then…just kill Pablo.

Roy: -kills Pablo-

Lexxa: Next!

**Then tell Ed how much awesomer he is than you.**

Roy: HE'S NOT AWESOME!

Edward: Yes I am. You just can't handle it.

Lexxa: Edward, don't make me go off quoting Danny the Tourettes guy.

Edward: What?

Lexxa: Quoting time! Ahem. Calm down, calm down. Don't go getting a big dick!

Edward: WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: BOB SAGGET!

Edward: WHAT THE HELL, MAN!

Lexxa: I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE! ALL YOU EVER DO IS SIT AROUND AND PLAY WITH YOUR TITS AND LOOK AT YOUR ASS AT THE SAME TIME!

Ichigo: Are you done yet?

Lexxa: Yes, I am done now.

Edward: …What the shite?

Lexxa: Roy! I didn't hear you admitting a certain shorty's awesomeness yet!

Edward: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SHORT? I'M TALLER THAN YOU!

Lexxa: And I'm awesomer than you.

Roy: She is way awesomer than you.

Lexxa: Now you just need to say that Edward is more awesome than you.

Roy: But he's not!

Lexxa: I have salt, and I have ice. You will either admit Edward's awesomeness or you will have to do the salt-ice challenge. And trust me, the salt-ice challenge hurts like hell.

Roy: …Ed's…awesomer…than me…

Lexxa: That's a good boy!

Ichigo: That's all for this chapter!

Lexxa: Review!

Hughes: The wind!

Lexxa: Ahhh…commentary quotes…

_Ed: So what exactly is the salt-ice challenge?_

_Lexxa: You cover ice in salt and you have to hold it._

_Ed: And how does that hurt?_

_Lexxa: It just does._

_Al: But I don't see how…_

_Lexxa: IT JUST DOES!_


	78. The Most Random Review Ever!

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This person didn't really have any dares, but it was by far the most random review that Lexxa's ever gotten so…

Lexxa: KasaneMikufan865 get's their own chapter!

***sees Dare fic. Spaz mode activated***

***Hugs everyone and runs away***

Lexxa: And that was the entire review.

Edward: You're right. Pretty random.

Lexxa: But AWESOME!

Roy: It _was_ pretty awesome…

Lexxa: That's it for this chapter…I'M SO SORRY THAT IT'S VERY VERY SHORT!

Ichigo: But, you know, she's going to work on another chapter right after this.

Lexxa: -nods- DETERMINATION!

Ichigo: Remember to review!

_Ed: Man was that short._

_Al: It barely cracked a hundred words…_

_Ichigo: But I thought you guys would like the break._

_Ed: No. Our break was when Lexxa ABANDONED us for like a month._

_Lexxa: I SAID THAT I WAS SORRY!_

_Ichigo: Never abandon us again._

_Lexxa: I won't._

_Ichigo: Ever._


	79. Beauty Pagents and Envy Dresses

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome back, DinRose!

Lexxa: TURTLE!

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: …Turtle…

Edward: …That's nice…

Ichigo: Let's just do the first dare…

**I dare Lust and Gluttony to switch personalities for two chapters.**

Lust: I'M HUNGRY!

Gluttony: I WANNA KILL SOMEONE!

Lexxa: …They nailed it.

Ichigo: No they did-

Lexxa: Yes they did.

Ichigo: …Whatever. Next!

**I dare envy to dress like a girl. Even more so that what he has been.**

Envy: What's that supposed to mean?

Lexxa: Dude. You wear a shirt that exposes your stomach and a skirt. You're a crossdresser.

Envy: I AM NOT!

Lexxa: Chill, chill. We all love crossdressing palm trees.

Envy: I AM NOT A DAMN PALM TREE!

Lexxa: Whatever. Put on this dress. –holds out dress-

Envy: NO!

Lexxa: Do you want to do the salt-ice challenge?

Envy: …No…

Lexxa: Then put on the dress.

Envy: -takes dress into Room of Changing-

Ichigo: Next!

**Ed, how would you like it if you were forced to join a beauty pageant? –evil smirk-**

Edward: NO FUCKING WAY!

Lexxa: Yes fucking way.

Envy: -comes out in dress-

Lexxa: AWW! YOU LOOK SO PRETTY!

Envy: -death glare-

Lexxa: I'm immune.

Ichigo: But, yeah, Ed. You're going to be in a beauty pageant.

Edward: NO!

Lexxa: INTO THE PAGEANT ROOM!

Ichigo: We got a Pageant Room?

Lexxa: Yeah.

Everyone: -goes into Pageant Room-

-one hour later-

Everyone: -comes out of Pageant Room-

Edward: HOW DID I NOT WIN?

Lexxa: You know that it would help if you smiled.

Edward: …Shut up…

Lexxa: That's all for this chapter!

Ichigo: Remember to review!

_Winry: Ed, why were you so upset about not winning the pageant?_

_Ed: …I wasn't…_

_Winry: You were basically crying about it._

_Ed: …Shut up…_

_Lexxa: He's just mad because he wasn't as pretty as Nina._

_Nina: I won!_

_Lexxa: Yes you did, Nina._

_Hughes: Nobody can beat Nina._


	80. Sleepovers and True Feelings

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: That is the only way that you ever introduce this fanfic.

Lexxa: …How about "I LOVE TURTLES!"

Ichigo: That's not even relevant…

Edward: Neither of you guys are being relevant right now!

Lexxa: …But I'm a turtle…

Ichigo: Not this _again_…

Lexxa: Hey, man…I'm just gonna eat some of this lettuce…

Alphonse: …Can I eat with you?

Lexxa: Sure, man. Come on.

Alphonse: Gonna eat some lettuce now. Gonna be chill like a turtle…

Ichigo: ALL OF THESE PEOPLE ARE INSANE!

Lexxa: Stop yelling. Your harshing my mellow.

Ichigo: You sound like a hippie!

Lexxa: Nah, man. The hippie era ended with Altamont Speedway.

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: Damn murder.

Ichigo: Let's just move on to LadyOfSlytherin101's dares.

**Tucker: BURN IN H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS FOR WHAT YOU DID TO NINA**

Tucker: YOU ALL HATE ME!

Lexxa: BECAUSE YOU'RE A TEMEE!

Ichigo: Temee?

Lexxa: I've started learning Japanese. Temee is bastard.

Edward: Of course it is…

**Envy: same to you**

Envy: What?

Lexxa: She evidentially doesn't like you.

Envy: BUT I'M A HELL OF A LOT BETTER THAN TUCKER!

Lexxa: Yeah, but she still hates you.

Envy: -goes to emo corner-

**Scar: I'm sorry for what happened to your people. I kinda understand why you killed those people im normally a. pacifest. **

**And I am A Warrior Maiden of Ishval**

Scar: It's alright. Thank you for your sympathy.

Lexxa: He kills people who kill people because killing people is wrong.

Scar: -pointed glare-

Lexxa: Was that not your logic?

Scar: Well…

**sorry Ed cookie as apology?**

Edward: I don't know what she's sorry for but I get a cookie! –noms on cookie-

Lexxa: And now onto the dare portion!

**Everyone please be nice for a week**

Lexxa: I can't really promise that, but I'll do the best I can!

Edward: But I'm not good at 'nice'.

Roy: We're all well aware of that.

Ichigo: Next dare.

**Mei Elicia and Nina: Monthlong sleepover my house with my neice and baby sister and then all exspense paid shopping spree and Disneyland trip**

Lexxa: Okay girls, have fun! But I'm going to make you come back if you get any dares!

Mei, Elicia, and Nina: -leave for sleepover-

Ichigo: Next!

**Ling: Kiss Lan Fan and admit your true feelings**

Ling: -kisses Lan Fan- Lan Fan. I love paintball.

Lan Fan: And I love penguins.

Lexxa: Aw! –wipes tear- I hope that I can find love like that one day.

Ichigo: Next!

**Roy: take a vacation and let me do your paper work**

Roy: SMELL YOU LATER! –runs into Central-

Riza: -raises gun-

**Riza No shooting roy**

Riza: -lowers gun-

**Scar: may i have a kiss since you're my hero?**

Scar: But I'm a monk…

Lexxa: Don't deny her kisses!

Scar: -kisses LadyOfSlytherin101-

Lexxa: And I'm sure that LadyOfSlytherin101 let loose a fangirl squeal.

Ichigo: Next!

**Al: Have a cute newborn Kitty and take care of it**

**Ed let him keep it or ill stick my sis on ya**

Alphonse: Kitty!

Edward: Okay, Al…You can keep the cat…

**Somebody kill Yoshi**

Lexxa: But I love Yoshi…

Edward: I'll kill it. What is a Yoshi, anyway?

Lexxa: -gasp- You don't know who Yoshi is? Haven't you ever played Mario?

Ichigo: Mario?

Lexxa: OH NO!

Winry: Since Lexxa's the only one who knows who this Yoshi is, I think that she's the one who has to kill it.

Lexxa: …But I love that dinosaur…

Ichigo: Just murder it.

Lexxa: …Okay… YOSHI! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?

Yoshi: Yoshi!

Lexxa: I'm so sorry for this… -takes knife- This hurts me… -viciously stabs Yoshi repetitively- DIE DEMON, DIE!

Ichigo: Yeah, you were so reluctant.

Lexxa: Next!

**Can I Please adopt Nina And Alexander? I really love them and i would take much better care of them than Tucker**

Hughes: MINE!

Lexxa: Yeah, sorry but Hughes beat you to it.

Tucker: I AM NOT THAT BAD!

Lexxa: Yes you are.

Tucker: NO I'M NOT!

Ichigo: Dude, you turned your daughter and dog into a chimera and had the insane person look in your eye immediately after. Yes you are.

**Cookies anyone?**

Everyone: COOKIES!

Lexxa: But none for Tucker!

Tucker: What?

Lexxa: You're a jack wagon. No cookies for you.

Ichigo: -eating a cookie- Remember to review.

_Tucker: Why must you guys hate me so much?_

_Lexxa: Once you do something terrible, there's no living it down._

_Tucker: But you guys love Kimblee!_

_Lexxa: Because Kimblee is awesome._

_Kimblee: Also, I wasn't doing anything as sick and twisted as you._

_Lexxa: You know you have to be bad if Kimblee hates you._


	81. Tea and Death Threats

**Disclaimer: I have copied and pasted a different person's fanfic in here to accomidate a dare. I do not own anything, and I do not claim to own it. But I wish I owned it because it's awesome. The name is mentioned, as is the author. Just wanted to put this here so that nobody got mad or anything.**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: And we have our favorite male reviewer…

Lexxa: Talon Graveshadow!

Edward: I like that dude.

Lexxa: Because he's not a girl, right?

Edward: …Bitches be crazy.

Ichigo: He has some stuff to say.

**Yo. Today I brought along my friend and second in command voice in my head, Shawn.**

Lexxa: …I should name the voices in my head.

**Shawn: 'Ello luv.**

**Ew Shawn, you dont even know Lexxa.**

**Shawn: Im only being a gentleman. You should try it mate.**

**Anyways, Shawn has some dares.**

**Shawn: Scar: Go 'splode Lexxa's least favorite character.**

Scar: Okay. Who do I make explode?

Everyone: -looks at Tucker-

Tucker: Shit.

Lexxa: EXPLODE THAT TEMEE!

Ichigo: Temee?

Lexxa: Bastard.

Ichigo: Ohhh…EXPLODE THE TEMEE!

Everyone: DIE TEMEE!

Scar: -puts hand on Tucker's head-

Tucker: -explodes-

Lexxa: Yay! The temee is gone!

Ichigo: Next!

**Ichigo: Attempt to drink 45 pots of Earl grey tea in under ten minutes.**

Ichigo: …Challenge accepted. –starts drinking tea-

Everyone: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

-ten minutes later-

Ichigo: I win.

Lexxa: I'm impressed.

Ichigo: Next!

**Mustang: Read aloud the "Fullmetal Tavern" fanfiction by Do a Barrel Roll in fron of everyone.**

Roy: I got this.

Lexxa: -hands Fullmetal Tavern-

Roy: _Welcome to the Fullmetal Tavern! We have garnered plenty of loyal customers, but we're welcoming for new, friendly faces! Our drink menu includes:_

_**The Edward: **__Served in a short glass, but packs a powerful punch. A bright red drink that seems to explode and leaves one in a painful daze for several days._

_**The Alphonse: **__Sweetly flavored like apple pie. Comes in an enormous metal tankard that easily dwarves the Edward. People who've heard of the Edward's potency often mistake the Alphonse for it._

_**The Mustang: **__Served icy cold, but goes down like liquid fire and can give a drinker the runs. Served tall and on the rocks, with a taste customers describe as "snappy." Popular with the ladies._

_**The Hawkeye: **__Served cool in a tall glass. Poplar with our male customers for its pleasant appeal, though one shot from our Hawkeye could easily knock out even the hardiest customer._

_**The Winry: **__Served with a sandwich, but the sandwich will immediately be forgotten in favor of the Winry's sweet, unique flavor. Very bubbly._

_**The Hughes: **__Nonalcoholic. Children love the Hughes just as much as the Hughes loves children. Served in a plastic cup that may gush all over the drinker._

_**The Scar: **__A shot of pure hard liquor imported from the southeast. Customers who try this shot call it a religious experience._

_**The Ling: **__Has a rich flavor, but one sip on your part and the Ling will suck you dry. One Ling will fuel your greed for more and more..._

_**The Hohenheim: **__An ancient recipe, though you wouldn't know it. Served in a simple mug. Its modest appearance belies its intensity. Do not pair it with an Edward, lest you desire great intestinal pain._

_**The Armstrong: **__One of our strongest drinks, the recipe has been passed down FOR GENERATIONS! Served in a mug so clean it's sparkling._

_**The Izumi: **__Though the alcohol used to make an Izumi is mostly drank around the house by stay-at-home-moms and the like, it is mixed to be our most dangerous drink, even more powerful than the Armstrong. The Izumi actually helped in the process of perfecting our Edward and Alphonse_

_**The Envy: **__Often called a girls' drink for its fruity flavor, but men drink it too, dang it! It's gender neutral! Serve in a shapely glass on a bed of palm trees. Maraschino cherries added upon request._

_Tell the bartender when you're ready to order! Tips are appreciated._

Lexxa: That was beautiful.

Ichigo Next!

**Envy: *hugs* *whispering* Im going to kill you later.. you killed Hughes… Im gonna stab you in the balls you bastard…**

Lexxa: He hates you, Envy.

Envy: -goes into emo corner- Don't stab me in the balls…

Ichigo: Don't worry. He probably wouldn't be able to find them…

Lexxa: -hits Ichigo- That does not help his self-esteem!

Ichigo: I know it doesn't.

Lexxa: Well then…Next!

**Ed: Go in chibi form for five chapters.**

Edward: Chibi form?

Lexxa: MAGIC TIME! –does weird wavy thing with hands-

Edward: -turns into a chibi- WHAT THE HELL?

Lexxa: Aww you're so cute!

Edward: SHUT UP!

Lexxa: Chill out…

Ichigo: Next!

**Ling: Here's 40000000000000 dollers. Go get some food.**

Ling: FOOD! –runs into Central-

**G'bye! *splodes into a british flag***

Lexxa: British people are hilarious.

Ichigo: That sounds stereotypical.

Lexxa: But it's true. I have yet to find one British person who is not funny. 'Course if I lived there, then it would be a different story…

Ichigo: Yeah…

Lexxa: Remember to review!

_Lexxa: Aw, Edward, you such a cute chibi!_

_Ed: Shut up. Just shut up._

_Lexxa: But you're cute!_

_Ed: Shut up. I will break off your legs and stick them on your head._

_Lexxa: Vicious… _


	82. Wolf Grievences

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: You're really trying to catch up today, aren't you?

Lexxa: Yes I am.

Ichigo: Doc is back. With some stuff exclusively for Tucker.

Lexxa: Not really dares, but she would like to air her grievances of being a wolf.

**NOW I SHALL HAVE REVENGE! *chomps Tucker's arm* NOW YOU MADE ME INTO A FEMAL DORCHET! YOU SHALL PAY! NOW ALL THE JACOB FANGIRLS CHASE ME BECAUSE THEY THINK THAT IM A WEREWOLF! SCREW YOU!**

**Not that I have anything against Dorchet… Ah hell.**

**I like cheese puffs. Deal with it. And my mind can slap you, because my mind is a ninja, and has a semi-solid form, perfect of bitch slapping.**

**Random fangirl: Look! It's the werewolf! Take us to Jacob!**

**DO I LOOK LIKE A FLIPPING NATIVE AMERICAN WEREWOLF?**

**RAndom faingirl: GET HEEEEER!**

**GAH! *gets chased off by fangirls* I HAVE TO TALK LATER BYYYYYYE! *throws dark chocolate to everyone***

Edward: That was very random…

Tucker: …She bit me…

Lexxa: -bites Tucker-

Tucker: Why did you bite me?

Lexxa: I hate you.

Alphonse: -nomming on dark chocolate- This is some good chocolate.

Everyone except Tucker: -noms on dark chocolate-

Lexxa: That's it for this chapter.

Ichigo: Review!

_Tucker: Why did everyone bite me?_

_Lexxa: Everyone hates you._

_Nina: Even me._

_Ichigo: You know that you have to be bad if even your daughter hates you._

_Ed: …Did Doc put something in the chocolate?_

_Lexxa: Why?_

_Ed: I feel like I'm…high or something…_

_Roy: DAMMIT, ED, I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT THOSE BROWNIES!_


	83. Seven Minutes in Heaven and Baby Names

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This chapter is brought to you by oceanthatsoars.

Lexxa: Even though I'm not entirely sure how an ocean can soar…

Ichigo: But it sounds deep.

Lexxa: First!

**I dare Winry to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Ed. Also they must choose baby names for their future kids. :)**

Lexxa: Into the closet!

Edward and Winry: -go towards closet-

Lexxa: No! Not that closet! That's the Mary-Sue closet! The other one!

Edward and Winry: -go into other closet-

-seven minutes later-

Edward and Winry: -come out-

Lexxa: Okay, now let's hear about those baby names!

Edward: I think we did this before…

Winry: Yeah, and the names were Fauntlaroy and Elizabeth.

Edward: FAUNTLAROY!

Winry: I still hate that name.

Lexxa: That's it for this extremely short chapter.

Ichigo: Remember to review!

_Ed: Why don't you like Fauntlaroy?_

_Winry: Have you heard that name?_

_Ed: Yeah…_

_Winry: IT SOUNDS LIKE A BRAND OF CHIPS!_

_Ed: IT'S BETTER THAN ELIZABETH!_

_Winry: WHAT'S WRONG WITH ELIZABETH?_

_Ed: IT SOUNDS LIKE A GRANDMA NAME!_

_Pinako: I have a better name._

_Ed: See? Granny Pinako doesn't like that name, either!_


	84. Waffles and Grell

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: And I promise that there are no brownies in this chapter.

Lexxa: And our reviewer is ChibiNeko313. I LOVE YOU, CHIBINEKO!

Ichigo: Calm down, girl. Chill out.

Lexxa: First!

**Ed: Rangers! "Be red or be dead!" Wootwoot! So your dare is to (of course) cosplay as Grell from Black Butler, and act like him for the rest of the chapter!**

Edward: Who's Grell?

Lexxa: A homosexual grim reaper.

Edward: …What?

Lexxa: Here's your costume. –shoves costume in Edward's hands-

Edward: -goes into Room of Changing-

Lexxa: While he does that…

**Al: I'm sorry for making your brother loopy this chapter… Hey, would you go on a date with my friend EL? She's really sweet and nice. And fragile. If you hurt her you will die… **

Alphonse: Who's EL?

Lexxa: She's in the Room of Dating!

Alphonse: -goes into Room of Dating-

Ichigo: Next!

**Envy: Wassup brohon. Wanna go, um… Like, eat some waffles and then tease Ed for being short?**

Envy: WAFFLES!

Lexxa: I think that's a yes.

Envy: WHERE ARE MY WAFFLES?

Lexxa: Go into the Waffle Room. ChibiNeko's probably already in there.

Envy: -runs into Waffle Room-

Ichigo: So now we have a room dedicated to waffles…

Lexxa: We sure do.

Edward: -comes out in Grell outfit-

Lexxa: Aww, who's an adorable Grell?

Edward: Kill me now…

Lexxa: Nope!

Ichigo: Next!

**Scar: You are now Pikachu!**

Scar: DAMMIT! NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN!

Lexxa: Yes, this shit again.

Scar: -turns into Pikachu- Pika pika!

Lexxa: Aww! Who's a good little Pikachu?

Scar: Pika pika!

Lexxa: That's right!

Ichigo: Before this gets any weirder…

**Havoc: Can you deal with the feisty ones? Cuz if you can, I have the perfect girl…**

Havoc: Course I can handle the feisty ones.

Lexxa: Now we must find out who the girl is…

Ichigo: There's a comment for Lexxa…

**And, finally, Lexxa: If this shows up, THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! I looove your darefic, one of the best out there! Bye bye!**

Lexxa: Aw, thank you! I try to make this awesome. Maybe that's why I haven't gotten a flame…

Ichigo: Either that, or people are too lazy to flame you.

Edward: Or you're not worthy of flaming.

Lexxa: …No matter what, this is a good thing!

Ichigo: That's all for this chapter.

Lexxa: Review!

_Ed: Why the hell do I have to be this Grell person, anyway?_

_Lexxa: Because ChibiNeko deemed it so._

_Ichigo: Besides, I always think that you had a little bit of Grell in you._

_Ed: What's that supposed to mean?_

_Lexxa: Dude, Ichigo just called you gay._

_Ed: WHAT? HOW AM I GAY?_

_Ichigo: Dude, explain the braid._

_Ed: MY BRAID IS BADASS!_

_Ichigo: Whatever helps you sleep at night._


	85. Battles and Tucker Shooting

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This review is from XAka-kitsune-toriX.

Lexxa: Let's hop to it!

Edward: Hop to it?

Lexxa: Yeah…

Edward: Okay then.

**Ed-…well…since you and Al are my tow favorite characters, i wont do anything.**

Edward: I WIN!

Lexxa: Sure…we can go with that…

Edward: What's that supp-

Ichigo: Next!

**Roy-Dare you to fight Envy with any kind of alchamy except for your flame alchamy, and dont kill eachother, Lexxa decides when to end the fight.**

Lexxa: INTO THE BATTLE ROOM!

Everyone: -goes into Battle Room-

Lexxa: Okay, Roy. Hand over all your gloves.

Roy: -hands over gloves-

Lexxa: LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!

Envy and Roy: -start fighting-

Envy: -is kicking Roy's ass-

Roy: -doesn't have enough time to draw transmutation circle-

Lexxa: THAT'S IT!

Roy: IT WASN'T EVEN FIVE MINUTES!

Lexxa: Dude, you were about to get slaughtered.

Envy: Wimp.

Everyone: -goes out of room-

Ichigo: Last!

**Riza-Use Tucker as target practice. What he did to Nina and Alixander was mean, poor girl.**

Riza: Gladly. –shoots Tucker-

Tucker: -dies-

Riza: -continues shooting-

Lexxa: Don't hold back.

Riza: -continues shooting-

Lexxa: I think that she's going to do that all night…

Ichigo: Remember to review!

_Roy: Is Riza still shooting Tucker?_

_Lexxa: Can it even be considered Tucker anymore? I mean, he has so many bullet holes in him he's unrecognizable._

_Ed: I wish that I could do that._

_Lexxa: Well, Riza got the honors._


	86. Slurppies and Food Forbidding

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This chapter is brought to you by-

Circus: -comes through studio-

Edward: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, HERE?

Circus: -leaves-

Lexxa: Who gave the circus permission to pass through here?

Ichigo: I think that was you…

Lexxa: What? When?

Ichigo: Right after Doc gave us the chocolate…

Lexxa: Chikasa.

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: Dammit.

Ichigo: …Anyway…this chapter is brought to you by Maruki Shitoichi.

Lexxa: First off!

**All: No cursing, swearing, and unpleasant words for 4 chapters (including the hosts) or I'll use my torturing remote if you searing, cursing, and etc. *evil grin***

Lexxa: I already broke that rule…

Ichigo: I don't think that it counts…

Lexxa: And I'm assuming no swearing in Japanese, either, huh?

Ichigo: No.

Edward: I think that I'm going to be tortured…

Lexxa: Moving on!

**Winry: Tell all the people in the studio, why you love Ed so much**

Winry: -blushes-

Lexxa: Tell us.

Winry: He's…awesome.

Lexxa: That's all you've got?

Winry: And amazing.

Lexxa: Well, Ed, don't you feel loved.

Edward: -blushes-

Ichigo: Next!

**Ling: No food for you for a year and you have to stay in an isolated room*evil laugh***

Ling: I'LL DIE!

Lexxa: Literally, but okay! –locks Ling in a room-

Ichigo: He'll only come out for dares.

Lexxa: But I'll probably forget to lock him back up.

Ichigo: Next!

**For the troubles, a slurpee machine for Lexxa-San**

Lexxa: It can go next to the Icee machine!

Ichigo: Okay then…

Lexxa: That's all for this chapter! Review!

_Ed: Is it me or have the chapters gotten a lot shorter?_

_Lexxa: This is what happens when I try to catch up on stuff._

_Ichigo: Then why are you on here? RUN!_


	87. Battles and Elicia Hating

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: These dares are brought to you by NewfieSandy.

Lexxa: Can I call you Sandy?

Ichigo: You know you won't get an immediate response right?

Lexxa: …Yeah…

Ichigo: First up!

**Al:Spend the whole day with Mary-Sue!**

Alphonse: You mean the crazy lady in the closet?

Lexxa: -nods-

Alphonse: Okay…I hope I don't die…

Lexxa: RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Ichigo: You mean Mary-Sue.

Lexxa: That's what I said.

Ichigo: No, you said kraken.

Lexxa: No, I said Mary-Sue.

Armstrong: HOW ABOUT WE RELEASE BOTH MARY-SUE _AND_ THE KRAKEN?

Ichigo: We actually have a kraken?

Lexxa: You'll be surprised what you can buy on E-Bay.

Ichigo: Okay then…

Lexxa: RELEASE THE MARY-SUE!

Ichigo: -releases Mary-Sue-

Mary-Sue: WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Lexxa: Woah there…calm down…

Mary-Sue: I WILL NOT CALM DOWN!

Ichigo: What's wrong with her?

Lexxa: I think she got her period…

Mary-Sue: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?

Lexxa: I SAID I THINK YOU GOT YOUR PERIOD!

Mary-Sue: IS IT YOUR BUSINESS TO KNOW?

Lexxa: NO, BUT YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A-

Ichigo: NO! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO CURSE!

Lexxa: Oh yeah…YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A JERK!

Mary-Sue: Whatever. What did you want anyway?

Alphonse: …I really don't like this dare…

Lexxa: Al over there has to spend the day with you.

Mary-Sue: Come on, Al. Let's go get some chocolate.

Lexxa: Period.

Mary-Sue: -death glare-

Lexxa: -death glare-

Al and Mary-Sue: -leave-

Lexxa: Next!

**Hughes:Slap your daughter and tell her in between each slap you hate her(continue for three chapters)**

Hughes: BUT I DON'T WANT TO HURT MY BABY!

Elicia: Don't worry, Daddy. I know that you can't help it.

Hughes: -hugs Elicia- I'M SO SORRY! –starts slapping Elicia gently- I…hate you…

Lexxa:: Aww…Poor Hughes…

Ichigo: Next!

**Ed:Fight a one on one match with Roy till you blow up the studio!(no alchemy for either of you)**

Edward: Then how are we supposed to blow up the studio?

Lexxa: With these explosives. –hands each explosives-

Roy: LET'S DO THIS THING!

Edward and Roy: -have epic battle-

Roy: -blows up studio-

Lexxa: And now, through my awesome magic, LET THERE BE STUDIO!

Ichigo: And there was studio. Lexxa saw this and thought it was good.

Lexxa: …Yeah…It _is_ good.

Ichigo: Finally.

**Lexxa:Give your favorite person the largest slurppie on Earth!**

Lexxa: -makes huge slurppie- -hands to Olivier- You're pretty epic, Olivier.

Olivier: -takes slurppie- Um…thanks…

Lexxa: Now that's over, so remember to review!

_Olivier: I'm still not done with that slurppie…_

_Lexxa: I'd hope not. It was a record breaker._

_Ichigo: Then why didn't you let anyone see it to break the record?_

_Lexxa: Records are stupid._

_Ichigo: Okay then…_


	88. Al's Team and Tucker Slapping

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Why do you have to keep saying that?

Lexxa: It's now a tradition.

Ichigo: Can we change that tradition?

Lexxa: No. No we cannot.

Ichigo: Well, anyway, this review's from animelover102.

Lexxa: Most of it is just saying stuff, but still, let's see what she has to say!

**hi lexxa omg your show is awesome**

Lexxa: Why, thank you. You seem pretty awesome as well.

**ichigo: omg hi im a big fan so is my brother**

Ichigo: Yeah! I get fans!

Lexxa: Of course you get fans. You are the main character of another show, you know.

Edward: YOU BROKE THE FOURTH WALL!

Alphonse: AGAIN!

**ed: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH**

Edward: RISEMBOOL RANGER!

Roy: STOP RUBBING IT IN!

**al: you're my fav too**

Alphonse: Aw, thank you.

Lexxa: Hm…we need a name for Alphonse's team…KITTEN CUDDLERS!

Ichigo: Okay then…

**roy: again why are you married to a chicken**

Roy: BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH!

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Roy: SEE? She only does that out of love.

Lexxa: Now, here's the only dare.

**everyone: i dare you guys to slap the person you hate the most**

Everyone: -takes turns slapping Tucker-

Tucker: Wha?

Lexxa: Okay, Tucker. Who do you hate the most?

Tucker: Well…

Lexxa: And you need to slap him slash her.

Tucker: … -slaps Lexxa-

Lexxa: -starts attacking Tucker- HOW DARE YOU HIT A LADY? YOU MUST DIE!

Ichigo: And that's all for this chapter. Since Lexxa is…busy…I'll say it. Remember to review!

_Lexxa: How dare he hit me._

_Edward: Bet you're wishing that you could use unpleasant words, huh._

_Lexxa: I sure am._

_Ichigo: Too bad that you can't._

_Lexxa: Don't rub it in._


	89. Scar Hating and Soap Bombs

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This chapter is going to be particularly long…

Lexxa: And it's from Devil'sEyeAlchemist13 or, as I have been told to call her, Kaede.

Ichigo: Let's get started!

**Scar-Just gotta say, I did a Pikachu dare for you too in mine. You killed everyone but the people in the show, so I hate you.**

Scar: Aw…

Lexxa: FEEL THE HATE!

**Ed- I invite you to my dairy farm. Since Paul is off today, Edward, you will be incharge of milking all the cows and making sure the freezer's still good by tasting it. Have fun! And you're not getting payed either.**

Edward: WHAT?

Lexxa: Have fun!

Edward: -stomps into Central-

**Al- I will send you a cat if you can fill in the blanks to this skit on Youtube. It's called "Firestar doesn't like Waffles" And no, I didn't make it. I'm too much of a baka to do that.**

Ichigo: He's too much of a what?

Lexxa: I FINALLY UNDERSTAND! When I first got this review I was all like, baka? What's that supposed to be? But then I decided to take up learning Japanese and I learned that baka meant idiot!

Ichigo: Ohhh.

Lexxa: Here's the thing that Al must fill out!

**Graystripe:**

**Firestar: **

**Graystripe:**

**Ravenpaw:**

**Cloudpaw:**

**Random cats:**

**Cloudpaw:**

**Firestar:**

Lexxa: Begin!

Alphonse: Uhm…maybe it's

Graystripe: Hey, do you like waffles?

Firestar: I don't like waffles.

Graystripe: Why don't you like waffles?

Ravenpaw: Everyone likes waffles.

Cloudpaw: They're awesome.

Random Cats: We love waffles!

Cloudpaw: See?

Firestar: I just don't like them.

Lexxa: WRONG! Here's the answer:

**Graystripe: Ooooooooh, its waffle time, its waffle time, would like waffs of mine?**

**Firestar: For the last time Graystripe… I DON'T KNOW HWAT A WAFFLE IS!**

**Graystripe: Firestar doesn't like waffles…!**

**Ravenpaw: Firestar deosn't like waffles?**

**Cloudpaw: Firestar doesn't like cookiessssss!**

**Random Cats: Kittypet…waffles...? Ooh I like blahblahblah**

**Cloudpaw: Puppies, ponies and myspaceDOTcom…**

**Firestar: AAAAHHHH! I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!**

Ichigo: Much how I feel, Firestar.

Lexxa: Hey, I resemble that remark!

Ichigo: You said resemble.

Lexxa: Yeah.

Ichigo: Don't you mean resent?

Lexxa: I know what I said.

**Didn't get it? Well, as the deli guy from Seinfeld would say, "No cat for you!"**

Lexxa: THE SOUP NAZI!

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: The Soup Nazi…

**Roy: Sing "It will Rain' By Bruno Mars. I LUV THAT SONG! 3**

Roy: Okay then… If you ever leave me baby, leave some morphine at my door! –sings rest of song-

Lexxa: Very good, sir.

Ichigo: When did you turn British?

Lexxa: I didn't.

Ichigo: Okay then…

**Riza: Two things: One, adopt a red tailed hawk. Two, admit your real feelings for the Colonel or so help me I will brainwash you to admit it!**

Riza: Okay, where's the hawk?

Lexxa: -hands Riza hawk-

Riza: And secondly, I think that the Colonel is a total jack wagon.

Lexxa: And she's only saying that because we're forbidden from using bad words.

**Kimblee: I know this girl (who isn't me) who wants to marry you. *hands him a fuse and a bar of soap* make a bomb. I'll give it to her and tell her it's a candle.**

Kimblee: Okay! –makes bomb-

Lexxa: Good job!

**Greedling: What do you want after you get everything? There's nothing left to get, so you'd basically end your greed, but that's impossible unless you die, so you'd die, right? If that is true, than I want you to hopelessly fail in getting everyithing you want. YOU ARE MY FAV HOMUNCULOUS!**

Greed: Okay then…

Lexxa: Hmm…team name is needed…THE GREEDINATORS!

Ichigo I think that'll do it.

**Winry- *takes all her wrenches* No hurting Edo-kun!**

Winry: Fine…

**And just so you know, I'm an Ed, Roy, Kimblee, and Greedling fan…**

Lexxa: Risembool Ranger, Miniskirt Army, Greedinator, and now Kimblee needs a team name.

Ichigo: Explosive Engineers?

Lexxa: That works!

Ichigo: And, for the generally the rest of the review, Kaede goes on to explain why hell can be either exothermic or endothermic.

Lexxa: I don't think that there are too many people out there that would like to read it, so I'll give you the jist of it. There was this professor that had a mid-term that had this question on it. Most of his students sided with it, but one of the students argued for both sides at the same time. This student received the only "A".

Ichigo: So yeah…

Lexxa: Remember to review!

_Ed: Do you enjoy coming up with team names?_

_Lexxa: Why yes. Yes I do._

_Ed: Why?_

_Lexxa: Why not?_

_Ichigo: I think that she's finally lost her mind._

_Lexxa: What was that?_

_Ichigo: Nothing…_


	90. Shizzlesticks and the Corner of Shame

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome back, petaltailify97!

Lexxa: I'm assuming that you have some awesome dares, right?

Ichigo: There's only one way to find out.

Lexxa: First!

**Kimblee: Alright, I know it was just Memorial Day, but I want you to surprise America from Hetalia by making some awesome Fourth of July fireworks for him that say 'ALFRED'S THE HERO!' Though it may be the fourth of July by the time you reach this review.**

Lexxa: Har-de-har-har.

Ichigo: You need some ice for that burn?

Lexxa: -death glare-

Kimblee: Where's America?

America: Here I am!

Kimblee: Then sit back and enjoy the show! –phsyco grin- -sets off fireworks-

Fireworks: ALFRED'S THE HERO!

America: That…was…AWESOME!

Kimblee and America: -have awesome conversation-

Lexxa: Next!

**Ed: Use alchemy to make a portal to the Underworld and throw a fake kitty inside. Say "OH HOLY SHIZZLESTICKS! THAT POOR KITTY FELL INTO HELL!" and see what Al does. If he does what I think he's gonna do, let Mary-Sue help him out.**

Edward: Fine… -makes portal to Underworld- -throws fake kitty- OH HOLY SHIZZLESTICKS! THAT POOR KITTY FELL INTO HELL!

Alphonse: I'LL SAVE IT! –dives into Hell-

Lexxa: She called it.

Mary-Sue: -saves Alphonse-

Alphonse: -cuddles real kitty-

Lexxa: Where did that cat come from?

Alphonse: It was the one that Edward saw fall into Hell, isn't it?

Lexxa: The one that was in there was fake…

Everyone: -looks at cat-

Cat: -hisses violently-

Everyone: -backs away from cat-

Lexxa: Let's move on…

**Winry: Sing a special version of World is Mine to Ed that I worte just for you! **

Winry: The number one mechanic in all of Rush Valley. You should know by now how to treat your automail right. Got it? –sings rest of song-

Lexxa: Next!

**Riza: Brainwash Roy to think he's a killing machine for an hour and release him into the Land of Chickens. Record it, and when he snaps out of it play the video back to show Camilla and him the great sin he committed to all of chickenkind.**

Riza: How do I brainwash people?

Lexxa: INTO THE STAR WARS ROOM!

Riza: Why?

Lexxa: So you can learn how to use the force.

Riza: Okay then… -goes into Star Wars Room-

Lexxa: Roy, can you sit in this chair for a moment?

Roy: Okay then. –sits in chair-

Lexxa: QUICK! TIE HIM UP!

Ichigo: -ties Roy to chair-

Roy: Why did you tie me up?

Lexxa: You'll see.

Riza: -comes out of room- I've mastered the force.

Lexxa: HYPNOTISE, WOMAN!

Riza: -waves hand in Roy's face- You are a chicken killing machiene for the next hour.

Roy: I will e a chicken killing machiene for the next hour.

Lexxa: HURRY! INTO THE CAR!

Lexxa, and Riza: -run into car-

Ichigo: -unties Roy-

Roy and Ichigo: -run into car-

Car: -goes to Chicken Land-

Lexxa: RELEASE THE ROY!

Roy: -goes on a chicken killing spree-

Riza: -films Roy-

-one hour later-

Roy: What am I doing here?

Lexxa: -puts hand over Roy's eyes- INTO THE CAR!

Roy and Lexxa: -go into car-

Car: -goes back to studio-

Roy, Lexxa, Riza, and Ichigo: -run into studio-

Lexxa: Okay, Camilla and Roy, I need you to go into the Veiwing Room.

Lexxa, Roy, and Camilla: -go into Veiwing Room-

Lexxa: I have something that you should see. –plays video-

Camilla: -pecks Roy-

Roy: -turns pale- WHY WOULD I DO SUCH A THING?

Lexxa: Roy, the first step of solving a problem is admitting that you have a problem.

Roy: But I don't have a problem…

Lexxa: THEN WHY DID YOU KILL ALL THOSE CHICKENS?

Roy: I don't know…

Ichigo: -runs into room- LEXXA! THE CIRCUS IS BACK!

Lexxa: I'M GONNA KICK THEIR BUTTS! –goes out-

Circus: -is circusy-

Lexxa: GET OUT OF MY STUDIO, NOW!

Circus: -is still circusy-

Lexxa: -punches clown- I SAID NOW!

Circus: -leaves-

Lexxa: Good. That's what I thought.

Ichigo: So, I think we should leave Roy alone.

Lexxa: Okay. Remember to review!

_Roy: Why did I kill all the chickens?_

_Lexxa: I don't know. SIT IN THE CORNER OF SHAME!_

_Roy: BUT I LOVE CHICKENS! WHY WOULD I KILL THEM?_

_Lexxa: Why don't you tell me?_

_Ichigo: By the way, you were under hypnosis._

_Roy: What's that? Is that like a drug?_

_Lexxa: Sure…_


	91. More Loopholes and Babysitting

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome back, Dragonlover71491!

Lexxa: No hard feelings about the loophole?

**Nice job finding a loophole, not!**

Lexxa: Apparently you're still upset about the loophole…

**This time will be sure to work.**

Lexxa: You dare underestimate my loopholing powers?

**Here's a bitless bridle and saddle, you are to put it on Roy and Riza has to ride him for an hour, no complaints!**

Lexxa: Oh, how ironic that we just got our new horse today. Everyone, say hello to Roy!

Everyone: Hi, Roy!

Lexxa: Okay, Riza. You know your dare. Here, let me put on the bridle and saddle. –puts on bridle and saddle-

Riza: -rides Roy the Horse-

Lexxa: Try that on for size, Dragonlover71491. The competitions on.

**Ed! You get to run around in your underwear, while shouting "I'm a blonde shrimp with no life," at the top of your lungs.**

Edward: What?

Lexxa: Run around in your underwear and yell, "I'M A BLONDE SHRIMP WITH NO LIFE!"

Edward: …-takes off clothes except underwear- -runs around- I'M A BLONDE SHRIMP WITH NO LIFE! –puts back on clothes-

Lexxa: Okay.

**Riza, you have to babysit Elicia for Hughes.**

Riza: Okay.

Elicia: I LOVE YOU, RIZA!

Riza: I love you, too.

**Winry, smash Al to bits with your wrench.**

Alphonse: WHAT DID I DO?

Winry: I'm sorry, Al. –smashes Alphonse to bits with wrench-

**And finally, all of the homunculus have to do the hula, grass skirts and coconut bras included!**

Lexxa: Into the Room of Changing!

Homunculi: -go into Room of Changing- -come out in grass skirts and coconut bras- -dance the hula-

Ichigo: Well, that's all.

Lexxa: Review!

_Ichigo: Do you think that Dragonlover will get mad at us?_

_Lexxa: I don't know. I hope not, though. This would be fun if it became a competition. _

_Ichigo: Competition?_

_Lexxa: Yeah, and if she submits a dare that I can't find a loophole in, I could say that she was the supreme mistress of awesomeness and that I am powerless due to her awesomeness._

_Ichigo: Okay then…_

_Lexxa: I hope it becomes a competition._


	92. Civil War Reenactments and RoShamBo

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Please welcome, CharlieSheenThe2nd!

Lexxa: Two and a Half Men was way better with Charlie Sheen. Now it's just crap.

Ichigo: First!

**Now, the entire cast must participate in a Civil War reenactment, but Scar is General Lee and yells FUS RO DAH instead of the usual. **

Lexxa: I CALL GENERAL GRANT!

Ichigo: Okay, everyone pick their sides!

Everyone: -joins either Union or Confederacy-

Lexxa: I SHALL WIN THE WAR!

Scar: FUS RO DAH!

Everyone: -fake battles with each other-

Lexxa: -gets fake hit- No! I'm…going…down…tell…my mother…I…love…pancakes… -fake passes out-

Scar: NO! IF SHE DIES, WHO THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO SURRENDER TO IN THE APPOMATTOX COURT HOUSE?

Ichigo: Your mom.

Scar: SHE'S DEAD!

Ichigo: Okay.

Lexxa: Okay, I think we're good.

Ichigo: Next!

**Everybody but Ed n Al forget Envy isn't exactly female, n are attracted to Envy like in the chibi party.**

Lexxa: I'm kinda disgusted by this concept.

Edward: At least _I_ don't have to do that…

Everyone: -looks at Envy-

Envy: -is Envy-

Everyone except Edward and Alphonse: -gasp-

Envy: What?

Edward: …I'm starting to remember the chibi party…

Alphonse: Yeah…

Envy: Seriously, what?

Everyone: -continues staring at Envy-

Envy: -is still Envy-

Lexxa: Let's just move on because nothing else really happened…

**Ling and Bradley have to play RoShamBo.**

Lexxa: What's RoShamBo?

Everyone: -shrugs-

Lexxa: Well, Ling and Bradley have to play it.

Ling: But how do we play it?

Lexxa: Wing it.

Ling and Bradley: -play RoShamBo-

Lexxa: Okay, so remember to review!

_Ichigo: What was up with that chibi party thing anyway?_

_Lexxa: It was an OVA where everyone was a chibi and they were having a party after the first movie._

_Ichigo: Oh…_


	93. Mustang Apologies and Neutering

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Hello there, people of Fanfiction Land!

Lexxa: Because it's a land now.

Ichigo: Not just a website.

Lexxa: Today's reviewer is Kitsune-chan'w.

**firstly i must apologize in advance for your dare Al! **

Alphonse: I'm scared now.

**Roy just no… why would you do that! You must go apologize to those mustangs and buy them something nice!**

Roy: I MUST RETURN TO THE MUSTANGS! –runs into Mustang Room-

Lexxa: To the camera! –turns on computer-

Roy: I HAVE RETURNED!

Horses: -run away from Roy-

Roy: No! Don't you guys remember me?

Horses: -eye Roy nervously-

Roy: I guess I have to be one with the herd again…

Lexxa: -turns off computer- He has to do this again? I guess we just have to move on for now…

**Al unfortunately your brother has lived to long and you must kill him! Or because im a twisted person you can neuter him! Your choice.**

Alphonse: I think I would rather neuter him than have him killed…

Edward: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Lexxa: Ed, would you rather lose the ability to have babies or be dead?

Edward: …Lose the ability to have babies…

Lexxa: So here you go, Al. –hands instructions of how to perform vasectomy- Take this and your brother into the Room of Surgeries and don't kill him!

Edward and Alphonse: -go into Room of Surgeries-

Lexxa: Let's check on Roy! –turns on computer-

Roy: Do you guys remember me yet?

Horses: -look at Roy-

Lexxa: -turns off computer-

**Mei you must stop loving Al at once! I have already claimed him! So back off!**

Mei: You wanna battle for him?

Lexxa: I don't know…She should tell us.

Ichigo: Yes she should.

Roy: -runs out of Mustang Room- LEAVE ME ALONE!

Lexxa: What happened?

Roy: THEY TRIED TO EAT ME!

Ichigo: I don't think that happened…

Roy: BUT IT DID!

Lexxa: -slaps Roy- GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF, MAN!

Roy: Bu-

Lexxa: -slaps Roy-

**Lastly fir Lexxa i give her the all powerfull Hell stone! IT makes people get a little painfull taste of Hell!**

Lexxa: YEAH!

Roy: -in fetal position-

Ichigo: Lexxa, I want you to be careful with that…

Lexxa: NO! –hits Ichigo with Hell stone-

Ichigo: OW! And I don't think that's how it works…

Lexxa: DIE, DEMON! –keeps hitting Ichigo with Hell stone-

Ichigo: OW!

Lexxa: Remember to review!

_Ichigo: Why did you hit me so many times?_

_Lexxa: You doubted the power of my Hell stone._

_Ichigo: What?_

_Lexxa: Did you experience hell?_

_Ichigo: Well, yeah…_

_Lexxa: HELL STONE!_


	94. Haunted Houses and Fat Camp

Lexxa: Welcome back to Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: When you think about it, that's a really long title…

Lexxa: Your mom's a really long title.

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: What?

Ichigo: …Okay then…

Lexxa: Our reviewer is Cometflare!

**Hello again hi Luna! Did you have fun so cute my little angel. *Huggles Kitty that mews acutely***

Edward: DEMON CAT!

Alphonse: I thought that it was alright…

Lexxa: But that's because all cats love you. Demon or otherwise.

Edward: DEMON!

**NEW DARE! Since I cant really think of anything, and its like 1am. PRIDE FROM BROTHERHOOD, YOU SHALL OPEN A HAUNTED HOUSE. And earn lots of money, then do whatever you want with the Ppl. Id like it in cash when it all falls over and no one comes to it anymore. You can use Luna to help. *Hands over Luna again* **

**Luna:T3T**

**Don't worry, Pride is adorable so no attacking. But you misplaced one hair on my cat pride your going to wish you were anything BUT a homunculus T_T living forever all the more pain and torture whatever else I can put on you.**

Pride: Haunted house? Did I hear that I can make a _haunted house_?

Lexxa: …Yeah…

Pride: THIS IS FRICKEN SWEET! –goes crazy planning haunted house-

Lexxa: I think that he enjoys that assignment…

Ichigo: Yeah…Should we be scared?

Lexxa: Probably.

**Anne GLUTTONY. I SENTENCE YOU TO FAT CAMP.**

Gluttony: I have a medical condition…

Lexxa: And you need to go to fat camp for it.

**Sure Al…lets go with that. Totally a typo…not like these papers I ..Erm-found mean anything…*stomps on what suspiciously looks like birth records* **

Alphonse: WHAT?

**_hey did you know you were in the holocaust? :D fun fact. Rofl I saw your name and I was like :0 I knew it.**

Alphonse: WHAT?

Lexxa: The holocaust.

Alphonse: Why would I be in the holocaust?

Lexxa: Because you were.

**Besides that- Edo. *Tackles* your adorable xD and wiped the floor beaten by my cat. That's blackmail that'll follow you for the rest of your life.;) puddles you**

Edward: Puddles?

Lexxa: It means she loves you, just in a cutesy term.

Edward: Oh…

Winry: You're hopeless.

**Envy I love you too. XD your amazing. My other friend is scared of you, I don't see why. Your evilness is fun**

Envy: Your other friend is right to be scared.

Lexxa: No. No she is not.

Envy: Bu-

Lexxa: She is not.

Ichigo: That was all there was.

Lexxa: Remember to review!

Pride: AND COME TO MY HAUNTED HOUSE!

Lexxa: And go to Pride's haunted house.

_Pride: MY HAUNTED HOUSE IS AMAZING!_

_Lexxa: What's it got?_

_Pride: REAL ZOMBIES!_

_Lexxa: I can take them._

_Ichigo: Really?_

_Lexxa: Really._


	95. Make Fun of Mexicans Day and Wrenches

**To all of you who speak Spanish, I apologize for my atrocious Spanish spelling in this chapter. As you can obviously tell, I cannot speak Spanish.**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome back Sushi Hawkeye!

Lexxa: Do you have interesting things? I think that you have some interesting things.

**Envy! Gay or homosexual? XD y u looking at Ed and Ichigo like that?**

Envy: I'M NOT GAY! …I'm bisexual…

Lexxa: That line seems familiar…I think I've written it before…

**Everyone watch nullmetal alchemist episode 5 and those who are in that episode have to reenact their favorite lines!**

Lexxa: NULLMETAL ALCHEMIST FOREVER!

Ichigo: Into the Viewing Room!

Everyone: -goes into Viewing Room- -watches Nullmetal Alchemist episode five- -comes out of viewing room-

Lexxa: First up is Hughes!

Hughes: I have to have help with Roy.

Lexxa: Okay!

Hughes: -whispers in Roy's ear-

Roy: Hughes, are you wearing your sombrero?

Hughes: No, but speaking of apparel, guess who wore a French maid's outfit last night!

Roy: Hughes-

Hughes: I felt so sexy.

Lexxa: Yay! Next up, Roy.

Roy: IT'S NATIONAL MAKE FUN OF MEXICAN'S DAY!

Lexxa: That was my favorite line, too. Edward?

Edward: I need Al's help. –whispers to Alphonse- And a girl to act as an extra.

Lexxa: I'll be the extra, since I'm the only chick in here that isn't from Fullmetal Alchemist…

Ichigo: STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!

Lexxa: Sorry…

Edward: -whispers to Lexxa-

Lexxa: -nod-

Edward: Do you know what I hate about trains?

Alphonse: No idea.

Edward: Well just for your sake I'll explain.

Alphonse: Hooray.

Edward: Basically it's like shitting out a hedgehog.

Alphonse: Yeah-uh sorry, _what?_

Edward: Sure it's worth the effort, but you end up with a sore ass.

Alphonse: Um…

Edward: And it's like, how did it even get up there-what? Is it that girl again?

Alphonse: Yeah…

Edward: Bloody kids.

Lexxa: Mary, dear, you know what happens to ladies who stare too much, don't you?

Edward: Yeah, in my experience they explode so keep-Huh? There's a bunch of shady looking blokes over there…

Lexxa: And that's the end. Roy, your turn!

Roy: I need Ichigo as an extra!

Ichigo: Yay.

Roy: -whispers to Ichigo-

Roy: -fakes phone with hand- Buenos dias and a happy Make Fun of Mexicans Day to you!

Ichigo: -in very fake Mexican Accent- Mustang.

Roy: Calvo.

Ichigo: It's been a while, hombre. How have you been?

Roy: Oh, you know. Holding up. Became the Lieutenant Colonel. How about you?

Ichigo: Well after the military discharged me for stinking up against a certain holiday, I decided to head up my own revolution.

Roy: You Mexicans always were firey. Like chipato.

Ichigo: IT'S CHIPOTLE, BENDEHO! Listen Mustang, we have this train held hostage. General Hawkeyro and his family are at our mercy. You should already know what our demands are.

Roy: Tacos?

Ichigo: NO!

Roy: A mariachi band?

Ichigo: YOU'RE NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY!

Roy: I have an official sombrero. Do you want a sombrero?

Ichigo: MUSTANG! WE WANT THE FUHRER TO STOP ENFORCING THE MOCKERY OF OUR PEOPLE!

Roy: I don't follow.

Lexxa: Good job! Al, your turn!

Alphonse: Okay, I need Ed and Ichigo to be the Mexican guy again.

Ichigo: WHY AM I THE MEXICAN?

Lexxa: Is there something wrong with being Mexican?

Ichigo: No…

Lexxa: Then shut up.

Alphonse: -whispers to Edward and Ichigo-

Edward: HEY CYCLOPS! LISTEN FOR A SEC!

Ichigo: Eh? What is it now?

Edward: I CAN SPARE A BURRITO IF YOU WANT IT!

Ichigo: What? A burrito? For real?

Alphonse: Better yet, I've got your burrito right here.

Lexxa: And the other two main characters weren't really main characters in here, therefore their lines weren't funny enough. So, I'm just going to end this dare right here. I hope you don't mind.

**Roy and Ed, do the first part, where Roy tells Ed about 'National Make Fun of Mexicans Day' and then tells him in a scary voice to get on the train.**

Roy: Lieutenant Colonel Mustang, yes?

Edward: Oh I'm Edward Elric and I-

Roy: Edward, good to hear from you.

Edward: Uhm, right you too, I was just wondering about the exam-

Roy: Oh, don't worry about that. Edward, let me ask you something. Do you know what day it is today?

Edward: What, Monday?

Roy: EDWARD I'M ASHAMED! You really don't know it's national Make Fun of Mexicans day! It's an annual holiday even though I'm working-

Edward: Sorry, Mexicans?

Roy: Look, just go get a piñata or a burrito or something. If you're going to be a State Alchemist you need to know these things.

Edward: That's all well and good but I just want to remind you that I'm going to be arriving at Central in about-

Roy: Are you on the train right now?

Edward: Well no, but-

Roy: -in scary voice- THEN GET ON THE TRAIN!

Edward: Ah! What the fuck?

Lexxa: Good job.

***throws a wrench at Winry's head***

**found it at the market, I figured you'd like another wrench to throw at a certain short pipsqueak midget blond cyborg prodigy alchemist. **

Lexxa: Wow, she got descriptive.

Winry: -throws new wrench at Edward's head- It works.

Lexxa: That's all for this chapter, so remember to review!

_Ichigo: That whole thing was basically centered around Nullmetal Alchemist._

_Lexxa: Yeah. It's my fault, I guess. I was the one who ran around this fanfic quoting it._

_Ichigo: How dare you._

_Ed: And why would they make fun of Mexicans?_

_Lexxa: Because they did. And it wasn't personal, if you read the description you would know that it was all in fun._

_Al: Okay then…_

_Ichigo: AND I WAS THE DAMN MEXICAN!_


	96. Marajuana and Molten Cheese

**I would like to stress that no matter what I say in this fanfic, I DO NOT SMOKE WEED! I know that I imply it, but that's only for a joke. I DO NOT WANT TO BE FINED FOR SUGGESTING THAT I DO DRUGS! I swear that I have never even been in the same room as marijuana. I will take a drug test if I need to. **

**AND DO NOT ABUSE DRUGS! I must stress that as well. I promise you that the only reason why any of this drug stuff is happening in here is because it was a dare. It's not cool to abuse drugs. Only use them if you need them.**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Please welcome a new reviewer, XxQueenAeroxX.

Lexxa: WELCOME, XXQUEENAEROXX!

**Put the fullmetal alchemist crew in a room filled withed marijuana**

Lexxa: EVERYONE, INTO THE MARIJUANA ROOM!

Ichigo: Why do we have a room dedicated to marijuana?

Lexxa: No reason…

Ichigo: Wha-

Lexxa: INTO THE MARIJUANA ROOM!

Everyone: -goes into Marijuana Room-

Edward: Every-everything is just-just great.

Winry: He-hey guess what?

Edward: What?

Winry: I-I forgot. Isn't that funny?

Edward: -looks serious- -starts to smile- -starts chuckling- That's funny. –laughs uncontrollably-

Everyone: -looks serious- -starts laughing- -can't stop laughing-

**The two Greeds have to sing "Enchanted" by Taylor Swif and the homunculus have to eat molten cheese and hold in there mouth for 30 seconds-**

Greeling: Are-are you ready for this, bro?

Greed: Ye-yeah, I am.

Greeling and Greed: There I was again tonight forcing laughter, faking smiles. Same old tired lonely face. –sing rest of song-

Lexxa: O-okay, time…time for the, uhm…cheese…whatever thing.

Homunculi: -hold molten cheese-

Lexxa: O-okay…a-and…go.

Homunculi: -put molten cheese in mouth-

-a minute later-

Lexxa: Aw, man, I forgot to count…

Homunculi: -spit out molten cheese-

Lexxa: S-sorry, guys…

Ichigo: I think that's all…

Lexxa: Yeah…uhm…remember to, uhm, review…and stuff…

_Lexxa: Oh my God, I am so messed up on drugs._

_Ichigo: I think we all were._

_Lexxa: Do you think that the police will find us?_

_Ichigo: Nah, it's not like we're chatting on a public chat box. Wait a second…_

_Ed: YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!_

_Lexxa: THEY'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!_


	97. Moyashi and Wolves

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: After you're done writing this chapter, you get to spend a long time uploading all of the chapters you held!

Lexxa: But I'll finally be caught up!

Ichigo: Well then get started!

Lexxa: These dares are from Death-Wolf-101.

**For Ed, he hast to be called 'Moyashi' (Bean Sprout) for the next twenty chapters.**

Lexxa: No guarantee that I'm going to remember that.

Edward: I'M NOT MOYASHI!

Lexxa: Yes you are, Moyashi. Death-Wolf-101 deemed you that.

Edward: …Shut up…

**For Truth, it has to give Ed his arm AND his leg back if he hasn't already.**

Edward: I have my arm…

Truth: Take your damn leg, Moyashi.

Edward: I'M NOT MOYASHI!

Winry: I'M GOING TO LOSE MY BEST CUSTOMER!

Edward: -leg turns real-

Winry: Wait…what the hell happened to the automail?

Lexxa: Does that mean that Truth has the automail now?

Ichigo: I don't know…

Lexxa: I never understood that in the series. I mean, of course Moyashi-

Edward: HEY!

Lexxa: -got his arm back, but what happened to his automail?

Ichigo: Nobody knows…

**And finally, for Roy, I dubble doctor dillieo dare him to kill ALL of his chikens, then live with a pack of wolves for two weeks.**

Roy: NOT MY CAMILLA!

Lexxa: Maybe when he comes back he'll have a new fetish.

Ichigo: Maybe.

Lexxa: Kill your chickens.

Roy: BUT I LOVE THEM!

Lexxa: Kill them before I torture them.

Roy: Bu-

Lexxa: And you should know how I torture by now.

Ichigo: It would be more merciful to kill them.

Roy: … -snaps fingers-

All the chickens: -combust-

Roy: -falls to the ground- -cries-

Lexxa: THROW HIM IN THE ROOM OF WOLVES!

Ichigo: -throws Roy in Room of Wolves-

Lexxa: So, yeah. Review!

Ichigo: And the next person to review might decided Roy's new fetish.

Lexxa: Because I will make it magically two weeks later in the next chapter.

_Ichigo: I kinda feel bad for Roy._

_Lexxa: Yeah._

_Ichigo: But it had to be done. That man's chicken fetish was just plain creepy._

_Lexxa: Yeah…and I'm getting excited._

_Ichigo: Why?_

_Lexxa: I'M ALMOST TO MY HUNDRETH CHAPTER!_

_Ichigo: Ohhh…_

_Lexxa: I MUST THINK OF SOMETHING SPECIAL TO DO!_

_Ichigo: Of course you must…_

_Lexxa: Hm. I never get this excited over anything in real life…I think there's something wrong with me…_

_Ichigo: No, you're just a creature of the internet._

_Lexxa: That I am._


	98. Bedazzling and Rainbow Truth

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Great, it's only been a few months since you've talked to us.

Lexxa: But my story got taken down…

Ichigo: So?

Lexxa: …FORGIVE ME!

Edward: I don't know…

Lexxa: FORGIVE ME! –clings to Edward-

Edward: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! GET OFF!

Lexxa: -gets off- I win. Oh, by the way my friend animelover102 wants you to go on a date with her.

Edward: But I'm dating Winry…

Lexxa: DON'T DISAPPOINT MY LADY FRIEND!

Winry: But he's going out with me!

Lexxa: -death stare-

Winry: Uh…Ed? Yeah…I think that we should take a break…

Lexxa: Good choice! So, let's move on with the show!

Ichigo: So are you telling me that you've kept the reviews from before it was taken down?

Lexxa: Why yes. Yes I have.

Ichigo: Seriously?

Lexxa: Yeah. But parts of this review was lost since it was taken down. BUT I SHALL DO WHAT I CAN! So, welcome petaltailify97! You get to be the first review in months!

**Ed: Take off your red coat and lend it to Garfiel for a week. He can do whatever he wants to it or style it however he wants *coughBedazzleItcough*. In the meantime you have to wear a purple pimp jacket in place of it, get a gold tooth and carry around a cane. And you have to act the part of a pimp too! After the week is over you have to wear your jacket the way he left it.**

Edward: HELL NO!

Lexxa: HELL YES!

Edward: DON'T TAKE MY BABY!

Lexxa: It's your baby?

Edward: THE GOVERNMENT TOOK MY BABY!

Lexxa: I'm sure that nobody will get that reference, Ed. Now just hand over the coat…

Edward: NO!

Lexxa: That's it. I see that I've gotten soft since I've been gone. THIS MUST CHANGE! OH MARY-SUE!

Mary-Sue: -comes out of closet-

Roy: -sniggers- Sh-she came out of the closet! –sniggers again-

Lexxa: Let me guess…Roy's become a raging alcoholic while I was gone, hasn't he?

Ichigo: Yeah…

Lexxa: And he's drunk now?

Ichigo: Yeah…

Lexxa: -steals Roy's Vodka- NO MORE ALCOHOL FOR YOU, MISSY!

Alphonse: You mean mister?

Lexxa: Yeah…That's what I said, right?

Ichigo: No…

Lexxa: Whatever. Mary-Sue, you get the jacket from Ed. I'll handle getting Roy away from the rum cabinets.

Mary-Sue: Okay! Oh Edward!

Edward: Shit.

Mary-Sue: Can I borrow your jacket?

Edward: SOD OFF!

Mary-Sue: Well. I tried being nice about it. –goes full demon mode- GIVE ME THE JACKET NOW!

Edward: HOLY CRAP! JUST TAKE IT! –throws jacket at Mary-Sue-

Lexxa: ROY! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THAT CABINET!

Roy: YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!

Lexxa: RIZA! I COULD USE YOUR SHOOTING SKILLS ABOUT NOW!

Riza: -shoots near Roy- Down boy.

Lexxa: Thanks!

Mary-Sue: -hands Lexxa jacket- I got it!

Lexxa: Good girl. NOW BACK TO YOUR CLOSET!

Mary-Sue: No! I don't wanna!

Lexxa: I HAVE DOMINION OVER YOU, FOUL BEAST!

Mary-Sue: No you don't.

Ichigo: Yeah, this place kinda went to hell.

Lexxa: I've noticed. Well, if the Mary-Sue won't go back into her closet willingly, I'm just going to have to force her in. Ichigo? Can I use Zangetsu for a while?

Ichigo: No! The last time you did that all he would talk to me about was how you were a better master!

Lexxa: I can get this place back to normal! Or, at least, what it was before.

Ichigo: …Fine. I guess… -hands over Zangetsu-

Lexxa: Mary-Sue, this is your last chance. Get in the closet.

Mary-Sue: No.

Lexxa: GETSUGA TENSHOU!

Zangetsu: -does Getsuga Tenshou-

Mary-Sue: -runs into closet for cover-

Lexxa: Now, Roy, get away from the booze.

Roy: -runs away from alcohol like it was poison-

Lexxa: That's how I like it. Now, Garfiel, bedazzle it!

Garfiel: Okay! –takes jacket into Bedazzling Room-

Lexxa: And Ed, here. –hands Edward purple pimp jacket- Wear this. And act like a pimp.

Edward: But I don't know how to act like a pimp.

Lexxa: BRING OUT YOUR INNER PIMP, MAN! BRING OUT YOUR INNER PIMP!

Edward: Okay! Sheesh, I'll work on it.

Lexxa: Good. Moving on!

**Truth: You're so plain looking. Color yourself rainbow and borrow some of Armstrong's sparkles!**

Truth: I am Truth, God, and All! You cannot tell me what to do!

Lexxa: She may not be able to, but I can. –holds Zangetsu menacingly- Remember your place, Truth.

Truth: You don't scare me.

Lexxa: Zangetsu! Can you manifest for me?

Zangetsu: -turns into a guy with long hair, sunglasses, and long coat- Yeah.

Lexxa: Show Truth his place?

Zangetsu: -beats up Truth-

Lexxa: That's good.

Truth: WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

Lexxa: You got your ass whupped. –tosses Truth paint- Become a rainbow. Armstrong!

Armstrong: -looks up from his flexing in the corner-

Lexxa: I need some of your sparkles.

Armstrong: OKAY, LEXXA! –takes a few sparkles from the air-

Lexxa: Thanks. –sticks sparkles on Truth-

Truth: I have died a little inside. My insides are now dead.

Lexxa: Just how I like it!

**Izumi and Olivier: Skip around locking your arms together singing the song Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows! And Truth has to dance along with you guys to accompany his new look.**

Olivier: You have got to be kidding me.

Edward: AS YOUR FATHER I COMMAND YOU TO DO THE DARE!

Olivier: FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU ARE NOT MY FATHER!

Armstrong: HOW DARE YOU TALK TO DADDY LIKE THAT!

Izumi: I want to sing it. –starts singing it-

Lexxa: And…OLIVIER JOINS IN!

Olivier: Fine. –joins in-

Lexxa: Oh Truth!

Truth: -starts dancing-

**Al: Because you're so sweet and awesome,you earns an all-paid-for trip to Kitty Wonderland!**

Lexxa: -pulls microphone from nowhere- So, Al, now that you've won this trip, what are you going to do now?

Alphonse: I'M GOING TO GO TO KITTY WONDERLAND!

Lexxa: YAY!

Ichigo: I think that it's safe to say that you've totally regained control over this situation.

**Roy and Hawkeye: Dress up in kitty mascot costumes and hug Al when he gets to Kitty Wonderland. **

Roy: I'M NOTHING WITHOUT MY VODKA!

Lexxa: Well get over it. You will not be constantly drunk on my watch! You can only be drunk part of the time.

Ichigo: Great message for the kids.

Lexxa: -shrugs- Now, Roy and Riza, INTO THE ROOM OF CHANGING!

Roy and Riza: -go into Room of Changing- -come out in kitty costumes-

Lexxa: GO TO KITTY WONDERLAND!

Riza: Where's that?

Lexxa: …Does anyone know where Kitty Wonderland is?

Ichigo: Isn't it down the street?

Lexxa: Oh, yeah! Now go.

Riza and Roy: -leave-

Lexxa: Al! You ready for your trip?

Alphonse: Yeah!

Lexxa: Then off you go!

Alphonse: -leaves-

Lexxa: So that's all for this chapter!

Ichigo: Don't forget to review!

Lexxa: It makes me really happy!

_Ed: How long do I need to be a pimp?_

_Lexxa: Until Garfiel is done with your coat._

_Ed: And how long is that going to be?_

_Lexxa: I'm sure that you'll have it by the next chapter._

_Ed: That timing is convenient. TOO CONVENIENT!_

_Lexxa: Uh…sure…_


	99. Harry Potter and Comfort Foods

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Last time Lexxa had to regain control over the situation because she abandoned us for a few months.

Everyone: -pointed glare at Lexxa-

Lexxa: Well I'm back! And I'm going to do ChibiNeko313's dares now!

**Roy's new fetish: NEKO MIMIS**

Lexxa: Neko mimis?

Roy: What're those?

Lexxa: Your new fetish, apparently!

Roy: Um…no thanks.

Lexxa: Aw, come on!

Roy: No!

Lexxa: Roy…

Roy: …Fine.

Lexxa: Good boy!

**Ed: That was a wonderful Grell cosplay, dearest. Now… You are Len Kagamine. Transformations sequence, GO!**

Edward: -transforms into Len Kagamine-

Lexxa: You are now Len Kagamine. What are you going to do next?

Edward: …I don't know…

Lexxa: Well then.

**Riza: Here, have a bottle of Firewhiskey I brought from the Harry Potter books. I'm an author too, do I can magic stuff like that. Drink it all in under 3 minutes.**

Lexxa: Do I can? Do you mean I can do?

Riza: Yeah…okay. I think that I'll drink it. –drinks Firewhiskey-

Lexxa: Well?

Riza: …I don't feel any different.

Lexxa: …It might take a while.

**Ichigo: Here, have a package of one of my favorite comfort foods. *hands package of Black Forest brand sour gummy worms* I like them because they seem sweet, but in reality are sour and unforgiving, just like who-or-what ever made comfort food necessary.**

Ichigo: Um…thanks?

Lexxa: Lucky! All I have are Takis…

**Lexxa: Here, you get a package of special-edition Pocky that you can only buy at anime conventions **

Lexxa: YEAH!

Ichigo: Now you have Takis and Pocky.

Lexxa: Neither of which is a word in my computer's dictionary!

Ichigo: …Was that really necessary?

Lexxa: I like to break the fourth wall a lot.

Ichigo: Of course you do.

…**When I read last chapter, I was like "Wait…A NEW NULLMETAL ALCHEMIST? WHAA? –dashes off to read NMA 5- …-puts on sombrero-"**

Lexxa: EMBRACE THE MEXICAN SIDE OF THE FORCE!

Ichigo: There's a Mexican side?

Lexxa: And a German side, Irish side, Japanese side, Whatever Nationality You Want side. Basically there's a bunch of sides. I personally belong to a bunch of them.

Ichigo: Really?

Lexxa: Nah, I'm just making this stuff up as I go along.

Ichigo: I am not surprised at all about that.

**Scar: I'm sorry, but I just thoroughly enjoy forcing you to be Pikachu. Um, you can be Ash today if you want…?**

Scar: I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYONE FROM POKÉMON!

Lexxa: Yes you do. Pokémon is awesome.

Ichigo: Since when did you feel that way?

Lexxa: Since I actually sat down and started to watch it.

Ichigo: Okay then.

Lexxa: SO, SCAR, YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE BEST DAMN ASH THAT YOU CAN BE!

Scar: I don't have a choice, do I?

Lexxa: No. No you do not.

Scar: -grumbles- -goes into Room of Changing- -comes out dressed like Ash Ketchum-

Lexxa: Aw! You're such a cute Ash!

Scar: Shut up.

**Al: EL is my friend. EL is her nickname and her name in my darefic, it stands for 'EmoLover'. How was your date?**

Al: Fine…but if it stands for EmoLover, does that mean that I'm emo?

Lexxa: Yes it does.

Al: I'M NOT EMO!

Lexxa: DON'T DENY IT! THE FIRST STEP TO SOLVING A PROBLEM IS ADMITTING THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!

Al: But I'm not emo…

Lexxa: I know that.

Al: Then why did you say that I was?

Lexxa: I never said that.

Al: Yes you did…

Lexxa: Nope. I don't remember that.

Ichigo: Are you high or something?

Lexxa: Nah, I'm just hyper.

Ichigo: Okay then…

**Havoc: Okay, so her name is Rogue, known on this site as rogue-ninja24.7. GO GETTER, TIGER! (please do not turn into a tiger… She'll probably punch you into next Monday…)**

Havoc: Okay, so Rogue, no tiger, punch into next Monday. Is that all?

Lexxa: Yup.

Havoc: I'M COMING TO FIND YOU!

Lexxa: BYE BYE!

**Um… That's all, I guess… Bye-ni! *throws confetti into air, vanishes in cloud of purple smoke***

**MAGIC JUST GOT REAL BIATCH!**

Lexxa: YEAH!

Ichigo: So remember to review with your dares.

Lexxa: AND DON'T FORGET THAT I LIKE TURTLES!

Ichigo: You've never said that you liked turtles.

Lexxa: I did now. NEVER FORGET IT!

Ichigo: You're terrifying when you're hyper.

Lexxa: Yeah, I am.

_Scar: Why am I still dressed as Ash?_

_Lexxa: Because I said so._

_Scar: I don't want to be Ash anymore!_

_Lexxa: Would you rather be Pikachu?_

_Scar: …No…_

_Lexxa: Then you're going to stay Ash._


	100. SPECIAL CHAPTER! YAY!

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: However, in this chapter there won't be much daring going on.

Edward: FINALLY! A BREAK!

Lexxa: Yeah, well, it's the hundredth chapter so I thought that I would do something special. And this something special is –pause- NO DARES!

Edward: That's it?

Lexxa: And endless ice cream, candy, popcorn, pizza, and Icees.

Roy: And booze?

Lexxa: NO BOOZE!

Roy: Aw…

Lexxa: Okay, so this chapter is basically just going to be a free-for-all. And…BEGIN!

Everyone: -stands there-

Lexxa: What? You're not going to begin?

Alphonse: What are we supposed to start?

Lexxa: THE PARTY!

Riza: Oh, I don't know…

Lexxa: Fine. Want to watch your own show then?

Roy: No…

Lexxa: Then party.

Everyone: -starts to party-

Lexxa: I'll just be in the Viewing Room… -inches towards Viewing Room-

Ichigo: What're you gonna be watching?

Lexxa: …Not the US version of Whose Line is it Anyway… -shifty eyes-

Ichigo: Hasn't that been off the air for years?

Lexxa: THEY'RE COMEDY GODS! –runs into Viewing Room-

Ichigo: That was weird…

Roy: I FOUND THE BOOZE!

Edward: PUT DOWN THE BOOZE!

Roy: COME ON, TRY SOME!

Edward: NO!

Roy: You know you wanna!

Alphonse: Is he drunk already?

Roy: …No… -shifty eyes-

Ichigo: TOO MANY SHIFTY EYES AT THIS PARTY!

Armstrong: THERE CAN NEVER BE TOO MANY SHIFTY EYES! SHIFTY EYES HAVE BEEN PASSED DOWN MY FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS! –shifty eyes-

Ichigo: …I'm not sure what to believe anymore.

Roy: BELIEVE IN THE BOOZE!

Lexxa: -from inside Viewing Room- NO BOOZE!

Roy: HOW CAN SHE HEAR ME?

Ichigo: YOU'RE YELLING!

Roy: I AM?

Lexxa: -from inside Viewing Room- YOU ARE!

Roy: Okay…

Ichigo: Give me the booze…

Roy: NOT THE PRECIOUS!

Edward: Yes, the precious.

Roy: MY PRECIOUS!

Ichigo: Gimme! –takes booze-

Roy: DON'T SEPARATE US! YOU CAN'T KILL OUR LOVE!

Edward: Dear Gate…

Ichigo: -throws booze out window-

Roy: I'M COMING FOR YOU, MY LOVE! –jumps out window after it-

Riza: I'll get him. –cocks gun-

Lexxa: -comes out of room- MEOW! –runs back into room-

Alphonse: What?

Ichigo: THIS WHOLE PLACE HAS GONE TO HELL!

Edward: What did you expect?

Hughes: COOKIES! I EXPECTED THERE TO BE COOKIES!

Ichigo: I'm sorry, Lexxa ate all of the cookies.

Hughes: -falls to knees- WHY?

Lexxa: -from inside Viewing Room- BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT!

Hughes: WHY?

Ichigo: Don't question her…it'll save everyone's innocence…

Kimblee: Since when were we innocent?

Ichigo: …The readers might be innocent?

Edward: They've ventured into fanfiction. They're everything but innocent at this point.

Roy: -runs into room- I'VE GOT MY BABY BACK!

Ichigo: NO! Wait…is that a bunny rabbit?

Roy: -covers the rabbit's ears- HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!

Ichigo: What did I say?

Roy: YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU NEVER TELL A TURTLE THAT THEY LOOK LIKE A RABBIT!

Ichigo: Turtle?

Edward: Yeah, drunk Roy doesn't make any sense.

Roy: YOUR MOM DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

Edward: My mom's dead.

Roy: Oh…I hope that you two are very happy together.

Ichigo: Okay, I think that this party should end before things get out of hand—

-police sirens-

Lexxa: -runs out of room- DAMMIT, THEY FOUND ME!

Ichigo: Again?

Police: -bang on door- POLICE! OPEN UP!

Lexxa: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!

Police: -break down door- FREEZE!

Roy: THEY'VE COME FOR MY TURTLE!

Ichigo: IT'S A RABBIT!

Roy: YOU'RE A RABBIT!

Lexxa: -runs away-

Police: FOLLOW HER! –follows Lexxa-

Ichigo: Okay, so that's it for this chapter…remember to review.

_Roy: My turtle's name is Dana. And she has been lost._

_Ichigo: First off, it was a rabbit. Second off, it probably ran away from you._

_Edward: Where'd Riza go, anyway?_

_Roy: Was that the lady that tried to take Dana away from me?_

_Ichigo: Probably._

_Roy: Oh. I knocked her out._

_Ichigo: YOU DID WHAT?_

_Roy: SHE TRIED TO TAKE AWAY MY BABY!_

_Ichigo: GOD DAMMIT!_


	101. Chimeras and OCs

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: You evaded the police?

Lexxa: Yep!

Ichigo: How?

Lexxa: …It certainly didn't involve a few hundred wolves…-shifty eyes-

Ichigo: Um…okay…well today's reviewer is Death-Wolf-101!

Lexxa: Let's hurry into his dares!

**Lexxa, have Moyashi (XD THANK YOU FOR THE IDEA KANDA FROM D. GREY-MAN!) meet Allen from D. Grey-Man, I wanna see which one is taller. And if Ed is shorter which he probably is, have my preshous Loona perswade him to shut up and get over it.**

Allen: How'd I get here?

Lexxa: THE PINK FAIRIES OF NARNIA GOT THE MAGICAL PURPLE UNICORN WHICH SUMMONED YOU!

Ichigo: Now you're just speaking gibberish.

Lexxa: I LOVE GIBBERISH!

Edward: DAMMIT! I'M SHORTER!

Loona: -evil glare-

Edward: Heh heh…I mean…good job, Allen…you're taller…congratulations…

Lexxa: Good boy!

**I dare Tucker to make me into a wolf how –ever you spell it- chemara! LONG LIVE WOLVES! WOLVES ARE AWESOME!**

Tucker: I HAVE ANOTHER SPECIMEN!

Lexxa: I swear you're a mad scientist.

Tucker: -runs around room cackling like a mad man-

Ichigo: Yep. We've lost him.

**Al, kittens are you seccond fav (after wolves of cuorse) animals! Loona and Soulairah Resembal(SP?) cats, so you get to hang out with my OC's from The Sun and the Moon! Bean will be there to supervise!**

Al: Yay! –runs into OC Room-

Ichigo: When did we get an OC Room?

Lexxa: When did we get a Your Face Room?

Ichigo: Was that supposed to be an insult?

Lexxa: I don't even know anymore.

Roy: I WANNA MEET THEM, TOO!

**Roy! NO! STAY AWAY FROM MY OC'S! MINE!**

Lexxa: SERIOUSLY! HOW DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW THIS?

Ichigo: Maybe they have special powers, as well?

Lexxa: Maybe…I've got my eye on you…

Ichigo: So remember to review!

Lexxa: FOREVER!

_Roy: I JUST WANTED TO MEET THE OCS!_

_Lexxa: Well, it's not your choice. It's Death Wolf's._

_Roy: BUT I WANTED TO MEET THEM!_

_Lexxa: MAN UP!_

_Roy: What?_

_Ichigo: You've got her started now._

_Lexxa: MAN UP, YOU WIMP!_

_Ichigo: I don't even think she's making references anymore._

_Lexxa: TOUCH MY MONKEY!_

_Ichigo: Okay, yeah she's back._


	102. White Beauty and School

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome back, NewfieSandy!

**I want you to meet White-Beauty! *shows white duck with black spots. Then places duck on her head) Ducks are SO much better then chickens Roy.**

Roy: NO.

Lexxa: Drama Queen.

**Dare 1-Ed: Go on a date with me!**

Edward: Um…okay…

Lexxa: And for you people thinking, "But last chapter he said that he was dating Anime!" chill. We have an arrangement.

**Dare 2-Roy: Admit that ducks are better then chickens and join my duck fan club!**

Roy: Ducks are better than chickens.

Lexxa: Yeah! Now you're part of a fanclub!

Roy: YEAH!

**Dare 3-Hawkeye: Let Roy kiss you and say "I love you!" to him with a passion!**

Lexxa: And Royai fans everywhere are pleased.

Roy: BUT SHE'S NOT A DUCK!

Lexxa: Okay, so maybe they're not pleased…

Riza: Thanks for noticing.

Lexxa: Roy, you have to kiss her, even if she's not a duck.

Roy: BUT I WANT A DUCK!

Lexxa: I think that his fetish is ducks now. Sorry, Chibi. I guess that we can't choose for him…

Ichigo: What's with him and birds?

Roy: BIRDS ARE AWESOME!

Lexxa: Well, Riza's last name is Hawkeye, and part of that name is hawk. Hawk is a bird so…

Roy: What? You want me to make out with a hawk? That's sick!

Lexxa: -shoves Roy's face onto Riza's (doesn't that sound attractive?)-

Ichigo: And Riza, don't forget the other part of the dare…

Riza: I love you.

Lexxa: -releases Roy's head- And that's how it's done.

Roy: RAPE!

Lexxa: It wasn't rape. It was making you do the dare. Which is far worse than rape.

Ichigo: It is?

Lexxa: It is.

**Dare 4-Al: Become part of my school (in my school we get candy, chocolate and prizes)!**

Alphonse: CANDY!

Lexxa: Yes, you have discovered Al's love for candy.

**Dare 5-Everyone: Chose to become either a Resimbool ranger or part of Roy's Miniskirt Army!**

Lexxa: CHOOSE YOUR SIDE HERE! THIS LINE FOR RESEMBOOL RANGER, THIS LINE FOR MINISKIRT ARMY!

Everyone except Roy: -gets into Resembool Ranger line-

Roy: AW, COME ON!

Lexxa: Yeah, everyone prefers Ed to you.

Ichigo: Even Riza.

Roy: I THOUGHT THAT YOU LOVED ME!

Riza: All part of the dare, Sir.

Lexxa: And that's all for this chapter! Remember to review!

_Roy: I FEEL SO HATED!_

_Ichigo: As you should._

_Roy: BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND! EVEN THE DUCK WENT INTO RESEMBOOL'S SIDE!_

_Lexxa: Resembool is just awesome. You are not._

_Roy: But…_

_Lexxa: Face it. Ed is more awesome than you._


	103. Tucker Murdering and Fighting Refusal

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome back, Kitsune-chan'w.

Lexxa: I assume that you have some awesome dares?

**I refuse to except the challenge of fighting you MEI! honestly i dont havr the time or energy to waste! i need that to teach all thee wonders of losing his innoccents. with i conclude Al must kill you for good. also i take lexxa's ability to bring you back to life away forevers!**

Alphonse: But…

Lexxa: Don't worry. I have a loophole. So, Al, just kill Mei…

Alphonse: But I don't want to…

Lexxa: -holds up spider- But this is Mei.

Alphonse: AH! –kills spider-

Lexxa: And he has killed Mei.

Ichigo: And Lexxa can never revive that spider.

Lexxa: What a shame.

**next Al it is time to lose your innocence. so come hither! dont worry im not ugly i have kitty ears and a tail! so im like a perfect kitty chimera who looooooves to be petted! ("perverted grin")**

Alphonse: Um…

Lexxa: Just pet her. That's all you have to do.

Alphonse: Okay… -pets Kitsune-chan'w- -walks away-

Lexxa: Good!

**I cant believe you chose to neuter your brother! you had to like touch him in order to do that u know! r u sure you dont like elricest?**

Alphonse: Of course I don't like Elricest! But what did you want me to do, kill my brother?

**TUCKER! (Runs into studio, brutely murders tucker. runs out)**

Lexxa: Somebody had to do it.

**Eddo! Al said he wants you to join us on our future journey of losing innocence! lol Soooooo wanna join us!**

Alphonse: I don't even want to go on that journey!

Edward: No…No I do not want to join you…and I don't want Al to join you either…

Lexxa: Aw! Protective older brother!

Alphonse: Don't make me go, Brother!

Edward: Don't worry, I won't.

**Lexxa to use the stone you must say " Hell stone activate¡**

Lexxa: Okay! I'll keep that in mind!

**I shall be back to torment again! LEXxA you must update aily or shall Do something total evil that i cabt think of right now!**

Lexxa: Don't worry! I've already determined that I will! Okay, so that's all for this chapter. Remember to review!

_Ichigo: These chapters have been getting very short, haven't they?_

_Lexxa: Yeah, they have…_

_Ed: Next chapter you should make up for it._

_Lexxa: I'll try. I can't promise, but I shall try!_


	104. Bunny Suits and Nutella

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Every time that she types that intro she types a "1" instead of an "!".

Lexxa: Don't judge! So, anyway, Dragonlover71491 is back!

**So that's how it's going to be, ey? Fine then.**

**Lexxa, you either let the following dares go as follows, otherwise I find you  
and swallow you whole. Your choice.**

**1. Roy and Riza have to reverse roles, he's the lieutenant and she's the colonel.**

Lexxa: Okay. That's not so bad.

Riza: So I'm the colonel now?

Roy: HAHA! YOU HAVE TO DO MY PAPERWORK!

Riza: -shoots near Roy- No. As your superior I command you to do my paperwork.

Roy: How come that never worked for me?

Riza: You don't know how to use a gun.

Roy: -goes into emo corner- -does paperwork-

**2. Edward has to dress up like a big pink bunny and hop around saying "boing"  
with every hop.**

Edward: Okay, just give me the bunny suit.

Lexxa: You're okay with this?

Edward: I have accepted my fate.

Lexxa: -hands bunny suit-

Edward: -goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in bunny suit- BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING!

Lexxa: This is going to get annoying fast.

Edward: BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING!

Lexxa: Like I said…gonna get annoying fa-

Edward: BOING BOING BOING BOING BO-

Lexxa: STOP MOVING, DAMMIT!

Edward: -stands still-

Lexxa: Good.

**3. Lexxa, you have to tie up your least favorite character and beat them like a piñata.**

Lexxa: TUCKER! –beats up Tucker-

Tucker: EVERYBODY HATES ME!

**4. Winry and Ed, seven minutes in heaven.**

Lexxa: Oh, God, Ed's got to make that boing sound…

Edward: -hops to closet making boing sounds-

Winry: -goes into closet-

Lexxa: I hope you guys know that this is a foreign concept to them. They think that it's just staying in there.

Ichigo: Why would they think that?

Lexxa: No reason… -shifty eyes-

-seven minutes later-

Edward and Winry: -come out of closet-

Lexxa: I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD COME OUT OF THE CLOSET SOMEDAY!

Ichigo: -facepalms-

Lexxa: Okay, so that's all for this chapter.

Ichigo: Wait wait wait wait wait. Wait. …Wait. You said that this chapter would be longer!

Lexxa: Oh, yeah…

Ichigo: You weren't planning on letting us down, now were you?

Lexxa: Um…no… -shifty eyes-

Ichigo: This chapter must be at least five hundred words before you can announce the end!

Lexxa: Fine.

Edward: BOING BOING BOING BOING BOING!

Lexxa: I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN ONE PLACE!

Edward: IT'S HARD NOT TO MOVE!

Lexxa: JUST STOP MOVING!

Ichigo: Chill…become a turtle…

Lexxa: Hey, man…I'm just gonna eat some lettuce…

Edward: Boing…

Lexxa: THAT'S IT! –jumps at Ed-

Ichigo: -holds Lexxa back-

Alphonse: Lexxa! I have some Nutella for you!

Lexxa: Nutella! –noms on Nutella-

Ichigo: Is it really that easy?

Alphonse: Apparently…

Edward: …Bo-

Ichigo: Don't you dare say boing.

Lexxa: -evil glare-

Alphonse: Brother, just stay where you are.

Edward: But I have to pee…

Lexxa: I DON'T CARE!

Ichigo: That was mean…

Lexxa: Aha! Over five hundred words! Okay, so that's all for this chapter. Remember to review!

_Ichigo: I didn't know that Nutella calmed you down._

_Lexxa: Of course it does. It has magical properties._

_Ichigo: Like?_

_Lexxa: …Chocolate?_


	105. Al Hating and Mt Crazed Spike Place

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Welcome yet again, NewfieSandy!

**Al-I hate you so…**

Alphonse: What did I do?

Lexxa: You breathed.

Alphonse: What?

Lexxa: Come here, Ed, Ichigo and Havoc. We must go laugh at him and talk behind his back in this room.

Edward: What? No! He's my brother!

Ichigo: He's never done anything to me.

Havoc: He's a nice kid!

Lexxa: No he's not. Now come! –drags Edward, Ichigo, and Havoc into the Room of Secrecy-

Edward: What was that for?

Lexxa: That wasn't all. There's another part of the dare that you guys have to do!

**(Lexxxa don't tell Al any of this. Ed, Ichigo and Havoc: Take Al to Mt. Crazed Spike Place (don't be alarmed by the named, it's actually ice cream filled) and drop him off a cliff and bury him in ice cream.)**

Edward: Oh, I get it now.

Havoc: Okay, let's do this thing!

Lexxa, Ed, Ichigo, and Havoc: -come out of Room of Secrecy-

Lexxa: We're sorry.

Edward: -with enthusiasm- Here, let's all go on a field trip!

Roy: Can I come?

Edward: -with same enthusiasm- No!

Roy: Aw…

Edward: Come on, Havoc, Ichigo, and Al!

Alphonse: Brother? Are you okay?

Edward: Of course I am. Let's go!

Edward, Havoc, Ichigo, and Alphonse: -leave-

Riza: Was this part of the dare?

Lexxa: You know it. –grabs camera- Be right back. –follows-

Alphonse: Where are we going?

Edward: To a place.

Alphonse: What place?

Roy: A magical place.

Alphonse: Which is?

Ichigo: A place.

Alphonse: What's the name of the place?

Edward: Mt. Crazed Spike Place.

Alphonse: What? –stops walking-

Edward: GET HIM!

Roy and Havoc: -drag Alphonse with them-

Edward: That's right. We're taking you to Mt. Crazed Spike Place and we're going to push you off! Then we're going to bury you!

Alphonse: Why, Brother?

Edward: Trust me, it's all going to make sense.

Alphonse: But why?

Edward: YOU'LL SEE WHY!

Ichigo: There it is! –points in distance-

Edward: I don't think that Al should be seeing this.

Ichigo: -rips off piece of jacket- -ties it around Alphonse's eyes-

Edward, Ichigo, Roy, Havoc, and Alphonse: -go up mountain-

Edward: Okay, Al. –removes Al's blindfold- Time to push you off!

Alphonse: -looks at the ice cream- Okay!

Ichigo: -pushes Alphonse off-

Alphonse: Wee!

Roy: -runs down mountain- Time to bury you! –buries Alphonse in ice cream-

Alphonse: -digs his way out- That was fun!

Roy, Edward, Havoc, Ichigo, Lexxa, and Alphonse: -go back to studio-

**Scar- Make Al go boom!**

Alphonse: What?

Lexxa: Make Al go boom.

Scar: -makes Al go boom-

Lexxa: REVIVING POWERS ACTIVATE!

Alphonse: -comes back-

Lexxa: There. Now all is as it should be.

**Ed- I want another date my love!**

Edward: Um...

**Lexxxa- Come on a double date with Ed and me! You take Ichigo as your date!**

Lexxa: Um…

Ichigo: Um…

Edward: Um…

Lexxa: Um…

Ichigo: Um…

Lexxa: That's all for this chapter! Review!

_Ichigo: That was…interesting._

_Lexxa: Yes. Very much so._

_Al: WHY DID SHE WANT ME TO GO BOOM?_

_Lexxa: Because she apparently hated you._

_Al: HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM?_

_Lexxa: I'm fairly sure that Tucker hates me and I'm okay with it._

_Al: Tucker hates everyone. He doesn't count._

_Lexxa: Well then…let's try to get it through your brain through caps lock, shall we? NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU!_

_Al: AH! CAPS LOCK! _

_Ichigo: IT'S APPARENTLY CONTAGIOUS!_


	106. Murderous Intent About Tucker

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: The reviewer is… -dramatic pause-

Lexxa: Doc!

**Just a warning, this whole chapter shall be centered around… *drumroll* KILLING TUCKER!**

Tucker: But why?

Lexxa: Because everyone hates you.

**Tucker: I kill you. *kills him in most painful way possible.**

Tucker: OW! –dies-

Lexxa: What just happened?

Edward: Doc killed him.

Lexxa: Yeah, but how? All that happened was he went "OW!" and died…DOC HAS SUPERNATURAL POWERS!

**Roy: Char his stupid corpse.**

Roy: -snaps fingers-

Tucker: -ignites-

Lexxa: Ooh. He looks pretty when he's in flames. Well, he's not. The flames are pretty, though!

**Edward: Use a sword and chop it up!**

Edward: -chops it up- -catches on fire- AHH!

Lexxa: I think that we should've put him out first.

Edward: -running around studio- OW OW OW! PUT ME OUT! PUT ME OUT!

Alphonse: -dumps water on Edward-

Edward: -is covered in water- Thanks, bro.

Alphonse: No problem.

**Riza: Shoot it. Shoot it now!**

Riza: -shoots it-

Lexxa: …Does she ever run out of bullets?

Roy: It doesn't seem like it, does it?

Riza: -shoots for another five minutes straight-

Lexxa: Okay, how many bullets do you have in there?

Riza: A lot. –shoots for five more minutes-

Lexxa: I think that you're good.

Riza: -stops-

**Alphonse: Set your kitty army on him!**

Alphonse: RELEASE THE KITTIES!

Kitties: -attack the Tucker-

Lexxa: Ooh, Al was dramatic!

Alphonse: It was fun.

Lexxa: See why I do it all the time?

Alphonse: -nod-

**Anyone else: KILL. THE. TUCKER.**

Lexxa: DIE! –takes Zangetsu-

Ichigo: Hey!

Lexxa: GETSUGA TENSHOU!

Zangetsu: -does Getsuga Tenshou-

Lexxa: Okay. That was fun. So, that's all for this chapter! Remember to review!

_Ichigo: Must you always take Zangetsu from me?_

_Lexxa: Yes. Yes I must._

_Ichigo: Can't you just ask?_

_Lexxa: No. _

_Ed: Just accept your fate already, dude._

_Ichigo: …Fate accepted._


	107. Harming Alex and Psychic Powers

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Please welcome…

-random drum roll-

Ichigo: …Where did that come from?

Lexxa: THE STUDIO'S HAUNTED!

Ichigo: Anyway, please welcome-

-drum roll again-

Ichigo: Seriously, who is doing that?

Lexxa: IT'S THE GHOST OF FMADSD! His name shall be Fred.

Ichigo: But-

Lexxa: FRED!

Ichigo: Okay…Fred. Anyway, our reviewer is Sushi Hawkeye!

Riza: -makes a face-

Lexxa: STOP WITH THE FACE BEFORE I SET FRED UPON YOU!

Riza: -stops making face-

Lexxa: Good.

**Okay, first, I need to borrow Mary-Sue for torture purposes. Also the humunculi, but I'll be back for them later. Or better yet, I'll bring the person who dared to cross me here.**

***drags someone with a pixilated face***

Lexxa: HOLY SHIT, IT'S PIXILATED IN REAL LIFE!

Ichigo: HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?

Nikolas: -walks in- Oh, hey, I decided that I should visi-WHY IS THAT PERSON'S FACE PIXILATED?

Lexxa: NOBODY KNOWS!

**I still need to hide the identity, I wouldn't want anyone after me, wouldn't I?**

Lexxa: BUT HOW DID YOU MAKE HIS FACE PIXILATED?

Nikolas: Okay, I think we should calm down. But the main thing that needs to happen here is we need to name him/her/it.

Lexxa: His/her/its name shall be Alex. UNISEX NAME!

Ichigo: That works.

**Mary-Sue, do what you have to.**

Lexxa: RELEASE THE KRAKEN!

Ichigo: Haven't you used that joke before?

Lexxa: Maybe…but I'm too lazy to check.

Nikolas: Same old Lexxa, I see.

Mary-Sue: -comes out of closet-

Lexxa: Do you see this person? –points at Alex-

Mary-Sue: The one with the pixilated face? Yeah.

Lexxa: We have deemed him/her/it Alex. He/she/it crossed Sushi Hawkeye, so you now must torture. Enjoy.

Mary-Sue: -brings out chainsaws-

Lexxa: Hey! Torture. Not massacre.

Nikolas: …Same old Mary-Sue…

Mary-Sue: Aw… -puts away chainsaws-

Lexxa: Here. –gives makeup- Give he/she/it a terrible makeover.

Ichigo: How's that going to happen? The face is pixilated.

Lexxa: Okay first, I think that we've pretty much murdered the word pixilated. Second off, it's Mary-Sue. She can do the impossible. Besides, it'll work in our favor. _Terrible_ makeover.

Mary-Sue: -gives terrible makeover-

Lexxa: Um…it looks like Mary-Sue just smeared makeup all over her/him/it.

**Now the humunculi. **

Lexxa: Now, homunculi, HAVE A FIELD DAY!

Homunculi: -take turns using their powers to torture Alex- -except Gluttony- -no eating allowed-

Gluttony: What can I do?

Lexxa: Um…go get everyone Icees!

**While she is writhing in traumatized pain in the emo corner, dares.**

Lexxa: IT'S A SHE!

Ichigo: Alex is a she.

Nikolas: No more he/she/it. Just she.

**Ed and Roy- do my chemistry, physics, and biotech homeworks. **

Edward and Roy: Why?

**Why must you both ask why?**

Lexxa: PSYCHIC POWERS!

**Because we have school, baka. **

Lexxa: JAPANESE!

Edward and Roy: But why us?

**Why you?**

Lexxa: HOW DOES SHE DO THAT?

**Because Ed is the genius and Roy hates paperwork.**

Lexxa: Good reasoning, you!

Edward and Roy: -grumble to themselves- -sit in emo corner and do homework-

**Hughes- make a Facebook account. Same 9****th**** everyone. Hughes you can post pictures of Elicia. ;)**

Hughes: 9th?

Lexxa: I have no clue…

Hughes: BUT I CAN POST PICTURES OF MY BABY! I'M GOING TO DO IT NOW! –runs into computer lab-

**Roy- I hope your obsession is now with wolves. Because they are awesome creatures. I read a fic where you were a wolf chimera.**

Lexxa: I have no idea what he's obsessed with now.

Roy: I AM OBSESSED WITH DUCKS!

Lexxa: Ducks?

Roy: White Beauty converted me.

Lexxa: Okay then.

Nikolas: What happened to the chickens?

Lexxa: Wow. You are not caught up at all. Here, basically a person made Roy kill all of his chickens so he needs a new fetish. Somebody introduced him to White Beauty, a duck, and he is now obsessed apparently.

Nikolas: Okay then…

**Al- spend a day with my friend, a redhead neko chimera with golden eyes. And have a pet bunny and turtle.**

Alphonse: Okay!

Lexxa: Go to the Meeting Room!

Alphonse: -goes into Meeting Room-

**Tucker- I hate you, don't get me wrong, but the fic I mentioned where Roy was a chimera inspired me with this dare. Not that I wanted to give you a break. Make cute and adorable chimera pets without using humans. Like a neko-bunny? They have to not be deadly. Then give me one and set the rest loose in the studio.**

Tucker: Um…okay. –goes into Room of Experiments-

Nikolas: How many rooms do you have?

Lexxa: A lot.

Ichigo: Uh, there's a problem.

Lexxa: What?

Ichigo: The rest of the review was cut off and it's lost forever.

Lexxa: -falls to knees dramatically- NO!

Ichigo: Yeah…

Lexxa: Well, I guess that's it. Remember to review!

_Hughes: EVERYONE GO TO MY FACEBOOK PAGE!_

_Lexxa: We've seen all of your pictures of Elicia before. _

_Hughes: So…_

_Lexxa: We don't need to see them on a computer screen._

_Hughes: Aw…_


	108. Rescuing Cats and Hannah Montana

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: You abandoned us yesterday!

Lexxa: …My internet was down…

Ichigo: …I guess that you're forgiven.

Lexxa: Hello again, oceanthatsoars!

**Ed: Spend a week with Roy and help him with his paperwork.**

Edward: I don't wanna!

Lexxa: I don't care if you don't wanna. You're going to.

Edward: But I don't wanna!

Lexxa: -stare down-

Edward: Fine…

**Al: rescue 10 cats, name them, clothe them, and find perfect people to take care of them. Oh and it must take only one week.**

Alphonse: Kitties! –runs into Central to find cats-

Lexxa: I think that he likes that dare.

Ichigo: Just wait until he has to give them away.

Lexxa: That's going to kill him.

Ichigo: Wait…he has to clothe the cats?

Lexxa: …That ought to be difficult.

**Winry: Say that you hate auto mail and break Ed's leg. (replace it later)**

Winry: Okay. I've been meaning to get him a new version anyway. I hate automail! –smashes Edward's leg with wrench-

Edward: HEY! I LIKED THAT MODEL!

Winry: Too bad. Into the Mechanic Room.

Winry and Edward: -go into Mechanic Room-

**Riza: Dance to a Hannah Montana song of your choice in a skimpy swim suit in front of Roy. (Please don't shoot me.)**

Riza: Oh, come on.

Lexxa: You have to do it.

Riza: -goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in skimpy swim suit-

-Hannah Montana song comes on (USE THINE IMAGINATION!)-

Riza: -dances to it-

-song ends-

Riza: -goes back into Room of Changing-

Roy: It would've been better if it was a duck.

Lexxa: Of course it would, Roy…of course it would…

**Roy: Don't get a nose bleed.**

Roy: I would've if it was a duck.

Lexxa: -facepalm-

**Armstrong: No sparkles for a week.**

Armstrong: BUT WHAT AM I TO DO WITHOUT MY SPARKLES?

Lexxa: Not sparkle.

Ichigo: I don't think that's what he meant…

**Lexxa: I love your story! *hugs* So here's a taser for punishing naughty children!**

Lexxa: YEAH! –takes taser- I like this weapon. –evil smile-

Ichigo: And now we're doomed.

Alphonse: Forever.

**Ichigo: No sarcasm for a week.**

Lexxa: Ooh, that's going to be hard for you.

Ichigo: But…sarcasm…

Lexxa: YOUR SARCASTIC POWERS ARE BANNED FOR A WEEK!

Ichigo: Aw…

Lexxa: So that's all for this chapter!

Ichigo: Review!

_Ichigo: I miss being sarcastic._

_Lexxa: And I love my new taser._

_Ichigo: …Don't tase me._

_Lexxa: I won't if you don't give me a reason to._

_Ichigo: …_

_Lexxa: Maybe._


	109. Chapter 109 Bunny Revenge and Cousins

**Ooh, an author's note…how unlike me in this story. But, I couldn't figure out how to work this into the chapter. Anyway, ONTO THE REASON FOR THIS OBSTRUCTION! I'd like to tell people (people who review in guest accounts) that I will get to your dares eventually! I promise! But right now I'm running on 43 reviews. That's the most I've ever been behind. But, yeah! Don't be disappointed if you don't see your dares for a while, please! Now, you no longer have to read this boringness. ONTO THE INTERESTING STUFF!**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Days of absence. Explain.

Lexxa: Internet was down…again. I ALMOST DIED WITHOUT THE INTERNET FOR DAYS ON END!

Ichigo: And doesn't that say something about you?

Lexxa: But…but…I'm a creature of the internet…it's where I live…

Ichigo: Okay then… and before we announce the dares and such, which were submitted by a guest that didn't leave a name, Lexxa has something to say.

Lexxa: Ooh, formal. Anyway, I was looking back at my old chapters because I just went through and named them all, and I realized that I've become a lot less creepy. I MUST BECOME CREEPY AGAIN!

Ichigo: Which is not something that you hear everyday.

Lexxa: Yeah. So here are the dares!

**I dare Roy to give up drinking for a week(again)**

Lexxa: DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED THE FIRST TIME?!

Roy: I still don't think that it was that bad…

Lexxa: Yes. Yes it was.

Ichigo: I guess it doesn't matter because he has to anyway…

-one week later-

Lexxa: IT WAS AS TERRIBLE AS I REMEMBERED!

Roy: Drama queens.

Lexxa: Sure. –hands Vodka- Drink.

Roy: -drinks-

**al to be stuck in a room full of kittens**

Alphonse: Kitties!

Lexxa: Into the Room of Kitties!

Alphonse: -runs into Room of Kitties-

**riza to put on a bathing suit and go without trying to get Roy to do his paperwork**

Riza: What does the bathing suit have anything to do with Roy doing his paperwork?

Lexxa: It doesn't. That is why it does.

Riza: What?

Lexxa: What?

Riza: -goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in bathing suit-

Lexxa: And that way you will remain for the chapter.

**Ed to dress up as a big fluffy bunny and yell at scar for killing him.**

Lexxa: Ooh, bunny revenge!

Ichigo: -holds out bunny costume-

Edward: -takes bunny costume into Room of Changing- -comes in costume-

Scar: What?

Edward: WHY DID YOU KILL ME, YOU BASTARD?!

Scar: I'M SO SORRY!

Edward: NO! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE! –runs off-

Scar: LET ME LOVE YOU! –runs after Edward-

Lexxa: How great.

**winry hit Ed upside the head with her brand new wrench**

Winry: -throws a wrench after Edward-

Edward: -from other room- OW! HOW THE HELL DOES SHE DO THAT?!

**Last but not least, scar. Make him kill another bunny while havin Ed watch him while screaming "no! My cousin!"**

Lexxa: SCAR! BUNNY! GET IN HERE!

Scar and Edward: -come in-

Lexxa: Scar, you must kill this bunny. –holds out realistic fake bunny-

Scar: NOT AGAIN!

Lexxa: -whispers to Edward-

Edward: THAT'S MY COUSIN!

Scar: I CAN'T DO IT!

Lexxa: You'll do it or else Mary-Sue gets involved-

Scar: -to fake bunny- I'm so sorry… -explodes bunny-

Edward: WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO MY COUSIN?!

Scar: I HAD TO!

Edward: BUT THAT WAS MY COUSIN, BASTARD!

Lexxa: That's it for this chapter!

Ichigo: Remember to review!

_Scar: WHY MUST YOU MAKE ME HURT BUNNIES?!_

_Lexxa: Don't blame me, blame the reviewers._

_Scar: BUT WHY?!_

_Lexxa: …BECAUSE IT'S FUN! I ENJOY WATCHING YOUR PAIN AND ANGUISH!_

_Ichigo: Isn't that just wonderful?_


	110. A Long Author's Note and New Siblings

**Oh, hey, look. The second time in a row that I'm using an author's note. Wait…this is bothering me now…that first sentence did not have a good word to comma ratio…-irritation- Anyway, I'd like to say something. That I did not work into the chapter. Because I remembered after it was written. I'm over explaining now. **

**One of my reviewers (-cough- DarkForestWolf –cough-) has done something that I never dreamed would happen. She started a fanfic that was inspired by me. I feel very honored. –honored look (no I do not know what that would look like…)- It's called Fullmetal Alchemist:Brotherhood Dares!. Yes, the "!" is included. Don't forget the "!". So um…yeah! This note is way longer than I wanted it to be, but okay! Now I will let you read the story! Unless you skipped this. If you did, then how are you reading this? Huh? Yeah, that's what I thought. Nobody doesn't read this and finds out what it says. Unless your friend told you what it said. I'm over explaining again. ONTO THE STORY!**

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: And today's reviewer is animelover102!

Lexxa: Hey again, Anime!

**Ed: ok here are 10 free dares passes I'll give them to you as a thank you for breaking up with winry **

Edward: Okay…

**al: your awsome would you like to be a big brother plz**

Alphonse: Sure.

Lexxa: You are now Anime's big brother. Wait…wait…that means that by extension Ed's her big brother as well…

**Roy: I think Edward is way hotter then you but your still cool**

Lexxa: Oh, look. Another Risembool Ranger.

Roy: -goes to emo corner- Shut up…

**envy: throw yourself in the Mary- sue pit and don't come our intill the next 6 chapters**

Envy: What?! No!

Lexxa: You have to.

Envy: Like hell I do! –starts to run away-

Lexxa: Ichigo! After him/her/it/palm tree!

Ichigo: -runs after Envy-

Envy: I'M NOT A PALM TREE!

Ichigo: -catches Envy- -throws him/her/it/palm tree into Mary-Sue pit-

Envy: THE TORTURE!

**riza: your awsome so you deserve a break so here's a ticket to Hawaii**

Riza: Thanks.

**winry: *turns to dark voice* Ed is all mine now so you better BACK OFF YOU AUTOMAIL FREAK AND MAN STEALER!**

Winry: Ah!

Lexxa: Ooh, she had a vicious fangirl moment.

Ichigo: Aren't those always fun?

Lexxa: Yes. Yes they are. At least, to watch. Anyway, that's all for this chapter! Remember to review!

_Edward: Why are fangirls so scary?_

_Lexxa: Because. It's a breed. You cannot become a fangirl, you must be born one. The purebreds are the worst of them all._

_Ichigo: What are you going on about?_

_Lexxa: …What are YOU going on about?_

_Ichigo: I'm not going on about anything…_

_Lexxa: I like rabbits._

_Ichigo: What?_

_Lexxa: What?_


	111. Edsqueak and Karate

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Today's reviewer is Maruki Shitoichi!

Lexxa: If I tried to pronounce that I would slaughter your name!

Ichigo: Okay then…

**Maru: I know how you fell… (T_T)**

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: I think she's referring to how this got taken down a while ago.

**Natsumi: O-kay…**

**Maru: I have a dare for our good old friend Colonel Useless! (T_T)**

Roy: I'M NOT USELESS!

Lexxa: Yes you are. Stop denying it.

**Natsumi: Okay, WHAT'S with the expression, Maru? It's too, flat**

**Maru: You think? I only had 1 chapter, and THEY just deleted it! How can YOU be NOT upset! *annoyed***

**Natsumi: Okay-okay! Sheesh I was JUST asking, Maru**

Lexxa: Only one chapter? WHAT IS THIS BLASPHEMY?!

**Maru: Anyway, onto the dare. I dare him to be Natsumi's Fire Alchemy teacher! **

Roy: Okay, not too hard.

**For a YEAR! How will YOU handle THAT! :P**

Roy: What?! A year?!

Lexxa: Congratulations, Roy. You understand the English language.

**Natsumi: I understand that you're upset, Maru. But DON'T throw the BAD stuff at me, Maru!**

Roy: Hey! You should feel honored!

Lexxa: Oh, look. He's egotistical again.

**Maru: At least you got to piss him off, Natsumi *evil grin***

**Natsumi: Yeah… *sighs***

Lexxa: Yay for pissing off Colonel Flaming Pony!

Roy: Shut up!

**Maru: And another for Edsqueak! :P**

Lexxa: I like that Edsqeak name.

Edward: I don't! I'm not short!

**Maru: And for your dare, go into the world of rapid fangirls! For a week! And if ANYONE, ever tries to help him, *pulls out a black karate belt* SAY HELLO TO MY AWESOME KARATE TORTURES! :P**

**Natsumi: Yep! She got that black belt when she was JUST 4 years old! And it's kinda creepy to see her do that. Really. You'll get your butt a MAJOR pain!**

**Maru: *looks at Winry and Al viciously* You guys MAY be my favorite characters, but NONE of you can help the Shrimp!**

Winry and Al: -nod their head- -terrified expressions-

**Natsumi: I think you got high on chili sauce again, Maru**

**Maru: Am NOT! Anyway, bye! And DON'T TRY TO HELP THE SHRIMP! *evil glare***

**Natsumi: Bye! :)**

Lexxa: Bye! And I like it! Edward! Into the Room of Fangirls!

Edward: Why do we have a room dedicated to fangirls?

Lexxa: Why not?

Edward: -grumbles- -goes into Room of Fangirls-

-screaming is heard from inside Room of Fangirls-

Lexxa: He'll be alright.

Alphonse: But there's a lot of screaming going on in there…

Lexxa: He's going to be alright.

Alphonse: But—

Lexxa: HE'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT!

Ichigo: So that's it for this chapter.

Lexxa: Review!

_Ed: Those fangirls…so scary…_

_Lexxa: And that's why they're called fangirls._

_Ichigo: Just make sure that you don't crush their OTP._

_Lexxa: Or else all hell will break loose._

_Ichigo: Literally._

_Ed: Good to know…_


	112. Crazy Juice and AntiJokes

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Today's chapter will be very short.

Ichigo: The reviewer only had one dare.

Lexxa: And it's a guest that didn't leave a name! But I love you all the same.

**i dare ed to let roy call him short n not explode with rage**

Lexxa: -pulls out popcorn-

Ichigo: Where'd you get that?

Lexxa: -looks confused- I don't really know… -slowly puts popcorn down-

Roy: -in annoying voice that you can only assume that a hyper puppy would use- Hey! Hey Fullmetal! Guess what? Guess what! Fullmetal! Guess!

Edward: -annoyed- What?

Roy: You're short! –runs around room laughing-

Lexxa: CONTAIN THAT RAGE, EDWARD!

Ichigo: Did someone give Roy some extra crazy juice this morning?

Lexxa: That sounds like it would make a cool advertisement!

-advertisement-

Announcer: Are you tired of being boring? Is your life just too serious? Do you want to get fired from your job? Then drink Crazy Juice! 100% guaranteed to not be good for you in any way shape or form!

-end of advertisement-

Lexxa: Eh? What'd I tell ya?

Ichigo: Dear God…

Lexxa: Oh, look! Ed didn't explode with rage!

Ichigo: Good job, Ed!

Edward: -in emo corner-

Lexxa: Now to pass time I will now tell an anti-joke.

Ichigo: Anti-joke?

Lexxa: Anti-joke.

Roy: -stops running- I LOVE ANTI-JOKES!

Lexxa: You do?

Roy: Yeah! Why did Billy drop his ice cream?

Lexxa: Why?

Roy: He got hit by a bus! Why did the bus driver's license get revoked?

Lexxa: Why?

Roy: He hit a kid with an ice cream.

Lexxa: Yes! Why did Susie fall off the swings?

Roy: Why?

Lexxa: She doesn't have any arms. Knock knock.

Roy: Who's there?

Lexxa: Not Susie.

Roy: Yeah!

Ichigo: Of course both Roy and Lexxa like anti-jokes…

Lexxa and Roy: -high five each other-

Lexxa: Okay, well that's all for this chapter! Remember to review!

_Roy: What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor?_

_Lexxa: What?_

_Roy: Where's my tractor._

_Lexxa: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari?_

_Roy: What?_

_Lexxa: I don't have a Ferrari in my garage._

_Roy: What's green and has wings?_

_Lexxa: What?_

_Roy: Grass. I lied about the wings._

_Lexxa: What's the difference between a bike and a duck?_

_Roy: What?_

_Lexxa: They both have handlebars. Except for the duck._

_Ichigo: Are you two done yet?_

_Lexxa: WE WILL NEVER BE DONE!_

_Ichigo: Dear God…_


	113. Leprechauns and Hugs

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: -monotone- Hooray.

Lexxa: …Woah. Ichigo. Calm down there, dude. You don't need to be so enthusiastic.

Edward: What's wrong with him?

Lexxa: I think he needs a vacation. You wanna have the next few chapters off?

Ichigo: Yes.

Lexxa: Okay. Bye!

Ichigo: -leaves-

Edward: What?! So it's just going to be you?!

Lexxa: Of course not. Nikolas is back for the time being!

Nikolas: Hey! Did you miss me?

Edward: No. No we did not.

Lexxa: Well wasn't that a warm welcome?

Edward: Yes.

Lexxa: Anyway, today's reviewer is my amazing friend Silence-That-Kills-Me or, as it says on her profile, Amanda!

**LEXXA! This is AWESOME. Ok so first I have a dare for you. You have to read and review all my FMA stories. In return, I'll do the same for you! (I should warn you though, I write mostly depressing stuff- only Amestris High is humorous)**

Lexxa: Already done! Yeah, I did this dare when I saw the review. I recommend her! You guys should check her out, she's an amazing writer!

**Now. ED. You have to put on a ballerina outfit and dance in front of your fangirls. Here's a tutu. ):D**

Lexxa: THE FACE! IT HAS A UNIBROW!

Nikolas: Same old Lexxa…noticing the pointless.

Lexxa: That's my job!

Alphonse: Actually, your job is to dare us stuff…

Lexxa: Well…this is an extension of my job.

Alphonse: Bu—

Lexxa: IT'S AN EXTENSION!

Nikolas: So, Ed. Where's your tutu?

Edward: Wha-what do you mean? Are you suggesting that I own a tutu? –nervous laugh- -shifty eyes-

Lexxa: …Yes. Yes we are. Now wear that tutu and be proud!

Edward: I don't know what you're talking about. –shifty eyes-

Lexxa: Edward. Put. On. Your. Tutu.

Edward: Fine… -goes into Room of Changing-

Lexxa: So, Al. How long has your brother had that tutu?

Alphonse: …I didn't know he had one.

Lexxa: Ooh, it was a secret! Not anymore!

Edward: -comes out in tutu-

Lexxa: And now…INTO THE ROOM OF FANGIRLS!

Edward: -goes into Room of Fangirls- -comes out wearing only his boxers-

Lexxa: Man. 'Dem bitches be vicious.

**AL. You're pretty scary sometimes in that armor. I dare you to let Ed cut your blood seal out of the armor and attach it to this teddy bear!**

Alphonse: I have my body back, though…

Lexxa: Don't know what to do about that one!

**Now. Personally my favorite character is Greeling. Second favorite (don't hate me) is Kimblee simply because he is so skilled.**

Lexxa: Nameless loves Kimblee. I don't really understand why he gets so much hate. It's not like he turned his only daughter into a chimera. –death glare at Tucker-

Tucker: Aren't we over that by now?

Lexxa: No.

Ichigo: Don't forget that he did the same thing to his wife.

Everyone: -death glare at Tucker-

Tucker: -goes into emo corner-

**Greeling. You have to do an Irish jig. On Leprechauns day. In front of a bunch of short people. (Ed will do.)**

Edward: Hey!

Lexxa: When exactly is Leprechauns Day?

Ichigo: Shall we go to Urban Dictionary?

Lexxa: Yes. Yes we shall. –goes to computer- There's nothing there.

Ichigo: You know what that means.

Lexxa: -nods- FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF ETERNITY, AUGUST TWENTIETH SHALL BE KNOWN AS LEPRECHAUNS DAY!

Ichigo: So. Greeling. Do an Irish jig in front of Ed.

Edward: I'm not short!

Lexxa: Sure you're not…sure you're not…

Greeling: -does Irish jig- LOOK AT ME, ED! LOOK AT ME!

Edward: I'M NOT SHORT DAMMIT!

Greeling: -continues dancing while moving around Edward in circles- LOOK AT ME, YOU LEPRECHAUN!

Edward: I'M NOT A LEPRECHAUN!

**Kimblee. AWESOME I LOVE YOU CAN EXPLODE PEOPLE'S BLOOD IN THE ANIME. You have to hug a person every time someone says the words 'blood', 'I', or 'awesome'. In no specific order :3.**

Kimblee: …Challenge accepted.

**Ok. That's all I **

Kimblee: -hugs person nearest to him (Edward)-

Edward: DON'T TOUCH ME!

**can think of for now. **

Lexxa: Bye!

Ichigo: Greeling, you can stop dancing you know.

Greeling: NOT UNTIL ED LOOKS AT ME!

Lexxa: I—

Kimblee: -hugs Edward again-

Lexxa: -think he's enjoying this dare a little too much.

Ichigo: So that's it for this chapter!

Lexxa: Remember to review!

_Lexxa: Did Ed ever look at Greeling?_

_Greeling: No! And that made me sad._

_Ed: I'm not a freaking leprechaun!_

_Lexxa: Says the leprechaun._

_Ed: I'm not a leprechaun!_

_Lexxa: WHERE'S YOUR GOLD?!_

_Ed: I don't have any gold!_

_Roy: THEY'RE AFTER ME LUCKY CHARMS!_

_Ed: NO!_


	114. Mei's Screeches and IchiEd Similarities

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Why are you updating so late?

Lexxa: Genetics.

Ichigo: What?

Lexxa: What?

Ichigo: Anyway…only one dare today.

Lexxa: From animegeek5.

**I dare Mei to yell vilontly at Al**

Lexxa: Let the screeching commence!

Mei: I HATE YOU SO MUCH, ALPHONSE!

Lexxa: Ooh, tiny fury!

Alphonse: Really, Mei?

Mei: Nope.

Alphonse: Then why didn't you hesitate?

Mei: Because.

Lexxa: Ah, my shortest chapter yet. Wel…bye!

_Ichigo: Would it really have been that hard to do this sooner?_

_Lexxa: Your mom would've been hard to do sooner._

_Ichigo: My mother is dead._

_Lexxa: Oh, yeah! You basically killed her!_

_Ichigo: …Shut up…_

_Lexxa: Aw, you and Ed are closer than I thought! Except for the fact that, you know, Ed wasn't the cause of his mom's death._

_Ichigo: Shut up…_


	115. Temporary Goodbye

Lexxa: Hey you guys.

Ichigo: What, no intro?

Lexxa: No, because this is a different type of chapter.

Ichigo: Oh no…she's being serious…

Lexxa: So, like a lot of you I've started school again…

Ichigo: So?

Lexxa: Well, because of school I don't really have much free time anymore, and so I don't go insane I've been spending it on things that don't require much brain power.

Ichigo: I don't like where this is going…

Lexxa: I'm going on a hiatus.

Ichigo: So you're just going to leave us?

Lexxa: For a while. At least until I get more free time. Until then this story will be considered "complete" by standards. I _will _start up the show again, and I won't forget about the reviews, but right now I just don't have any time.

Ichigo: But…What are we supposed to do?

Lexxa: I don't know. But, at the very least, you readers can expect a chapter over the winter holidays. And since this chapter has very little substance, no chat box. So until then, farewell. And don't die.


	116. Hipster Ed

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Ah! It's not an extended break!

Lexxa: Yeah… I got really bored and decided to make a freak chapter for no apparent reason… Immediately after this chapter I'll be back on hiatus, though.

Ichigo: Today's review is from maisie.

Lexxa: She's a guest!

**will u be my friend on face book i really think u r funny and i would like to talk to u**

Lexxa: I put that in here because I need to address something. Yes, it must be formal. –clears throat- Lexxa is not my real name. It is a fake name that I use on this website due to my paranoid fear of stalkers. So, yeah, I would love to be friends with you on Facebook…but I don't want to give out my name.

**make Ed let Al keep all the kitty's **

Lexxa: Ed!

Edward: No! He cannot keep the cats!

Alphonse: But Brother—

Edward: NO!

Lexxa: Envy, come here for a moment.

Envy: -goes over to Lexxa-

Lexxa: Wanna pull a prank on Ed?

Envy: Of course I do!

Lexxa: Turn into their mom and make him let Al have cats.

Envy: -turns into Trisha-

Edward: Wait…MOM?!

Envy: Yes. And I want you to let Al keep the kitties.

Edward: But Mom…

Envy: Do you really want to argue with your mom who was dead for years?

Edward: No…

Envy: Then let Al have the cats.

Edward: Fine…Al, you can keep the cats…

Lexxa: Yay! Happy ending!

**could you call ed short**

Lexxa: Of course. HEY ED!

Edward: What?

Lexxa: YOU'RE SHORT!

Edward: YOUR MOM'S SHORT!

Lexxa: No short rant?

Edward: -puts on hipster glasses- Nah, that became too mainstream.

**here's some new brain cells for Roy yeah well he needs them now so I give u half of them now**

Roy: I don't need new brain cells!

Lexxa: Aw, Roy. Poor naïve Roy. Of course you need the brain cells!

Roy: No I don't!

Lexxa: You think you don't, but you really do. You know you do.

**if ya want u can call me fluffy cat demonness**

Lexxa: Alright Fluffy Cat Demoness!

Ichigo: So let me get this straight… this is a freak chapter?

Lexxa: -nod-

Ichigo: And you're going right back into hiatus?

Lexxa: -nod-

Ichigo: Alright.

Lexxa: Okay, so that's all for a while! Feel free to review, but don't expect anything anytime soon! And I have a ton of reviews to do anyway, so sorry if you've been waiting forever for me to do yours! I'll get to it, I promise!

_Ichigo: Okay, so that chapter's over. Let the partying continue!_

_Lexxa: Woah, there, dude. You know I still have an account on here, right?_

_Ichigo: Uh…yeah! Why would I forget that…_

_Lexxa: So what's this about a party?_

_Ichigo: A…STUDY PARTY! That's what it is…a study party…_

_Lexxa: I don't believe you, man. You're not good at lying…not even in writing form! _


	117. Al Has a Date and Dead Hookers

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: So you're back?

Lexxa: For Thanksgiving break, yeah!

Ichigo: But I liked you not being here…

Lexxa: -gives Ichigo death glare- What did you just say?

Ichigo: -panics a little- I said that I missed you! –nervous laugh-

Lexxa: -smiles a creepy smile- That's what I thought.

Ichigo: So this chapter's going to have only one dare.

Lexxa: But the next chapter's going to be up soon, okay guys?

Ichigo: You don't have to rush… -nervous laugh-

Lexxa: -death glare at Ichigo- Yes I do. So here is the dare from Queen of the Dark Angels!

**I want to go on a date with Al to anyplace of his choosing.**

Edward: That wasn't really a dare.

Lexxa: But it's close enough! Al, where are the two of you going to go on your date?

Alphonse: Um… I don't know…

Ichigo: Well, Queen of the Dark Angels, you've got yourself one hell of a date.

Lexxa: And a pretty epic username. And just make sure that those Dark Angels don't turn into Weeping Angels. Those things are scary as hell…

Ichigo: Did you really just make a Doctor Who reference?

Lexxa: Maybe… -shifty eyes-

Edward: So who's going to get Al ready for his date?

Lexxa: I nominate Roy!

Alphonse: He's not drunk, is he?

Roy: -stumbles in- -is slurring his words- I heard my name…

Lexxa: -to Alphonse- Yes he is. –to Roy- You're getting Al ready for his date.

Roy: What? Al has a date? When did this happen?

Lexxa: -looks at wrist where a watch would be- About three minutes ago.

Roy: -looks at Lexxa's wrist- That's a nice watch!

Lexxa: Why thank you.

Ichigo: But there isn't a watch there…

Lexxa: Only smart people can see the watch. To idiots it's not there.

Ichigo: Isn't that from that one story, the Emperor's New Clothes?

Lexxa: …No.

Ichigo: I'm pretty sure it i—

Lexxa: You're an idiot! Roy! Get Al ready for his date!

Roy: Okay! –drags Alphonse into Room of Date Clothes-

Alphonse: Brother! If I'm not back in fifteen minutes, call the police!

Lexxa: -glares at Ed- You call the police and I'm cutting off your eyebrows!

Ichigo: The cops are still looking for you?

Lexxa: Yeah…

Ichigo: You didn't do anything else, right?

Lexxa: Haha… no… -shifty eyes-

Ichigo: -facepalm-

Roy: -from inside Room of Date Clothes- You'll look so pretty, Al!

Alphonse: -from inside Room of Date Clothes- It's a dress! I'm a guy!

Roy: Are you sure about that?

-smashing is heard-

Lexxa: Well…

Ichigo: That's all for this chapter.

Lexxa: There are many more to come this week! Some days I won't be able to post because, after all, it _is_ Thanksgiving and I have to talk to my family… Even if I don't want to…

Ichigo: Do you not like your family?

Lexxa: They're weird. That's all I'm giving you…

Ichigo: Alright then…

Lexxa: Review!

_Ichigo: Lexxa, are you ever just going to stop this story?_

_Lexxa: When I die, yes. While I'm still living, no. _

_Ichigo: That's what you say now…_

_Lexxa: That's what your mom says now._

_Ichigo: That doesn't make sense._

_Lexxa: How about this one: Your mom's a hooker._

_Ichigo: No she's not!_

_Lexxa: Yes she is. She's a hooker, just like you._

_Ichigo: My mother's dead!_

_Lexxa: …She's a dead hooker._


	118. Disturbing Bikinis and Mental Scarring

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: How was your date, Al?

Alphonse: She wasn't as fangirly as I thought she would be. It was nice!

Lexxa: See fangirls? No person wants to go on a date with a raging psychopath.

Ichigo: Is that why you don't have a date?

Lexxa: …Let's move on! So it's Queen of the Dark Angels again. I trust that they are still dark and not weeping…

**Al: I dare you to kiss Winry in front of Ed. **

Alphonse: What?! I don't want to die!

Lexxa: Too bad. What you want is irrelevant at this point.

Alphonse: Um…

Lexxa: Time for me to do my specialty! –pulls out a camera- Making awkward moments even more awkward! –starts taking pictures- Hey Al! You and Winry should kiss!

Winry: -tries to back away-

Lexxa: Ichigo! Get her!

Ichigo: -keeps Winry in the room-

Lexxa: -starts shoving Al over to Winry- Don't make me become the moon from ASDF Movie.

Alphonse: Wha?

Lexxa: You asked for it. –clears throat- -in a retarded voice- You guys should kiss!

Winry: I don't even know how that happens!

Lexxa: Bob Saget, just kiss already!

Edward: -tries to look away from Alphonse and Winry-

Lexxa: Hell no! –makes Edward watch-

Alphonse: -kisses Winry-

Winry: -just stands there-

Lexxa: -lets Edward go- Now was that so hard?

Ichigo: Next dare!

**Also, taunt your brother about his shortness and complain about not having a girlfriend for ONE WHOLE CHAPTER.**

Alphonse: But I'm fine with not having a girlfriend…

Lexxa: The Queen has told you to complain, so complain!

Alphonse: How come my short brother has a girlfriend and I don't? That's not even fair!

Edward: I'm not short!

Alphonse: Short short short short short!

Edward: -chases Alphonse-

Alphonse: -runs away from Edward-

**Ed: Act like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club for (Goes into Shadow Queen mode) 5 WHOLE CHAPTERS**

Edward: How does Tamaki act?

Lexxa: I don't know… To the interwebs! –goes to the computer- Um… it says he acts like a fool and has a caring side to him… I say just act like an idiot.

Envy: Isn't he already an idiot?

Edward: -hits Envy with a bat- I'm not an idiot!

Lexxa: Where'd the bat come from?

Edward: -looks at bat then back at Lexxa- I found it.

Lexxa: Yeah, but you didn't have it a second ag—

Edward: I just found it, okay?!

Lexxa: …Alright then… Ed's lost his mind…

Alphonse: And he's short.

Edward: -starts chasing Alphonse around with the bat-

**also sing I'm Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO**

Edward: -stops running- That's not so bad.

**in a bikini!**

Edward: Ah, hell…

Lexxa: -slaps Edward with a rubber chicken- Language, Missy!

Edward: I'm a guy!

Lexxa: And I'm a girl! But you're still Missy when I have to yell at you.

Edward: Um… alright then…

Lexxa: Now go into the Room of Changing and get in your bikini!

Edward: I'm scared now. –goes into Room of Changing- -comes out in a bikini-

Lexxa: How… disturbing actually. –shudders-

Nina: What's tha—

Lexxa: -covers Nina's eyes- Nothing, dear… nothing…

Nina: But I want to know what it i—

Lexxa: It's nothing…

Mei: What's going on? –looks at Ed- What's tha—

Lexxa: -covers Mei's eyes as well- Jesus Christ, Ed! Just sing the damn song already!

Edward: When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly. I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak. –sings the rest of the song-

Lexxa: Now go change out of that thing!

Edward: What if I like it?

Lexxa: Then you're queer.

Edward: And what's wrong with that?

Lexxa: Are you queer?

Edward: No…

Lexxa: Then change out of that thing.

Edward: -goes into Room of Changing-

Lexxa: -uncovers Mei and Nina's eyes- That's all for this chapter.

Ichigo: Review!

_Ed: What was wrong with me wearing the bikini?_

_Lexxa: Think about it, Ed. Bikinis are made with the idea that vaginas will be in them, and nothing larger. Now, you do not have a vagina. Something was made very obvious. _

_Ed: Oh… that's why you covered Nina and Mei's eyes…_

_Lexxa: Yeah… I never want to see a guy in a bikini again… _


	119. Country Throwing

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: -hits Lexxa with a rubber chicken- I HAVE SPOKEN!

Lexxa: Actually, that's the first thing that you've said.

Ichigo: … -throws Lithuania-

Lexxa: Oh, do you want a country-throwing war?

Ichigo: Bring it on!

Lexxa: -throws Thailand-

Ichigo: -throws China-

Lexxa: -throws Zimbabwe-

Ichigo: -throws Argentina-

Lexxa: -throws Russia-

Ichigo: -throws Canada-

Lexxa: -throws Ghana-

Edward: Enough throwing countries!

Lexxa: -throws Malaysia at Edward- You're not my real mom!

Edward: I'm not even a girl!

Lexxa: That's what you think.

Edward: I have a penis! I swear to Gate I do!

Lexxa: Nobody wants to see that thing!

Edward: Everybody's already seen it from the chapter I had to wear a bikini!

Everybody: -shudders-

Lexxa: Don't remind us…

Ichigo: So is there a reviewer or are we just going to stand around here like idiots?

Lexxa: You're the only idiot I see around here. But yes there's a reviewer. It's zombierage34.

**i dare ichigo to fight edward elric the epic fight of the century**

Lexxa: I say you fight with… countries! May the one that knows more countries win!

Ichigo: -throws Luxembourg-

Alphonse: Brother's going to lose this one.

Edward: -throws Greenland- Hey!

Ichigo: -throws Mexico- It's true!

Edward: -throws Indonesia- Want a bet?

Ichigo: -throws Japan- You know I do!

Edward: -throws Mongolia-

Ichigo: -throws Brazil-

Edward: -throws South Africa-

Ichigo: -throws Congo-

Edward: -throws Algeria-

Ichigo: -throws Chad-

Edward: Um… I don't know any more countries!

Ichigo: -throws America- Idiot!

Edward: Ah! –dodges-

Ichigo: -throws Germany, Cyprus, North Cyprus, Australia, Samoa, Poland, Denmark, Bulgaria, Czech Republic, and Sudan-

Edward: You win! You win!

Lexxa: How did you know all of those countries?

Ichigo: I… don't know…

**roy to admit that ed is better than him**

Roy: So he wants me to lie?

Edward: It's not a lie if it's true.

Lexxa: You don't say?

Roy: Well I know more than six countries. Baka.

Edward: Aw HEEEELL (pronounced "hail") NAW! –pretends to take off earrings and hands them to Alphonse- GIRRUH, HOLD MAH EARRINGS! SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!

Roy: -cough- Homogayqueerfag. –cough-

Lexxa: Well then…

Edward: -throws Uzbekistan- Seven.

Lexxa: Roy! Just do your dare!

Roy: -gasps- You want me to lie?

Lexxa: Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Roy: Edward is better than me. That was difficult.

Lexxa: -throws Kazakhstan at Roy- Shut up.

Ichigo: Poor countries…

Lexxa: That's all for this chapter. Review!

_Ichigo: There was a lot of country throwing this chapter…_

_Lexxa: There most certainly was. _

_Ichigo: Seriously, how do you throw countries?_

_Lexxa: You've just got to believe!_

_Ichigo: Oh, brother…_


	120. Sticks and Frigidness

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: What? You're writing again so soon? What happened?

Lexxa: Shut up… But I may or may not be in the middle of a trip that takes a couple hours to get from Point A to Point B…

Ichigo: Somebody sounds mathematical.

Lexxa: Somebody sounds stupid.

Ichigo: Rude…

Lexxa: Anyways, this review is from symmetricalravenxx8.

**Can you mention that I wanted to say that I love Ed?**

Lexxa: Ed! She loves you! At least I think it's a she.

Edward: Um… alright…

Lexxa: Say that you love he/she/it too!

Edward: I love you too…

Lexxa: You don't sound too convincing.

Edward: Your mom doesn't sound too convincing. In bed.

Lexxa: You just basically insulted yourself.

Edward: What? How?

Lexxa: Think about it.

Edward: -thinks about it- I hate you.

Lexxa: Alright, Frigid Boy.

**Also I dare Al to go an entire day without thinking of kittens.**

Alphonse: But, how will you know what I'm thinking?

Lexxa: With this! –pulls out a stick-

Alphonse: What's that supposed to be?

Lexxa: A stick.

Alphonse: And how is that stick supposed to make you know what I'm thinking?

Lexxa: -shrug- I don't know. I just wanted a stick.

Ichigo: So there's nothing special about that stick?

Lexxa: Nope.

Ichigo: That's a first.

Lexxa: -hits Ichigo with stick- Shut up!

Ichigo: Ow!

Lexxa: -hits Alphonse with stick- Stop thinking about kittens!

Alphonse: How did you know?!

Lexxa: Magic.

Edward: -has dictionary- I am not frigid!

Ichigo: What does it mean exactly?

Lexxa: Sexually unsatisfying.

Ichigo: Well then…

Edward: -throws dictionary- I am not frigid!

Lexxa: Then why did you say that my mom doesn't sound convincing in bed?

Edward: Um… because… Shut up!

Lexxa: I win. So that's all for this chapter. Review!

_Alphonse: Brother… how would you know what Lexxa's mom sounds like in bed?_

_Edward: That's a question for when you're older._

_Alphonse: But…_

_Edward: When you're older!_


	121. Miniskirts and Panty Snatching

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: Ooh, another chapter. You must be really bored.

Lexxa: Shut up. So this review is from Ice LunaWolf. Which is a pretty epic name, by the way.

**I dare Ed to wear a mini skirt!**

Lexxa: This seems familiar… Did we have a dare like this before?

Ichigo: I don't know… Off to the records! –goes into the Room of Records- -comes back out- Too… many… chapters…

Lexxa: -shrug- Ed still has to wear the miniskirt.

Edward: No! I don't want to!

Lexxa: I did not ask if you wanted to! Now go put on a miniskirt and look pretty! Or, as pretty as possible…

Edward: No!

Lexxa: Do we need to throw countries again?

Edward: No! Dear God no, I'll go put on the miniskirt… -goes into the Room of Changing and comes out in miniskirt-

Lexxa: You look really awful in a miniskirt. –shrug-

**I dare Roy to steal Olivier Armstrong's panties!**

Roy: No! I don't want to die!

Olivier: -pulls out sword-

Lexxa: This'll be fun. –eats popcorn-

Roy: I don't want to do this!

Lexxa: You have to. It's a dare.

Roy: But—

Lexxa: Your argument is invalid.

Roy: Um… Olivier… can I have your pa—

Olivier: No.

Lexxa: Besides, it says to _steal_ her panties.

Roy: -looks uncertain-

Olivier: -readies her sword-

Lexxa: Do it already!

Roy: -runs into Olivier's room-

Olivier: -runs after him-

Roy: -runs out with a pair of Olivier's panties-

Olivier: -chases Roy with her sword- I'm going to kill you!

Roy: I'm sorry, I'm sorry! –throws Olivier's panties at her-

Olivier: You did _not_ just do that!

Roy: I'm sorry!

Lexxa: That went better than expected.

**Pride/Selim, I love you! You're my favorite homunculus! I dare you to control Al's armored body!**

Alphonse: But I'm out of my armor…

Lexxa: Back in, you go.

Alphonse: What?

Lexxa: -pulls out Al's armor- Into the suit!

Alphonse: -puts on armor-

Pride: Now I get to control it… Fun.

Alphonse: -starts spazzing out- I don't like this!

Lexxa: You aren't supposed to.

Alphonse: -hits his helmet and makes a loud noise- Ow!

Ichigo: That's all for this chapter!

Lexxa: Review!

_Alphonse: I didn't like that at all…_

_Ichigo: You weren't supposed to, Al. It was for Selim's enjoyment._

_Pride: I go by Pride, thank you very much._

_Ichigo: Whatever, Selim._

_Pride: Pride._

_Lexxa: Lexxa!_

_Ichigo: *facepalm*_


	122. Shorty is Short

Lexxa: Welcome back to the Fullmetal Alchemist Dare Show of Doom!

Ichigo: This review is from a guest.

Lexxa: Welcome, guest!

**i dare ed to let roy call him short n not explode with rage**

Edward: Not going to happen. I'm not short.

Roy: Shorty, what's up? Shorty, why won't you answer me? Shorty!

Edward: Who's Shorty?

Roy: You are, Shorty.

Edward: I am not short!

Lexxa: Temper!

Roy: You are very short.

Edward: I. Am. Not. Short.

Roy: You are very short.

Lexxa: No rage!

Edward: -sits there-

Lexxa: -gives Edward a cookie- Good boy!

Edward: -noms on cookie-

Ichigo: That's all we have from the guest…

Lexxa: Review!

_Roy: Where's my Shorty?_

_Ed: I am not short!_

_Lexxa: Aw, come on Shorty! You know you are._

_Ed: I am not!_

_Lexxa: Sure you're not._


End file.
